Dom/me "Thought of the Day" calendar

[Mr Blonde]

May 13

Discussing how he first became aware of BDSM....

I was fascinated with bondage as a child, but in the 50's there were not too many "overt" images available in the media. At least, in the media available to a kid in the midwest, and Catholic to boot. I was exposed to more adult material when I joined the army back in the 60's, but didn't really become aware of the diversity of BDSM activities until later. I recall seeing a bondage catalogue for the first time about 1968, and thinking, "Wow, this is the kind of stuff I've been fantasizing about!"

--Bikewer link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 14

It took me awile to get the thought out of my head I had to be a certain way...to follow some unspoken rules to be a good Domme. Now that I have let that thought go my journey has been nothing but great. I am relaxed and contented and enjoy exploring all the wicked thoughts within my head. How and what you do is only up to you, and your sub, you will know what makes you both happy.

--Scarlett_t2 link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 15

I'd suggest that the desires of both parties in any relationship - be that a relationship that lasts 30 minutes or 30 years, vanilla or kinked-in-extreme - are pretty central to the success of that relationship! If a dom/me doesn't act with consideration for the limits of the sub then s/he isn't using but *ab*using the sub. If the dom/me isn't trying to create something that both will enjoy then s/he's just plain selfish.

--Arkontheroof (abridged) link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 16

When giving direction, it is imperative that We make sure that the directions are clear. And even if they are clear, we need to revisit them continually to make sure they are still understood and being adhered to. Also, we must be sure to be ready, willing, and able to take some definite action to prevent things from getting out of hand. And last, we must be prepareed to release a sub/slave [who] is continually defiant.

--Ebonyfire link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 17

I think a lot of subs out there give their submission too freely, not discussing the boundaries they have because in their minds they want to be the perfect sub who submits to whatever their dom/me wants. These subs have not looked inward and identified what makes them tick, what their real limits are, what they truly need from a Dom.

--zipman7 link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 18

[O]ften subs have fantasies of submission, and thoughts of flowers and roses. They do not think that somedays they may not like what they are asked to do. It is easy to submit to your kink. But not so easy to submit when you would rather not. Fantasy is easy; reality is challenging. If you believe submission is a gift, then what is it's value if it is a simple task and anyone can do it? The same can be said for Dominance.

--Ebonyfire link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 19

I wouldn't use the word "need" about myself and BDSM. I enjoy it, and it's going to be a part of any relationship I'm in (unless I meet the perfect girl, but if she's perfect she'll love getting spanked right?) For the most part it is limited to the bedroom for me, at least at first, it does tend to seep out.

--Croctden link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 20

Telling a male submissive where he can find a Domme...

Netzach: "We tend to hang out at Borders books."

MissTaken: "If you go to Walmart and look in Aisle 3, they are having a special on Dommes."

link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 21

I have been in a poly relationship with two of the most wonderful women in the world. Before I was with them I hadn't cried in over a decade. They have opened my heart and allowed me to feel inside. It still is difficult as when I do cry it's like a river trying to squeeze through a garden hose. To be able to share my pain with them is something I never realized would bring such closeness. I still have times where I feel ashamed that I'm not the solid rock that never shows his pain. I guess I started this for two reasons, one to thank my ladies for making me whole and another to just say I know it's nothing to be ashamed of and would tell the world if I had the chance. And the old saying is true sharing a good cry makes you feel so much better.

--Snoozebutton2 link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 22

Snapping the leash onto the ring of the collar and giving a final tug is one of the most satisfying moments for Me when I begin a new training. The sharp intake of breath from the one on their knees and the quiver that runs through the body magnifies the electricity in the air. Placing the leash between their teeth to hold themselves in bondage when I leave the room for a moment is a subtle test of their obedience.

--Shadowsdream link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 23

My voice is slow, quiet and Toni Braxton husky. When I am scening with my grrl/boi it becomes even more quiet, more concise and kind of clipped. My grrl tells me I can trance her with just my voice, so I guess that's a good thing.

--Luna_Wolf72 link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 24

Discussing the dominant ego...

I've said it before, and I'll no doubt say it again: Dom/mes are human. We fuck up. We recognise that.

Open communication is important to a relationship, and you should be able to discuss fuck ups. Say it respectfully, but say it.

You might, but i don't ... tripping over my own ego on the way to the throne.

Most have said open communication, assumption being the mother of all fuck-ups.

i'll add control of pride. How the hell does a PYL ever get better if said PYL can't? Some of us need to get to the gym, others need a "broadening of the horizons" when it comes to taste in fashion, still others could use a little brush up in culture appreciation.

And how precious the pyl that opens the eyes of their PYL to things they've avoided, or never entertained.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=263940

[SIZE=0.5]Thanks to Kajira Callista for this contribution![/SIZE]

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 25

While I am a fairly inexperienced dom, I have done a bit of "training" with my current partner. I found it to be quite easy. I think mostly because it was something that she wanted, and was willing to practice. I think it is important if you both want it. I don't think it's something needed.

--NCShin (abridged) link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 26

Trust is established through honesty and becomes the building block needed to sustain a relationship as intense and complex as the one that hinges on the D/s conception. Trust is earned on both sides of the equasion and of course it goes without saying that it cannot be earned..EVER..if it is expected to be found in dishonesty. The Dominant will easily bore of the submissive that plays the vanilla head games already known to destroy relationships.

--Shadowsdream link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 27

What I love to do is find what my partner thinks her limits are and very gradually push them. What people believe their limits are, and what they really are, I find is a vast difference. It's amazing how far they really will go if you take it very slowly. It's like the old story of the frogs in boiling water.

--mcfbridge link

 

[FungiUg]

Yay! Good to see this thread back!

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 28

I was led into the lifestyle many years ago by a very lovely lady, she was a born sub and she had recognized that I was her counterpart, we had a wonderful 2 years before circumstances forced us apart.. Life goes on, or does it???

--knight88 link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 29

I keep My toys naked at all times in private. When the home is unseasonably hot they are in heaven and I could just beat thier satisfied asses as I suffer with the heat. When it is cold they are always asking if they can wear socks..this is when I must use compassion or not!

--Shadowsdream link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 30

Describing the initial session with a brand new submissive...

I would welcome you at the door in a pleasant and no nonsense way, teasing you about the sweat running down your face and the tremble in your body. I would direct you where to hang your jacket and place your shoes. I would tell you to join Me in My living room where you would find Me sitting in the black leather chair of My choice. I would speak to you for 3 or 4 minutes as you stood awkwardly in front of Me. Then...I would direct you to undress before Me...making certain you knew to remove your socks before your pants and to fold your clothes neatly placing them in the directed location. I would have you kneel in the present and display position before Me and then I would begin a gentle talk about your journey to Me that day as well as your hopes and dreams of a future if I chose you to be Mine one day. I would explain that I was about to do an inspection of the body you were offering to Me. I would explain why I do it. Before begining the examination I would place a training collar and cuffs on you to give you a feeling of security. I may also attach My leash to the ring of the collar to show My control. My hands would explore your head, face, throat, neck, shoulders, chest, nipples, arms, hands, belly, thighs, cock, balls and all the time I would be explaining what I saw with My hands, why the inspection was not meant to humiliate but to explore your health and well being. I would move behind you and begin the exploration again, missing no part of your body and never discontinuing the soothing with My voice. This is a bare bones description of the first 30 minutes in My control.

--Shadowsdream link

 

[Mr Blonde]

May 31

I never accept a submissive to be Mine before they have done a minimum of four months of training. This will not necessarily be 4 months of daily training but the time span under My real time control will be a minimum of four months.

--Shadowsdream link

 

[Mr Blonde]

June 1

I have questioned myself,...my motives for CONTROL, for many, many years. I kept DOUBTING my NEED for control to the EXACTNESS I have always demanded. Often I would ponder and ponder upon my NEED to control,... searching for an EXCUSE to change my own personality. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to SEE outside of myself,...how CONTROL is not a BAD thing. (I had DOUBTS-*BIG TIME*)

--artful link

 

[Mr Blonde]

June 2

[T]he first time doing a public scene, even if the entire visible public is members of the same play party, can be a bit intimidating... but it's also exciting, exhilirating, and addictive.

--sir_Winston54 link

 

[Mr Blonde]

June 3

Half the whacky shit that happens in the heads of people can be avoided with a little honest, brutal if necessary, communication.

--AngelicAssassin link

 

[Mr Blonde]

June 4

[M]ore than 30 years of Dominance, and more than 50 years of living have taught me two things beyond doubt:
(1) If you don't try to do what you want to do, you will always regret it.
(2) The only person who never makes a mistake is the one who does nothing.

--sir_Winston54 link

 

[Mr Blonde]

June 5

Control can be a double-edged sword, but, like anything done well, soul satisfying.

--AngelicAssassin link