Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

[JustSkye]

I'm sure quoll will be fine. What about hydrex withdrawl?

But you're 'here', sweety. He is not. Hence my worrying. He's usually here every day.

 

[MercyMia]

Bumping one of the more useful threads on Lit...

 

[south_florida_bicur]

im back

i havent posted in this thread for a long time.

for those who know me know i've been seeing a therapist which has been helping.

just wanted to stop by and say hi

 

[MercyMia]

Lots of things can make us feel depressed or anxious. It's important to recognize triggers so we can have some degree of control over what makes us react.

When I feel myself tensing up or having palpitations or getting hives or getting a headache (or any of the other myriad symptoms I get when I'm crossing over into a physical reaction), I slow down and ask myself what's going on to make me go into tail spin. It doesn't mean I have to stop living, but just take one or two minutes to take care of myself. I mean...we usually take the time to ask a friend or co-worker if they're feeling okay when we observe them looking pale or scared or tired. We should do the same for ourselves at the very least. As one friend taught me long ago, we should honor ourselves with the same love and attention we accord to other people.

Peace and happiness to each of us on this thread.

 

[Quoll]

*sigh*

So I've been on a little boating holiday, happily paddling in denial,(that's a joke by the way ) but I guess the ride is over for now.

I was going to say I've had a truly shitty three weeks, but if I look at it in relation to what my life used to be then I have just been down and very flat. (but it was still shitty) I suppose it's to be expected as there are a lot of stressful things happening at the moment, so withdrawing is another defence mechanism, but it is also a pain in the arse because then your mind starts to wander and we play the blame game.
You know how it goes, first you blame everybody else for putting you in this situation, then you really start getting picky about everything they have or haven't done. Of course you have the other dialogue going on in the back of your mind that you are being totally unfair and that you are simply overreacting to a stressful situation.
Now this is the bit where it gets really good, because you realise you are being unfair, and whose fault is that, why lil' ol' me of course. So we are still playing the blame game, but now we have managed to turn it back onto ourselves which of course brings about guilt and of course anger at ourselves for having these thoughts in the first place.
This is a really hard pattern to get out of, I did at least manage to keep my mouth shut and not voice my nasty thoughts, so I think that is one point for me, although it is damned hard to keep those thoughts in your head.
The other problem that crops up with all these thoughts is that somewhere in there, there are legitimate complaints and concerns but how do you separate them from all the other crap and will you be listened to anyway, or will it simply be put down to another one of your angry outbursts. That is part of the reason I try and keep my mouth shut so that at some point I will be able to calmly and rationally get my point across.
How to sort the crap from the real thoughts, that's a tough one, but I try and try bloody hard to apply logic and leave emotion out of it. I ask myself questions about these thoughts over and over again:
Does this person normally behave like that?
Would they really want to do anything against me?
Is it really gong to affect me that much? etc etc hopefully if I do this long enough it filters out most if not all of the irrational thoughts.

Minor update on the Self Safe Hypnosis technique I posted awhile ago, I used it a few times even though I didn't really think a lot of it and yeah it has helped some, although true to form I have modified it to suit me.
When I feel stressed or an anxiety attack coming on, I don't necessarily start running through all the things on the list, but I do stop and just look around and listen, it always amazes me how much we do not see or hear when we are so self involved, and it is just a little break which helps bring me back to reality.

Mia thanks for the "bump", in more ways than one.

SFB, great to see you back and very pleased to hear that the therapy is helping.

*pause*

Yep writing really does help ya know.

 

[Ibsen]

I finally told the kurd girl I am in love with her. Via sms though, but still... Dont knwo if she read it, but I havent heard anything from her since monday.

 

[hydrex]

So I've been on a little boating holiday, happily paddling in denial,(that's a joke by the way ) but I guess the ride is over for now.

I was going to say I've had a truly shitty three weeks, but if I look at it in relation to what my life used to be then I have just been down and very flat. (but it was still shitty) I suppose it's to be expected as there are a lot of stressful things happening at the moment, so withdrawing is another defence mechanism, but it is also a pain in the arse because then your mind starts to wander and we play the blame game.
You know how it goes, first you blame everybody else for putting you in this situation, then you really start getting picky about everything they have or haven't done. Of course you have the other dialogue going on in the back of your mind that you are being totally unfair and that you are simply overreacting to a stressful situation.
Now this is the bit where it gets really good, because you realise you are being unfair, and whose fault is that, why lil' ol' me of course. So we are still playing the blame game, but now we have managed to turn it back onto ourselves which of course brings about guilt and of course anger at ourselves for having these thoughts in the first place.
This is a really hard pattern to get out of, I did at least manage to keep my mouth shut and not voice my nasty thoughts, so I think that is one point for me, although it is damned hard to keep those thoughts in your head.
The other problem that crops up with all these thoughts is that somewhere in there, there are legitimate complaints and concerns but how do you separate them from all the other crap and will you be listened to anyway, or will it simply be put down to another one of your angry outbursts. That is part of the reason I try and keep my mouth shut so that at some point I will be able to calmly and rationally get my point across.
How to sort the crap from the real thoughts, that's a tough one, but I try and try bloody hard to apply logic and leave emotion out of it. I ask myself questions about these thoughts over and over again:
Does this person normally behave like that?
Would they really want to do anything against me?
Is it really gong to affect me that much? etc etc hopefully if I do this long enough it filters out most if not all of the irrational thoughts.

Minor update on the Self Safe Hypnosis technique I posted awhile ago, I used it a few times even though I didn't really think a lot of it and yeah it has helped some, although true to form I have modified it to suit me.
When I feel stressed or an anxiety attack coming on, I don't necessarily start running through all the things on the list, but I do stop and just look around and listen, it always amazes me how much we do not see or hear when we are so self involved, and it is just a little break which helps bring me back to reality.

Mia thanks for the "bump", in more ways than one.

SFB, great to see you back and very pleased to hear that the therapy is helping.

*pause*

Yep writing really does help ya know.

Glad to see you're back and doing ok. I usually skip blaming others and jump right to myself. I'd like to hear more about this self hypnosis you speak of, I think I might like to try it.

Of course you know Skye has worried about you. She was asking where the heck you went.

 

[Quoll]

Glad to see you're back and doing ok. I usually skip blaming others and jump right to myself. I'd like to hear more about this self hypnosis you speak of, I think I might like to try it.

Of course you know Skye has worried about you. She was asking where the heck you went.

Thanks Hydrex, it's fun the blame game isn't it.

You mean you haven't read the whole thread

Aah dear sweet Skye, now there is a worrier alright, but it's cool she knows where I am.

The self hypnosis was given to me by my anxiety counsellor and yes it does seem to help.

Self-Safe Hypnosis

This technique can help you to take your mind off your thoughts, and it also makes you aware of things in your environment which can help your body to calm down and make you realise you are safe.
you don`t have to close your eyes to do this. The more you practise it , the better you will get.


How do I do it?

Say 5 things you can SEE around you

Say 5 things you can HEAR around you

Say 5 things you can FEEL touching the outside of your body


Say 4 things you can SEE around you

Say 4 things you can HEAR around you

Say 4 things you can FEEL touching the outside of your body


Say 3 things you can SEE around you

Say 3 things you can HEAR around you

Say 3 things you can FEEL touching the outside of your body


Say 2 things you can SEE around you

Say 2 things you can HEAR around you

Say 2 things you can FEEL touching the outside of your body


Say 1 things you can SEE around you

Say 1 things you can HEAR around you

Say 1 things you can FEEL touching the outside of your body


It doesn`t matter if you get out of order or if you repeat the same thing.
Try saying it out loud (even a whisper), as this can sometimes be more effective.


What do you think?

What happened to the thoughts you were having when you started the exercise?
Did you notice anything happening in your body as you were using the exercise?

I'll also add this bit as well.

Originally Posted by littleroundman
As an addition to my earlier comments in this and other similar threads:

The Australian National University has a team of researchers currently running an excellent program, which includes an online Cognitive Behavioural Therapy self help course which I can strongly recommend, especially for those either unable or afraid to access CBT through regular means.
It can also be seen as an excellent "taste tester" for people currently receiving medication who wish to explore the value of combined drug and CBT therapies.

The course offers a choice between 6 levels, including one for people currently receiving treatment from a health care professional.

It is free, run by professionals and allows participants to participate anonymously in research being run by the university into depression etc.

Visit the site and register at:

http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au

And while you're there, you may want to have a look at their excellent information site which also has some free online tests that measure anxiety and depression levels, for those who are unsure.

http://www.bluepages.anu.edu.au

 

[Quoll]

Psst MIA, check out How To (edit) Cafe

 

[MercyMia]

Psst MIA, check out How Too (edit) Cafe

Psst, quoll, I just did! I feel like I missed my own surprise party! Thank you and VermillionSkye for such sweetness

 

[MercyMia]

So I've been on a little boating holiday, happily paddling in denial,(that's a joke by the way ) but I guess the ride is over for now.

I was going to say I've had a truly shitty three weeks, but if I look at it in relation to what my life used to be then I have just been down and very flat. (but it was still shitty) I suppose it's to be expected as there are a lot of stressful things happening at the moment, so withdrawing is another defence mechanism, but it is also a pain in the arse because then your mind starts to wander and we play the blame game.
You know how it goes, first you blame everybody else for putting you in this situation, then you really start getting picky about everything they have or haven't done. Of course you have the other dialogue going on in the back of your mind that you are being totally unfair and that you are simply overreacting to a stressful situation.
Now this is the bit where it gets really good, because you realise you are being unfair, and whose fault is that, why lil' ol' me of course. So we are still playing the blame game, but now we have managed to turn it back onto ourselves which of course brings about guilt and of course anger at ourselves for having these thoughts in the first place.
This is a really hard pattern to get out of, I did at least manage to keep my mouth shut and not voice my nasty thoughts, so I think that is one point for me, although it is damned hard to keep those thoughts in your head.
The other problem that crops up with all these thoughts is that somewhere in there, there are legitimate complaints and concerns but how do you separate them from all the other crap and will you be listened to anyway, or will it simply be put down to another one of your angry outbursts. That is part of the reason I try and keep my mouth shut so that at some point I will be able to calmly and rationally get my point across.
How to sort the crap from the real thoughts, that's a tough one, but I try and try bloody hard to apply logic and leave emotion out of it. I ask myself questions about these thoughts over and over again:
Does this person normally behave like that?
Would they really want to do anything against me?
Is it really gong to affect me that much? etc etc hopefully if I do this long enough it filters out most if not all of the irrational thoughts.

Minor update on the Self Safe Hypnosis technique I posted awhile ago, I used it a few times even though I didn't really think a lot of it and yeah it has helped some, although true to form I have modified it to suit me.
When I feel stressed or an anxiety attack coming on, I don't necessarily start running through all the things on the list, but I do stop and just look around and listen, it always amazes me how much we do not see or hear when we are so self involved, and it is just a little break which helps bring me back to reality.

Mia thanks for the "bump", in more ways than one.

SFB, great to see you back and very pleased to hear that the therapy is helping.

*pause*

Yep writing really does help ya know.

I hear you, quoll. The blame game is dark and dangerous and complex. I keep a note on my computer--Action is the antidote to despair.

I'd edit that to say "Action is an antidote to despair." It's one of many, I suppose.

I've used your coping mechanism several times over the past couple of months and find it effective in various forms. Even in the smallest of doses, just stopping and taking stock of where I am physically helps get me grounded closer to reality and out of my downward spiraling.

The other day, I had a huge panic attack over a strange incident that happened online. My SO had opened a Yahoo! account and set it up on my computer in such a way that it logs on every time I boot up my system. Well, someone IMed him and asked some vaguely affectionate questions. I immediately panicked and thought, oh God, my SO's got an online lover. The person tried to get me to tell who I was and how I got to use that ID. We agreed to logoff and not chat anymore because neither of us wanted to reveal our identities. I was close to tears, quick, shallow breaths, heart beating rapidly, skin on fire (my usual panic symptoms). I could barely think straight. I got up and walked around, trying to calm myself, get my bearings again. But the biggest thought and feeling I was aware of was that for sure now my SO was going to leave me for this other person who IMed.

Lord, what a mess I was. SO was on a business trip so I thought I'd wait to ask him about it when he got home. Bringing up that kind of topic on the phone usually escalates things into high conflict territory rather than constructively resolving things.

He happened to call me the next morning just to say hi and how's it going and one topic led to another...and I found out that he was the one who was IMing his own Yahoo ID. He was surprised to see himself online. He'd recently figured out how to set up Yahoo IDs and had forgotten his password to the first one so had set up a second (more generic-named) one.

I know this boils down to trust issues between him and me. While I still have some lingering suspicions about why he needs more than one Yahoo ID...well, I do feel reassured that he's exploring and curious but not the other extreme...

Panic makes me jump to the worst conclusions instantly, without the brakes of logic and reason. Panic takes over my body and mind and consequently, I act out on my fears.

In my calmer moments, I try to teach myself that I can trust this man with so much. My God, I sleep next to him at night. We hold each other, we look into each other's souls. I know he's not perfect. Neither am I. But we have a lot of common ground and strengths between us. I need to focus on those. That doesn't mean to turn a blind eye on his and my weaknesses either. But I also will not (or at least I'll die trying not to) concentrate solely on the nitpicky issues to the point of obsession.

It's so hard. But life is so worthwhile that I want to be better and do better.

Whew...thanks, quoll, for sharing and letting us share, too.

 

[Ibsen]

Got a sms back fropm her some days ago. The usual story that she just wanted to be frinds, wich, actually, is ok with me.

I have no faith for the social serivce anymore. It was weeks ago since they should have called me. So I say screw this and will try to cope the few months left in school, and as soon as I get a job, I am out of this hole! Starting to think on becoming a firefighter. How long it will hold, well, I dunno...

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Quoll]

Scalywag, welcome aboard, you read the whole thread! sounds to me like your wife is very lucky to have you there beside her. I have to leave for work now but I will reply when I can. Thanks for posting, and I hope we can all learn from each other.

 

[Guest]

 

[Quoll]

Thanks for the compliment Quoll, but I'm not perfect either, and she has a lot of positive qualities too.

One of the things I am wondering is if anyone that posts here has restless leg syndrome? My wife has it, it has something to do with the nervous system (I don't know how it may relate to anxiety). But if she doesn't take meds for it every night, usually her legs will start moving and twitching involuntarily, even when she is asleep. I've seen her lying on her side asleep, with her feet moving like she was running in place (and I mean fast too.)

Just curious if anyone else has had a similar experience.

Take care,
N

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=356434&highlight=restless+leg+syndrome

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=225483&highlight=restless+leg+syndrome

https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=4113997&postcount=1060

None of us are perfect, but a willingness to understand goes a long way to making us feel valued.

Here are a few threads dealing with restless legs syndrome scattered around lit. If you feel you need more info either bump one of those threads or start your own, oh don't forget to have a look in the blank manual, not sure if there is anything there, but it covers many diverse topics so it is worth a look.

 

[JustSkye]

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=356434&highlight=restless+leg+syndrome

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=225483&highlight=restless+leg+syndrome

https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=4113997&postcount=1060

None of us are perfect, but a willingness to understand goes a long way to making us feel valued.

Here are a few threads dealing with restless legs syndrome scattered around lit. If you feel you need more info either bump one of those threads or start your own, oh don't forget to have a look in the blank manual, not sure if there is anything there, but it covers many diverse topics so it is worth a look.

you're just wonderful.

 

[hydrex]

Thanks Hydrex, it's fun the blame game isn't it.

You mean you haven't read the whole thread

Aah dear sweet Skye, now there is a worrier alright, but it's cool she knows where I am.

The self hypnosis was given to me by my anxiety counsellor and yes it does seem to help.





I'll also add this bit as well.

Thanks Quoll. I have added the site to my favs and will check it out more thouroughly when I can. Dial up would take me forever to read this entire thread so until I get back to dsl I won't be reading more than a couple pages. Havent tried the hypno thing yet but I'll do it soon and get back to you. Thanks again for the help.

 

[Quoll]

you're just wonderful.

*Blushing* Hi beautiful.

 

[Quoll]

Thanks Quoll. I have added the site to my favs and will check it out more thouroughly when I can. Dial up would take me forever to read this entire thread so until I get back to dsl I won't be reading more than a couple pages. Havent tried the hypno thing yet but I'll do it soon and get back to you. Thanks again for the help.

No problems Hydrex, and was sort of kidding about reading the whole thread, I forget how large it has gotten sometimes *astounded*. Looking forward to hearing how things work out for you with those techniques too.

 

[kiba]

I know i am at the tail end of this thread and i havent really posted here before.(threads move too fast for me)I started viewing this site because it was summer and i had a lot of down time(im a teacher) If you have anxiety or ocd you understand what non scheduled time can lead to. I was a police officer and i was injured in a shooting causing me to have Ptsd also. I have been on that suicidal low and spent 5 years in rehab for physical (im ok now actually teach conditioning classes) and brain injury issues. i have frontal lobe damage which means little or no short term memory. (ther are parts of my life i dont remember) I will not divulge into details if you want to know more you can pm me. The point i am trying to make is you are not alone in some ways people with disorders that they are aware of and are dealing with them are better off, talk dont be afraid, and trust yourself. I have been involved in martial arts before my injury (for about 25 years) and i truly believe breathing exercises will help. Thanks for the thread ill go back to lurking hang in there.

 

[Quoll]

I know i am at the tail end of this thread and i havent really posted here before.(threads move too fast for me)I started viewing this site because it was summer and i had a lot of down time(im a teacher) If you have anxiety or ocd you understand what non scheduled time can lead to. I was a police officer and i was injured in a shooting causing me to have Ptsd also. I have been on that suicidal low and spent 5 years in rehab for physical (im ok now actually teach conditioning classes) and brain injury issues. i have frontal lobe damage which means little or no short term memory. (ther are parts of my life i dont remember) I will not divulge into details if you want to know more you can pm me. The point i am trying to make is you are not alone in some ways people with disorders that they are aware of and are dealing with them are better off, talk dont be afraid, and trust yourself. I have been involved in martial arts before my injury (for about 25 years) and i truly believe breathing exercises will help. Thanks for the thread ill go back to lurking hang in there.

kiba, thanks for posting. I agree with you about being better off knowing that we have a problem, it at least gives us some measure of control instead of just totally losing it because we have no idea what is going on.
My anxiety counsellor taught me one particular breathing strategy. Basically you tense up your whole body (either by piushing the palms of your hands together or against something, or even pushing your feet into the floor) take a slow breath in and then release it slowly while letting your body relax. To read it here, it just doesn't make sense how that can do anything, but it just seems to give you a little break from some of the stress. Feel free to delurk anytime you want.

 

[kiba]

i think the whole breathing concept is used to take the mind somewhere else. it is used in martial arts to deal with pain and with anxiety helps the brain to slow down my mind races and it brings me back.

 

[australwind]

Just thought I would pop in for a warm hug for you Quoll...I know I haven't been around for a while...but you are never far from my thoughts.