Do you tell your lover when you're cumming?

[Acktion]

TLDR; Yes.

Way, way back in the time that has mold and dust on the chronicles, my first ever sexual liaison had a major "thing" about my cum. Namely, she didn't want it in her, on her, or anywhere near her. And I was only too happy to be getting any to oblige... at first.

But, things changed (rather dramatically) after the eighth time she dumped me and came back three days later, crooking her finger and expecting me to heel. An old hard kernel, long fallow within me, germinated. All these decades of study, practice, and experience later, I look back on that first foray into D/s with contempt richly deserved as it was just about the ugliest example of how not to I can imagine (short of actual physical abuse). Angry and bitter, I didn't want her back that ninth time, at least at first, and, when she wouldn't accept "fuck no" pushed her hard intending to push her away.

I'll spare the less salient (not to mention less savory) details. But, sex became at my discretion and on demand. Right down to the fact that I would cum, damn it. And I would announce it was about to happen, which was her cue to name a specific location within five seconds or I'd put it where I damn well pleased. Or else, she could go the fuck away and quit bothering me.

***shrug*** Thank God, she took back enough of her soul after a year as my thrall to walk away the final time. I've learned a whole Hell of a lot since then, and (I hope) grown significantly. Still a Dominant (but apparently in a good way now).

However, when I am with a lover, the habit is too deeply engrained of saying... growling, actually... "Gonna make me cum" (usually about an hour or hour and a half into things) as her cue to add a specific request (and implied limit where not to) within five seconds (along with the usual "Thank fuck!") or "Thar she blows! And where she lands nobody knows!" (Always barring pre-discussed limitations, of course.)

It's about the best I can mimic consideration at that late stage of the (purely consensual every step of the way) game.

And if she's too shy or embarrassed (or lazy) to say, then she accedes the consequences as they play.

 

[Mb0754mm]

I think it’s proper to tell your partner when you are cumming..
I’m a male so depending on what we are doing there is semen coming their way.
They can then choose what to do with it..

 

[eroticspank]

As most of you can tell I really enjoy this thread.

I remember when I first started dating and having sex it was with an older woman and she always told me to tell her when I was getting close to orgasm. It was part of her way of helping me to last longer. In addition, IF she was close she could usually push herself to the finish line so we could cum together.

I also told her during BJs so she could pull me out and watch me squirt.

I was with a lady who squirted years later and she would announce her orgasm when I was giving her oral, which was very nice.

ES

 

[jehoram]

I start moaning her name as I am ready to explode...

Just be sure it's her name and not somebody else's. That could be awkward.

 

[eroticspank]

Just be sure it's her name and not somebody else's. That could be awkward.

Use "Honey" or "Darling"

ES

 

[ian370]

No need to necessarily have any preconceived notions at all. Sometimes it comes out of me and other times not. Just really depends on the moment. Sex does not do so well with a script. It can be hot hearing a woman's enjoyment in general. Does not have to specifically be an actual announcement of letting go. Hearing the culmination can no doubt be a turn on it itself. Then again, the element of surprise can be fun as well. There is also feeling and seeing everything also. When really in tune with someone, there really can be a sense of when that moment is coming just by being a bit observant. So long as all comes naturally, it's all good.

 

[JaniesGun69]

Oh yes, though even if I didn’t he would definitely still know.

 

[Wonderer67]

Nothing makes me cum faster than when my wife says she’s gonna cum , esp when having intercourse.

The conundrum is that we practice orgasm control (for me) so it’s really important that I let her know when I’m getting close so that we can stop, slow down and come off of “the edge” so I do not cum. She lets me cum every few weeks and it’s always a massive cum which feels amazing and is worth the wait.

Short answer yes, I let her know when I’m close.

 

[eroticspank]

Nothing makes me cum faster than when my wife says she’s gonna cum , esp when having intercourse.

The conundrum is that we practice orgasm control (for me) so it’s really important that I let her know when I’m getting close so that we can stop, slow down and come off of “the edge” so I do not cum. She lets me cum every few weeks and it’s always a massive cum which feels amazing and is worth the wait.

Short answer yes, I let her know when I’m close.

I think a lot of couples do this when they are trying to cum together. I know I do it with my wife and have done it with other women before I was married.

When we are doing a 69, I can usually tell when she is getting close but she doesn't know when I am getting there so I will tell her to slow done or that I am getting close. Then when her orgasm starts, she increases the pace of the HJ and we come together.

During intercourse, I think some guys don't say anything when they are getting close but switch positions or change the angle so they can last longer. I think it is hot to tell your lover how wonderful she feels and that she is getting you close to orgasm, as well as announcing your orgasm.

I like the edging description above, that is hot. After a certain amount of that, I am sure the woman can tell when her man is getting close both inside of her and out. That is great to know. I saw a video recently where the guy was tied to the bed face up and his wife was fucking him. Soon he was getting close to orgasm and asked her to stop. She slowed down for a bit, then looked at the camera and smiled. She sped up her thrusting and made him cum. He announced his orgasm very loudly. She came right after, the scene turned her on so much. (At least that is what she said in the interview after.)
ES

 

[Wonderer67]

I think a lot of couples do this when they are trying to cum together. I know I do it with my wife and have done it with other women before I was married.

It shows how important communication is for a good sexual relationship as well as during sex.

Loved your description of the video above.

 

[eroticspank]

It shows how important communication is for a good sexual relationship as well as during sex.

Loved your description of the video above.

Thank you. I agree communication is very important. I remember fucking a gf years ago. She was on the bed face up and I was standing up on the side of the bed holding her legs against my chest. She would shift her hips so I was hitting her spot and get her to orgasm. But that didn't feel as good to me, so I would move back into a position that got me closer. It was like we were wrestling for the right position. Finally, she said something like, "I am getting close" so I stayed in that position and she had a nice orgasm. Sure, I could have guessed what she was doing, but why? Communication works.

I must admit, I do like talking during sex. I rarely make it through a video that has no dialogue. It does not have to every second or faked/excess moaning. Just natural fun talk and passion.
ES

 

[Goldenfinger]

Use "Honey" or "Darling"

ES

I guess my name is god. As in oh god I’m cumming.

 

[Goldenfinger]

She does, I dont.

 

[Curvyscotswoman]

I am very vocal so he would have to be very dumd, or deaf, not to notice

 

[Escierto]

My girlfriend hardly makes a sound while she fucks even when she cums. I can tell from the small movements of her cock as it is pumping cum into my ass that she is having her orgasm. I would like her to be more vocal but she says she needs to focus and talking ruins her concentration. As it is I am happy with her doing what she needs to do in order to cum even if it means being quiet.

 

[Digrow4]

If your a guy you should always tell your woman when your about to cum. I also find it sexy when they tell me. Especially if they’re moaning it OMG! I sometimes don’t tell my partner because it’s hard to think straight in the moment.

 

[ihflrm]

Yes, even though she can always tell without words

 

[magicalmoments]

I prefer watching people having sex when the woman announces that she is about to come. I find watching sex where that does not happen less erotic.

 

[Wonderer67]

Many years ago I came in a woman’s mouth and she (rightfully so), got very upset with me. I was only 19 or 20.

It started me down a road of really trying to be a courteous partner.

Now my wife and I practice orgasm control, so I need to be very much on the same page about when I’m close.

She allows me to cum every 3-4 weeks so when I cum, it’s fucking explosive. My wife loves watching it.

 

[Filipinawife]

Yes mostly I do in a frantic way

 

[eroticspank]

It really turns me on to hear and watch a woman orgasm. The announcement part seems such a natural thing to me especially when a couple is trying to cum at the same time. I know I have probably mentioned that before. Another way to look at it is that it is like a "verbal surrender" the person is giving into their body and losing control. To me that is hot. I get that some people are concentrating on their feelings, being in the moment, or even trying not to cum, and that words do not come out.

I know the hottest videos I have seen have been with a couple that is verbal--not necessarily words. Example: There was a video I watched years ago. It started out with the couple kissing and lots of foreplay. There was some talk but mostly passion. As they moved on to intercourse there was more passion, smiles, and caressing. In your typical XXX video, the woman is moaning loudly at this point, and sounds like she is already on her way to orgasm. Not in this video. They kept making love and soon he was fucking her faster. She was meeting his thrusts and now she started to moan. He started moaning too and they both were getting very hot. They changed positions and it started off slow again. Soon they were at the same fever pitch point. I was on the edge of my seat. What was going to happen next? He slowed down to change positions again but she looked at him and said, "No don't. I want it now." I was so turned on by her words! She gave him the green light, so he started thrusting building up speed again. Her moans got higher and higher pitched, and he was yelling out..."OHHHHH" also getting close to his peak. You knew that they were going to cum so no need to say it, but somehow when she did yell it, "OHHHH YESSS I AM CUMMING!" It was SO HOT I almost came in my pants. Then he yelled out, "OH GOD ME TOO! I LOVE YOU!" etc. I don't remember the exact words but it went perfectly with their actions and they held each other tight through the tremors and spasms, kissing...

The words in this video were great, the icing on the cake. But a lot of it was their bodies speaking to the camera with passion and wonderful sounds of sex.

ES

 

[tallladiesman]

I do. I love the dirty talk. I'm gonna fill you up, I'm gonna flood your pussy, I'm gonna breed you etc, etc. It's all part of the fun.

 

[muycurioso]

Many years ago I came in a woman’s mouth and she (rightfully so), got very upset with me. I was only 19 or 20.

It started me down a road of really trying to be a courteous partner.

Now my wife and I practice orgasm control, so I need to be very much on the same page about when I’m close.

She allows me to cum every 3-4 weeks so when I cum, it’s fucking explosive. My wife loves watching it.

if someone is kind enough to give you a BJ you have to give her a warning. Hopefully she starts suoking harder. it has been a long time since I have had to give that warning.

 

[Pete55912]

Yes mostly I do in a frantic way

My wife does very rarely neeeds to tell me she is having a climax. She spasms a great deal.

 

[SecretAdmirer584]

Yes, most definitely.