Degradation & Humiliation

[monster666]

Re: Master knows

This sounds too much like the evil emperor lecturing about the merits of trusting in the dark side of the force to me. Maybe I am a bit too jaded, but I don't think anyone knows anything about what someone else needs BEFORE they do with certainty "99.9% of the time". And how on earth would communication like that work? Must be some kind of special space-time-brainwave continuum issues at work here.

And if I am wrong and it works because of communication, then my God, hats off to the "true" Dom/Masters, who must at least also be fortune telling, clairvoyant mindreader types. They must be WAY better than the fake ones who care enough to actually sound out a sub's feelings about a thing beforehand. After all, why consider a sub's feelings at all if one is in the presence of a "true" master.

Sorry, but humiliation better be a side issue as a result of some more plausible thrill for my Domme before I'll bite. And it had better be discussed at length beforehand. Otherwise, it's a sure bet it's not going to be a pleasant day for either of us.

Some subs may feel differently, and I guess that's fine for them.

A true Dom/Master knows 99.9% of the time what his sub needs and thus through her "degradation" or "humiliation" both can receive pleasure or what I sometimes say a "secret chill" that can run through a person's body. Many times a Master will know what his sub needs before she does. How is this possible??? Through communication and trust which is key in ANY relationship.

 

[Richard49]

Thank you

Here's another article on the subject, Cherry.

http://www.adarkwhisper.com/general/humiliation.html

Thank you
this was/is a good article

 

[P. B. Walker]

I do not mind some mild forms of degradation and humilation. I get off more giving it to a sub that receiving it from a domme.


PBW

 

[taskmaster]

enjoying the humilation, and degradation by both.

the limits are to be set, but the pleasure is in the pushing.

not knowing what the sub wants is the surprise. how much she

will give willingly. the sharing of forbidden fruit.

ah domination

 

[artful]

In the beginning,...

...a Dom/me never *knows*,...but as one gains experience in handling subs,...there are some automatics, that a Dom/me can read quite well.

Call it body language, call it anything you want,...they are there. Sometimes a Dom/me can make many hits before there are any misses.

As the relationship acquires longevity, with observance, communication, etc., sometimes it does appear to be clairvoyant,...even mystical, but is only a sign of one who is most attentive to a subs psyche.

I have said it before,...I will say it again. BDSM is nothing more, nor less, than an issue of submission and Dominance.

A Dom/me may or may not have sadistical impulses,...a Dom/me will always want to *control* one or more aspects of a subs life,...for a certain length of time, whether it be for a brief 5 minute scene,...or lifelong.

(JMHO,...but it's mine,...and I own it)

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Time to ...

cross MissT's eyes again ...

 

[ownedsubgal]

many/most here seem to be focused on humiliation or degradation as being possible sexual turn-ons. but when i read the original post, asking how either degradation or humiliation could be beneficial to a submissive, within a loving D/s union, i thought immediately of deeper, truer benefits. things like growth, like a greater knowledge of self, like discipline, like humility.

when my Master subjects me to humiliation, or degrades me (two diff things), the purpose is to remind me of my place and purpose in the world as a slave, as total property. or my purpose as a servant to all, whatever that may entail. it knocks me down a peg or two, prevents me from getting up on a high horse, which can happen when one knows one is immensely loved, cherished and needed. a good dose of degradation will quickly put me in the proper frame of mind and remind me that although i am loved, i am still beneath him, beneath all.

 

[s'lara]

many/most here seem to be focused on humiliation or degradation as being possible sexual turn-ons. but when i read the original post, asking how either degradation or humiliation could be beneficial to a submissive, within a loving D/s union, i thought immediately of deeper, truer benefits. things like growth, like a greater knowledge of self, like discipline, like humility.

when my Master subjects me to humiliation, or degrades me (two diff things), the purpose is to remind me of my place and purpose in the world as a slave, as total property. or my purpose as a servant to all, whatever that may entail. it knocks me down a peg or two, prevents me from getting up on a high horse, which can happen when one knows one is immensely loved, cherished and needed. a good dose of degradation will quickly put me in the proper frame of mind and remind me that although i am loved, i am still beneath him, beneath all.

Well, there are natural reactions to certain types of treatment that are involuntary. Slap sub-a across the face and she's humiliated and contrite. Slap sub-b across the face and she's wet, turned on and ready to be slapped again.

i agree that the purpose behind degradation and humiliation are multi-layered and depend greatly on the message the Dominant is trying to get across to the submissive. i also agree that these tools can be used to reinforce a submissive's place and remove growing arrogance or unsuitable behavior (e.g., cockiness, egotism, etc.).

That said, it would be necessary to be creative in how these methods are enacted if the submissive finds eroticism in humilation and degradation. Same as with a masochist. It would be tough to use corporal punishment if the masochist enjoys it.

While it may be necessary to employ humiliation and degradation to remind one of their place, the erotic results aren't necessarily a bad thing. Just another facet of the tools.

lara

 

[Richard49]

While it may be necessary to employ humiliation and degradation to remind one of their place, the erotic results aren't necessarily a bad thing. Just another facet of the tools.

lara

Good points

 

[barcaboy]

What a fascinating, vision-blurring discussion this has been.

Though primarily a Dom, I started out years ago as a sub, and still give it up to my sub side now and then. I find undergoing various forms of humiliation/degradation therapeutic, as cleansing and healing as pain (and a lot more wholesome and nourishing than ingesting drugs or talking about myself).

I have asked myself why that is.

For one, being humbled by a woman in her Goddess guise reminds me of my own limitations and the daunting yet soothing power of the unleashed primal feminine, a healthy heads-up for a Dom who is also a business exec who primarily manages women.

It reassures me of my own strength, too. I can become oversensitive to interpersonal friction and social pressures, and undergoing something "humiliating", something "beneath me", and surviving - seeing it's no big deal, even enjoyable, and that I can be embraced even while revealing vulnerabilities and weaknesses - lays a lot of senseless fear to rest.

And then there's that thrill of uncertainty - what will she make me do next? - that does, always, walk the line of previously set limits of pain and practice, and now and then skirts over.

But if it didn't, and all remained forever safe and secure, I'm not sure but the quality of the thrill (and the effectiveness of the therapy) would suffer, as well.

As a Dom, I prefer concocting a theatre of sensation to scenarios degrading or humiliating (anything distancing to me undercuts the mutuality and intimacy of the pleasure). But I sometimes face a dilemma: what if a sub wants me to do something that I don't particularly find erotic, either as a Dom or a sub, but that is clearly charged for her? This might be some heavy form of humiliation or degradation, or very intense corporal, or age play. Generally, I'll do it, because I'm compassionate in a primarily selfish way - her delight feeds mine, and the deepest power to me is in dispensing pleasure in all its kinky ways.

But there have admittedly been times when I've take people to places, places they insisted on going - where the real point of the exercise was not any kind of obvious pleasure, but something closer to a catharsis or an exorcism. And it's been a pretty scary situation. I draw on all my resources to try to understand what this person wants, what life path brought them to the place where this is what they require in some stark existential way. I do my best not to hold back, or judge. And trust - blindly? - that I've helped them one small step on their journey, as others have helped me on mine.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

All I can say to that post, barcaboy, is Wow. And bump it back up.

(Can't resist a small snicker of identification at, 'and a lot more wholesome and nourishing than ingesting drugs or talking about myself,' as i seem to have 'xchanged the long-ago former for the latter.)

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[Netzach]

I do it because it turns me on. I happen to have gone after H because it turns him on, which in turn, turns me on MORE, which also gives me the opportunity to point out that he's a sick fuck for liking this kind of treatment, which turns him on more....you get the point.

Then I laugh at him when he wants to get off and send him home frustrated and I feel great and he feels greater.

Different drummers I guess.

 

[omniavincet]

I do it because it turns me on. I happen to have gone after H because it turns him on, which in turn, turns me on MORE, which also gives me the opportunity to point out that he's a sick fuck for liking this kind of treatment, which turns him on more....you get the point.

Then I laugh at him when he wants to get off and send him home frustrated and I feel great and he feels greater.

Different drummers I guess.

This sounds so damn familiar. Thank the powers that be for the drummers who get turned on when sick fucks like us get turned on.

 

[sublezsue]

Lesbian submissive

In my world (lesbian domme/submissive), public humiliation is more common than outsiders would suppose. You can go to certain women's bars here in Florida and see a submissive being publicly humiliated and degraded, verbally, and often sexually.

Some submissives go there specifically looking for it. Others go with their domme to be put on display and used. I've been there and know all about it.

sue

 

[omniavincet]

In my world (lesbian domme/submissive), public humiliation is more common than outsiders would suppose. You can go to certain women's bars here in Florida and see a submissive being publicly humiliated and degraded, verbally, and often sexually.

Some submissives go there specifically looking for it. Others go with their domme to be put on display and used. I've been there and know all about it.

I wish I could spend more time in bars like that!