Guidance (closed for ericrodman101) [M/M]

[ericrodman101]

Gerry tensed himself ready to spring into action if the worst happened. The drugged man lying with Toby's mother accused him of getting his dick sucked. Gerry flushed. 'I am that obvious?' he thought, but then realised dick sucking was probably currency in this neighbourhood. Any neighbourhood really. Except round here it would expose you to more danger than just oral herpes.

There seemed no point replying and anyway, Toby yelled at the guy. History, Gerry wondered.

Toby took an age to gather his things, what little there was, into a plastic bag. Gerry hovered by the door, pleased that the man had fallen asleep. But even as he stepped over the rubbish and into the corridor, Toby decided to leave a note and disappeared into the kitchen. It was pathetic and touching. A note for this woman. Would she even find it? Read it? Understand it? Gerry could only imagine what Toby would write and was selfishly grateful Toby didn't know his home address.

Gerry stepped back inside the apartment and peered into the kitchen. He watched Toby place the note under a bottle, then his key, and come back into the room. Toby leaned down and whispered to his mother, and without looking at Gerry, left the apartment with an air of finality. He was downstairs and in the yard before Gerry made the first landing.

The yard was dark. Gerry sensed Toby was emotional, probably sobbing silently. He wanted to stay here for as short a time as possible.

"Come on, kiddo," he said, putting an arm around Toby, who shuffled closer in the darkness. As they stood a light rain began falling. "Time to go somewhere warm and dry. And first find a cab."

With his arm still about Toby's shoulders, Gerry moved them both in the direction of the street, wondering which was the quickest way to sanctuary at this time of night.

 

[tamgreen]

Toby gritted his jaw painfully hard in hopes of staving off the worst of the emotions gnawing at him, but it wasn't easy when Gerry wrapped a warm, secure arm around him, calling him kiddo, with unbearable sweetness. Somewhere warm and dry - dare he hope once more that they might actually go to Gerry's house? Or was he to be dropped off at a shelter, the way anyone would expect? School people didn't take students home. It just wasn't done.

Together they rambled their way to a main road where they were able to flag down a cab, and Toby felt utterly drained the moment he sat down in the backseat with Gerry next to him. He didn't even pay attention to where they were going. He just slouched down, with his arms around his meager belongings, and closed his eyes tightly.

After a few minutes, he leaned over until he felt his shoulder come in contact with Gerry's arm, and then his head flopped onto the man's shoulder. He shuddered and silently sobbed.

"I'm sorry," he forced out in a shaky whisper. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry. Sorry about them, and that place, and this, and me, and just... everything. Everything."

 

[ericrodman101]

Against all expectations a cab slowed and stopped. Gerry pushed Toby and his bag of belongings into the backseat and followed. Once the door was closed and they sped away from the apartment, Gerry relaxed. The rain on the roof and the swishing wipers gave the cab a cosy feeling with Toby beside him. In a few minutes the kid had relaxed a little too, flopping his head onto Gerry's shoulder. The older man wanted to hug him, tousle his hair. He could feel Toby sobbing. 'It's going to be OK,' he wanted to say, but not so loud that the driver could hear. It was strange to feel so close to Toby in the company of a third person, but the cab driver didn't know them, and chances were he wouldn't remember either Gerry or Toby if they ever encountered him again.

Toby was muttering something in a distressed tone. An apology.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for," Gerry whispered. "Just take a deep breath, have a cry if you need to. You never have to go back to that horrible place again."

Gerry placed his arm across Toby and pulled him closer. The cab stopped at a traffic light and Gerry could see the driver's concerned eyes in the rearview mirror. He nodded and smiled, patting Toby's hair until the driver's gaze returned to the road.

 

[tamgreen]

You never have to go back to that horrible place again.

Toby clung to these words despite the fact that they hurt him as much as they brought him relief. Only one place was home, and only one person was family to the boy - he'd just left them both behind, probably forever, and it was gutting even if both home and family had done him more harm than good. He had no solid ground beneath his feet but this man sitting next to him, and as the tears continued to flow, they were as much from gratitude as from pain.

The emotional load was exhausting, and the movement of the car and the noise of the rain on the windshield were soothing. Toby soon stopped crying only to drift off, still leaning on Gerry. He hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in longer than he could remember, and he was ready to fall into any opportunity for sanctuary, however brief.

He woke up when the car stopped and raised his head, blinking drowsily. He rubbed his eyes, which felt like they were full of burning sand, and looked out the window. They were in a nice, quiet neighborhood he'd never been to before, and had pulled up to a modest but classy and comfortable-looking house.

"Is this your house?" he asked, looking at Gerry in the dim light of a nearby streetlight.

 

[ericrodman101]

"Is this your house?"

Gerry only half heard Toby's question. As the cab crossed town and he warmed to Toby's closeness in the backseat, Gerry's mind wandered. What the fuck was he doing with a student snuggling up to him? A crying student he'd just rescued, in a way, from his own mother and was now taking him home. It was all so completely and utterly wrong on so many levels. Not just wrong, but dangerous.

The driver turned and caught Gerry's attention, raising his eyebrows and pointing at the meter. Gerry paid the fare with his credit card and pushed Toby out of the car. The driver wound down the window.

"I hope the kid feels better soon," he said before driving off.

'The kid,' Gerry thought. Not 'your son'. Maybe the driver had heard Toby's question. Gerry would have preferred the whole trip to have been a secret. At least the street was quiet and dark, even if the rain still pecked at their heads.

"Yes," he said, pushing Toby up the path. "My house. Our house. I mean mine and Andrea's."

Andrea. Jesus. The house was dark and unlit, so she wasn't home. Of course not. Andrea was at her mother's. She'd let him know when she was returning. Thank Christ.

Gerry looked around at his neighbours. Not many signs of life. Just a few lights behind curtained windows. No cars in the street. The rain was keeping everyone inside.

He opened the front door with his key and went inside first, switching on the light. Strangely, he felt drawn to the spot in the hall where the two unfamiliar suitcases had sat when he caught Andrea earlier. Was there still an impression in the carpet? Or was he just paranoid?

"My house," Gerry said again, as if he was formally welcoming Toby. "Follow me through to the back and I'll make us something to drink. Do you need the bathroom?"

Gerry could hear the made-up tone of his voice, the false bonhomie. He could have been welcoming a friend of Charlotte's and showing them to the sitting room. Instead, here was a young man with whom he'd shared a meal, and before that a clinch on the floor of his office, an erection, had tried to kiss and stopped just in time, and cuddled in the back of a cab after inviting him to break with his mother. He set off down the hall to the kitchen, almost weak-kneed with trepidation. Whatever was happening, something told Gerry there was no going back.

 

[tamgreen]

Toby was speechless with awe as they went inside. To him, this might as well have been a mansion. He felt like he was inside a fantasy. The place was warm and clean and safe, and he definitely didn't belong here, but as soon as he was inside he didn't want to ever leave.

He placed his bags next to his shoes at the entrance for now, lining everything up neatly, keen to do everything right so as not to spoil this.

"Do you need the bathroom?"

"No... I'm okay for now."

He followed Gerry to the kitchen, his eyes combing over everything on the way. His heart was pounding hard. He looked at Gerry's back. Did the man actually want him here, or was this just guilt or pity? Did he have a chance at making this man happy? His mind kept going back to one thing, and it was so much harder to bring it up now, after what the man at his mom's apartment had said.

"Gerry," he finally spoke up, his voice small and unsteady. He wrung his hands anxiously.

"Do you... want a blowjob? I dunno if I'll be any good at it. I just... want you to feel good. I wouldn't ask for money or anything. You've just been so nice to me."

 

[ericrodman101]

Gerry opened the refrigerator to check what drinks he had on ice and had his back to Toby when the kid made the offer.

"Do you want a blowjob?"

He froze, wondering if he'd heard correctly. Do you want a blowjob? Gerry nearly choked, a lump rising in his throat, cutting off his oxygen, his knees trembling. Of course he wanted a blowjob. It was an offer he'd waited thirty years to hear from Andrea. And now from Toby. Jesus! It was so welcome an offer, so unanticipated, so deliciously sexual and titillating, so perfect that he wanted to turn and ask Toby to repeat it.

But Gerry didn't turn. For a moment, face turned to the open refrigerator, he hesitated, gathered his wits, and pretending not to have heard at first, fussed amongst the bottles on the door, rattling them ostentatiously to hide his rapid breathing. And when he thought he was composed, Gerry turned to face the boy who frowned back as if he'd just said the most offensive thing he could imagine and expected to be punished.

"Toby," Gerry began, then hesitated, laughing self consciously. "Toby. Jesus. Do I want a blowjob?"

He took his hand off the door, letting it swing shut. Gerry placed both hands on Toby's shoulders and drew the kid to him, hugging him tight.

"Do you really want to do that?" Gerry said, speaking into the 18 year old's hair. "With an old guy like me? You don't owe me anything, especially not a blowjob."

Toby was limp in his arms, just a plaything to be guided and used however Gerry wanted. The feeling of complete control was intoxicating. He felt his cock twitch and harden just at the realisation that he could have anything he wanted. But the guilt was palpable. Guilt and remorse that Toby, having been through more than Gerry could imagine even after visiting the squalid apartment, was able to give himself up so completely to someone. Gerry almost wanted Toby to stand his ground and fight him off, show some spirit, some self esteem, even if it was the most generous and welcome offer Gerry could imagine.

And yet, even as Gerry wrestled with his conscience, he wondered how often Toby had made the offer before. Maybe it was just as he'd thought back at the apartment. Blowjobs were the currency of Toby's life and he just another customer, this just another transaction to be completed in exchange for food and shelter. It was the oldest story in the world, and one Gerry was all too familiar with as a guidance counsellor. Yet here he was actively participating rather than observing and counselling. A mature adult giving all the wrong signals to a vulnerable teenager.

Fuck it! Why can't I just enjoy myself for a change, he thought, trying to drive the counsellor voice out of his head. Toby must be able to feel the erection pressing into his torso, just like before. The kid knows what it means. It means I'm ready, I'm aroused by him, I'm showing I understand the offer, I'm in agreement, the transaction can proceed. I only have to push him down to his knees, undo my belt, unzip my trousers, take out my cock and accept.

And what then? It's just a blowjob. He sucks my cock. I fuck his mouth. I discharge my load. We kiss probably. He spends the night and in the morning? He goes away. The whole thing couldn't be more straightforward, more predictable, more ordinary.

And on Monday Toby comes to school for our pre-class session and we pretend it never happened. Is that how it's going to work? Can I even think that far ahead with this kid in my arms and my cock hard against his stomach?

Yes please. I want a blowjob, Toby. Just say it, Gerry. Say it out loud so you both can hear it....

 

[tamgreen]

Toby melted into the older man's arms, feeling simultaneously relieved and nervous. Here they were again - holding onto each other, and oh god, there was that hardening cock again. Gerry was aroused, and so of course, Toby was too, rapidly and powerfully. And this time there was no concern of a teacher or janitor wandering in. The only other person who had a right to walk into this house was Gerry's wife, who was presumably far away having her own good time, and even if the worst case scenario occurred and she walked in, she'd already forfeited her right to object.

The immediacy of the possibility of going through with this was a bit frightening to Toby all of a sudden. Imagining a thing he might do was different than having the opportunity right in front of him. There were lots of things he thought about doing, like holding up a convenience store or leaping off a building, that he hadn't gone anywhere near, and lots of things he did do, like hitting a bully in the face with a broken bottle, that he didn't think about at all. Giving Gerry a blowjob wasn't a thing that was supposed to happen, even if they both wanted it.

But he still couldn't think of anything else to do.

"It doesn't have to be about owing," he whispered, sliding his fingers down to the waistband of Gerry's pants. "It can be about making you feel better. I think I do want to. And I think you want it too. And... maybe I like that you're 'an old guy'. You're a good guy. And you should be happy. Maybe I can... try to make you happy."

 

[ericrodman101]

"Maybe I can try to make you happy."

Toby's words made Gerry hug him tighter. I am happy, he wanted to say. Happy that you're here and away from that place, and... but the words which might have satisfied Toby or explained what Gerry really wanted, didn't come.

And what did Gerry really want? This clinch, this warm embrace never to end? This feeling of holding someone, giving them comfort and sanctuary, to go on? Gerry spooled through memories, his first love, his Korean friend, meeting Andrea, Charlotte's birth...the happy times and faces his mind's eye illuminated were few, but they were vivid and comforting. It's just that none of them were recent. Until this quiet, brightly lit kitchen and two very different men locked together.

Gerry lowered his face to Toby's. "You are making me happy," he said. "Very happy."

He found the boy's cheek with his lips, tasted the smooth, fresh flesh, and sighing deeply, traced the curve of Toby's face slowly, softly, taking a deep breath as they relaxed into each other, as his suddenly dry mouth found the sweet, dainty corner of Toby's.

 

[tamgreen]

Toby had been gripping the older man's pants, waiting for him to step back so he could open them up and do what he'd offered to do. Instead, Gerry only pressed against him more tightly, obviously still aroused, but seemingly more interested in just embracing than getting off.

"You are making me happy. Very happy."

What? How?

Gerry's breath wafted warmly across his cheek. Toby felt his knees weakening.

What was happening? Gerry's lips on his cheek. The soft beard. Toby's breath trembled. Everything trembled.

He'd never felt wanted like this. Gerry wasn't acting like a man who just wanted to get off. He wasn't acting like any one of the creeps who might come around to fuck, do drugs with his mom, and attempt to take advantage of him. He wasn't acting like some rando who'd shove his cock into any willing mouth, who'd use sex as a transaction. Gerry was acting like a man who actually wanted him, cared for him, longed for a connection with him. Suddenly Toby's chest didn't seem to be big enough to contain his heart.

He gasped when the man's lips reached the corner of his mouth. His cock was throbbing insistently, steel hard, straining against his jeans and pressing firmly against Gerry's equally eager bulge, yet somehow that wasn't at the forefront at the moment for Toby - it was the mouth teasing at his that had the bulk of his attention. A kiss - Gerry wanted to kiss him. It was so painfully innocent yet so shockingly wrong all at once, and both aspects were equally intoxicating.

Toby finally let go of Gerry's pants and hugged him instead, scrunching the man's shirt in his excited fists. He turned his head just enough to place his lips directly overtop of Gerry's.

It was nothing like he would have expected. A kiss was supposed to be like fireworks or something, but instead it was like stepping outside on a morning after a big snow - the whole ugly, violent world softened and purified and peacefully silenced. Everything soft and quiet and magically perfect. Cleansed. Safe.

Toby sighed against Gerry's mouth and sucked gently at the man's lip, moving along it, tasting, like a kid working his way around the circumference of an ice cream cone to catch every sweet drip.

 

[ericrodman101]

They were kissing. What began as a gentle swipe of his lips across Toby's face, became sucking and tasting, a gentle taking of the other's lips between his own, slowly, deliberately, without haste or impatience. Until they were kissing. Mouths and lips and tongues engaged and entwined. Gerry found it almost hard to believe. Kissing a man. An eighteen year old. The hazard, the sheer, unbridled danger of kissing a student somehow made it all the sweeter. He wanted to tell Toby how he felt, how kissing him felt, how it was all and more than he could have wanted. But with their mouths locked together Gerry's words were for him alone, and he could only show Toby how he felt by his actions.

He could feel the boy's hands, first grabbing his pants and now twisting into his shirt. Gerry willed Toby to find his buttons, undo them, place his warm, soft hands against Gerry's chest, caress him, fondle him, find all the places he liked to be touched. But there was no hurry. They had all evening, all night to pleasure and explore each other.

Gerry breathed deeply, releasing Toby for an instant and gazing down into his shadowed eyes. "Toby....mmm....," he managed before pulling him closer and kissing him again.

 

[tamgreen]

How had it come to this - going home with his guidance counsellor, making out, oh god, french kissing! Yes, that was Gerry's tongue sliding warm and wet against his, tasting his mouth, trading saliva, fuck it was so wrong and so right. Sucking lips and tongues, soft smacking noises, tight embraces, hard cocks, thumping hearts.

And then Gerry pulled back, and Toby's heart was ready to shatter, expecting a proverbial bucket of cold water like back in his office when Gerry had made him get up, off his lap: Climb off. It's not right. What would Gerry say now? Perhaps, This was a big mistake - you'd better go, Toby, and off he'd go into the night with everything he owned in two small bags, rejected at every turn and broken beyond repair. But no - it wasn't a rejection. It was the opposite. It was Gerry looking directly into his eyes and sighing his name, acknowledging him, accepting him.

Even if this had been just a mindless, opportunistic indulgence to the man, a chance to get off after a shitty day of finding his wife fucking around on him, regardless of who the target might have been, Toby would be thrilled and utterly willing. For Gerry, he'd be anonymous, anybody and nobody, a generic body, a cheap toy with which to satisfy himself. But Gerry wouldn't treat him that way. The man looked straight at him and said his name - Toby, mmm - seeing him, wanting him, him specifically, softly moaning as if he were something delicious, something that might be exactly what he'd wanted all along.

This connection and acceptance right on the heels of leaving behind his home and his mother, contrasting starkly against the aching sense of rejection and loss that had left him sobbing against Gerry in the back of the cab, brought tears to him again. Pleasure was never more keen and more satisfying and intoxicating than when splashed against a backdrop of pain. Hot tears streaked down his warm cheeks, making their kiss even sloppier, some landing in Gerry's beard, others slipping between their lips, the salt tang shared between their tongues, sucking up Toby's agony and happiness.

Gerry's tongue was big and muscular, growing more bold, and Toby opened wide for it, craving the lewd sensation of it plunging deeply into him. His lips wrapped around it and sucked, thirsty and desperate, as if inviting the man to slide right down his throat and choke him.

 

[ericrodman101]

Gerry tried to concentrate on what was happening to him. The pleasure and arousal was nearly overwhelming, and he felt himself letting go, falling into a bottomless pit of ecstasy. But it wasn't like him not to be analytical. And besides, enjoying porn meant not wasting any part of it. Cumming for Gerry after a long porn session was all about waiting, edging, biding your time, mind as well as body. His watchword in sex as in life, was that journeying is as good as arriving. Orgasm was the icing on the cake, and not the whole cake.

But Toby's enthusiastic kissing was testing Gerry's resolve. He held the boy up on tiptoe in order for their mouths to meet. As the kissing and embracing extended it took more and more of Gerry's energy. As well as Toby's sweet lips there was his pneumatic tongue, his gripping hands, his firm cock and twisting lower body. Gerry tried to remember if this is what Andrea was like, what girls were like in general, and as he really concentrated, how it felt to kiss and hold the Korean student he'd spent that blissful weekend with in college.

Gerry realised Toby was crying. It wasn't off-putting or concerning. Indeed, Gerry loved it for the depth of emotion and surrender it described. Go ahead and cry, Gerry willed. He wanted to cry too, with joy, with sheer abandon. It had been so long since the older man had felt so passionate in the arms of anther human being, as opposed to seeking to achieve digital orgasm. He wanted to enjoy every sensational moment, savour the taste, the smell, the feel, to waste nothing, to know that afterwards he'd lived the experience to the full.

But doubt still gnawed at him. Doubt that it was right, for them both, but especially for Toby. The kid was 18 for fuck's sake, and troubled and probably homeless. And experienced at this? At lovemaking, Gerry might have called it once. But the time for flowery language was long past. Was Toby experienced at fucking? Was he a virgin?

And did that matter? He was of age. It was the 21st century. Was anyone a virgin once they were legal? Gerry remembered the weekend with his Korean friend. How they'd kissed and fondled and played with everything. But not fucked. It was possibly his greatest regret. A beautiful Korean boy who'd wanted him and let him do anything, and done it in return. But they hadn't penetrated each other. Not anally. It was just a bridge too far for Gerry, beyond his imagining at 19. And maybe beyond Dowoon's too. He didn't say. If only they'd fucked. Maybe then there might have been other weekends. Maybe Gerry might have realised his bisexuality at 19 rather than 53. Maybe he mightn't have spent a life time dreaming of what it meant to know a man like he would surely know Toby. Soon.

The tip toeing was taking its toll. Gerry let Toby down for a moment. The boy looked back pensively, as if wanting the older man's affirmation that he was doing OK. Gerry smiled and touched a finger to the boy's lips. Without a word, he took Toby's hand and led him into the sunroom where the day bed lay moonlit against the window.

 

[tamgreen]

Toby adored the way Gerry held him so tight, his feet were nearly right up off the floor. They fed off of one another in a continuous positive feedback loop. When it stopped, Toby held his breath, immediately examining Gerry's expression for signs of what might be on his mind. He was less afraid that the man would push him away now, but he also expected Gerry to pause, hesitate, carefully consider, perhaps have a long talk about feelings and ethics and consequences.

But instead Gerry smiled, gently stopped him from speaking, and took him by the hand. Toby took the hint and stayed silent, suppressing all the questions he might have wanted to ask. He was ready to follow Gerry anywhere, and into anything.

He was surprised by the room Gerry led him into. Windows all around. He could see the moon and the stars outside. He hadn't noticed them before. He definitely never noticed them downtown. It was so pretty outside. So pretty in here. So clean and perfect. It was like something out of a storybook. He stared at his surroundings as if hypnotized.

What was this? A bedroom? A living room? Were there other kinds of rooms he didn't even know about? Toby's eyes settled on the bed. Or was it a couch? A bed-couch. Was this where Gerry slept? Or was this the place he was giving Toby to sleep? Or was it a place for sex?

Toby looked up at Gerry, ready to ask questions but once more suppressing himself, as if Gerry had touched his lips again. He smiled softly, despite the wetness still all around his eyes, matting his lashes, and staining his cheeks. He smiled and waited for guidance.

 

[ericrodman101]

The earlier rain had stopped. Outside the damp paving stones shone in the moonlight. The room was warm. Gerry walked Toby by the hand over to the day bed, and sat, then patted the space beside him.

"I think we need to talk," he said. "I want to kiss you, Toby. I really do. And other things. But I think we need to talk first. Just so that we're on the same page. Yeah?"

Gerry looked up at the kid, standing before him, that neutral look on his face that Gerry was getting used to. The look that said 'you tell me what's happening now'. That gave nothing away, except wide-eyed innocence and acceptance and trust.

How was it that someone with Toby's experience of life could still show trust? If Toby had been more hard bitten, more streetwise in the way he looked and acted, Gerry could understand how it was that a teenager could be standing here ready to let a 53 year old man use them. Then it would be all about resignation, reluctant acceptance, cynicism and disdain. Gerry had dealt with students before who'd gone down this path, learning the hard way that life could be tough. He'd seen it in their faces, the way they frowned and recoiled, and waited for you to say the words that confirmed life was shit and you were a shit.

Toby's experiences led Gerry to expect the same world weariness from the kid standing in front of him. But he was not getting that message. The look, the responses to Gerry's advances. It let him believe that Toby wanted to be hugged and kissed by an older man, a father figure, that he isn't repelled or troubled by any of this.

"Come on," he said. "Sit down. Cuddle up to me if you like. It's all fine. I'm loving this. But I need to make sure that you're OK with it. OK with what's already happened between us, and OK with what might happen. Tonight and after that. If there is an after."

Gerry patted the seat again, holding his other hand out to Toby, closing his palm over the boy's soft fingers.

"You need to know that you can say no to anything, you can ask me anything, if you just want to sleep, if you want to go away or even for me to go away, all of those things are fine. And I will comply with whatever you want."

Gerry pulled Toby towards the space on the day bed and drew him down beside him.

 

[tamgreen]

There it was: We need to talk.

But the talk wasn't what Toby had expected. He sat down at Gerry's side, willingly cuddling up to the older man. He pressed his face against Gerry's shoulder as he had in the cab, taking refuge in him.

"I know how to say no," he whispered. "I've said no lots of times. I've fought, and I've run away, when I needed to. You've seen my records - you should know I don't easily let people make me do shit I don't wanna do. I know you're not trying to make me do anything. You wouldn't force me."

He lifted his head and wrapped his arms around Gerry's neck, placing his mouth next to the older man's.

"I like kissing you a lot," he whispered. "If you really do too, and if you want to do more, then... we're on the same page."

He kissed Gerry, slowly, and then leaned back just enough to make eye contact.

"Is it okay if I, um, if I haven't... if I'm... technically... a virgin?"

 

[ericrodman101]

"Technically a virgin."

Gerry couldn't help but smile. Still, their little talk, which had so concerned Gerry in case he was dragging Toby into something the kid didn't understand or might regret, had allayed those fears. He still felt compromised by his own fears that his conduct was dangerous, and probably unlawful if he knew anything about student-teacher relations and the way they were governed. Why beat about the bush, he thought. Of course this is unlawful. But I've already crossed that bridge.

Gerry turned, encountering Toby's face reaching up by his side. Their lips touched and Gerry kissed the 18 year old again. It seemed odd that Toby's mouth was as soft as a woman's. Well, not odd exactly. He was a young guy and small with it. Unexpected maybe. And reminiscent of Dowoon's, his Korean friend. Not a hint of stubble or masculine roughness. Just smooth, sweet tasting and fresh. Gerry let his mouth linger over the boy, breathing deeply, tasting and sucking, letting his tongue traverse behind Toby's lips and teeth, across his tongue, testing just how far he could reach. He felt comfortable and satisfied, and letting his hand fall to his lap, found his cock responding with equal enthusiasm.

"I'm glad that's how you feel," Gerry said. "We can both guess what will happen tonight, or tomorrow. And I need to know that you consent. Technically I'm a gay virgin too. I had a friend a long time ago. We were both 19. We didn't fuck but we did everything else. And I still wish we'd fucked, but they were different times and men like me, well, boys like me really, were programmed to reject same sex attraction as something sinful and unclean. That's not how I feel anymore, not how I feel with you, but just because I'm older doesn't mean I have more experience. So whatever happens between us, and believe me I want it to happen. I want it with all my heart. But whatever happens we'll be discovering things together."

 

[tamgreen]

Toby smiled steadily at him. Gerry had said before he'd never cheated on his wife, and Toby believed him, so he wasn't surprised Gerry didn't do this sort of thing all the time, but it was still such a relief to know they were both new at the same thing. It made Toby feel special. After all these years, there must have been opportunities for Gerry to explore his gay side, and certainly he could have taken advantage of students of any gender, but he didn't.

Maybe it was just a timing thing - Toby had caught him in an emotional moment, and it had sparked something. But right now, Toby needed to believe he was actually special to someone.

Not that he didn't still get off on how depraved this all was.

"Well... it's not like what we're doing isn't sinful," Toby pointed out with a brief giggle, between messy kisses and heavy breaths.

"I'm a fucking student, and like a third of your age, and you're married."

He rotated his body around so one of his legs slid behind Gerry and the other slung across his lap, and his groin pressed against Gerry's hip. He throbbed and hoped Gerry could feel it.

"Would you rather not be reminded of all that?" he whispered, stroking the older man's beard. "I won't make a big deal of it if it ruins anything for you. I love all this too, and I'm really, really into it, but I'm also kinda... really into how totally fucking wrong it is. Is it just me?"

 

[ericrodman101]

The idea that he once thought gay sex was sinful weighed on Gerry's mind. But the idea that Toby thought it was sinful, sweet innocent-looking street kid Toby, just made Gerry hornier. That and the fact that the 18 year old was doing everything possible to arouse him, sliding his legs about, pressing his groin into Gerry's hip, stroking his beard. The more Gerry thought about what was happening, the more he realised the only thing holding him back was his own timidity and a misplaced sense of right and wrong.

Not that it was right to do what he was doing with Toby. It was wrong. In a social sense. But in a Gerry sense, it was right. Wasn't it? It felt like he'd waited all his life for this moment, kept his mouth and his trousers zipped, been a solid citizen, a good teacher, a loyal husband. And for what? To be cheated on by Andrea? To be ripped off by Charlotte? To be taken for granted by the school, and every preppy slut and dumb jock and their parents who walked through his door with their sad boring stories about how hard it was to be a teen in the 21st century. Hard! Fuck you all, he thought. You wouldn't know hard if you stuck it up your ass and swivelled.

All of which thinking just made him harder. He kissed Toby again, leaning into the 18 year old who was now curled up so tightly against him that Gerry's clothes were getting in the way.

"No," he said. "Remind me of all the bad things we're doing. Tell me how fucking wrong this is. I want to be bad, finally, after all these years of being good. And it's taken a kid to tell me. Thank you, Toby."

They kissed again. Gerry took hold of the 18 year old's hand and guided it down to where his cock throbbed against his zip. He made his feelings about what he wanted Toby to do with his hand as clear as he could, but just to make sure there was no mystery, Gerry let go of Toby momentarily, and unzipped his trousers.

 

[tamgreen]

Toby moaned into the kiss, feeling as if he could just about cum in his pants with Gerry shoving his tongue into his mouth after telling him how bad he wanted to be, how he wanted to be reminded how fucking wrong all this was. He pulled in a sharp breath through his nose when he felt his hand land on the hardness beneath Gerry's pants.

He waited impatiently as Gerry opened the zipper and reached in to help himself. He looked down with wide eyes, wanting to enjoy every aspect of the experience of having a man's hard cock in his hand. A big, hard cock, hard just for him. Skin on skin. Fuck. It felt amazing. Everything about this was amazing. He didn't even care about his own ravenous libido at the moment - he wanted to pleasure Gerry more than anything else. He wrapped his small hand around the shaft and squeezed before starting to stroke.

At last he tore his eyes from it and looked at Gerry's face, thirsty for his reaction.

"Is that what you want, Mr. Metzler?" he purred. "You like being jacked off by a teenage boy, you pervy old man? You're so fucking hard. Hard for your own fucking student. How long you been waiting for a boy to make you cum? You're so dirty."

 

[ericrodman101]

Gerry undid the zip and then sat back, watching as Toby put his hand inside the open trousers. Gerry's cock was hard and slick, and he thrilled at feeling the 18 year old enfolding the shaft in his palm. Thirty years, Gerry thought. Thirty years since someone other than me has held that cock. Or got such a close look. Andrea wouldn't put her face anywhere near it. And yet she'll lie back on our bed and open her mouth and legs for the guys from her office. Fucking, frigid, selfish bitch! Gerry's aggression was a surprise.

"Is that what you want Mr Metzler?" Toby shocked Gerry again. How could this kid, technically a virgin, talk like a pornstar? Maybe all that inexperience shit was just that. Shit. Mr Metzler indeed! Not uncle or daddy or Gerry. Mr Metzler! The number of times Gerry wanted to push some dumbfuck student onto their knees in the guidance office and show them what oppression was really about. Show them with his cock. Show them....they could just fucking suck up what life threw their way and get on with it.

"Yeah, I want you to jack me off, Toby, I want it sooo much."

He looked down at his cock framed against Toby's freshly innocent face. Freshly innocent maybe, but not the words that spilled from Toby's mouth. The boy even had a leer as he said them that looked straight into Gerry's soul. The kid knew what made Gerry tick. And Gerry knew that inside that youthful exterior was something dirty, something filthy which he would get out of Toby. Jesus, he'd waited so long and the moment had arrived.

"I want you to put that sweet mouth over Mr Metzler's cock like the teenage slut you are, and don't stop until I say so."

 

[tamgreen]

Toby's heart thumped hard and fast. He'd wanted to pull Gerry's filthy side out but there was a part of him that was a bit nervous about it, and another part that didn't think he'd really succeed, despite the fact that he already had the older man's cock in his hand. But here Gerry was going full tilt with it.

There was a fire in the man's eyes. Gerry clearly had something big he'd kept buried for a very long time. And maybe Toby did too, despite having been in existence - and sexually aware - for a fraction of Gerry's years.

Toby had been thinking a lot about blowjobs and how to give them. He'd fucking offered one to Gerry ten minutes ago. He'd been planning on it since dinner. But here he was wondering if he could possibly do this. And if he did it, would he be doing it for the wrong reasons?

His hand was slick around Gerry's hard shaft. He looked down at it again. He ran his fingers over the oozing slit, smearing precum over his fingertips. Curiously he brought them to his mouth and sucked the moisture away. It was both sweet and salty, satisfying in a way he couldn't describe.

God yes. He wanted this. He wanted to do this. He wanted to feel and taste this fifty-something-year-old guidance counsellor cumming in his mouth. He wanted the man to call him degrading names and use his body. He wanted it, and wasn't that the only reason that mattered?

"Yeah... teach me a fucking lesson," Toby breathed.

Not letting go of the base of the shaft, Toby slid to the floor, positioning himself between Gerry's thighs. He had a closer look at the man's cock now and stared at it with awe and hunger. He savoured the moment just a little longer before pointing the head at his lips and leaning in, plunging at least an inch of Gerry's cock into his mouth, letting that addicting taste wash over his tongue.

His eyes flicked up to meet the older man's as he began to suck - not like a pornstar, but like an innocent, thirsty creature who just needed to feed.

 

[ericrodman101]

Finally giving voice to forbidden thoughts was a revelation to Gerry. Suddenly he felt manly, powerful, ready for action. All those years he'd thought these things in his head, or called them out on his own as he watched porn. And to think an 18 year old student had pushed him to the edge. He couldn't imagine it happening like this. Not in a million years. He'd dreamed of finding a fuck buddy many times, perused personal ads, first in the newspapers and then online. Occasionally he'd snuck into adult stores and movie arcades, but the prospect of being recognised or of being struck dumb if someone came onto him, always made him turn and run.

He and Dowoon had used dirty talk, but the Korean's English was limited. He knew fuck, suck and cum, and even though they spoke them liberally during that wonderful weekend thirty years ago, their's had been mostly a liaison of signs and signals and grunts.

As for Andrea, the moment Gerry used a word that couldn't have been broadcast in the nightly news, she shut him down or worse, denied him. Odd that Andrea had blossomed into a free loving cougar while Gerry had shrunk into a lonely porn watcher.

But that was yesterday. Today, here and now, Gerry looked down on an 18 year old student growling obscenities across the hard cock the kid was just about to place in his mouth. Gerry hoped against hope he wouldn't disappoint, or cum too quickly, or embarrass himself.

And then there were all the other doubts Gerry was trying hard to banish. Had he already crossed a line which meant he would have to resign? Probably. Fucking a student always came out. He'd assisted the school board with several student-teacher liaisons which had gone wrong and nothing kept them under wraps. Toby was great, but he was still an immature, virgin teen. Tonight he might suck Gerry's cock, but tomorrow? Who knew? Relying on Toby's silence was a risk Gerry had already taken. There was no going back.

Even as Gerry heard the dismal voice of reason in his head telling him why this was wrong, Toby ran his fingers over Gerry's slit, scooped up his precum, and licked it off. Gerry could have cum there and then.

Toby was on his knees, between Gerry's thighs. The kid seemed to study the cock head closely. Was Toby cut like he was, Gerry thought? Probably uncut as was the fashion nowadays. He guessed he'd find out soon enough.

The teenager finished his study and even as the older man anticipated the forthcoming pleasure, slipped his mouth over Gerry's cock and began to suck. So this is what it feels like, Gerry remembered. Just like it did when Dowoon sucked my cock. The memories flooded back. He wanted to shut his eyes and leave them open at the same time, a blur of reminiscence blinding him for a moment. And when the fog cleared there was Toby, the cock deep in his mouth, the boy's lips sliding back and forth on the shaft, the sticky mix of precum and spit already coating the red flesh, and Toby's trusting eyes, no longer evil with lust, but innocent, accepting, anxious to please, blinking back.

Gerry was in two minds. He tried desperately to will himself not to cum. 'Make it last, Gerry. You've earned it.' And he worried about how passive or active he should be. The kid was working his cock over methodically, his head bobbing and already the back of his mouth coming into play. Would he be able to take Toby so deeply in return? And if he thrust into the 18 year old's mouth or pulled him onto his cock, how would Toby react? Fuck! It's just the first time, Gerry reminded himself. We've got all night. And tomorrow. And how long after that? He smiled at Toby, nodding approval, then lay his head back on the cushions and just let the ecstasy rush over him.

 

[tamgreen]

Toby filled his mouth with cock flesh, sucking more eagerly, more intuitively, as the minutes passed. The more he pleasured Gerry, the more precum leaked onto his tongue, and the more enthusiastic he became.

He'd been slow, tentative, and affectionate at first, but soon he was bobbing up and down the shaft, pushing himself to get as much of the man into his mouth as he could. He had no idea how deepthroating was accomplished, but he tried his best to force the older man's cock as far in as he could get it and beyond. He mainly succeeded in choking himself. His eyes reflexively filled with tears as he gagged, but he never stopped watching Gerry's reaction to his efforts.

Desperate to connect, to bring pleasure to this man who seemed to have rescued him in so many ways, Toby started exploring with his hands, looking for more skin to touch. His fingers began to fumble with the buttons of Gerry's shirt.

 

[ericrodman101]

When Toby gagged, Gerry lifted his head. Fuck it! The poor kid was crying or choking or something. And there was Gerry just enjoying himself, lying back and letting Toby and his cock do the work without a care in the world.

"Jesus, Toby, I'm so sorry."

Gerry sat up, his cock slipping out of Toby's mouth, the precum making a long, glistening string from lips to cock head before it broke. The 18 year old just looked stunned, the fingers working on Gerry's shirt buttons freezing.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Gerry said. "You're doing great. Honestly. What you're doing is fucking wonderful. It's just that...well, I'm going too quickly. I'm just thinking about myself. I know I am..."

The older guy leaned forward, took the 18 year old's hands in his, and pulling him close, kissed him again.

"We've got plenty of time," Gerry said, "so no need for us to rush."

He looked down to where his swollen cock lay on the cushions between his legs.

"And I'm still rock hard, thanks to you. I meant what I said. Let's explore this together. Every little thing. I don't want us to miss anything. So, let's both get shirtless and then for our very first time, how about you make me cum in your hands?"