Defining Love

[seohdwm46]

I think love means to be able to remove all protective barriers from your heart. To open yourself totally to another person. To have that person become one with you. Not being able to tell where that person ends and you begin. When that person walks into a room, they appear as the sun breaking through the clouds on a rainy day. Love means to do for that person anything you can to make their life happier, without expectations of payback. Selfless acts of kindness. Willing to lay one's life down for another, there is no greater gift.

 

[Ediversity]

Been meaning to post this for awhile
Think the author Robert A Heinlein said it very, very well.....

"Love" is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.

The more you love, the more you can love--and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had Time Enough, he could Love all of the majority who are decent and just.

 

[Belle_Ringer]

Been meaning to post this for awhile
Think the author Robert A Heinlein said it very, very well.....

"Love" is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.

The more you love, the more you can love--and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love.

I agree with this very much. Everytime I have fallen in love it has made my capacity for love of all greater.

 

[Cathleen]

Been meaning to post this for awhile
Think the author Robert A Heinlein said it very, very well.....

"Love" is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.

The more you love, the more you can love--and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had Time Enough, he could Love all of the majority who are decent and just.

I agree with this very much. Everytime I have fallen in love it has made my capacity for love of all greater.

I associate this kind of love with love of your children... having more then one child doesn't mean your love is divided, rather the capacity to love is increased (to wonderful levels).

With regard to a romantic kind of love I don't see my capacity to love grow necessarily. (If) Each time I fall in love I'm assuming there has been an ending to a previous romantic love (just following 'societal norms' of loving and giving your energy to one person at a time). There is pain in ending or losing a lover. That pain becomes part of me, just as all the joys do.

However, for me I think I hold back from that next loving relationship. It might be conscious or not, it might be intentional or not, but my guard would be up. Also depending on the reason for the split I might wall off a part of my heart.

Intellectually I understand what you and Heinlein are saying but it's like the difference between theory and reality, in my opinion. I'm human, I think we have a natural response to pain and that is to find safety. Maybe I need to fight against that reaction when faced with pain but in reality I think I retreat inside or cover my heart from potential pain.

M.Scott Peck's definition of love, well one of his numerous thoughts, is that idea you both and seohdwm46 mention... that our love is projected outward and our happiness is tied to the other's happiness. That pure love would let that person go if it is in their best interest on a spiritual level... given that he associated love with a devine gift.

I'd like to be able to say my capacity would increase and I'm sure at times it might grow but I also can't deny that there are pains within my heart that scream out to stay safe -- which isn't a place where my love flows freely.

Thanks to you all for sharing, please feel free to keep sharing.

 

[hdlynnette]

I'm not so sure I believe in love anymore. Love of family and friends, sure, I have THE best parents a girl could ask for and I have 3 girlfriends that have been my best friends for 31 years now. THAT is love at it's finest in my book. I just haven't had the best of luck in the type of love a man and woman have for one another. There seems to always be some kind of deception or one party seems to have more love than the other one. I do keep the door open for love to come on in, but I'm not holding my breath for it.

 

[tbs230]

Honesty

Well I've always hoped for love...and I know I try to give myself fully to whomever I'm with...but people bring everything into a relationship...pain, anger, hurt, enthusiasm...I mean all that has to be factored in, no? I always thought to be in love, you had to come to terms with all your issues and be willing to allow your SO into the part of you that holds onto the pain and hurt...and once you allow someone into that part of your pysche...how could you ever NOT love them?

I mean, isn't that what loving your family is? Having a unit that knows all your hurts and disappointments and allowing them into that part of yourself?

Love is being honest about everything...about feeling pain when someone you love feels pain, about being glad when that person acheives something...and love is about being able to forgive...regardless of what it is...

But what do I know? I'm only 19...I could be completely wrong...

 

[Cathleen]

Well I've always hoped for love...and I know I try to give myself fully to whomever I'm with...but people bring everything into a relationship...pain, anger, hurt, enthusiasm...I mean all that has to be factored in, no? I always thought to be in love, you had to come to terms with all your issues and be willing to allow your SO into the part of you that holds onto the pain and hurt...and once you allow someone into that part of your pysche...how could you ever NOT love them?

I mean, isn't that what loving your family is? Having a unit that knows all your hurts and disappointments and allowing them into that part of yourself?

Love is being honest about everything...about feeling pain when someone you love feels pain, about being glad when that person acheives something...and love is about being able to forgive...regardless of what it is...

But what do I know? I'm only 19...I could be completely wrong...

I think you know a lot, don't discount your age. Thank you for sharing - a long overdue thank you but sincere.

 

[Cathleen]

I was looking for something this afternoon and ran across a sentence in a post that my brain went back to read a few times. The thought shared was that the poster knew what love was but didn't know what to do with it.

Now, I can't say I know what love is, truly, but I can't get the second thought out of my mind. What do you do with love?

Anyone care to ponder that with me?

 

[DLL]

I was looking for something this afternoon and ran across a sentence in a post that my brain went back to read a few times. The thought shared was that the poster knew what love was but didn't know what to do with it.

Now, I can't say I know what love is, truly, but I can't get the second thought out of my mind. What do you do with love?

Anyone care to ponder that with me?

share it

 

[Gypsy_Lis]

Give it all That way you will know...

 

[M's girl]

I was looking for something this afternoon and ran across a sentence in a post that my brain went back to read a few times. The thought shared was that the poster knew what love was but didn't know what to do with it.

Now, I can't say I know what love is, truly, but I can't get the second thought out of my mind. What do you do with love?

Anyone care to ponder that with me?

I believe you always get back what you give. Maybe not right away and maybe not always from the person you expect it from but it will come back to you in the end. I suppose that's how it is with love too. Love can be given in many ways and it returns to you in many, sometimes unexpected, ways too...

 

[bobsgirl]

I was looking for something this afternoon and ran across a sentence in a post that my brain went back to read a few times. The thought shared was that the poster knew what love was but didn't know what to do with it.

Now, I can't say I know what love is, truly, but I can't get the second thought out of my mind. What do you do with love?

Anyone care to ponder that with me?

You know, I had a big long-winded answer all typed out and I just deleted it. What do I do with love? I try very hard to treat it carefully because love is a very special gift. I try very hard to treat it the way I would hope another would treat the gift of my love.

 

[NaughtyLil1]

You know what's sad? Outside of the love that I feel for my children, family and friends, I haven't the slightest idea what love is. Oh well, maybe someday.

 

[Cathleen]

Naughty, BG, M's girl, Gyspy Lis, DLL, please pardon my lack of a thank you for responding... I do thank you for sharing.

I've been thinking about love of late. I ran across some questions a young person was pondering about love and was amazed at how easy it felt to reply. That wouldn't have been the case a few years ago but because of the real person who started this discussion a while back I have a far better ability to think about love and more importantly I have a willingness that wasn't there prior. My thanks to that friend.


The questions the young lady asked are these:

1. Can you fall in love more than once in your lifetime?

2. Can you experience true love more than once?

3. Can you fall in love with someone who isn't in love with you?

4. Is there only one person who is 'meant to be'?

5. Are you ever too young or too old to be in love?

6. Does true love really last forever?

7. What defines "falling in love"?


I had a big smile for the last question, falling in love is so diffferent than loving but the emotions those words stir are so very delightful.

Maybe we can stir up some more thoughts about this wonderfully amazing human condition.

 

[wicked woman]

Yes some questions about love are simple. Aren't they Cate. Others much more difficult.

Naughty, BG, M's girl, Gyspy Lis, DLL, please pardon my lack of a thank you for responding... I do thank you for sharing.

I've been thinking about love of late. I ran across some questions a young person was pondering about love and was amazed at how easy it felt to reply. That wouldn't have been the case a few years ago but because of the real person who started this discussion a while back I have a far better ability to think about love and more importantly I have a willingness that wasn't there prior. My thanks to that friend.


The questions the young lady asked are these:

1. Can you fall in love more than once in your lifetime? definitely yes...over and over again

2. Can you experience true love more than once? definitely yes...over and over again

3. Can you fall in love with someone who isn't in love with you? Unfortunately yes

4. Is there only one person who is 'meant to be'? For some maybe...but not me...refer to 1 and 2 above...if anything I'm more inclined toward polyamorous

5. Are you ever too young or too old to be in love? hmmm...never too old (or I'm in trouble). As for too young, yes I think so...a certain maturity is required to be in love

6. Does true love really last forever? Difficult question especially if you know how few years I was married. I'd have to say yes...but not for me so far...although my love has lasted longer than a relationship...and in one case longer than his life.

7. What defines "falling in love"? ah for that you'd have to refer to earlier posts of mine...and that book Yank likes to quote


I had a big smile for the last question, falling in love is so diffferent than loving but the emotions those words stir are so very delightful.

Maybe we can stir up some more thoughts about this wonderfully amazing human condition.

 

[bobsgirl]

Naughty, BG, M's girl, Gyspy Lis, DLL, please pardon my lack of a thank you for responding... I do thank you for sharing.

I've been thinking about love of late. I ran across some questions a young person was pondering about love and was amazed at how easy it felt to reply. That wouldn't have been the case a few years ago but because of the real person who started this discussion a while back I have a far better ability to think about love and more importantly I have a willingness that wasn't there prior. My thanks to that friend.


The questions the young lady asked are these:

1. Can you fall in love more than once in your lifetime? Yes, absolutely.

2. Can you experience true love more than once? Yes. I also believe you can be in love with more than one person at a time.

3. Can you fall in love with someone who isn't in love with you? Story of my life.[COLOR]

4. Is there only one person who is 'meant to be'?If that were true, the odds of meeting that one 'meant to be' would be very high. But I do think there are individuals who, for whatever reason, choose not to leave themselves open to the possibility of new love, after they've experienced what they consider to be their one true love.

5. Are you ever too young or too old to be in love? I like WW's answer on this one.

6. Does true love really last forever?Well, I think sometimes it does, if you nurture it and care for it. But is a temporary love 'true love'? Yes, I think it is.

7. What defines "falling in love"?I will have to ponder on that one (and you know I hate pondering, Cate) for a while.


I had a big smile for the last question, falling in love is so diffferent than loving but the emotions those words stir are so very delightful.

Maybe we can stir up some more thoughts about this wonderfully amazing human condition.

In general, I'm an incurable, though at this time of my life, cynical, romantic.



Very small hijack: WW, gotta love that new AV. Is it new? [/hijack]

 

[wicked woman]

Very small hijack: WW, gotta love that new AV. Is it new? [/hijack]

Thanks hon...no it's not new... it was a Frederick's of Hollywood purchase a few years ago. I've used it as an AV before but guess it's been so long that it seems like a new one.

oh and while we're talking about AVs...I love the passion in yours.

 

[Cathleen]

Good morning ladies of the beautiful AVs.

I see we all have many thoughts in common about those questions. What I found interesting is the younger kids (18-28 ish) had thoughts that I might have had even just a few years ago. It pays to think!! I told you people that pondering is not bad!

 

[dcraz]

Good stuff Cate

I suspect that most of the people here have similar ideas about their own personal answers to the questions you posed. But I will offer my 2 cents (not sure they are worth any more than that )


The questions the young lady asked are these:

1. Can you fall in love more than once in your lifetime?

You can. If you chose to. By that, I mean you have to open your heart to the possibility and welcome love again. There have been many people that fell in love only to lose the love of their life to an untimely death. These people have been young, vibrant, loving people capable of loving again. Yet, they felt such a bond, such a devotion that they chose to live with the love of a memory of their lost spouse and were not interested in another love. Then there are those that have loved and lost. Either by separation or death. And they have chosen to close themselves off. They do this to protect themselves. For their lost love was so painful, so hurtful as to make them never want to even risk love or that kind of pain again. For most of us, I think we feel the need to share love we have and feel loved in return. This allows many to open their hearts and explore the possibility of falling in love again. For them (myself included if need be), the joy and completeness of love offered and love received is so great, they choose to be open to the possibility should it ever arise again.

This is all a very personal choice and one that only we can make for ourselves. We also need to be very careful not to pass judgement (intentional or unintentional) on others for their choices. I have been blessed to have encouraged someone to give love a chance. And she has found it. But I have also come close to losing a very dear friend by trying to encourage them when they just did not have it in their heart. So please be careful and accept the choices others make for themselves.


2. Can you experience true love more than once?

Of course you can. This is very similar to the first question but not quite the same is it? The first question seems to be more or a question about intent to fall in love or give love the chance. While this one seems to me, to be more along the lines of love 'happening' to you. You may be aware or even driving this experience. Or you might have been unaware and it happen to you without your knowledge until it was just there. I believe we can experience true love more than once. Love offered to us, shown to us by others. We might not even recognize it until it is suddenly in our face, like a light bulb going off. And it might not even be returned with the same depth or commitment. But it can beautiful just the same.


3. Can you fall in love with someone who isn't in love with you?

Sadly we can. Love takes on many forms and there are so many varying degrees of love that even this can be hard to define. But clearly, we can love another without having that love returned. Sometimes, we love first and the love of another comes along more gradually. Sometimes we love only to find it is or can never be returned. And sometimes, we love another so completely. And they love us in return. But it is not the same love. Not as deep as ours. Perhaps this kind of love, is the most cruel of all. To know you are loved, but not loved deeply enough to have it returned in kind.


4. Is there only one person who is 'meant to be'?

I find this to be a silly question really. It is a nice premise if you will. And it makes us feel so complete when we can suggest that we have found 'the one'. But come on now. This is a simple matter of statistics and logic. If, there were only one true love for us, among the billions of people on the planet, what are the odds of finding 'the one'? The world would be filled with lonely people... The fact is, love is not guaranteed or set. With 'the one' or anyone else. We have to chose to love and we have to learn to love and accept another. This is a growing process and one that takes awareness. We may chose to accept that 'fate' brought us together, to give us a chance at love. But love is up to us, not up to fate.

5. Are you ever too young or too old to be in love?

Never too old. To know love, to understand love, as we do as we mature and grow, is to never tire of love. We can, with age, grow out of love. Become bitter or hardened or selfish. But this is not always the case. We can love, find love, and be in love as long as we are able to take a breath. You can be too young for love too. While some people mature much younger than others, I agree with WW and BG. It takes a certain maturity and accumulated experience to understand what true love is. Sometimes, we may 'think' we are in love and then grow to love them more deeply than we ever imagined. But to know, to understand and to feel love requires a certain age. Which is not to say that everyone eventually reaches an age where they are capable of love. Clearly, some people will never have the maturity or compassion necessary for love regardless of their age. Sad but true.


6. Does true love really last forever?

Not always, but it can. There is such a tendency now days for people to be demanding and impatient. With everything including love. A simple fight quickly turns into ultimatums and decisions contrary to love. Love takes time to 'age' and it take commitment and understanding. True love CAN last forever. If two people are truly in love and committed to making it work. And is there any greater reward for that effort that to be the recipient of true love forever and ever?


7. What defines "falling in love"?

Ahhh yes. The age old question. I think the simple answer is that love is defined differently by all of us. We each have our ideas of what love is. What it feels like and what it means to us and should mean to others that love us in return. I suspect 'falling in love' means both being in love and being loved at the same time. To feel love for someone (in my definition) is to have a sense they are with us through each day. Throughout each experience whether they are with us physically or not. We hear a song and think of them. We see a book and think of them. We enjoy eating ice cream and think of them. We listen when they talk. We remember things about them because it is important to us. Not just big things like birthdays, but little things too. We use this information to do things for them. Not because we are supposed to or because it is expected. We do things for them because we want to bring joy to their lives. A simple act of kindness or something much more personal. We make personal sacrifices of our own because we want to. To please them is more important than pleasing ourselves (trying hard to keep this discussion serious here ). Could you possible love someone enough to let them go? What if their needs are greater than your own need for love? What if loving you is holding them back from something more fulfilling to them? Perhaps this is the most difficult sacrifice of all.

To know someone loves us in return is to feel all of those things above in reverse. It is to feel respected, appreciated. To know that they think of us when they feel joy. Or pain. To know we are in their thoughts, their feelings, their heart. To know their decisions are based in no small part on how they might impact you. And to know that more times than not, it is for you or your benefit that they make the decisions they do.

Sorry for all the idle rambling and incoherent blather here. Not to mention the horrific grammar, but I am just too tired to go back and fix it all When I first saw this post, I had so many thoughts and ideas about how to respond. But after reading what I wrote, I am not so sure it makes any sense at all.

 

[Cathleen]

I just realized I didn't add my answers to those questions I found.

1. Can you fall in love more than once in your lifetime?

Absolutely. Our capacity to love usually grows as we mature (hopefully). Our experiences in life change and/or expand our beliefs about many things.

2. Can you experience true love more than once?

Again, absolutely. But what is ''true love?'' That is a personal decision. We don't all love in the same manner throughout our lives - we change.

3. Can you fall in love with someone who isn't in love with you?

You can and it can hurt and it can go both ways. All experiences shape us and our perceptions of others as well as ourselves are all brought into every relationship, whether it's a "romantic" love or not.

4. Is there only one person who is 'meant to be'?

I don't think so -- not at all. If it were so then we'd not change as we mature. Who we love at 20 is a representation of who and how we can love at 20. Expanding our minds and hearts means change, we don't all do it at the same pace or method. If there is only one person then it'd be like looking for a needle in a haystack but the haystack is on the other side of the world (IMHO). We can love many people in our lifetime.

5. Are you ever too young or too old to be in love?

No, not really. Again, it's our capacity to love. Loving someone at 15 is most definitely not the same as loving someone at 25 or 45 etc. It's just different, there are certain similarities in feelings but the whole of it is different. I sometimes think loving at 15 is far easier but loving at 45 is so much more expansive, bigger, more encompassing. We're not mature at 15 so we can't love the same as when we're older.

6. Does true love really last forever?

I don't know. There is love that last forever but that doesn't mean the two people are still a couple (if we're talking about an adult two person relationship). I love someone -- still -- but we're not together. My way of loving him is different now too, just like I'm different.

7. What defines "falling in love"?

Well, now that is a huge question. "Falling in love" is a state of mind. It's a selfish state of mind too. Everything is about "us", "him" or "her", it's about the feelings we get from that special other, either by us giving to them or their giving to us. The outside world almost doesn't exist, it's as if every song on the radio is speaking just to us, every smile is just ours... and so forth. It's a very high and heady feeling. But it is a finite period. We can't maintain that state of being -- we'd get nothing done in life!

Defining love can't really be done, it's just too big -- I like that too, I don't want to put walls around love. To me it is fluid and ever changing.

 

[Cathleen]

7. What defines "falling in love"?

Ahhh yes. The age old question. I think the simple answer is that love is defined differently by all of us. We each have our ideas of what love is. What it feels like and what it means to us and should mean to others that love us in return. I suspect 'falling in love' means both being in love and being loved at the same time. To feel love for someone (in my definition) is to have a sense they are with us through each day. Throughout each experience whether they are with us physically or not. We hear a song and think of them. We see a book and think of them. We enjoy eating ice cream and think of them. We listen when they talk. We remember things about them because it is important to us. Not just big things like birthdays, but little things too. We use this information to do things for them. Not because we are supposed to or because it is expected. We do things for them because we want to bring joy to their lives. A simple act of kindness or something much more personal. We make personal sacrifices of our own because we want to. To please them is more important than pleasing ourselves (trying hard to keep this discussion serious here ). Could you possible love someone enough to let them go? What if their needs are greater than your own need for love? What if loving you is holding them back from something more fulfilling to them? Perhaps this is the most difficult sacrifice of all.

In all honesty, this scares the daylights out of me.

The blue section is daunting enough but the bold section -- I'm not sure how to express myself on it. My stomach did a flip-flop, it's tight now, as if it's closing in on itself, time to circle the wagons and shut down kind of feeling.

I have learned a lot in the last six or so years, I was willing to look, then to look deeply and the rewards are great and I have absolutely no regret. I have also felt a lot... the energy of emotions can be powerful at times. I have found an analogy that works for me on the concepts of open-ness (sp?), willingness and acceptance.

If you remember the TV show "Get Smart", the opening and closing showed Maxwell Smart walking down a corridor faced with obstacles. There were steel doors, bars, glass, etc., each was different. Some were easier to deal with, some you could see thru and some were very tough. That is what I see when I think about loving... at times not only romantic love but also the love of siblings/family. There are times I need to use reinforcement but I'm finding that I'm not using the right type or maybe using things at the wrong time.

Like Maxwell, I think I have what I need inside to move through the obstacles but accessing those 'keys' if you will is beyond me or at the very least daunting.

I'm not sure I'm cut out for someone to sacrifice anything for me. I know I have no control over any one person but that just ... I don't know what to say... to be that important to someone... YIKES!

 

[midwestyankee]

I guess I'll try my hand at this one, too.

1. Can you fall in love more than once in your lifetime?
Absolutely and it's a fabulous way to rejuvenate your life, though you don't have a lot of control over when it happens.

2. Can you experience true love more than once?
Of course you can. The trick with this question is the notion of "true love" and I have a bone to pick with this idea. What distinguishes true love from romantic (as opposed to familial) love of any other sort? As I understand it, "true love" is the romantic ideal of love with a single meant-to-be person and I reject this idea completely. Since this question is raised again below, I'll expand on this shortly.

3. Can you fall in love with someone who isn't in love with you?
Yes you can. Further, you can remain in love with someone who has stopped loving you. Sometimes this unrequited love is deeply painful and sometimes it's not. If your love comes with the expectation that you will be loved in return, then not being loved will be painful. But if you give love freely and without reservation, then it's possible to enjoy loving someone who does not love you back.

4. Is there only one person who is 'meant to be'?
Absolutely not! As Cate mentioned above, a simple consideration of the probabilities of this make it a completely unreasonable idea. This idea stems from fairy tales and is no more realistic than marrying Prince Charming.

5. Are you ever too young or too old to be in love?
I'll agree with WW on this one (as we often do), for it's definitely possible to be too young for love. Let me clarify that: it's possible to be too young to love well and maturely. It is absolutely not possible to be too old for love. I still remember a story about a woman who grew up in central Illinois. She only started to live the interesting part of her life at 62 when her husband died. After that she learned to climb mountains, fly a plane, and write books. At 102 she married a younger man - of 96 - and they were both happy together for a lovely while.

6. Does true love really last forever?
Again, I have a problem with the limiter of "true" here, but love can definitely last forever. It does, though, often change shape and assume a different place in our lives.

7. What defines "falling in love"?
I think that Cate's answer to this question is spot on and I see no reason to add any confusion. There is a huge difference between the state of falling in love and the action of loving. That's the real difference: one is a state of being and the other is a way of living.

 

[M's girl]

In all honesty, this scares the daylights out of me.

I'm not sure I'm cut out for someone to sacrifice anything for me. I know I have no control over any one person but that just ... I don't know what to say... to be that important to someone... YIKES!

I don't understand how you can feel that strong about what dcraz said. It might work different for you but you seem appalled...

Is it so bad to love someone that much, that you are willing to make some small sacrifices? Because I don't think dcraz meant not thinking of yourself anymore...

It's more like (for me) deciding to go home at a descent time to spend some time with the one I love, or ironing M's shirt because I suspect he has no (or not much) time to do it, or picking up something from a store I know he wants, before he buys it himself, just to surprise him. Of course he can do all those things for himself, he does not need me for that, but that's just the fun: there's someone who cares for you and thinks about you and loves you enough to show it in those ways.

When I'm in town and shopping I see things I think M would like all the time, and sometimes I buy them for him. I like giving presents. I also pay more attention to his needs when he is stressed and worn out... I think that is normal. Of course, this all should come back to you in some way somewhere... it can't be all one-way-traffic all the time...

Is it these things that you don't like too? Or did I read something entirely wrong here?

 

[Cathleen]

I don't understand how you can feel that strong about what dcraz said. It might work different for you but you seem appalled...

Is it so bad to love someone that much, that you are willing to make some small sacrifices? Because I don't think dcraz meant not thinking of yourself anymore...

It's more like (for me) deciding to go home at a descent time to spend some time with the one I love, or ironing M's shirt because I suspect he has no (or not much) time to do it, or picking up something from a store I know he wants, before he buys it himself, just to surprise him. Of course he can do all those things for himself, he does not need me for that, but that's just the fun: there's someone who cares for you and thinks about you and loves you enough to show it in those ways.

When I'm in town and shopping I see things I think M would like all the time, and sometimes I buy them for him. I like giving presents. I also pay more attention to his needs when he is stressed and worn out... I think that is normal. Of course, this all should come back to you in some way somewhere... it can't be all one-way-traffic all the time...

Is it these things that you don't like too? Or did I read something entirely wrong here?

Unfortunately, yes M's girl, you did read it wrong. It is not in the giving, it is the return that scares me. I give love very well, I am lousy at receiving it. There are even times I have trouble receiving friendship love. It's not in the giving at all, it's the receiving. Certainly it is a sad and humongous ability to lack.

 

[M's girl]

Unfortunately, yes M's girl, you did read it wrong. It is not in the giving, it is the return that scares me. I give love very well, I am lousy at receiving it. There are even times I have trouble receiving friendship love. It's not in the giving at all, it's the receiving. Certainly it is a sad and humongous ability to lack.

Sorry for that Cathleen. But what is so scary about that, especially if you can give it? I could imagine the other way around, that people know how to receive but not know how to give.
Me? I can never get enough love and attention, but then again, I give a lot too.