Do Opposites Attract? - D/s Style

[Daddyslilpet]

Re: Re: Re: interesting topic Eb..

__________________________
aha! Sis Dixie!! the TRUTH is out..You also like Reese cups!! fess up!! lol

Yep....ya got me Sis. I love em....unfortunately Master doesn't...LOL


dixi

 

[MsWorthy]

In my opinion, people look for the pieces that are missing in themselves.

We all have weaknesses and areas in which we are not very effective or successful. We can work and work to improve our ability to do these *things* (that we are not good at), but I don't think we ever get to a point of liking them (not all things, of course, but some). Our inability to be *good* at these things seems to cause them to take on more importance than they would otherwise. So we look for someone who is *good* at these things and in finding our complement (other half, opposite), we feel whole.

However, if our mates do not hold the same values that we do, we are headed for trouble in paradise.

For example:

Our partner may be outgoing where we are shy; but she/he must not value going out over staying home, if staying home and spending time with the kids is important to us.

Our partner may be gregarious and flirtatious where we are more a loner: but she/he must not value other's attention and opinion more than ours.

Our partner may deal with conflict without flinching where we shy away from any confrontation; but she/he must not think her/his way is better than ours.

I do think opposites attract, but I feel that the values we hold must be the same or compatible in order for our relationship to last beyond the *honeymoon phase*. Our differences will keep everything fresh and exciting in the beginning but will become the very things that are a source of discord once the newness wears off and we settle in to spend our lives with together.

So, if you want kids; don't settle for someone who doesn't ... no matter how wonderful they seem otherwise

If you enjoy spending time with friends and feel stifled if you can't go out; don't settle for someone who would rather rent a movie and snuggle. (I know a couple who split after 6 years together for this reason. One was bored, felt stifled, and sick of going to bed at 10 every night. They loved each other, but love wasn't enough. Their values were too different in this area. One valued intimacy and home life while the other valued friends, fun, and getting out and living life.)

If sex is a way of expressing yourself and you do not feel alive without it, don't settle for someone who wants sex only on the weekends (when they aren't so tired).

~know what you want and what is important to you if you are seeking a life partner and not *simply* a play partner. Who you date (someone different, challenging, and fun) is not necessarily who would make a good marriage partner.~

*pardon my rambling I seem unable to organize my thoughts and find clarity today*

 

[A Desert Rose]

well done

*pardon my rambling I seem unable to organize my thoughts and find clarity today*

It all read very well to me Ms. And made perfect sense, too. Your points all work for me except you forgot- he needs to like my dog.

Rose

 

[MsWorthy]

Re: well done

It all read very well to me Ms. And made perfect sense, too. Your points all work for me except you forgot- he needs to like my dog.

Rose

lol ok Rose ~edits post to say, "and you must like her dog"~

 

[A Desert Rose]

My dog

Just for shits and grins- if you have not seen my yellow lab- here he is:


If you like him, send all inquiries to:
Ms. Desert Rose.

 

[Verypowerful]

Cuddly....

VP

 

[Desdemona]

What a sweet puppy!

 

[Persephone36]

Aw! What a cutie!

(Er, uh -- we should probably stop hijacking this thread and get it off pet day and onto Eb's original question, lol.)

P.

 

[Ebonyfire]

WOW, Msw. Thanks for posting.

Eb

In my opinion, people look for the pieces that are missing in themselves.

We all have weaknesses and areas in which we are not very effective or successful. We can work and work to improve our ability to do these *things* (that we are not good at), but I don't think we ever get to a point of liking them (not all things, of course, but some). Our inability to be *good* at these things seems to cause them to take on more importance than they would otherwise. So we look for someone who is *good* at these things and in finding our complement (other half, opposite), we feel whole.

However, if our mates do not hold the same values that we do, we are headed for trouble in paradise.

For example:

Our partner may be outgoing where we are shy; but she/he must not value going out over staying home, if staying home and spending time with the kids is important to us.

Our partner may be gregarious and flirtatious where we are more a loner: but she/he must not value other's attention and opinion more than ours.

Our partner may deal with conflict without flinching where we shy away from any confrontation; but she/he must not think her/his way is better than ours.

I do think opposites attract, but I feel that the values we hold must be the same or compatible in order for our relationship to last beyond the *honeymoon phase*. Our differences will keep everything fresh and exciting in the beginning but will become the very things that are a source of discord once the newness wears off and we settle in to spend our lives with together.

So, if you want kids; don't settle for someone who doesn't ... no matter how wonderful they seem otherwise

If you enjoy spending time with friends and feel stifled if you can't go out; don't settle for someone who would rather rent a movie and snuggle. (I know a couple who split after 6 years together for this reason. One was bored, felt stifled, and sick of going to bed at 10 every night. They loved each other, but love wasn't enough. Their values were too different in this area. One valued intimacy and home life while the other valued friends, fun, and getting out and living life.)

If sex is a way of expressing yourself and you do not feel alive without it, don't settle for someone who wants sex only on the weekends (when they aren't so tired).

~know what you want and what is important to you if you are seeking a life partner and not *simply* a play partner. Who you date (someone different, challenging, and fun) is not necessarily who would make a good marriage partner.~

*pardon my rambling I seem unable to organize my thoughts and find clarity today*

 

[MsWorthy]

WOW, Msw. Thanks for posting.

Eb

You're welcome, Eb ~smiles~

I am happy to have contributed something that may help someone.

 

[Ebonyfire]

You're welcome, Eb ~smiles~

I am happy to have contributed something that may help someone.

I had to think about why I liked your post so much.

What I came up with his that your post explains so well the fact that you have to be clear about what you want. Opposites may attract, but there comes a point when the differences you may have either enhance the relationship or hinder it.

Ebony

 

[luvsubbbbb]

Ms Ebonyfire and Mistress VP need a 24/7

I need to go grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping I need a 24/7!!!!!

Eb <shaking her fist and railing at the gods>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am soooo much in agreement Eb.

( just needed to add that, please carry on)

VP
-----------------------------------------------------------------

::furiously pedals his bicycle up the steep hill to Mistress Ebonyfire's place....knocks on Her door...dressed only in a tight loooong black T-Shirt with the D/s logo colorfully emblazoned on the front with the inscription beneath it "sub-boy grocers".....he smiles at Her politely...hands Her the bags of groceries....wiggles his butt as he turns and heads back to his bicycle and rides off::

::he finds a dark alleyway to change t-shirts discreetly......dons another with "sub-boy laundry service" emblazoned on the front and pedals to Mistress VeryPowerful's place, knocking on Her door, his heart pounding as it is opened and a crooked finger motions him inside.....the door clicking.... locked behind him as he realizes that his fate is sealed..............::

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Ms Ebonyfire and Mistress VP need a 24/7

::furiously pedals his bicycle up the steep hill to Mistress Ebonyfire's place....knocks on Her door...dressed only in a tight loooong black T-Shirt with the D/s logo colorfully emblazoned on the front with the inscription beneath it "sub-boy grocers".....he smiles at Her politely...hands Her the bags of groceries....wiggles his butt as he turns and heads back to his bicycle and rides off::

::he finds a dark alleyway to change t-shirts discreetly......dons another with "sub-boy laundry service" emblazoned on the front and pedals to Mistress VeryPowerful's place, knocking on Her door, his heart pounding as it is opened and a crooked finger motions him inside.....the door clicking.... locked behind him as he realizes that his fate is sealed..............::

Yep, subby boy, you are in for it now! LOL

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

In my opinion, people look for the pieces that are missing in themselves.

We all have weaknesses and areas in which we are not very effective or successful. We can work and work to improve our ability to do these *things* (that we are not good at), but I don't think we ever get to a point of liking them (not all things, of course, but some). Our inability to be *good* at these things seems to cause them to take on more importance than they would otherwise. So we look for someone who is *good* at these things and in finding our complement (other half, opposite), we feel whole.

However, if our mates do not hold the same values that we do, we are headed for trouble in paradise.

For example:

Our partner may be outgoing where we are shy; but she/he must not value going out over staying home, if staying home and spending time with the kids is important to us.

Our partner may be gregarious and flirtatious where we are more a loner: but she/he must not value other's attention and opinion more than ours.

Our partner may deal with conflict without flinching where we shy away from any confrontation; but she/he must not think her/his way is better than ours.

I do think opposites attract, but I feel that the values we hold must be the same or compatible in order for our relationship to last beyond the *honeymoon phase*. Our differences will keep everything fresh and exciting in the beginning but will become the very things that are a source of discord once the newness wears off and we settle in to spend our lives with together.

So, if you want kids; don't settle for someone who doesn't ... no matter how wonderful they seem otherwise

If you enjoy spending time with friends and feel stifled if you can't go out; don't settle for someone who would rather rent a movie and snuggle. (I know a couple who split after 6 years together for this reason. One was bored, felt stifled, and sick of going to bed at 10 every night. They loved each other, but love wasn't enough. Their values were too different in this area. One valued intimacy and home life while the other valued friends, fun, and getting out and living life.)

If sex is a way of expressing yourself and you do not feel alive without it, don't settle for someone who wants sex only on the weekends (when they aren't so tired).

~know what you want and what is important to you if you are seeking a life partner and not *simply* a play partner. Who you date (someone different, challenging, and fun) is not necessarily who would make a good marriage partner.~

*pardon my rambling I seem unable to organize my thoughts and find clarity today*

All I can say to this post is one word...AMEN!

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

All I can say to this post is one word...AMEN! <re-reading it for the 4th time>

Eb

 

[cymbidia]

*pardon my rambling I seem unable to organize my thoughts and find clarity today*

Your thoughts were clear, well-stated, and blazingly true, MsW: it all comes down to comparable values between those who are deciding to spend forever together or not.

You have no idea how much your words have just now helped me sort things out a bit inside the dark corners of my heart. Thank you.

 

[MsWorthy]

You're welcome, Cym. I am glad that my contribution helped.

~smiles at Ebony for the fourth time~

 

[Ebonyfire]

Do Opposites Attract Revisited

I thought this is a topice that might rate a second look since we have a lot of new people posting here.

And perhaps over time some of the regulars have gained more insight on who attracts them in a BDSM and/or D/s context.

All flavors are welcome to post.

 

[Never]

I need to go grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping I need a 24/7!!!!!

Eb <shaking her fist and railing at the gods>

At 11pm last night my mother handed me a grocery list. Why does most of the stuff you have your subs do sound like what she has me do? If I'm in therapy ten years from now I am so blaming this board.

 

[Ebonyfire]

At 11pm last night my mother handed me a grocery list. Why does most of the stuff you have your subs do sound like what she has me do? If I'm in therapy ten years from now I am so blaming this board.

Nope you are required to blame Mother cause she has the most time to ruin you.

If I had a 24/7 (which I do not) They would do all of the shopping and also prepare most of the meals to My specifications, unless I felt the need to cook. They would always do the washing up afterwards.

 

[s'lara]

Service

Service is good ... it makes the sub (well, a sub so inclined to serve) feel productive and happy.

A serving sub is content one. Whistle while they work and all that stuff.

lara

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Service

Service is good ... it makes the sub (well, a sub so inclined to serve) feel productive and happy.

A serving sub is content one. Whistle while they work and all that stuff.

lara

I like to think that everything My sub does is in service to Me. When he performs well at His chosen profession, when he treats his parents with kindness and respect, it is all part of his service.

 

[Desdemona]

Well, after thinking about it again, it still comes down to similar values with enough differences to spice things up. In a little over a month, we will have been together a year. I think the thing that has cemented our bond is the fact that we have so much in common and that we can talk to each other about anything. We have our differences, but the commonalities hold us close together.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I have always said that although opposites may attract, it is the compatibilities that help cement the relationship.

 

[Desdemona]

Eb, its scary how often you and I agree.