Disappointments

[MasterKensbeany]

Name calling

You're absolutely right Dream, name calling on anyone's part, in my own opinion, is unacceptable. After reading and re-reading the posts, I feel that it was begun by Unda and escalated by her in each and every subsequent post.

Also, as a general rule, I don't correct Dominants. That is for other Dominants to do.

Respectfully
beany

 

[UCE]

Re: Name calling

You're absolutely right Dream, name calling on anyone's part, in my own opinion, is unacceptable. After reading and re-reading the posts, I feel that it was begun by Unda and escalated by her in each and every subsequent post.

In other words, UNDA IS TO BLLAAAAME! UNDA IS TO BLAAAAME! Nah-nah!!!! I thought the childish behavior (yes you are behaving childishly in this post and that IS NOT namecalling, it is description) would come out in your soon. Tis Ok, we've all got that locked away inside.

Clearly if name calling were the only deadly sin of communication, you'd be right. But there are a lot worse sins, such as calling a sincere person a liar, in my book. But if you need to put the blame all on me, Beany, then you absolutely have to make my petty sin of namecalling into the absolutely worst thing that could ever be done.

No matter how much you wish to lie to yourself about this, the flaming, the aggravations were started in the beginning by others. Now where's the namecalling in this post? I still insist that words mean what they mean and saying someone is acting childish in one post is not calling them some name permanently! Of course, I expect you'll see it different.

Thank you, though, for dropping your false attempt to appear unbiased to me. It's always nicer when people reveal their real, hidden agendas.

Bitterly,
Unda

 

[P. B. Walker]

Mmm what started out as an interesting and insightful debate has once again turned into a spiteful little flame war. It's sad really. The faces and people change, but the behavior never does. Isn't that kinda wierd? I mean, everyone from the last big flame war has either shut up or left, and within a month of that happening, we have another little war brewing... with all new people (and I even stayed out of it... ok... where's my medal???).

Is it something about this board? The topic? BDSM in general? Risia?!! Did you fart? Dammit! <winks>

PBW "My dream job was to be a satirical cartoonist, but I can't draw for shit."

 

[NemoAlia]

Dream wrote:

ONLY Master and I know and really we are the only ones who need to know

I will say only 1 thing HOW I choose to display My REAL genuine LOVE for Artful is MY business and MINE only,

------------------

I say: Hear hear!

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Mmm what started out as an interesting and insightful debate has once again turned into a spiteful little flame war. It's sad really. The faces and people change, but the behavior never does. Isn't that kinda wierd? I mean, everyone from the last big flame war has either shut up or left, and within a month of that happening, we have another little war brewing... with all new people (and I even stayed out of it... ok... where's my medal???).

Is it something about this board? The topic? BDSM in general? Risia?!! Did you fart? Dammit! <winks>

PBW "My dream job was to be a satirical cartoonist, but I can't draw for shit."

Truly amazing isn't it. Its disappointing to see too.

Wish I knew what causes this, if there were a cure available...~shrugs~ Oh well.

So your dream job was satirical cartoonist huh? Good money there or what?

~smiles @ PBW~
dixi

 

[MasterKensbeany]

re:name calling

Unda

I'll say it again. Try stepping back, taking some deep breaths and clearing your head. Your emotions are out of control. I was not flaming you but, the name calling ( and yes "childish" is a "name") began with you and its gotten worse with every post. I can't believe that you aren't capable of making your points without putting others down. Even if you feel they've attacked you, can't you try to keep the argument at a higher level? Can't you be the better person?

Respectfully
beany

 

[UCE]

Re: To Dream

Dream

I've never answered one of your posts or threads simply because I am totally puzzled by you. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I've just never known another sub like you so I've been cautious about talking to you. Something that Zipman said on this thread caught me however, when he told you that yours words and actions reflect on your Master. This is something that's struck me many times while reading your posts and I thought I might give you some insight from the point of view of another sub. Just my insight mind you, I'm speaking only for myself.

Zipman stated that when you post something....for lack of a better phrase...out of line, that others reading it ask themselves "why does her Master let her get away with that". I know that what he's saying is true but, my gut reaction is a little different. I ask myself, "how can she say something like that in an open forum? Doesn't she ever think that she might embarrass her Master?" I don't know if he is embarrassed by the things you say or not, I've never talked to him personally. I've read most of his recent posts and I find him a thoughtful, caring, respectable man who I think any sub would be happy to serve. It doesn't really matter if in fact he is bothered by your posts, to me at least. I hope I'm making this clear and I'm honestly not trying to hurt or offend you.

From my own perspective, I am very careful never to post anything to any board that might offend or embarrass my own Master and if I'm not sure, I run it by him first. He has never been bothered by anything I've written but he does appreciate that I think about that before I post something. Does this make any sense to you? Does it ring true at all?

I'll tell you something in all candor Dream and this is not meant to harm you, only to show you what others see. When I read your Master's dismissal of you on the open forum, my first thought was that he was doing it to show you how it felt to be publically humiliated. I'm not saying that was his motive, I have no idea what it was in reality. I'm only telling you, that was how it looked and felt to me.

Please understand that this post is not a bashing of you, I don't have any reason to do that. I think you are a kind, sensitive woman who truly loves her Master. I am just trying to help you see another perspective.

Respectfully
beany

What a horrible and false thing to say to this poor woman, but you apparently don't know any better, beany. You've lived much more of a sceneish and rule driven life than I had reason to suspect!

When you or anybody else tries to ascribe some importance to what a submissive says as "embarassing her master" you are showing those of us who have eyes to see how greatly the Scene has taught you to rely on appearances rather than reality. You're saying that what you care about is not the inner reality of the realtionship so much as how you "appear" to others. Caring what others think about you (or imagine your master to be like based on anything you say) is focusing on the wrapping of the package, not the gift inside. It's completely superficial and at its base is vanity--your masters and yours--and under that, insecurity. If you still care about how others see you then you are clearly insecure about whether what you are doing is right or not, you're still searching for answers outside yourself, outside your relationship! It's incredibly pathetic and sad to watch this from the outside. 30 years and you two haven't realized that all that matters is what you two do together and that it work for both of you? 30 years and you still crave that other fools, people who don't know anything about "respect" you, so much so that you censor what might have been open and honest communication just because you're afraid some idiot might think less of you or your partner for your saying it (oh, the vanity!).

I shake my head in disbelief at you, beany. Others around here are stumbling around in the dark, and while their stumblings into me have been irritating, they have not served to shock me, to horrify me in the way that you have tonight. I pray for your poor soul and that you may someday learn that the real secret, that the only thing that matters lies between you and your master, and not anybody else in the outside world.

I also encourage others, with partners or without to not censor yourselves on a board like this for the pettiest of reasons (that it might make you or your master "look bad" to some other strangers who are as likely to be fools as anybody) but to speak the truth as best you can about who you are and what is right to you. And if that invovles namecalling, if that is who you are, sobeit. It is so so SO much better than the lies which are those of elimination or the leaving out of truth or of "pretending" to be in public something that you really arent!. SHEESH!

One of the reasons I really admire dream, beany, is because she speaks the truth loudly and clearly and hosnesty without any bullshit and lies put into her words to make her master look good. When she prasies her master, she honestly feels it. When she disses him, it's equally honest too. I am beginning to think that you have never met a submissive like dream, because you have never before met one willing to be totally honest, as she is.

It would be so easy and convenient for her to lie in the ways that you are suggesting, to "just not speak of certain matters" or to repress her personality (which some of us find delightful) but if she did so she would be doing the vast majority of readers here a disservice. Without dream here, all you have is a pack of bitter, overly cautious, dissembling, mistrustful fools who are spending all their time claiming things for themselves that they do not have at all. She is practically the only one here (outside of a few exceptions) who is posting honestly!!! And you would destroy that, in her. That is truely evil. The worst sort of evil, BEany because you'll destroy the hope in hundreds of readers' hearts if you make this darling woman into a cautious liar like yourself! Yes, that was a name and a very accruate one too. You gave it to yourself when you admitted your rewrite history and self-censor just to make your relationship look good to others.

Christ Almighty!! I told my friend who encouraged me to post here that my going on a bdsm forum was for me like entering a den of poisonous vipers! Maybe he now, finally, sees what I am talking about. Plonk, Beany. And GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN! I mean it! Your intentions may or may not be good; your suggestions are diabolical and are killing of everything good in the human spirit.

Big Sigh.

 

[UCE]

Re: re:name calling

Unda

I'll say it again. Try stepping back, taking some deep breaths and clearing your head. Your emotions are out of control. I was not flaming you but, the name calling ( and yes "childish" is a "name") began with you and its gotten worse with every post. I can't believe that you aren't capable of making your points without putting others down. Even if you feel they've attacked you, can't you try to keep the argument at a higher level? Can't you be the better person?

Respectfully
beany

I'm perfectly calm beany. In fact I was laughing jovially at you in the post you refer to. But you go on trying to misrepresent me as this overly emotional flamer while everybody elese is being the soul of reason. lol, a few fools will beleive you and speak out to support you too, something you seem to badly need. But that doesn't make it the truth. I'm having FUN in these talks, and I'm perfectly calm. I'm also not escalating anything. Look at the wonderful long reply I wrote to you just a bit ago when you first butted your head into something that really was none of your business except that you're trying to manipulate the politics on this board, quite clearly, lol. Go on though, it you repeat it enough times that I'mgoing all emotional, someone is bound to believe you.

You dare to suggest that I BE A BETTER PERSON after the horror of that message you wrote to dream??? LOL OH LUCIFER, your lies are myriad and without end in inventiveness. Honey, right now, you have shown me the blackest heart of anybody on this board. I think you'd better stop trying to climb to that high ground--the shit on your skirt tells us all where you've been. Metaphorically speaking of course,

Night, beany! Make these honest words into whatever fantastical lie you want to, as I know now that you most certainly will. I don't care. I'm bowing out. You get the last word! Tada!

 

[artful]

"Disappointments",...

...and how I handle them.

Not because I started this thread,...but because of the posts OTHERS have made, I see it as one of the most INFORMATIVE threads that are current, and actively being posted to in the Forum.

There are REAL,...disappointments being OPENLY displayed here, and people are SHOWING how they handle them.

I trust that we ALL can see where no one is JUSTIFIED in name calling, and there is NO reason for ANY bitterness to be posted toward ANOTHER Forum participant.

Once I have expressed MY opinion on a matter, (and someone disagrees to it), I *might*,...respond to THAT post to answer a QUESTION,...or to CLARIFY a point that was unclear.

I *might* choose to IGNORE someones post ENTIRELY, and not post to it, or refer to it in ANY manner, (my choice), or continue to respond *IF* I thought I was being misunderstood, (once again,...my choice).

How each of us CHOOSE to handle our disappointments *IS*,...a personal CHOICE. I hope WE all can continue to LQQK within ourselves, and LEARN from our *Disappointments*. Not to affix a *BLAME* anywhere, but to find out *WHY* we were so *Disappointed*.

I thank you all for posting on this thread, and hope WE can now move forward to finding out MORE, of how disappointments are handled in the CONTEXT of a BDSM relationship.

 

[zipman]

Re: Re: To Dream

<snip>
I shake my head in disbelief at you, beany. Others around here are stumbling around in the dark, and while their stumblings into me have been irritating, they have not served to shock me, to horrify me in the way that you have tonight. I pray for your poor soul and that you may someday learn that the real secret, that the only thing that matters lies between you and your master, and not anybody else in the outside world.
<snip>
GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN! I mean it! Your intentions may or may not be good; your suggestions are diabolical and are killing of everything good in the human spirit.

Big Sigh.

You are absolutely, positively off your rocker! Why not take a break and come back later, after you've taken your meds!

 

[~Dream~]

speaking of Hell

and that reminded me.. I had to go take MY meds .. gee ty Zip ! Lifesaver !!... anyways I LIVE in Hell =Michigan where it is getting "Disappointedly cold all of a sudden.." and I'd like to say that at any other time in my young submissive life I would have read your words and taken them quite defensively beany ,however since I am trying to look past all of that and into the "intent" behind them .. I will say this,thanks for making me feel'unique" cause I AM , Master is secure enough in himself as a person AND as my Master that things I say to others may very well "hurt ' Him at times and I HAVE APOLOGIZED for that,however He doesnt get 'embarrassed' easily if at all.
HE does allow me to "post freely' and I'm positive that that 'irks' alot of people and I am sorry but we do things Master's way not the view of people of the forum's way.. I will try to be more respectful in my posting and I do hope my good friend Uce can calm down a little as I myself have already been in the hospital before over too high of BP and frankly No one on here is worth my health..
<snip>
**Please understand that this post is not a bashing of you, I don't have any reason to do that. I think you are a kind, sensitive woman who truly loves her Master. I am just trying to help you see another perspective.

I didnt take it as a bash at all and ty for your time
~Dream~

 

[MasterKensbeany]

re:speaking of hell

Dream

You don't know hell until you've lived in Vegas!! I'd kill for a little cold and snow right about now, even a teeny bit of rain.

I'm very happy you took my post in the light in which it was offered. I wish you and your Master nothing but the best.

Respectfully
beany

 

[~Dream~]

PBW and Dixie..

ty for your comments lol(I think) ...Beany it was indeed MORE than JUST UNDA who name-called but perhaps if I pass around flowers like those people at the airport? >.just a thought..I am STILL here for ya Unda ,dont let things or people on this board upset you so ,it's really NOT worth it ,believe me ,I know..

 

[UCE]

Re: PBW and Dixie..

ty for your comments lol(I think) ...Beany it was indeed MORE than JUST UNDA who name-called but perhaps if I pass around flowers like those people at the airport? >.just a thought..I am STILL here for ya Unda ,dont let things or people on this board upset you so ,it's really NOT worth it ,believe me ,I know..

I'm not upset kiddo, although I've made up my own mind about beany, and it's a bit different of a view than yours. In the mean time all these people I don't even know are now looking at the shark feeding fest going on over my body and deciding that because it's a group thing and they're in good company (sheep, sigh) that they now have the courage to take a little bite themselves and scream manically at me (this girl rose--I've NEVER talked to her, I don't even know who she is, and she starts screaming like a street harridan to me as if I'd said her mother wears army boots! YEESH!) so I'm plonk-plonk-plonking away, and that's keeping me sane.

 

[UCE]

Re: speaking of Hell

I forgot to ask you, dream, where do you find all those gorgeous submissive looking women for your avatars. I know they can't ALL be you because nobody could dye their hair so many times a week without it falling out! If your source of porn is a secret, tell me in PM: I won't tell. I just start collecting more pictures.

While I find in my porno roamings a lot of very gorgeous women I seldom see those women in submissive poses or with handcuffs or ropes around them. They're just standing around boringly naked, and look like they're saying "I'm too sexy for my photo." Like this girl:

(she is hot, but boy does she need a chain around her neck, lol)

 

[Red Menace]

Re: Re: speaking of Hell

(she is hot, but boy does she need a chain around her neck, lol)

A razor and some shaving cream wouldn't hurt either.

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Avatars

I forgot to ask you, dream, where do you find all those gorgeous submissive looking women for your avatars. I know they can't ALL be you because nobody could dye their hair so many times a week without it falling out! If your source of porn is a secret, tell me in PM: I won't tell. I just start collecting more pictures.

While I find in my porno roamings a lot of very gorgeous women I seldom see those women in submissive poses or with handcuffs or ropes around them. They're just standing around boringly naked, and look like they're saying "I'm too sexy for my photo." Like this girl:

(she is hot, but boy does she need a chain around her neck, lol)

___________________________
unfortunately None of my avy's are Me but I have 20 dif sites I roam around and avy shop at and would be more than happy to send you the location of some in pm tomorrow sweety ,ok ?

 

[~Dream~]

re:Nemo

Dream wrote:

ONLY Master and I know and really we are the only ones who need to know

I will say only 1 thing HOW I choose to display My REAL genuine LOVE for Artful is MY business and MINE only,

------------------

I say: Hear hear!

________________
Ty so much for Your post and may I say I really appreciate what a Wondeful job you have done on the library as well

 

[RisiaSkye]

You boob, he just flamed the hell out of me. (sweet smile)
<snip>
Do you always jump into other peoples' disagreements in this way, Ms. Busybody? It's not only extremely rude, but it makes you look like a bully trying to start a gang attack or a witchhunt against me simply becuase the ideas Ii have about D&S scare the little panties off you!

Why don't you get your big nose out of matters that are NONE of your business lest you make yourself look even more pathetic than you actually are!

Alright. This is the second thread I've had to intervene in today, and both for the same reason, so I'll come right to the point.

This thread has become a big mess of childish and inappropriate behavior. UCE, you *in particular* are way out of line. Rational disagreement is to be expected; being asked to verify one's claims of expertise is par for the course. If you disagree with each other, so be it, and one would hope you can find the words to express that disagreement like a civilized adult.

Calling people "boob" and "pathetic" and "roach" and "harridan" is inappropriately personally directed, and is entirely counter-productive besides. Calm down and post rationally, or expect to find your posts edited to remove the personal flames.

You have now been publicly warned.

And, rubber-neckers, don't feed flames and don't go on the attack. Time to reign this in, all of you.

Thank you,
RisiaSkye
Forum Moderator

 

[Ebonyfire]

Alright. This is the second thread I've had to intervene in today, and both for the same reason, so I'll come right to the point.

This thread has become a big mess of childish and inappropriate behavior. UCE, you *in particular* are way out of line. Rational disagreement is to be expected; being asked to verify one's claims of expertise is par for the course. If you disagree with each other, so be it, and one would hope you can find the words to express that disagreement like a civilized adult.

Calling people "boob" and "pathetic" and "roach" and "harridan" is inappropriately personally directed, and is entirely counter-productive besides. Calm down and post rationally, or expect to find your posts edited to remove the personal flames.

You have now been publicly warned.

And, rubber-neckers, don't feed flames and don't go on the attack. Time to reign this in, all of you.

Thank you,
RisiaSkye
Forum Moderator

Sorry RS, my bad.

Eb

 

[UCE]

Alright. This is the second thread I've had to intervene in today, and both for the same reason, so I'll come right to the point.

This thread has become a big mess of childish and inappropriate behavior. UCE, you *in particular* are way out of line. Rational disagreement is to be expected; being asked to verify one's claims of expertise is par for the course. If you disagree with each other, so be it, and one would hope you can find the words to express that disagreement like a civilized adult.

Calling people "boob" and "pathetic" and "roach" and "harridan" is inappropriately personally directed, and is entirely counter-productive besides. Calm down and post rationally, or expect to find your posts edited to remove the personal flames.

You have now been publicly warned.

And, rubber-neckers, don't feed flames and don't go on the attack. Time to reign this in, all of you.

Thank you,
RisiaSkye
Forum Moderator

I have just now seen your post. I will not name-call after this. Is name-calling clearly stated in the forum rules or guidelines, by the way?

One tiny correction: your message implies that EB was asking me to verify one of my claims of expertise. Where you got that idea I do not know unless it is a personal bone that you wish to pick with me? What EB was actually doing was butting into a personal altercation going on between myself and Zipman and her butting in with her hostile comments toward me made a situation that might have been salvageable (just barely I thought) if he and I had been left alone to work it out, completely impossible. There was no mention in her post in which I responded to about asking for verification for any ideas.

If you wish to support such desctructive behavior in individuals simply becuase it doesn't involve name-calling be my guest. I don't have to like everything done here. Personally, I do not mind namecalling and have no problem with what names anybody else wants to use on me. What I find the most hurtful and dishonest is when people, such as Zipman7, MsWorthy, and Lancecastor lyingly depict an individuals motivations as shallow and evil, as if they could possibly be in that person's mind and heart. To me, this is a far more dirty and hateful form of false argumentation than simple namecalling.

 

[UCE]

Please note the date and timestamp of the above message, RS so you know when I read your instructions and began to follow them. Anything posted before that date and time was posted in ignorance of any of your messages.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Peeking outta my foxhole

Is it over?

I almost don't wanna come out... we got the jacuzzi installed down here in the foxhole and some of the ladies joined me. I think I'll stay hunkered down here for a bit longer.

Oppss... almost forgot... we'll be needing an airdrop of more condoms... LOL. Risia... can you get on that? Just teasin.

PBW "Did ya'll know that whipped cream floats?"

 

[~Dream~]

in order to not cause ..

"Disappointment" To UCE (clever hey?) I'm posting a few of my links for avy's here for her..(sorry for the "hijack Master ) but you can always "spank' Your slave later if You so choose baby ..

here ya go UCE :
http://www.angelfire.com/ns/evilinc/naughty.html

http://www.geocities.com/bluemist132000/WhiteWindsPaintShoppeMegaFem2.html


http://www.romanysrealm.com/

http://members.aol.com/cowtowning/AVLinks.htm

http://www.rosepetal.net/Dsmegas12.html



HAPPY SHOPPING HUN!! ~Dream~

 

[~Dream~]

lol@ PBW

never let it be said that Dream dont try to help those who ask for it (has a plane drop a shitload of condoms down to the "foxhole' with PBW& company ) Risia's a BUSY woman geez give her a break lol