Found out boyfriend is bi-curious

[Garnate]

You and I love the GB because we can post like assholes. It's basically a requirement over there.

 

[Saint Peter]

You and I love the GB because we can post like assholes. It's basically a requirement over there.

There is a little GBer in all of us.

 

[Harold_Hill]

I recently discovered my boyfriend of many years is bi-curious and I am struggling over how to handle this. I love him, but don't know if I can do what might interest him. I need some honest help cause I am way out of my depth.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.

Another thought to keep in mind. Sometimes the fantasy is more exciting than the reality. Just because your boyfriend is bi-curious, it doesn't automatically mean that he is ready to take this to real-time. Fantasizing about being with another man is a lot different than being on your knees in front of a man with his cock in your mouth and swallowing his cum. It is possible that your boyfriend is romanticizing the fantasy, and hasn't really thought it through.

Also keep in mind, if you do decide to help your boyfriend with his fantasy, you don't have to jump in the deep end of the pool on the first day. You can start in the wading pool, (so to speak), and start with smaller fantasies that are easier for you to deal with emotionally/psychologically. In other words, don't let him push you into anything you're not ready for.

One thing you might let him do is after you and he has had sex, (and he cums in you), let him give you oral sex and taste his own cum. (If he has never done that, that may not be as easy for him as it sounds) Another thing you might do is buy a realistic dildo, (with a strap-on harness), and let him suck it while you are wearing it. There are dildos, (and other sex toys), on the market that look and feel very realistic.

And if he decides he wants anal sex, you can give him that with a strap-on. If you do decide to go that far, read all you can about how it is done. What lube(s) to use, how to keep it clean, etc. Some men even give themselves an enema before hand just to keep it clean. By taking it slow, (starting in the wading pool), you may be able to fill his fantasy enough so that he really doesn't need a man in real-time.

And if at some time in the future, (and "in the future" is the operative phrase), you and he decide to bring another man into the bed room, create a few fantasies of your own. If there are going to be two men in the bedroom, you might as well take advantage of the opportunity yourself. This should not be about *his* fantasies only. Take your time and think about exploring your own fantasies too.

Whatever you and he decide, it should be exciting and fulfilling for both of you. It shouldn't be just for his benefit only. I mean, after all you are a member of Lit, so you must have some fantasies of your own? This should be about your growth as a sensual woman, not just his fantasy.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

You know, you seem as twisted and angry as J Johnson. The problem with trying to have a productive discussion is that we have to put up with people who can't see anything but their own dogmatic point of view. Both the extreme left and the extreme right seem to believe there are only gay people and straight people. Most people, (probably 90% or more of the population), live in the real world where everything is not so cut-and-dried. Life must be awfully boring when you can have only one point of view. Maybe you and J Johnson should get together. You both seem to have a lot in common; namely, anger and intolerance.

Standards and values! Just cause the board has a floor you don't get to track shirt every where. And if dearie wants to recruit some men for her boyfriend, take it to the Personals.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Leeleigh is right, you guys want to post like assholes, take it to the GB where it's appreciated. Thanks.

^^^^^^^a hostess at Come & Go: Gas, Groceries, Sundries, & More!

 

[Leeleigh]

Ah, that explains it.. I am curious as to why the thread was moved..

 

[Garnate]

Ah, that explains it.. I am curious as to why the thread was moved..

I moved it to the HT Café because it's not as much of a how-to thread as it is a relationship advice thread. The café is for all kinds of general discussion. Hopefully you weren't offended; it's all part of the same forum.

 

[Harold_Hill]

Standards and values! Just cause the board has a floor you don't get to track shirt every where. And if dearie wants to recruit some men for her boyfriend, take it to the Personals.

How can anger and intolerance be worthwhile values for anyone?

 

[Leeleigh]

Harold, coming here and seeking help was my way of dipping my toes into the pool.. Where else to get advice than to go someplace where there are people who are living that way.

Its been a rough week for me so far.. I can tell from some of his comments to me that he is concerned that I am bottling up my feelings and emotions regarding this situation.. to some degree I guess I am, cause I am trying to sort everything out in my head, wondering what I can and am willing to do, and what is going to be deal breakers.

 

[Leeleigh]

Harold, James is here, at Lit cause he either has some perversion of his own, bestiality most likely since he has the personality of a wart hog.. Bet he buys peanut butter by the case..... or because he is such a sterling example of an absolute asshole, that women avoid him like a case of herpes.. The only way he can get laid, it to read the stories, comments and posts here at Lit while he diddles himself!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

How can anger and intolerance be worthwhile values for anyone?

I was outside reading when I observed how one of my trees scatters its seeds. It never learned how to do it in public school. Its antecedents tried all kinds of ways until the present process solved the problem.

The meaning of life is scattering your seeds and adding your genes to the next generation of life. Fags fail at it, and most become extinct forever. Dearie needs to understand that she's opting for extinction.

 

[Harold_Hill]

Harold, coming here and seeking help was my way of dipping my toes into the pool.. Where else to get advice than to go someplace where there are people who are living that way.

Its been a rough week for me so far.. I can tell from some of his comments to me that he is concerned that I am bottling up my feelings and emotions regarding this situation.. to some degree I guess I am, cause I am trying to sort everything out in my head, wondering what I can and am willing to do, and what is going to be deal breakers.

I can understand how difficult this is for you. Maybe you need to take a break for a while and let things settle down in your mind. The weather should be getting better in Alaska this month, (not knowing since I have never been there), maybe you should take a few days off, maybe a mini-vacation by yourself and let things settle down in your mind. Sometimes putting distance between yourself and a situation can help make things clearer. What has happened isn't the end of the world. You just need to sort through your thoughts.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Harold, James is here, at Lit cause he either has some perversion of his own, bestiality most likely since he has the personality of a wart hog.. Bet he buys peanut butter by the case..... or because he is such a sterling example of an absolute asshole, that women avoid him like a case of herpes.. The only way he can get laid, it to read the stories, comments and posts here at Lit while he diddles himself!

Speaking of wart hogs, its said Pollacks didn't discover sex till the 10th century. Before then they replaced their dead with baby wart hogs.

 

[Harold_Hill]

I was outside reading when I observed how one of my trees scatters its seeds. It never learned how to do it in public school. Its antecedents tried all kinds of ways until the present process solved the problem.

The meaning of life is scattering your seeds and adding your genes to the next generation of life. Fags fail at it, and most become extinct forever. Dearie needs to understand that she's opting for extinction.

What does any of this have to do with this conversation? You're not one of those Westboro followers are you?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

What does any of this have to do with this conversation? You're not one of those Westboro followers are you?

I'm an honest to God cousin of Jesus.

 

[Harold_Hill]

I'm an honest to God cousin of Jesus.

Seriously, are you one of the Westboro followers?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Seriously, are you one of the Westboro followers?

I'm not a Christian.

 

[Leeleigh]

Seriously, are you one of the Westboro followers?

I think he is probably related from the mountain family Deliverance was based on.. About the same intelligence factor..

 

[Harold_Hill]

I think he is probably related from the mountain family Deliverance was based on.. About the same intelligence factor..

He's more sad than annoying. He seems to spend his life shouting at the wind. That's why I thought he might be one of the Weastboro people.

 

[Garnate]

I think he is probably related from the mountain family Deliverance was based on.. About the same intelligence factor..

I don't think you're far off, actually. Maybe the Floridian branch of that family.

 

[lovecraft68]

James and Eilan, this is my thread, my discussion, my questions and my dilemma, go find someone else to harass or else I will ask Lit to find a playmate for you both! I am not asking again for both of you to butt the fuck out. I am looking for help and constructive advise, not assholes being assholes!

The hazards of the net....make good use of the ignore feature and the place is a lot more enjoyable.

As for any advice I have...if your relationship is closed, as in monogamous than this is an issue-or could be-if he wants to actually explore this because it means he would want to 'try out' a guy or bring one home for a threesome.

Despite this being lit fantasy land, not everyone is okay with that so the first thing is does he want to act on this or can he keep it an unexplored fantasy.

As with most things the key is communication, whatever is in your mind needs to be voiced to him and the other way around

 

[albertaboy]

I moved it to the HT Café because it's not as much of a how-to thread as it is a relationship advice thread. The café is for all kinds of general discussion. Hopefully you weren't offended; it's all part of the same forum.

When did you become a Mod...that's a bit scary

 

[Leeleigh]

I don't think you're far off, actually. Maybe the Floridian branch of that family.

Hey, I was born and raised in Florida...he's to much of a judgmental, childish jerk to have come from Florida.

 

[Leeleigh]

The hazards of the net....make good use of the ignore feature and the place is a lot more enjoyable.

As for any advice I have...if your relationship is closed, as in monogamous than this is an issue-or could be-if he wants to actually explore this because it means he would want to 'try out' a guy or bring one home for a threesome.

Despite this being lit fantasy land, not everyone is okay with that so the first thing is does he want to act on this or can he keep it an unexplored fantasy.

As with most things the key is communication, whatever is in your mind needs to be voiced to him and the other way around

I can honestly say that from the very beginning of our relationship, he had known my feelings about monogamy.. If he wants another, I walk away.. He understands that. I am willing to play with him, but no one else... we talked last night so I could get an idea about what he might like done to him, but also to find out if there were things he would like to do to me.. The trip to the toy shop is going to be interesting to say the least.

 

[Harold_Hill]

I can honestly say that from the very beginning of our relationship, he had known my feelings about monogamy.. If he wants another, I walk away.. He understands that. I am willing to play with him, but no one else... we talked last night so I could get an idea about what he might like done to him, but also to find out if there were things he would like to do to me.. The trip to the toy shop is going to be interesting to say the least.

Monogamy is sometimes defined by context. There are couples who play together, (with others), but still consider themselves monogamous. Monogamy can also be defined by emotional commitment rather than just physical commitment. To make a relationship work, sometimes we have to reevaluate our own values. A thought to ponder: Regardless of what you and your boyfriend decide to do about your future sex life, you have to ask yourself, would your future be better off with or without him? The only right answer to that question is what will bring you true happiness.