Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

[likes2watchU]

just checking in to wish everyone a better today.
now that the rain stopped here and the sun's out... looking forward to getting dressed and heading out on my own (scary but determined and should be fun). am on vacation and have the day to myself... want to break old cycle of staying housebound when i don't have a "partner in crime" for going out into the world.

 

[tearose97]

Good luck and enjoy it, if you can.

 

[likes2watchU]

not the biggest adventure i've had... but my brother called to give me info on the CTA. so - i went out and bought a pass.. then went to one of his favorite places for lunch. on my way back, i got off the bus a bit early and just puttered around some of the shops. i was only out about 3 hours, but it was glorious

i plan to go out again tomorrow... then only hindrance will be the temps and humidity (ack!!) here's hoping the weather staff are full of it

 

[Quoll]

not the biggest adventure i've had... but my brother called to give me info on the CTA. so - i went out and bought a pass.. then went to one of his favorite places for lunch. on my way back, i got off the bus a bit early and just puttered around some of the shops. i was only out about 3 hours, but it was glorious

i plan to go out again tomorrow... then only hindrance will be the temps and humidity (ack!!) here's hoping the weather staff are full of it

Now you be careful out there, it could become a habit, it always amazes me when I actually take time to see what's outside, just how much we miss or just gloss over.
Actually, outside is a great place to do the See, Hear, Feel thing in the Self Hypnosis link I posted earlier. I've done it at home on our property, we've been here 25 years and I saw so much that I had simply not truly seen.

Enjoy your time off.

 

[Phaedre]

Am having a stressful time right now and my flashbacks have started to get in the way again.

 

[LoAndBeholdGuy]

I'm sure that there is wonderful information in this thread, but I haven't read it. I just know that I am also a sufferer, and there was a time in my life that the tunnel was so deep and dark, I was completely horrified. If what I can say helps even one person who feels that (or anybody, PERIOD), then it's worth it to me. I'll probably repeat some things that have already been said, but I'll just share what have been the most important and helpful things to me. I'm no doctor or expert, but I've lived this.

There's a book called "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weekes that I will always treasure. I've always been a "fighter" and thought I'd somehow fight my way through it all, but I was wrong. I learned in this that when you feel a panic attack coming on, do NOT fight it. The more you fight it, the more adrenaline you release, and too much adrenaline causes them in the first place. I had to learn to accept the fact I was feeling those feelings, and trust me, I know how horrible they are. I gradually learned, though, that if I could face those symptoms, accept them, and not feed them with fear (and produce more adrenaline), the attack could not go any further. It sounded too simple when I read it, but it works. Trying to stay in the moment and doing something to distract your mind helps a ton, too.

I have no idea how many therapists I've seen, but I was never told about proper breathing until I saw the one I have now. Knowing how powerful it is, I have no idea how that is possible. Shallow breathing due to stress messes up the proper amount of oxygen and carbon dioxide in our systems. This signals to our brains the "fight or flight" response, so adrenaline starts flowing and you know the rest of the story. When a person breathes correctly, the only thing that rises is the abdominal area. If the chest moves, that's shallow breathing. Watching a baby breathe is a clinic in proper breathing. Inhale slowly through the nose (I like to count to 4), then slowly exhale through the mouth (I like to count to 8). This signals that you're relaxed to the brain. It's not easy at first, and don't worry about perfection. You'll see that it can be magical.

I greatly admire all of you, esp. the person who started the thread. I know that some people think we're "weak," but it's actually the opposite. Feel free to PM me (I'm anything but a know-it-all, so I like advice, too) and remember to take it one breath at a time.

 

[MisterSir]

I'm not sure I'd call myself depressed, but the periods where I'm lying awake in bed at night and wondering what I'm doing wrong are becoming more and more frequent lately. Laugh if you will, and you probably will, but I feel like I'm experiencing a quasi-midlife crisis - I mean, I'm 21 soon, I'm no longer a child, I'm an adult, and I've done so little in my life so far. I'm told I'm not as ugly as I always used to think, and I'm in a place where I can look in the mirror and not be repulsed by what looks back, but emotionally and psychologically I am a mess.

OK, maybe I am a little depressed. I don't know. Just felt like having a miniature vent.

 

[Quoll]

Am having a stressful time right now and my flashbacks have started to get in the way again.

I know this is very late* Phee, (don't ask me, the thought came to me that I must reply to Phee today, so apparently that is my nickname for you now) but I hope you have managed to deal with your stress and are feeling somewhat better, either way you continue to be in my thoughts.






*There's a whole story about in-laws in my house, me hiding with the dust bunnies blah blah, but I hadn't forgotten you.

 

[Quoll]

I'm sure that there is wonderful information in this thread, but I haven't read it. I just know that I am also a sufferer, and there was a time in my life that the tunnel was so deep and dark, I was completely horrified. If what I can say helps even one person who feels that (or anybody, PERIOD), then it's worth it to me. I'll probably repeat some things that have already been said, but I'll just share what have been the most important and helpful things to me. I'm no doctor or expert, but I've lived this.

There's a book called "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weekes that I will always treasure. I've always been a "fighter" and thought I'd somehow fight my way through it all, but I was wrong. I learned in this that when you feel a panic attack coming on, do NOT fight it. The more you fight it, the more adrenaline you release, and too much adrenaline causes them in the first place. I had to learn to accept the fact I was feeling those feelings, and trust me, I know how horrible they are. I gradually learned, though, that if I could face those symptoms, accept them, and not feed them with fear (and produce more adrenaline), the attack could not go any further. It sounded too simple when I read it, but it works. Trying to stay in the moment and doing something to distract your mind helps a ton, too.

I have no idea how many therapists I've seen, but I was never told about proper breathing until I saw the one I have now. Knowing how powerful it is, I have no idea how that is possible. Shallow breathing due to stress messes up the proper amount of oxygen and carbon dioxide in our systems. This signals to our brains the "fight or flight" response, so adrenaline starts flowing and you know the rest of the story. When a person breathes correctly, the only thing that rises is the abdominal area. If the chest moves, that's shallow breathing. Watching a baby breathe is a clinic in proper breathing. Inhale slowly through the nose (I like to count to 4), then slowly exhale through the mouth (I like to count to 8). This signals that you're relaxed to the brain. It's not easy at first, and don't worry about perfection. You'll see that it can be magical.

I greatly admire all of you, esp. the person who started the thread. I know that some people think we're "weak," but it's actually the opposite. Feel free to PM me (I'm anything but a know-it-all, so I like advice, too) and remember to take it one breath at a time.

So, you just skipped over 1230 posts, where's your commitment man.

I started this thread to give other sufferers (not me, I was doing fine) somewhere to share, turned out it's been a great benefit to me (the doing fine came to an end).

I know what you mean about staying in the now, trying to out logic my mind has been my prime weapon in fighting the depression and anxiety.

It's been really good to hear of all the different ways we tackle the same problems, breathing, self hypnosis, grounding in reality and many others ideas, which at their core all serve to calm us down.
Different things appeal to people for a variety of reasons, the more options we have the more chance there is that something will click.

One thing that helps is knowing that we are not alone in our struggle and that there is someone else who believes and understands.
Thanks.

 

[Quoll]

I'm not sure I'd call myself depressed, but the periods where I'm lying awake in bed at night and wondering what I'm doing wrong are becoming more and more frequent lately. Laugh if you will, and you probably will, but I feel like I'm experiencing a quasi-midlife crisis - I mean, I'm 21 soon, I'm no longer a child, I'm an adult, and I've done so little in my life so far. I'm told I'm not as ugly as I always used to think, and I'm in a place where I can look in the mirror and not be repulsed by what looks back, but emotionally and psychologically I am a mess.

OK, maybe I am a little depressed. I don't know. Just felt like having a miniature vent.

Vent away.
I'm not being a smartarse here, but part of the problem is that you are almost 21. Often a time for personal reflection for one thing, but also I think there's still a bit of residual hormanal stuff going on in our bodies (if I remember me at that age "horny as a goat" was a good description), and you are constantly coming across situations you haven't experienced before, all this really is hard on the mind. Self doubt is a biggie and it's a hard one to shake at any age.

Ok I'll pause here for a minute, I'm trying to say stuff here that doesn't sound like some fourtymumble year old guy rambling on about how you young people just don't understand ( I fear it's not working).

If it's any consolation there are plenty of us that still lie awake in bed wondering the very things you do, hell I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Try thinking on what you have done, going as far back as you can, twenty odd years is a long time, there should be some good experiences and memories there even if your life hasn't been that great.

(Old fart Advice) Relax, you've got plenty of time, who the hell says you have to have accomplished anything by now. Now is just the start of working out what it is you want to accomplish, remember, most world leaders are over sixty (scary thought sometimes).

Instead of focusing on what you haven't done ( a huge neverending list of possibilities that can suck the life out of you), try focusing on what you do want to achieve and how you can do it (you've got at least fourty years to plan and execute if you are looking for world leadership).

If you are talking of matters of the heart, then it's gonna hurt, doesn't matter how old, how smart, how accomplished, it just fucking hurts, but it does pass.

I don't know, hopefully there's something of use in that mess for you.

 

[bobsgirl]

Q-ey, you are an extraordinarily nice, compassionate person.

 

[Phaedre]

I know this is very late* Phee, (don't ask me, the thought came to me that I must reply to Phee today, so apparently that is my nickname for you now) but I hope you have managed to deal with your stress and are feeling somewhat better, either way you continue to be in my thoughts.

Thank you for thinking of and remembering me. And I quite like the nickname

I am okay. One set of stresses replaced with another but I am coping and I can look out of the front window and see a house now and not have an immediate flashback so I suppose that's better also. I would love for a single night's restful sleep but I don't think I'll be getting that for a while yet.

*There's a whole story about in-laws in my house, me hiding with the dust bunnies blah blah, but I hadn't forgotten you.

Now you've piqued my curiosity so please do tell. <g>

Q-ey, you are an extraordinarily nice, compassionate person.

Indeed he is.

 

[Quoll]

I'm almost surprised at how little of a fuck I actually give.

 

[likes2watchU]

I'm almost surprised at how little of a fuck I actually give.

Q - Sounds like you're not having such a good day - and that's okay. I'm constantly amazed at the positive feedback and compassionate responses you post for all of us here. My caretaker nature wants to try and step in to make everything all better... but I know that's not realistic. At best, I can offer an ear if you need someone to listen and a (cyber) hug or a simple holding of hands for a while if all you need is just to be present with someone else and experience some physical contact with another human being. I hope tomorrow shines a bit brighter for you. Remember - you're not alone. I can only speak for myself, but I believe that there are others who read this post who would be there to support you and give you a kind word as well.
Take care

 

[likes2watchU]

I'm open to feedback, but not posting in the hopes of getting any. More posting to just get my frustration out a bit. I had another night where I woke myself up in a panic attack. I'm so tired of these. It's hard to figure out if there's a trigger. I didn't do anything out of the usual yesterday. But around 1am some lucid dreaming morphed into a real life panic attack. So I was jolted from a deep sleep trying to figure out if someone had broken into the house, if I was having a heart attack, or if this was just a dream-induced panic attack. <sigh> Makes for a long day as I never really get sound asleep after that. I end up waking every 45-50 minutes until I'm just too tired and get up early (hence the time to post all this before I leave for work).

Thanks for listening/reading.
~L2WU

 

[Quoll]

Q - Sounds like you're not having such a good day - and that's okay. I'm constantly amazed at the positive feedback and compassionate responses you post for all of us here. My caretaker nature wants to try and step in to make everything all better... but I know that's not realistic. At best, I can offer an ear if you need someone to listen and a (cyber) hug or a simple holding of hands for a while if all you need is just to be present with someone else and experience some physical contact with another human being. I hope tomorrow shines a bit brighter for you. Remember - you're not alone. I can only speak for myself, but I believe that there are others who read this post who would be there to support you and give you a kind word as well.
Take care

I just want you to know that this thought was with me and helped immensely.

I probably should have been more prepared for this downturn, it's been a good few weeks and it's the nature of the beast that this must end.

It's a strange place I find myself in when the downturn comes, an overwhelming sense of disinterest in everything, no amount of logical thinking can bring me out of this phase (perhaps it keeps me from sinking lower). I have no desire, no that's not right, I have no drive to interact with others and yet (with this particular type of downturn) don't want to be alone. There is much internal gnashing of teeth and arguing over making that first move, it's just communication after all, it shouldn't be that hard.
Unfortunately there have been times when this has gone on for weeks or more. That's about as close as I can get to explaining this for now.

Thank you again for your caring thoughts and please take pleasure in knowing that they made a difference.


I'm sorry your night was so bad, I understand fully the stress and feelings of displacement after a horror night, I hope at least your day was more pleasant. *hug*

 

[likes2watchU]

Q - Thanks and yes the day was better (a bit tired) but better. Hope you turn the corner soon. You did an excellent job of explaining... I'm not always as in touch w/ my feelings during the down times, but often feel something similar when I'm physically ill. I don't want anyone to come in and fuss, but I want/need the sounds of others around me... for them to know I'm there and that I'll reach out if I need them (even though I never do... still working on reaching out for help).

It is difficult for me to find that balance though... not to look at things as black or white. I've a tendency to look for trouble when things go well for too long. In some ways I still must not feel that I truly deserve good things... at least not in abundance.

Life is such an interesting journey at times.
Keep taking care...

 

[Fflow]

Just wanted to say that my wife sometimes wakes up in a panic attack. It's usually shortly after she's fallen asleep, and often is triggered by some external sound. We've found, over time, that they often coincide with her menstrual period and, occasionally, work-related stress. The good thing is that she responds well to lorazipam, and usually normalizes in a few minutes.

I've had a few day-time panic attacks that, for all intents and purposes, seemed identical to heart attacks. They've landed me in the ER more than once.

I guess I'm sharing this just for solidarity's sake.

Hang in there.

 

[likes2watchU]

Just wanted to say that my wife sometimes wakes up in a panic attack. It's usually shortly after she's fallen asleep, and often is triggered by some external sound. We've found, over time, that they often coincide with her menstrual period and, occasionally, work-related stress. The good thing is that she responds well to lorazipam, and usually normalizes in a few minutes.

I've had a few day-time panic attacks that, for all intents and purposes, seemed identical to heart attacks. They've landed me in the ER more than once.

I guess I'm sharing this just for solidarity's sake.

Hang in there.

Thanks... good to know I'm not alone (next best thing to finding a "fix" for what's going on). Will track stress and my calendar more closely. I do believe it's the external noise that starts it off, but the trigger is whatever's going on internally (stress, etc). Too bad for me that I have such allergic and otherwise negative reactions to most meds. Leaves me on my own for much of this. But will look into the lorazipam to see if it's in a class of meds I've had before.

 

[Fflow]

FYI, Lorazipam is an anti-anxiety drug. The dose is small (5 mg I think), and the effects are somewhat mild, but I do find that they help me when I'm feeling wound up. I often take one before bed. They help me sleep more soundly, and wake up feeling good.

I also recently got an exercise bike and, believe it or not, it's been a great help in reducing my stress levels. I've been trying to use it every day for 30 minutes. Even when I don't want to, I force myself to do it. I always feel better after, and sleep better too. It isn't a cure-all, certainly, but it really does help.

I also have two dogs, who are not at all willing to accept my indifference.

xoxo

f(s)

 

[Quoll]

What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Sleep Apnea?
Major Signs and Symptoms

One of the most common signs of obstructive sleep apnea is loud and chronic (ongoing) snoring. Pauses may occur in the snoring. Choking or gasping may follow the pauses.

The snoring usually is loudest when you sleep on your back; it may be less noisy when you turn on your side. Snoring may not happen every night. Over time, the snoring may happen more often and get louder.

You're asleep when the snoring or gasping occurs. You will likely not know that you're having problems breathing or be able to judge how severe the problem is. Your family members or bed partner will often notice these problems before you do.

Not everyone who snores has sleep apnea.

Another common sign of sleep apnea is fighting sleepiness during the day, at work, or while driving. You may find yourself rapidly falling asleep during the quiet moments of the day when you're not active.
Other Signs and Symptoms

Others signs and symptoms of sleep apnea may include:
Morning headaches
Memory or learning problems and not being able to concentrate
Feeling irritable, depressed, or having mood swings or personality changes
Urination at night
A dry throat when you wake up

In children, sleep apnea can cause hyperactivity, poor school performance, and aggressiveness. Children who have sleep apnea also may have unusual sleeping positions, bedwetting, and may breathe through their mouths instead of their noses during the day.​

Combining this with depression can lead to being unable to function above the most basic level for long periods of time (weeks).
As I described to someone recently it's a lot like having severe depression, major apathy/lethargy and Chronic fatigue syndrome all rolled into one.
The ability to hold an intelligent or emotional conversation is almost impossible, I'm struggling even now to maintain the interest to finish
this post.

 

[wicked woman]

((((Quoll))))

 

[bobsgirl]

Combining this with depression can lead to being unable to function above the most basic level for long periods of time (weeks).
As I described to someone recently it's a lot like having severe depression, major apathy/lethargy and Chronic fatigue syndrome all rolled into one.
The ability to hold an intelligent or emotional conversation is almost impossible, I'm struggling even now to maintain the interest to finish
this post.

{{{{{Q-ey}}}}}}

 

[Quoll]

((((Quoll))))

{{{{{Q-ey}}}}}}

Thank you both.


I'm not sure why I'm so desperate to get people to understand how I feel.

 

[bobsgirl]

Thank you both.


I'm not sure why I'm so desperate to get people to understand how I feel.

I remember when you wrote that to me. I understood it perfectly. With depression, there seems to be the belief that if you really wanted to, you could overcome it: Go out and take a walk! A change of scenery will do you good! Oh cheer up -- A lot of people have it worse than you!

It belittles and trivializes the pain depression causes. It's no wonder you want to be heard and understood, Q.

Of course, I could be totally full of you know what...