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Does anyone here have a hard time getting laid?

Amberchgo said:
I'm guessing there is a big diff between guys and girls answers to this question.
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Well there is a big difference in perhaps what each needs, a girl perfers to be seduced and aroused, a guy will jump straight in perhaps without thinking;)
 
eric60red said:
Well there is a big difference in perhaps what each needs, a girl perfers to be seduced and aroused, a guy will jump straight in perhaps without thinking;)
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Very true. I love foreplay. Long, sensual foreplay that lasts for hours before he enters me...
 
Mercury_Maniac said:
Just curious.


It seems some have no issues at all having casual sex, unlike myself.
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Hmmmm. Re-reading your original post, are you saying you have issues with getting casual sex ? Or having casual sex ? Big difference.

If you merely want to get laid, if you want casual sex, you absolutely can find a prostitute and get it out of your system. It's that simple. That person does not have to like you. You have money, she has a job to do. It isn't about confidence, unless you're scared in general to talk to strangers. Of course you do have to worry about std's. But then again, they aren't exclusive to prostitutes by any means. You could get an std from anyone.

However...if you want to date, to be liked, to be cared for, to be loved, all that to go along with the sex...... well, like anything else worthy, it takes work ! It does take some level of confidence in yourself, liking yourself, knowing what you have to offer another, knowing somewhat what you're looking for in another. And then just taking chances. For some, taking chances is so risky and so scary they will never get past it. No matter how you feel about yourself.

It takes effort: trial and error, learning along the way what works for you and what doesn't, okay dates, bad dates, good dates, great dates. Relationships that are short, long term, for a while, and maybe if you're lucky, you'll find a woman you want to spend your life with. None of this is easy for anyone.

One things is for sure, Mercury. Time keeps dripping by and with every day that passes, you're getting older. One day the chances will come fewer and fewer. You're still young and good looking now. Whatcha gonna do when you're older, uglier, wrinkly, maybe hair loss sets in, maybe you get sickly, become infirm, maybe even impotent ? Compared to that, what have you got to lose, really, by taking a chance now ?

I know you're not looking for advice, with this thread you're looking to see how many others are in the same boat as you. But how is that going to change anything in your life ? They say we don't regret the things we did, as much as the things we didn't do. Do you want to spend your old age wallowing in that kind of regret ?
 
Oftentimes I think guys will assume that all attractive females they meet are taken, unless the woman in question specifically makes mention of he fat that they are unattached or make it very apparent. If you put it out there I do not doubt for a moment that you would have some takers. You certainly Are attractive enough and seem cool enough based on your posts.
 
Oftentimes I think guys will assume that all attractive females they meet are taken, unless the woman in question specifically makes mention of he fact that they are unattached or make it very apparent. If you put it out there I do not doubt for a moment that you would have some takers. You certainly Are attractive enough and seem cool enough based on your posts.
 
I have a great figure, quick whit and confidence. Not to mention I am a fun gal to hang around. So not a problem for me.
 
MrDillinger said:
Oftentimes I think guys will assume that all attractive females they meet are taken, unless the woman in question specifically makes mention of he fact that they are unattached or make it very apparent. If you put it out there I do not doubt for a moment that you would have some takers. You certainly Are attractive enough and seem cool enough based on your posts.
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It's more about intimidation in my experience. Guys have a lack of self confidence and so go for the easy ones. A lot don't try for the girl that's out of their league. So she says no...move on. She may just be having a bad day. Confidence goes a long way!
 
whynotjustsayit said:
Hmmmm. Re-reading your original post, are you saying you have issues with getting casual sex ? Or having casual sex ? Big difference.

If you merely want to get laid, if you want casual sex, you absolutely can find a prostitute and get it out of your system. It's that simple. That person does not have to like you. You have money, she has a job to do. It isn't about confidence, unless you're scared in general to talk to strangers. Of course you do have to worry about std's. But then again, they aren't exclusive to prostitutes by any means. You could get an std from anyone.

However...if you want to date, to be liked, to be cared for, to be loved, all that to go along with the sex...... well, like anything else worthy, it takes work ! It does take some level of confidence in yourself, liking yourself, knowing what you have to offer another, knowing somewhat what you're looking for in another. And then just taking chances. For some, taking chances is so risky and so scary they will never get past it. No matter how you feel about yourself.

It takes effort: trial and error, learning along the way what works for you and what doesn't, okay dates, bad dates, good dates, great dates. Relationships that are short, long term, for a while, and maybe if you're lucky, you'll find a woman you want to spend your life with. None of this is easy for anyone.

One things is for sure, Mercury. Time keeps dripping by and with every day that passes, you're getting older. One day the chances will come fewer and fewer. You're still young and good looking now. Whatcha gonna do when you're older, uglier, wrinkly, maybe hair loss sets in, maybe you get sickly, become infirm, maybe even impotent ? Compared to that, what have you got to lose, really, by taking a chance now ?

I know you're not looking for advice, with this thread you're looking to see how many others are in the same boat as you. But how is that going to change anything in your life ? They say we don't regret the things we did, as much as the things we didn't do. Do you want to spend your old age wallowing in that kind of regret ?
Click to expand...


no i wasn't talking about doing things with prostitutes, my take on that is if i have to pay for a woman to have sex with me, she doesn't wanna have sex with me and i don't wanna have sex with someone that doesn't wanna have sex with me.


i just don't really know what to do anymore, the cycle just continues like I don't have a say on anything that happens.
 
MrDillinger said:
You certainly Are attractive enough and seem cool enough based on your posts.
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Mercury_Maniac said:
no i wasn't talking about doing things with prostitutes, my take on that is if i have to pay for a woman to have sex with me, she doesn't wanna have sex with me and i don't wanna have sex with someone that doesn't wanna have sex with me.


i just don't really know what to do anymore, the cycle just continues like I don't have a say on anything that happens.
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Maniac, I want to second what MrDillinger says, and affirm you in what you just said about the shared desire thing.

Things can be explored only so far online like this. Is there someone you could open up to about all this one to one? It doesn't have to be a professional counselor or the like; It could be, just for instance, the wife in a couple you know really well and with whom you feel safe in their respect for you. In that kind of context, open up even more than you have done on this thread. And hear the good things they have to say about you, and take them to heart, and let them build in you a sense of your potential as a dear friend, and attractive man, with empathy, a lover-in-waiting. It's clear, like Dillinger has hinted, that the pieces of the jigsaw are all there in you; seems to me what's needed is some help for you to put them all together and get the picture.
 
Misshotndeep said:
It's more about intimidation in my experience. Guys have a lack of self confidence and so go for the easy ones. A lot don't try for the girl that's out of their league. So she says no...move on. She may just be having a bad day. Confidence goes a long way!
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It's bitter experience that teaches some of us not to bother in the first place.
I find it almost unbelievable how much, and how easily, so many of my friends get laid. I can only conclude that it's me, that there's something wrong. Who can tell anyway?
 
suckonsimon said:
Maniac, I want to second what MrDillinger says, and affirm you in what you just said about the shared desire thing.

Things can be explored only so far online like this. Is there someone you could open up to about all this one to one? It doesn't have to be a professional counselor or the like; It could be, just for instance, the wife in a couple you know really well and with whom you feel safe in their respect for you. In that kind of context, open up even more than you have done on this thread. And hear the good things they have to say about you, and take them to heart, and let them build in you a sense of your potential as a dear friend, and attractive man, with empathy, a lover-in-waiting. It's clear, like Dillinger has hinted, that the pieces of the jigsaw are all there in you; seems to me what's needed is some help for you to put them all together and get the picture.
Click to expand...



believe i or not i've been trying to reach out to a woman that i was hung up on for a very long time for some help a few days ago, instead i got slapped in the face in a misconstrued conversation that didn't appear to to be her and was her 'husband' telling me to fuck off after i politely asked for some help and advice.
 
Mercury_Maniac said:
believe i or not i've been trying to reach out to a woman that i was hung up on for a very long time for some help a few days ago, instead i got slapped in the face in a misconstrued conversation that didn't appear to to be her and was her 'husband' telling me to fuck off after i politely asked for some help and advice.
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OK so those two are no use to you and you now have the advantage of knowing that for sure. So ... the right people are ... ?? ... over to you mate. And if you give up once more because you get a knock back, ... grrr.
 
Something must be wrong with me because I've hit a long dry spell
 
I will say it again. Self confidence goes a long way in attracting partners. It's genetic to look for the strongest, most confidant and hormone producing partner. You want more ass. Fake it till you make it! Get out, smile, wink and flirt. It may take some time but the best things come to those who are persistent. Look at flirting as you would any skill. The more you do it the better you will get. Take cues from those around you. Watch body language. But don't complain if you won't do the work and expect instant gratification. It's not how the game is played...and it is a game.
 
suckonsimon said:
OK so those two are no use to you and you now have the advantage of knowing that for sure. So ... the right people are ... ?? ... over to you mate. And if you give up once more because you get a knock back, ... grrr.
Click to expand...



there aren't any right people.
 
Misshotndeep said:
I will say it again. Self confidence goes a long way in attracting partners. It's genetic to look for the strongest, most confidant and hormone producing partner. You want more ass. Fake it till you make it! Get out, smile, wink and flirt. It may take some time but the best things come to those who are persistent. Look at flirting as you would any skill. The more you do it the better you will get. Take cues from those around you. Watch body language. But don't complain if you won't do the work and expect instant gratification. It's not how the game is played...and it is a game.
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I think you're right to an extent, but there are way too many people this theory doesn't apply to, for various reasons. Nothing is all black and white

Interesting thread.
 
LadyVer said:
I think you're right to an extent, but there are way too many people this theory doesn't apply to, for various reasons. Nothing is all black and white

Interesting thread.
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Well ofc, nothing is absolute. If the world had no grey it would be very 2d and boring.
 
Getting laid is not the issue, its finding partners that actually excite me and are interested in exploring some of the same things I am….thats the issue.
 
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