Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

[Fflow]

We've had a tree for a week, and nobody seems to be interested in decorating it.

 

[we_reach_for_stars]

Hey everyone.

So, yeah. I have been battling depression since I was a little kid according to my parents. It was diagnosed by the time I was 4 and I have been on antidepressants since I was 7. My parents shuffled me from one psychiatrist to the next, which was started after one considered sending me to the local children's hospital for supervision.

Every day I try to keep my head above the water. I don't want to drown again.

 

[dean6741]

Hey everybody. I'm glad that I found this thread........I'm glad that I'm not alone dealing with this.

I've been battling depression for as long as I can remember. But the worst of it started about 25 years ago, when I was diagnosed with cancer. The chemotherapy screwed up a lot of things, including my emotional state.

My depression has wrecked 2 marriages, countless relationships and a few jobs.

Some days I feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but some days I feel like there's a train bearing down on me.

If it wasn't for my dog, I doubt I'd still be here........sounds pathetic, right? But the needy thing seems to sense when I need his attention.

I can't afford the med's I've been prescribed........hell, I can't even afford to go to the doctor anymore, not that the medication helped any....one of them made me constantly angry and ready to snap.

There hasn't been a day lately that I don't shed a tear, or worse.

Thanks for listening.

 

[we_reach_for_stars]

Hey everybody. I'm glad that I found this thread........I'm glad that I'm not alone dealing with this.

I've been battling depression for as long as I can remember. But the worst of it started about 25 years ago, when I was diagnosed with cancer. The chemotherapy screwed up a lot of things, including my emotional state.

My depression has wrecked 2 marriages, countless relationships and a few jobs.

Some days I feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but some days I feel like there's a train bearing down on me.

If it wasn't for my dog, I doubt I'd still be here........sounds pathetic, right? But the needy thing seems to sense when I need his attention.

I can't afford the med's I've been prescribed........hell, I can't even afford to go to the doctor anymore, not that the medication helped any....one of them made me constantly angry and ready to snap.

There hasn't been a day lately that I don't shed a tear, or worse.

Thanks for listening.

What did your doctor try with you? Was it Prozac or Zoloft? Those are the two I've been on and I've noticed Zoloft made me feel a little bit like i was PMSing all the time. I've been working through that and I know it sucks.

Unconditional attention from a dog helps too. I know that my family's dog is always there waiting to jump up on the couch and demand my attention when I go home. It's so cute.

 

[operaBaritone]

Hello all,

I am bipolar, I suffer from anxiety attacks/panic attacks, have a rather mild case of OCD, I have Tourette's Syndrome, and some very strange physical issues related (they think) to the bipolar that are handled by antipsychotics.

I have been on the following drugs and can tell people about them if they are interested or talk about my illness if they are interested or help them with concerns about their own illness if interested. I also know a good chat site for the mentally ill, though I will only give this through PM.

Anyway, the drugs

Effexor
Wellbutrin
Trileptal
Lamictal
Provigil
Risperidal
Haldol
Congentin
Abilify
Geodon
Trazadone
Ambien
Rozarem
Xanax
Ativan
Seroquel

and probably some others that I'm forgetting at the moment.

Anyway, I offer myself as a most assuredly nonprofessional but empathetic resource, and hope to help anyone who feels they need it.

Cheers!
Za

 

[we_reach_for_stars]

Hello all,

I am bipolar, I suffer from anxiety attacks/panic attacks, have a rather mild case of OCD, I have Tourette's Syndrome, and some very strange physical issues related (they think) to the bipolar that are handled by antipsychotics.

I have been on the following drugs and can tell people about them if they are interested or talk about my illness if they are interested or help them with concerns about their own illness if interested. I also know a good chat site for the mentally ill, though I will only give this through PM.

Anyway, the drugs

Effexor
Wellbutrin
Trileptal
Lamictal
Provigil
Risperidal
Haldol
Congentin
Abilify
Geodon
Trazadone
Ambien
Rozarem
Xanax
Ativan
Seroquel

and probably some others that I'm forgetting at the moment.

Anyway, I offer myself as a most assuredly nonprofessional but empathetic resource, and hope to help anyone who feels they need it.

Cheers!
Za

How was Effexor for you, if you don't mind me asking? My younger sister is on that currently for IBS and depression. Did you have noticeable side effects that you could pin point to that drug or no? I know your reason for taking it would be different but side effects like increased susceptibility for stomach ulcers seem to be common with antidepressants.

 

[operaBaritone]

I have not experienced stomach ulcers, but I have never had them before, and hence would probably be less likely to experience them in general. Also, I'm 22, which, for most people, is quite young for ulcers to develop.

Effexor has honestly been the most effective drug I've been on for depressive episodes, though I have heard people who have had less potent experiences.

So, no, no side effects that I can pin point

 

[we_reach_for_stars]

I'm 21 and have had issues with Prozac irritating my stomach lining. Its better now that I switched to Zoloft. Dunno why, but my doctor says sometimes people who have trouble with one antidepressant do better on another, even though irritating the stomach is one of the leading side effects for all antidepressants, which is so unfair. I'm just thankful Zoloft doesn't bother my stomach like the Prozac did.

I was wondering about your experience with the drug since I've never been on Effexor and I believe it is in the same family of drugs as Zoloft, Prozac, and Paxil. Maybe I'm wrong though.

 

[operaBaritone]

No, they're actually not in the same family (I had to check wikipedia to figure that out though )

Effexor is an SNRI

the other three are SSRI's

the problem with SNRI's or at least Effexor, is that withdrawal symptoms can be EXTREMELY severe. (again, can be, not necessarily are)

I'm also on an NDRI, Wellbutrin, which is another different family from the SSRIs.

Unfortunately much more is known about SSRI's then SNRI's because they've been on the market longer and have been in more clinical tests.

 

[dean6741]

What did your doctor try with you? Was it Prozac or Zoloft? Those are the two I've been on and I've noticed Zoloft made me feel a little bit like i was PMSing all the time. I've been working through that and I know it sucks.

Unconditional attention from a dog helps too. I know that my family's dog is always there waiting to jump up on the couch and demand my attention when I go home. It's so cute.

I was on Prozac until my doctor found out I was taking four days worth in one day just to get through the day and freaked out; he said something about me nearly turning homicidal or something like that.

Welbutrin made me unbearable to where my roommate called my doctor threatening to sue him if I wasn't put on something else.

Cymbalta is the only one that really worked, but at $180 a month I couldn't afford it.

Then my doctor died and without health insurance I can't find a doctor who will take me.

Life sucks, but my family and my dog have helped a lot.

 

[operaBaritone]

I was on Prozac until my doctor found out I was taking four days worth in one day just to get through the day and freaked out; he said something about me nearly turning homicidal or something like that.

Wow... ya I would freak out too. Overdosing on these kind of medications is EXTREMELY dangerous, or at least can be, and going over therapeutic dose WILL NOT make things better. I'm not flaming you, I'm just trying to make clear that this is very important. I have never heard of the homicidal issue, but if you muck around with serotonin levels to that degree... it might be possible.

Welbutrin made me unbearable to where my roommate called my doctor threatening to sue him if I wasn't put on something else.

I didn't have this experience... but these kind of meds produce very different reactions in different people.

Cymbalta is the only one that really worked, but at $180 a month I couldn't afford it.

Unfortunately most of these drugs are extremely expensive, though hopefully the prices will be dropping when they are allowed to be produced generically. I've heard that a lot of meds are coming up on that now.

Then my doctor died and without health insurance I can't find a doctor who will take me.

Ugh... ya... lack of health insurance is a real problem.

Life sucks, but my family and my dog have helped a lot.

Good that something is helping

 

[we_reach_for_stars]

Thanks for wiki-ing that, Baritone

I'm glad it's not in the same family for your sake if you still take it and for my sister's sake.

I know what you mean with the expense of brand drugs. 30 days worth of Concerta cost around $90 for me. I am extremely grateful that my parents are helping me out until I finish my undergrad studies.

 

[dean6741]

Wow... ya I would freak out too. Overdosing on these kind of medications is EXTREMELY dangerous, or at least can be, and going over therapeutic dose WILL NOT make things better. I'm not flaming you, I'm just trying to make clear that this is very important. I have never heard of the homicidal issue, but if you muck around with serotonin levels to that degree... it might be possible.

Interesting thing happened while I was on Prozac. I was working on my truck in the driveway one evening. My second wife was on the porch watching and talking to me. The wrench i was using slipped and I cut my hand open. I lost it and sent a 5 pound hammer through the windshield. My wife got up, went into the house and locked herself into the bedroom. When she came out, I was sitting on the edge of the porch with my head in my hands, having scared myself half to death. She sat down next to me and said, "We're getting you off that Prozac NOW."



Unfortunately most of these drugs are extremely expensive, though hopefully the prices will be dropping when they are allowed to be produced generically. I've heard that a lot of meds are coming up on that now.

I've been checking around and there is supposed to be a generic for Cymbalta coming out soon.....now to find a doctor!!



Ugh... ya... lack of health insurance is a real problem.
Tell me about it. Can't wait until July, when I qualify for coverage.



Good that something is helping

If it wasn't for the dog, I probably be in bed for DAYS. Between him and Mari and Dee(my roommates and the only family I trust), they do their best to keep me going.

Keep your chins up, everybody. There's help for all of us.
Dean

 

[JustSkye]

bumping for a friend

 

[likes2watchU]

Checking in to see how everyone is doing... I hope the lack of posts indicates that folks have soldiered their way through the winter and are just too dang busy with the beauty of spring to stop here right now.

 

[Amonara]

I have SAD and I just went off my meds for the Spring.

Except Spring seems to be taking its time getting here.

I am adjusting to the no meds. Had one day where I was completely enraged at everything and anybody, but seem to be doing better.

I am having some issues keep my mind from swirling to all sorts of thoughts and spent the morning crying. However, overall I think I am doing pretty well.

It is a decent day, so I am going to try and keep myself active by getting outside and playing in my garden.

 

[Fflow]

Cymbalta is the only one that really worked, but at $180 a month I couldn't afford it.

Quite often, drug manufacturers have programs that provide low cost, or no cost, meds to people who need them. For Cymbalta, check out LillyCares.

 

[jnibroc88]

I was just about to make my own thread for people dealing with struggles. I am tapering off Kolonopin right now. Doing really well, but here to help anybody down.

 

[redgiantuk]

I'm going to a councellor for the first time tomorrow morning.
I was recommended by my doctor who thinks I'm 'unhappy', well that made me depressed!

I think I get down about my failings, so hopefully that will be a good outcome from the sessions. I'm not holding out much hope though. I don't know what to expect so I will reserve judgement

 

[jnibroc88]

I'm going to a councellor for the first time tomorrow morning.
I was recommended by my doctor who thinks I'm 'unhappy', well that made me depressed!

I think I get down about my failings, so hopefully that will be a good outcome from the sessions. I'm not holding out much hope though. I don't know what to expect so I will reserve judgement

Go into with an open mind. Good luck.

 

[likes2watchU]

I'm going to a councellor for the first time tomorrow morning.
I was recommended by my doctor who thinks I'm 'unhappy', well that made me depressed!

I think I get down about my failings, so hopefully that will be a good outcome from the sessions. I'm not holding out much hope though. I don't know what to expect so I will reserve judgement

I agree with Corbin... and would add a suggestion (which you may feel free to completely ignore ) - make a list of what you hope to achieve in your sessions - and prioritize the list. This may seem like a daunting task... so keep it simple - top 3 perhaps. Discussing a plan of action with the counselor may help you to feel more in control.

Best of luck and I do hope you feel better!

 

[Quoll]

I'm going to a councellor for the first time tomorrow morning.
I was recommended by my doctor who thinks I'm 'unhappy', well that made me depressed!

I think I get down about my failings, so hopefully that will be a good outcome from the sessions. I'm not holding out much hope though. I don't know what to expect so I will reserve judgement

A good attitude to go in with.
The first step is often the hardest, but most productive, good luck.

 

[Amonara]

I still feel that I am flirting with full on depression. And am wondering if it was not too early to go off my meds.

I am constantly second guessing myself. And hating on myself a bit. And I am beginning to feel worried about my eating habits. I am still far enough away from it that I can see that food equals happiness to me. And indeed carbs are serotonin inducing which is why carb intake increases in the winter months. But I seem to have gotten to a point where I am starting to get it into my head that I do not deserve happiness. Since I cook for those I love, I hardly ever cook for myself. Since food is happiness, my food intake is dropping steadily. I can see that this is NOT a good pattern. But I do not know if I can stop myself.

My partner has started a new job and is often gone. So I do not have anyone to check up on me. And he has made so many new friends that he goes out quite often to party and I am left here alone. I would go along too normally, but I have been very sick for the past month and have to spend my time resting instead of partying. When he is here, I cook for the both of us. But as I am increasingly spending more time alone it is becoming less and less worth it. Ugh.

I feel a little silly getting so down on myself and I have not gotten to a point where I feel my depression spiraling out of control. But I do wish that I did not hate myself so much right now.

I hope no one minds my super long rant. I just needed to get that off my chest.

 

[Fflow]

Amonara,

You're always welcome to share your thoughts and feelings here. I think it important, too, to share them with your partner, and your care givers. These feelings may indeed be a symptom of unmanaged clinical depression, so talking about them may encourage your doctor and partner to help you with them.

I cook for my family nearly every day and, while I'm shopping, cooking, and serving I try to remember that the food is a gift for them, and me. I try to remember that food isn't love, but it can be a way to care for myself. I try to reduce the fast carb foods I have in the house, and keep fresh vegitables around for snacking. It isn't perfect, but it helps.

Please remember that it is ok to ask your partner for help. There may be some sort of compromise the two of you can work out, and help balance the time the two of you share.

Anyway, sorry to be so 'advise-y'. Hang in there!

f(s)

 

[bobsgirl]

I spent a total of about two weeks in the hospital, during two separate hospitalizations, right after Christmas. It feels weak to admit this, but I'm still having a very hard time dealing with it. The physical pain that put me there was so intense, I feel traumatized, in a way, by it. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's the only word I can think of to describe it.

I came home to a hospital bed, and required a couple more weeks of near total bedrest. It took me probably six or seven weeks to get back to my normal routine, whatever the hell that means. It helped a lot to get rid of the hospital bed, but I've since thrown out every single reminder of that time in the hospital (like a hospital gown, and all the various stuff they give you). I can't stand any reminders.

It may not seem like it because I know I goof around here so much, but I feel so... I don't know, hopeless and sad. I got "smacked in the face" with how truly limited my life is. (Real quick backstory to this: I use a wheelchair full time, and have for thirty years or so.) I know I've had trouble convincing family members that I'm capable of being on my own, but now I'm having trouble convincing myself. I resent my slowly increasing lack of independence.

It just feels very hopeless to me. Life's a bitch and then you die, I guess.