Found out boyfriend is bi-curious

[Harold_Hill]

maybe he enjoys it just because he's particularly sensitive back there? Or maybe all men are equally sensitive but only a few know it (for having the guts to try it)?

So.... how does it all work? It's very interesting and I'd love to get to the bottom of it (no pun intended).

Just to answer your question. A normal male prostate is sexually sensitive. When you stimulate a man's prostate, (by whatever method, finger, dildo or cock), most men will become very aroused. Most men don't know it because as you say, they don't have the guts to try it. For many men, a cock/dildo in the ass feels as good as a cock in your pussy. So yes, there is a real physical reason he likes it.

 

[Harold_Hill]

I recall when Gay was a depraved mental disorder, a crew of perfessers made it chic with their vote. Maybe they'll change their minds and vote anew. But people sucked cocks when it was a mental illness and illegal. People drank alcohol when it was illegal. People drink it legally and many experience hell on earth from it. But the question is, is sucking a cock a good idea when youre married? No it isn't.

I would be interested in hearing your opinion as to why sucking a cock isn't a good idea when a man is married if it doesn't damage the marriage.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

This is a wonderful thing to hear! Keep the attitude up!

I gave this topic a bit more thought... It's a difficult one. What does a man's attraction to men even mean? Are we even able to define it?

If I think about it through my husband, for him it means getting aroused by the thought of being intimate with a man. It means getting aroused by men visually. It doesn't mean having romantic feelings towards a man. I don't know if it's because he just isn't romantically wired towards men or because he's hardly romantically wired towards anyone. It's only been me and two others girls in the past.

He's said he loves my pussy, but doesn't crave a pussy. He loves my body, but isn't interested / aroused in bodies of women in general. But then again he can describe the most arousing male bodies in every little detail. He enjoys watching them, talking about them and - back in his youth - touching them too. Without anything turning romantic.

So how do we satisfy his attraction towards men in our straight, monogamous marriage? As I said, we use realistic dildos and do anal play. But maybe he enjoys it just because he's particularly sensitive back there? Or maybe all men are equally sensitive but only a few know it (for having the guts to try it)? Or maybe he really is particularly sensitive because it somehow goes hand in hand with his sexual attraction to men?

After all, I can pound him with a strap-on for the rest of my life but it still doesn't mean he's having sex with a man! He's having sex with a woman in a way many men have sex with each other. Would that be enough if he was really emotionally attracted to men as well? Enjoying anal play in general doesn't make one gay, that's for sure. So does it have anything to do with male-to-male attraction at all? After all, (excluding mouth) it's the only hole men got, so if gay folk want to fuck they're a bit short on choices.

So.... how does it all work? It's very interesting and I'd love to get to the bottom of it (no pun intended).

Prepare yourself to be dumped for a sodamigo.

 

[MissJW]

There seems to be a lot of men today who love women, (many even happily married, and raising a family), but are drawn to the physical act of male/male sex without any emotional attachment to the man. I guess while anyone engaging in same gender sex could be technically defined as homosexual (by Websters), I think in the real world, bi sexual and homosexual are not the same thing. Just my opinion, but I think, (the court of public opinion), should consider the emotional attachment before branding someone gay or bi. Just my opinion, but I think the emotional attraction/attachment defines whether a person is gay or straight regardless of the sex act involved. I think a person who enjoys same gender sex should still be considered straight if that person's primary emotional attraction is to the opposite sex. Perhaps in some cases, instead of someone being labeled bi or gay, hetero-flexible might be a better way of describing a person's attraction to same gender sex..

I agree with all of this 100%. And of course we can take all this a lot further with pansexuality and polysexuality and what not.. And even more further if we start to think about for example folk who identify as genderqueer and what not.

Being a straight cisgender girl myself (who loves a beautiful male body and has no problem in understanding someone else loves it as well - despite gender and orientation) I can only imagine how horribly confusing and hard it must be if one's unsure / ashamed about their own sexuality. Love is love and lust is lust. If the above is coupled with mutual consent, no-one should have a problem with it.

 

[MissJW]

Just to answer your question. A normal male prostate is sexually sensitive. When you stimulate a man's prostate, (by whatever method, finger, dildo or cock), most men will become very aroused. Most men don't know it because as you say, they don't have the guts to try it. For many men, a cock/dildo in the ass feels as good as a cock in your pussy. So yes, there is a real physical reason he likes it.

I'm quite familiar with the prostate Obviously not from the receiving end, but we've spent years playing with it. Yet still I wouldn't compare it with the feelings we girls get from having a dick inside. Not all girls have / feel their g-spot (which is the closest comparison to a prostate) and unfortunately the majority of girls won't orgasm from internal stimulation alone. Vaginas just aren't very sensitive deep inside. And this is coming from a girl who CAN orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone!

Then again I do know prostate-o's can also require training and special type of relaxation, but most men can get it going if they have the patience and skill. But for girls... nope, many just don't get IT with their pussies. Which is very sad.


------- Edit.

I feel I still need to elaborate this.

If you want to find a girls g-spot, most of us need to be very aroused - preferably even recently orgasmed. So make us cum and it might surface, might! Then if you find it, you must use force and really give it a good thumb-pounding. If you succeed, the girl can feel anything from irritation onwards. Pain, pressure, need to pee, pleasure - or just nothing.

Whereas if you get past the sphincter you'll find the prostate. When it's found, all it needs is a little tickle, you can't use force at all. So tickle it and bam! Instant pleasure or at least intense feelings! No automatic prostate-o's of course, but still something out of the ordinary. And good for you, I'm genuinely happy guys have such a delicious spot inside them and I love giving my husband massive pleasure through it but... Nope, unfortunately prostate and g-spot cannot be compared.

But anyway, I'm sorry OP, I'm babbling way too much off topic. Will back down and join in if there's anything you need to ask me. Otherwise it's time to stop (accidentally) hijacking this thread!

 

[CocksuckingSub81]

Bi-curious: The perspective of a sub

I can relate a little to what you are going through. I found out that a Dom was bi-curious and my immediate reaction was negative. But then I took a second and thought about it….

I had an online Dom who was VERY good at pushing my boundaries. One of the things he wanted me to consider was eating pussy. Now, that has never been appealing to me at all. But he was a great Dom and I desperately wanted to please him. So I began by reading stories that included women eating pussy. I thought about it and worked it into my fantasies in some way. I wrote a story about it. I talked to my Dom more about it. I have come to the point now that I fantasize about my Dom making me eat pussy. Not so much the act itself, but the submission to it.

Anyway, it helped me think about his perspective, why he might be curious, or even act on that curiosity. How is it different than my fantasy? If he put a cock in his mouth will that change who he is? If he had anal sex with another guy is he forever "marked."

I imagine you are feeling like you don't even know him any more. That he's not who you thought he was. That is a hard situation to face. But if you can get through this, talk about this, find a way to deal with this, imagine how much stronger your bond will be. And how much more trust there can be….if you are able to accept this part of him that he has been hiding, that he has been afraid to reveal, it builds trust in your love for him.

Everybody is different. I think part of the question is are you turned off at the though of him with a man, or the thought of him with anyone but you? Maybe you could try reading some stories online about bisexual men. I've found, to my surprise, that they are very erotic. And after some calm reflection and some exploration (by reading stories) I have a different view….it's not an automatic deal breaker for me anymore.

A lot of people have given you some good advice….communication, communication, communication. But I would try to do it when you are both calm, can talk openly, and are able to think about what your partner is saying and not just having an immediate gut reaction to it.

We have been conditioned by society to accept some things, and reject some things….I say don't beat yourself up over your initial reaction. But I also say try to understand your boyfriend's perspective and consider why he may have felt unable to discuss this with you.

And I highly recommend reading, thinking about it and see what your reaction is and how it might change with some non-biased exposure to it.

Good luck to you and to your boyfriend!

 

[simplegirl]

I find it interesting that as a child's development, when they approach puberty, that it's normal for them to check out their friends, i.e.: you show me yours and I'll show you mine, playing doctor, etc... whether it be same sex or opposite. Now why isn't it considered "normal" for an adult to explore?

To the OP... I commend you for keeping a level head and approaching this in a positive manner. I can imagine that perhaps your partner kept it private, not to exclude you, but perhaps out of fear. Fear of rejection, you thinking him disgusting, think him less of a man, etc... I think patience and understanding will get you both far.

 

[Leeleigh]

James, since you aren't offering anything but negativity, I am going to politely ask you to butt out of the conversation, or refrain from making more negative comments since you are not helping.

I do appreciate the comments that I am getting from people who understand my dilemma and are offering me constructive information. Ironically he and I met on Literorica, so I guess it seems right that I come here for help.

We do love each other. We both want to spend the rest of our lives together.. we just have to find a way to explore this and see where it goes. We are talking, he is leaving his message information open for me to read, if I so wish.. I haven't since I made my discovery last week.. If I want this to work, we have to have trust.. I may find myself doing things that are not something that I really want to do, but realistically we all have had moments where we have to do something to take care of the needs of someone we love. I guess I will have to imagine I am putting a thermometer instead of a dildo up his ass.. Who knows, in the long run it might improve our sex life.

 

[zach20092]

James, since you aren't offering anything but negativity, I am going to politely ask you to butt out of the conversation, or refrain from making more negative comments since you are not helping.

I do appreciate the comments that I am getting from people who understand my dilemma and are offering me constructive information. Ironically he and I met on Literorica, so I guess it seems right that I come here for help.

We do love each other. We both want to spend the rest of our lives together.. we just have to find a way to explore this and see where it goes. We are talking, he is leaving his message information open for me to read, if I so wish.. I haven't since I made my discovery last week.. If I want this to work, we have to have trust.. I may find myself doing things that are not something that I really want to do, but realistically we all have had moments where we have to do something to take care of the needs of someone we love. I guess I will have to imagine I am putting a thermometer instead of a dildo up his ass.. Who knows, in the long run it might improve our sex life.

Live and let live!!! the last line might be the best approach!! think about 2 times the opportunity

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

James, since you aren't offering anything but negativity, I am going to politely ask you to butt out of the conversation, or refrain from making more negative comments since you are not helping.

I do appreciate the comments that I am getting from people who understand my dilemma and are offering me constructive information. Ironically he and I met on Literorica, so I guess it seems right that I come here for help.

We do love each other. We both want to spend the rest of our lives together.. we just have to find a way to explore this and see where it goes. We are talking, he is leaving his message information open for me to read, if I so wish.. I haven't since I made my discovery last week.. If I want this to work, we have to have trust.. I may find myself doing things that are not something that I really want to do, but realistically we all have had moments where we have to do something to take care of the needs of someone we love. I guess I will have to imagine I am putting a thermometer instead of a dildo up his ass.. Who knows, in the long run it might improve our sex life.

I'm the official HT BRIDGE OUT AHEAD signage with blinker lights. Strike another match, girl, start anew!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=af7ngGxEusE

 

[Kumo163]

Just because someone is not monosexual (aka pansexual/omnisexual, bisexual, polysexual, etc), does NOT make them more eligible to cheat. Just because someone likes dicks and vagina, doesn't mean they suddenly have a repulsion for one, over the other. So many questions and insecurities can be solved by just talking to your partner(s) and figuring out who likes what, who is comfortable with what, uncomfortable with what, etc.

The prostate can be stimulated without anal penetration. Reach under the man, between his sack and his anus, and rub GENTLY (no nails, just use the pads of your finger tips). The prostate is basically equal to a woman's clitoris in terms of sexual pleasure.

James, honestly? Shut up. You sound like someone who never got past the 1960s of "OMG, FEAR THE GAYS! THEY'RE ALL AIDS INFECTED!" Newsflash: a man can suck a cock and not be gay. A man can enjoy anal sex, and not be gay. Plenty of heterosexual couples engage in anal sex. A person can be in a poly-based relationship and have everyone be in sane/right state of mind. The APA removed homosexual from the DSM during the 1960s-1970s, because they saw that it was NOT a mental disorder (just like asexuality isn't one). Ever hear of the Kinsey scale and the research alfred kinsey did? You might want to educate yourself with the research that basically started the field in America for human sexuality.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Just because someone is not monosexual (aka pansexual/omnisexual, bisexual, polysexual, etc), does NOT make them more eligible to cheat. Just because someone likes dicks and vagina, doesn't mean they suddenly have a repulsion for one, over the other. So many questions and insecurities can be solved by just talking to your partner(s) and figuring out who likes what, who is comfortable with what, uncomfortable with what, etc.

The prostate can be stimulated without anal penetration. Reach under the man, between his sack and his anus, and rub GENTLY (no nails, just use the pads of your finger tips). The prostate is basically equal to a woman's clitoris in terms of sexual pleasure.

James, honestly? Shut up. You sound like someone who never got past the 1960s of "OMG, FEAR THE GAYS! THEY'RE ALL AIDS INFECTED!" Newsflash: a man can suck a cock and not be gay. A man can enjoy anal sex, and not be gay. Plenty of heterosexual couples engage in anal sex. A person can be in a poly-based relationship and have everyone be in sane/right state of mind. The APA removed homosexual from the DSM during the 1960s-1970s, because they saw that it was NOT a mental disorder (just like asexuality isn't one). Ever hear of the Kinsey scale and the research alfred kinsey did? You might want to educate yourself with the research that basically started the field in America for human sexuality.

I prolly read Kinsey and Masters/Johnson before you were born. Gay was a mental illness when Kinsey did his study. DSM 3 removed homosexuality as a mental illness. Removing it by vote doesn't mean the perfessers got it right. And appetite for something doesn't mean its good for you. I've been around for a while, and seen many fads come and go. Every time some quack erects a tent at the county fair all the idgits beat a path to it for the latest flavor Peruna.

 

[Eilan]

I'm not challenging your opinion, just wanted to add a thought. Because of the openness and tolerance in our culture today, sexuality has become a complex thing for men. Just because a man is bi-curious, it doesn't automatically mean that he is attracted to men per se. There are a lot of bi curious men who are attracted to the excitement of the sex act, but not attracted to the man emotionally. A lot of bi curious and bi sexual men are drawn to male/male sex for the physical pleasure, but would never dream of kissing or hugging another man.

Yeah, these so-called "straight" men ruined the LGBT Board with their cock fetishes. Just like straight men ruin the Internet in general.

I'm not necessarily one for labeling people, but I also think there's a subset of "straight" men in denial about their desires who engage in behaviors that put their unsuspecting partners at risk for STIs. That said, I also think that most of the male-male sexual experiences shared on these boards are a combination of hot air and wishful thinking.

 

[Harold_Hill]

I recall when Gay was a depraved mental disorder

You are right, there was a time when homosexuality was considered a mental disorder, and there was also a time when non-whites were considered sub-human and mental disorders were treated with lobotomy and electroshock. Ignorance and anger didn't make it a good world to live in then, nor does it make it a good world to live in now. I don't know what went wrong in your life that makes you so twisted and angry, but you need to get over it and stop wasting your life being angry toward things you can do nothing about. I understand that you don't like gay people, (a lot of people don't), but if you don't like gay people, why surround yourself with them? By coming here, that is exactly what you are doing, surrounding yourself with people you don't like. Why not surround yourself with people you like and do something positive with your life? Your clock is ticking just like everyone else's. Is that what you really want, waste the rest of your life being angry at things you can't change?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

You are right, there was a time when homosexuality was considered a mental disorder, and there was also a time when non-whites were considered sub-human and mental disorders were treated with lobotomy and electroshock. Ignorance and anger didn't make it a good world to live in then, nor does it make it a good world to live in now. I don't know what went wrong in your life that makes you so twisted and angry, but you need to get over it and stop wasting your life being angry toward things you can do nothing about. I understand that you don't like gay people, (a lot of people don't), but if you don't like gay people, why surround yourself with them? By coming here, that is exactly what you are doing, surrounding yourself with people you don't like. Why not surround yourself with people you like and do something positive with your life? Your clock is ticking just like everyone else's. Is that what you really want, waste the rest of your life being angry at things you can't change?

God wants me to save your soul and the lives of all the naïve people you confuse and lead astray.

 

[Harold_Hill]

Yeah, these so-called "straight" men ruined the LGBT Board with their cock fetishes. Just like straight men ruin the Internet in general.

I'm not necessarily one for labeling people, but I also think there's a subset of "straight" men in denial about their desires who engage in behaviors that put their unsuspecting partners at risk for STIs. That said, I also think that most of the male-male sexual experiences shared on these boards are a combination of hot air and wishful thinking.

You know, you seem as twisted and angry as J Johnson. The problem with trying to have a productive discussion is that we have to put up with people who can't see anything but their own dogmatic point of view. Both the extreme left and the extreme right seem to believe there are only gay people and straight people. Most people, (probably 90% or more of the population), live in the real world where everything is not so cut-and-dried. Life must be awfully boring when you can have only one point of view. Maybe you and J Johnson should get together. You both seem to have a lot in common; namely, anger and intolerance.

 

[Harold_Hill]

God wants me to save your soul and the lives of all the naïve people you confuse and lead astray. He said, JIMBO? HAROLD IS A SICK FUCK. GO DO SOMETHING WITH HIM BEFORE I DROP A HOUSE ON HIS FAGGY ASS.

Really? God speaks to you? We should call the Vatican. Since you have a direct line to God himself, I'm sure the Pope is going to want to talk to you. They need your divine guidance in Rome. Jimbo, if nothing else, you are entertaining.

 

[Eilan]

You know, you seem as twisted and angry as J Johnson. The problem with trying to have a productive discussion is that we have to put up with people who can't see anything but their own dogmatic point of view. Both the extreme left and the extreme right seem to believe there are only gay people and straight people. Most people, (probably 90% or more of the population), live in the real world where everything is not so cut-and-dried. Life must be awfully boring when you can have only one point of view. Maybe you and J Johnson should get together. You both seem to have a lot in common; namely, anger and intolerance.

Look, you goddamned fucking herpes-ridden cockbiting shit-stirring "straight man" n00b: I don't give a goddamned fuck in hell who people fuck or what they identify as sexually.

Despite what my registration date might suggest, I've been around Lit since 2001. My goddamned fucking baby toe knows more about the dynamics of this entire fucking forum than you could ever fucking hope to know. I've fucking SEEN this shit on here firsthand, so I sure as fuck don't need the likes of you to mansplain a goddamned fucking thing to me. You've never made one worthwhile goddamned contribution to any discussion you've been a part of, so maybe you should just quit while you're behind.

It's not my fault your whore of a sister won't screw you with a stolen pussy. Now why don't you go sit in the corner with her cum-soaked panties on your head and jerk your pathetic little peen while the rest of us try to have an adult discussion. And maybe fuck off and die while you're at, you fucking twatcrust.

 

[Harold_Hill]

Look, you goddamned fucking herpes-ridden cockbiting shit-stirring "straight man" n00b: I don't give a goddamned fuck in hell who people fuck or what they identify as sexually.

Despite what my registration date might suggest, I've been around Lit since 2001. My goddamned fucking baby toe knows more about the dynamics of this entire fucking forum than you could ever fucking hope to know. I've fucking SEEN this shit on here firsthand, so I sure as fuck don't need the likes of you to mansplain a goddamned fucking thing to me. You've never made one worthwhile goddamned contribution to any discussion you've been a part of, so maybe you should just quit while you're behind.

It's not my fault your whore of a sister won't screw you with a stolen pussy. Now why don't you go sit in the corner with her cum-soaked panties on your head and jerk your pathetic little peen while the rest of us try to have an adult discussion. And maybe fuck off and die while you're at, you fucking twatcrust.

Have you considered anger management therapy?

 

[midwestyankee]

Have you considered anger management therapy?

Are you kidding? That was a love letter. Sharpen up those reading comprehension skills, bro.

 

[Leeleigh]

James and Eilan, this is my thread, my discussion, my questions and my dilemma, go find someone else to harass or else I will ask Lit to find a playmate for you both! I am not asking again for both of you to butt the fuck out. I am looking for help and constructive advise, not assholes being assholes!

 

[Garnate]

Leeleigh is right, you guys want to post like assholes, take it to the GB where it's appreciated. Thanks.

 

[Leeleigh]

Thank you Garnate, I forgot the forum leaders read some of the threads and will occasionally step in when there appears to be a problem.

 

[Garnate]

Thank you Garnate, I forgot the forum leaders read some of the threads and will occasionally step in when there appears to be a problem.

Someone's post in this thread was actually reported, which helps keep this place relatively sane.

 

[Saint Peter]

Leeleigh is right, you guys want to post like assholes, take it to the GB where it's appreciated. Thanks.