get some conversation going on the HT.

[Quoll]

As long as the runs don't occur in my house, that is. I have more than my share of people and animals who shit themselves. I'm sure her life would be ruined if she had to move her 9:34 am bowel movement up by about 20 minutes or so.

That reminds me--I forgot to get any dessert when I was out. I guess everyone will have to be content with leftover school party cupcakes.

*nods* My grandma's worse about this than my mom is.

Which reminds me of an accident I had at work the other morning at about 3.am...let's just say that hoses and sleepiness don't really go together.
Anyway the shed I work out of is in a large yard but it has an open front and low fences on one side of the yard.
So here I am with my pants totally soaked, but what the hell it's the middle of the night and plenty of time to get everything dry. I'll just turn off all of the lights except the desk lamp. Did you know that a toaster is not that bad at drying underwear? Anyway here I am wandering around in just a shirt and windcheater (sweatshirt, jumper, sweater, well a top anyway) drying my undies over the toaster and my jeans hanging up on the other side of the shed.
Oh shit people with torches coming into the yard, me with no pants on, still it can't get any worse can it, I quickly sit down behind my desk. Oh fuck it's not just people it's the police, about five of them including a policewoman.
Apparently they had been investigating an incident at one of the factories across the road and had noticed some activity and lights going on and off at out depot and decided to see what was up. (not a damn thing by now, that's for sure) We have a lovely little conversation about what I do at that time of the morning with one officer flashing his torch about the shed. "Oh crap, any minute now he is going to ask me to show him something at the back of the shed or walk around my side of the desk... or see my underwear thrown hurriedly in the corner." Man can five minutes seem like two hours or what, after our pleasant little chat, me stuttering like some guilty criminal they finally leave, at last I can dry my clothes and put them back on.
Did you know a toaster is not that good at drying underwear when you are in a nervous state, you tend to burn holes in them.
I wasn't sure whether to post this in "What made me laugh my ass off today." or just start a new thread titled "What made me shit myself today."

 

[KarenDee]

Man, I burn the cookies and I panic...I gotta learn from YOUR mistakes and relax a bit!

 

[Quoll]

Man, I burn the cookies and I panic...I gotta learn from YOUR mistakes and relax a bit!

Sorry did I give the impression I was relaxed, hell no. I can't tell you how many nights I have been there and never had a visit from the police, but the one night I decide to run around half naked.

 

[Eilan]

Sorry did I give the impression I was relaxed, hell no. I can't tell you how many nights I have been there and never had a visit from the police, but the one night I decide to run around half naked.

Ya know, you could write a story about it and submit it to Lit. Naked at the factory, hot female cop. . .

 

[KarenDee]

Yeah I like Eilan's idea...forced by the other cops to bang away at the female while they watched...man, the possibilities are endless.

Of course, it would have been more comical if the cops had grabbed your pants and undies and took them with them as "evidence."

 

[Quoll]

Ya know, you could write a story about it and submit it to Lit. Naked at the factory, hot female cop. . .

Perhaps in six months or so I might have forgotten enough to be able to look at it in a more sexual light, now if it had been a group of lost nurses...

 

[KarenDee]

Perhaps in six months or so I might have forgotten enough to be able to look at it in a more sexual light, now if it had been a group of lost nurses...

I dunno...lost nurses wandering around a factory at 3 AM. Porn's gotta be half believable to be good.

 

[Quoll]

I dunno...lost nurses wandering around a factory at 3 AM. Porn's gotta be half believable to be good.

Hmm you're right, ok they were delivering pizza.

 

[Eilan]

Hmm you're right, ok they were delivering pizza.

Pizza nurses?

 

[KarenDee]

Pizza nurses?

I've seen worse in porn flicks!

 

[Quoll]

Pizza nurses?

Yeah of course.











Hey it's my fantasy here.

 

[Eilan]

So if you don't get your pizza in 30 minutes or less?

 

[KarenDee]

I suppose there's pepperoni involved.

 

[Quoll]

So if you don't get your pizza in 30 minutes or less?

We live that far out of town that home delivery of anything is just a pipe dream and besides...nah I got nothing witty here.

I suppose there's pepperoni involved.

Well you can always work sausage into the conversation somewhere.

 

[Eilan]

Don't forget to get but something "special" for miss AR, a good dose of the runs should at least provide some amusement as well as messing up her whole bowel schedule thing.

I shouldn't have laughed at this last night. Karma's a bitch.

 

[KarenDee]

I hope it didn't happen in the middle of "play time with the new toys?"

 

[Eilan]

I hope it didn't happen in the middle of "play time with the new toys?"

Fortunately, no. It did, however, make me wonder if I'd given my book group members food poisoning. Nobody else seemed to be sick, though.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Eilan]

well it will be interesting to see how many trick-or-treaters we get tonight. we've been here for 2 halloween's and have had a grand total of 1 kid come to our door.

you think being near the end of a dead-end road with a 200+ year old cemetery across the street has anything to do with it?

Our trick-or-treating was yesterday, and we didn't have anyone, either; we live on a dead-end road (sans cemetery) as well. In the 11 years that my husband has lived here, there's been only two trick-or-treaters, and that was because he invited a coworker to bring her kids over.

I took my kids to my parents' house this past Thursday. Don't know why their community does trick-or-treating so early, but it's over and done with for the year, so I'm not complaining.

 

[Guest]

 

[midwestyankee]

No T-orTers here just yet, though the village asks that residents take their children around between 3:30 and 6:00 pm. My 14-year old just left to join some friends in the same activity, though they refuse to use the T-and-T term because they think it's childish. They call what they do (they're in costume so it's completely indistinguishable from what their much younger neighbors are doing) "free-loading." Go figure.

I stopped wearing my Richard Nixon mask a few years ago when I answer the door because it no longer frightens anyone. Still haven't come up with a good replacement yet.

 

[Guest]

 

[midwestyankee]

at our previous house we had a lot of T-or-Ters and the 14 year old crowd were always rock stars.

So was this their claim despite dressing like they normally did for school, or did they make an extra effort to create the effect? Mine went as a vampire, using a costume that included what I think was a Ninja mask for added fright factor.

 

[Guest]