Do you hide your sexual needs from your significant other?

[Bbl87]

I have to hide them. From the day we were married it became clear she was only interested in what she wanted... which was under the sheets, with the lights off, pure vanilla missionary position. Anything else was totally taboo. Now thought... now I know she only does that because she thinks it will make me happy and not because she enjoys it. Not looking for sympathy... just making a statement... and, that is why I write.

I feel you, man. Mine isn't THAT vanilla, but ya.

 

[sixfoot4]

I cannot talk to my husband about my fantasies he is too straight laced

Relief can be arranged......

 

[Bisexguy70]

I dont think my wife is too crazy about me dressing up in lingerie and sucking a mans cock until his cock is throbbing and glistening. Leaking with precum and teasing him until he explodes all over me. Just sayin.

 

[sterculius]

Over the years, my wife's sexual appetite has diminished, while mine has increased. I managed to persuade her to fuck me orally and anally with a very large strapon dildo and have introduced her to "unorthodox" sexual practices such as watching me masturbate and eat my own cum. I have also confessed to instances where I have performed fellatio on other men. Although she was definitely shocked by my revelations, she is still reluctant to engage with me sexually. In disclosing my oral obsession to her, I only told her of occasions that took place prior to our relationship, leaving her with the impression that I no longer suck cock, when the truth is that I'm still an active and insatiable cocksucker, and I frequently meet with men to give them blowjobs.

 

[Wonderer67]

I can’t really think of much I hide. I have a very large sexual appetite. My wife has a good one, but not as big as me.

She indulges me letting me talk about my fantasies, but keep them at that. She has no interest in additional partners in our relationship.

I have a good memories of past multiple sex partners and I suppose it’s good enough at that.

 

[13Fantasies]

I do now, for the most part. We have a great marriage in nearly every way, but it became apparent a few years into our marriage that my sexual needs are greater and more complicated than his. I've learned to deal with it in various ways. As I get older, it has become easier.

Indeed

 

[magic_rat]

I was married for a long time and particularly in the latter stages, I had to keep secrets.

I'm now joyfully entering into a relationship with a cuckquean. Like a cuck guy, but the other way around. I get it on with others, she gets off on it.

So no, I no longer have to hide my desires. If i want to fuck someone else, or have a t-girl suck my cock, or get fucked by another guy... I just do it. Then I come home and boast about it, to cause her maximum humiliation.

How cool is that?

 

[DeLaFaye]

I've tried being very open with my husband and quite frankly, it hurt him to hear the truth. I do love him, but what we do doesn't leave me feeling fulfilled/happy/content. Now I simply don't bring it up. It's not going to go anywhere, nothing is going to come of it, and I have no desire to hurt him. So I keep it to myself. Well, myself and all of you lovelies!

 

[Vitriolhack]

I have to hide them. From the day we were married it became clear she was only interested in what she wanted... which was under the sheets, with the lights off, pure vanilla missionary position. Anything else was totally taboo. Now thought... now I know she only does that because she thinks it will make me happy and not because she enjoys it. Not looking for sympathy... just making a statement... and, that is why I write.

That’s ok Steve, I hope things work out for the both of you.

 

[ffdan]

Yes. Rejection sucks.

 

[Vitriolhack]

I've tried being very open with my husband and quite frankly, it hurt him to hear the truth. I do love him, but what we do doesn't leave me feeling fulfilled/happy/content. Now I simply don't bring it up. It's not going to go anywhere, nothing is going to come of it, and I have no desire to hurt him. So I keep it to myself. Well, myself and all of you lovelies!

How I understand what you write. It’s the, “I’m not good enough for you,” argument that I have given up on.

But, it’s ok, I am not complaining for the life choices I have made.

 

[Crownvic]

That’s ok Steve, I hope things work out for the both of you.

Not judging.Steve..

 

[Vitriolhack]

Not judging.Steve..

I would not ever judge anyone for their life choices.

 

[Crownvic]

I would not ever judge anyone for their life choices.

No Sir...I agree..

 

[Vitriolhack]

Yes. Rejection sucks.

Meaningful conversations are often the hardest to have as they risk fracas in the relationship.

I have been there many times and have learned that, at times, for me, it’s just worth the prolonged aggravation.

 

[agentXTrA]

Ive hid them like many of the comments posted here. There's a certain sting thas hard to shake when your sexual fantasies, needs have been looked upon with a grimace of disdain . Unworthy may be a bit strong,but a certain look could really hurt feelings

 

[LibertineDaddy]

Sexual "needs"... no .. not so much...

Some "wants" that tend toward the dark, perverted, and naughty.. yeah, probably.. simply because I know it isn't her thing, and I wouldn't want to put "pressure" on her to be someone she isn't.

 

[oldsoul24]

I wish my fiancé and I were more open about this stuff…it is one thing that worries me before we get married

 

[ctarrantella]

I've tried being very open with my husband and quite frankly, it hurt him to hear the truth. I do love him, but what we do doesn't leave me feeling fulfilled/happy/content. Now I simply don't bring it up. It's not going to go anywhere, nothing is going to come of it, and I have no desire to hurt him. So I keep it to myself. Well, myself and all of you lovelies!

I feel the same way at times. Sometimes I get the nerve to bring things up to my wife... see how the conversation goes. I usually end up forgetting about it as the result tends to be the same.

 

[magic_rat]

I'm in a fairly new relationship with a woman I met via swinging.

We decided from the outset that total honesty was an essential; we both like fucking other people, so no need to hide our desires for others. We're also into BDSM, so trust is a very important issue.

I have no reason to hide anything from her (and vice versa). So, when she says "I'd really get off on watching you suck cock" we find a bi guy for a 3some. If I want to explore my other side, say I want to try a dildo up my rear, I tell her. We know each-other's hard limits, so we know where not to go, but in an open relationship we're both free to find other partners who can satisfy that particular need without guilt (as an example my partner isn't big into being domme, I like to switch, so I go see a pretty young lady who likes it), and we can get back together after to compare notes.



Life is good.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Here’s how I see it if you don’t say anything then you don’t get what you want or even worse, they keep doing what you don’t like.

 

[Dashabout]

I've never kept anything from Bill from the moment we met.

 

[MissPennyLane]

I am extremely open and honest with my husband, as I am with all partners, but... we have extremely different needs & libidos. I've realised recently that me being quite so open, so often, can make him feel very pressured and I don't want that. I don't want him to feel he has to have sex with me. I want him to want to do it, not feel obliged.

I know that he does want to, but various reasons & life gets in the way etc and for me it's clearly a higher priority up my list than it is for him and that's fine too

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

Was in a good place over the last few years and we were opening up and sharing things we’d never have done before. Then a big falling out last summer and I find I’m not willing to share anything now.

We had a date night last Sat and the conversation was looking up (talking about things that had jump started our sex life previously) then she just wasn’t picking up what I was laying down…I shut down and our nice night ended with me going to bed early.

I’m honestly at a loss.

 

[spankableBelle]

I have so many thoughts about this, but what I will say is that I did try... Hints to very explicit terms. For a number of years, I tried with my spouse, but he shut me down every single time, until I simply gave up.
What sexual relationship there was, which there really wasn't, died more than 10 years ago.
Sometimes, for some, it's best to hide. For others, it kills you little by little until one day you wake up and realize how much of your life you've wasted. It's not just sex that it kills, but it eats away at other things within you, other things you've hidden because you didn't know what else about you would be rejected, and it eats away at the relationship. And once you wake up to it, there is no going back to sleep, there is only trying to figure out the path forward.