Dom in a fight: What a Sub gonna do?

[3113]

I think the key to me in this situation is about "what everyone else thinks" about it, creating tension. Sure, it can, if you care about what everyone else thinks. But I don't.

But I'm not talking about what people think about you. I'm talking about what a person thinks about someone (or something) you *care* about. And I'm talking about thinking that might make a difference to that someone or something you care about.

For example (and we'll grant that this changes the hypothetical situation as it shifts the blame for the argument): if someone says to me, "I hear you're a slut," well, what the hell do I care what they think? Right? But let's imagine I have a sister. And that person says to me: "I hear your sister is a slut." Again, it might not matter. But if I think this person is spreading that around, if I think people might be listening to him, and if I think this might cause my little sister some real trouble--with her friends, at her work, in her neighborhood, at her church, or even with her husband....

NOW I might get rightly pissed at this guy. It's not that I care what the fuck he thinks about anything. But I do care about what people think about my sister if, thinking this, they may make her peaceful life miserable. You know as well as I that we live in a world where the merest hint that someone is a "sexual offender" can get them driven out of a neighborhood. Where judges and juries rule against people keeping their kids if they think that person is promiscuous or a sexual deviant. Where there is still a lot of harassment on the job and in schools on religious beliefs.

What people think may not matter to you and may have no affect on your life. But what people think can make life a misery for others. What people think can cut off funding, get an important measure voted down--and that, in turn, can make life harder and nastier for a lot of people. What people think has led to people losing their jobs or just peace of mind. So if someone says something to me that might lead to such misery...then there might be a confrontation between me and that someone.

 

[Recidiva]

But I'm not talking about what people think about you. I'm talking about what a person thinks about someone (or something) you *care* about. And I'm talking about thinking that might make a difference to that someone or something you care about.

For example (and we'll grant that this changes the hypothetical situation as it shifts the blame for the argument): if someone says to me, "I hear you're a slut," well, what the hell do I care what they think? Right? But let's imagine I have a sister. And that person says to me: "I hear your sister is a slut." Again, it might not matter. But if I think this person is spreading that around, if I think people might be listening to him, and if I think this might cause my little sister some real trouble--with her friends, at her work, in her neighborhood, at her church, or even with her husband....

NOW I might get rightly pissed at this guy. It's not that I care what the fuck he thinks about anything. But I do care about what people think about my sister if, thinking this, they may make her peaceful life miserable. I don't know what world you live in, but I live in one that includes people who, at the merest hint that someone is a "sexual offender" will want to drive that person out of the neighborhood. I live in a world where judges and juries rule against people keeping their kids if they think that person is promiscuous or a sexual deviant. I live in a world where there is still a lot of harassment on the job and in schools on religious beliefs.

What people think may not matter to you and may have no affect on your life. But what people think can make life a misery for others. What people think can cut off funding, get an important measure voted down--and that, in turn, can make life harder and nastier for a lot of people. What people think has led to people losing their jobs or just peace of mind. So if someone says something to me that might lead to such misery...then there might be a confrontation between me and that someone.

I do believe judges and juries rule according to evidence. That's a different thing.

And in my case my daughter once came home and said someone thought she was a wiccan lesbian. I said "Anything wrong with either of those things?" and she said "no" and that was pretty much the end of it. She sorta smiled and things didn't bother her any more. She even went out and got a T-shirt that said "Thank God Nobody Knows I'm A Lesbian" (she's not, but that's the funny part.)

What you are describing are cruel, stupid people. It only gets harder and nastier if you care about the opinions about cruel, stupid people, which I've attempted to train my kids and myself not to do.

Usually if you get all worked up, you're just adding to the drama. Laughing at it and seeing who is laughing with you, and who is judging, helps you become a better judge of character.

I admit having no conflict rarely makes a good story, though. It's just the way I do things. You want to believe whatever you believe? Fine. That's the way I tell the intelligent people from the assholes. I'm happy for the sign they hang around their necks.

 

[northwoods_sub]

Okay well it still comes down to my knowing he is wrong, but I wouldn't do anything about it at the scene. At that point, by the scenerio that you have laid out, I would run the very serious risk of being accused of taking the other persons point of view. At which time I would be the target of his anger. Not a position that I relish in being.
That doesn't mean that once he has left the situation and calmed down I wouldn't tell him what a complete idiot he had been. Just not at the time of the confrontation.

 

[DVS]

Sexy?

Now 'xcuse me. I need to . . . relieve myself. *fans self*

Why do all of these women live so fucking far away? It's a cruel, cruel world we live in. I could have such fun, at the expense of others and I just don't have the money to go where they are.

God, I'm horny.


I'm what you call an old and horny bastard. Look it up in the dictionary, if you want to see what I look like. I'm the bald one, on the left.

 

[katteon]

Maybe because my experience is with dominant men who are fabulously witty and brilliant, which means they'd either decide it wasn't worth disrupting the event/gathering/evening (and say nothing), or (if necessary) they'd verbally cut the guy to ribbons and walk away before he even knew it was happening. LOL

Well stated Cutie Mouse.....

 

[im_a_voyeur]

No, but I'll tell you a funny story.


Several months ago I went to see Apocolypto with C. During the movie there was a guy sitting several rows behind us that would scream during every action sequence.

Every time someone would get stabbed or clobbered over the head it was,

"OOOH SHIT!!!"

"BAM, HE TOOK IT!!"


It was unbearable. I sat in my seat steaming like a clam, trying unsuccessfully to ignore the offending patron. As we were leaving the theater I told him his behavior was totally rude and he needed to keep his mouth shut or something like that. I was walking away and he told his girlfriend in a loud voice that he was going to "bitch slap my punk ass."

Well, that was pretty much it. I turned around and slapped him in the face. Soon there was an all out brawl in the hallway of the theater. The other moviegoers seemed quite entertained as we drew a big crowd, theatrically throwing each other over garbage cans and such.

I caught a few glimpses of my beautiful sub C looking at me in disgust while all of this was going on. Normally this would've been fine, but while I was mid-fight with the assclown, his girlfriend was scratching my face and such. During a point where I had gained control of the situation, I asked C to please contain the female, to which she simply shook her head sadly.

Eventually, security approached us with me having the young buster in a headlock and his girlfriend ripping my necklace off. I think if the guard hadn't shown up at that moment, I would've punched his girl right in the face.

Cops came and took our names down, neither of us wanted to press charges and we left peacefully.

C and I had a bit of a discussion over this afterwards. She felt like I was being a child, I felt like she could've at least restrained the female.

Here's my take on this. I don't consider myself a common brawler. I usually sidestep situations like this rather artfully, but every once in a while there is a person who absolutely needs to get their asses kicked. If I make this decision, it would be cool for anyone in service to me to support it.

I'm not asking for her to jump in the dog pile, in fact, I would usually prefer she stay out of it completely, but this was an unusual situation in that I was also being attacked by a girl and I wasn't going to hit the girl.

Probably.

I hate when you retell a story and change some of the details.

When you asked me to get the girl off of you, I did restrain her but I also wasn't trying to start a fight with her so she still was able to get one or two hits afterwards. I couldn't have an arrest record a few months before I'm supposed to take my boards. I wasn't jeopardizing 2 years of school over a fight in the movie theatre.

Also, you totally instigated that fight. If it was a situation where someone attacked you out of nowhere, then it would have been a completely different situation. I would have been defending you.

 

[Marquis]

I hate when you retell a story and change some of the details.

When you asked me to get the girl off of you, I did restrain her but I also wasn't trying to start a fight with her so she still was able to get one or two hits afterwards. I couldn't have an arrest record a few months before I'm supposed to take my boards. I wasn't jeopardizing 2 years of school over a fight in the movie theatre.

Also, you totally instigated that fight. If it was a situation where someone attacked you out of nowhere, then it would have been a completely different situation. I would have been defending you.

Instigated?!

I merely suggested he be more considerate to the other viewers!!!

 

[saw_man1]

Heartbreaking

Instigated?!
I merely suggested he be more considerate to the other viewers!!!

It sounds to me like you were attacked viciously and without provocation. You fought back valiantly in an effort to subdue this crazed attacker and protect the innocent women and children nearby.

Sadly, in your hour of deepest need, you were abandoned by those closest to you.

 

[Marquis]

It sounds to me like you were attacked viciously and without provocation. You fought back valiantly in an effort to subdue this crazed attacker and protect the innocent women and children nearby.

Sadly, in your hour of deepest need, you were abandoned by those closest to you.

It's like you were there.

 

[im_a_voyeur]

It sounds to me like you were attacked viciously and without provocation. You fought back valiantly in an effort to subdue this crazed attacker and protect the innocent women and children nearby.

Sadly, in your hour of deepest need, you were abandoned by those closest to you.

Please do not encourage his foolishness.