Have you told your parents?

[Private_Label]

I don't have a relationship of any sort with my Father currently, so he doesn't know, nor will he ever be hearing about it from me or anyone I am acquainted with.

Mom, well... Mom tried to raise us with an open mind. She often would wonder out loud if her kids had ever had a sexual relationship. However, when confronted with an on line relationship I have with a friend (she accidently walked in on me naked one night), she became upset. That was thinking about me talking about sex with a friend, with mutual masterbating. When she knew I was buying vibrators... well, her mind isn't as open as she tried to portray herself as over they years.

My mom and I are very close, but there is no reason for me to be the one bringing this up in conversation, I don't think it will enhance our relationship any. If she asks me about anything, I wont lie - I know she would never kick me out over something she disagreed with. She had a very straight laced upbringing. She can understand enjoying sex, but I have a feeling based on her reactions that even mentioning different positions would only confirm in her mind that I am "extremely" kinky (well, I guess I am, but are positions other than missionary still thought of as kinky?).

 

[FurryFury]

Uh, hell no!

Why would I tell them any damn thing? LOL!

Fury

 

[AvaAdore]

I haven't told my parents about BDSM or that I'm bisexual. They are very "normal", mainstream people, and they already think I'm a bit weird. Since my current relationship is with a guy and is not 24/7 or anything, it doesn't really come up. I think in the end they would just think I'm even more weird than they already think.

It's funny though - when I broke up with my ex a few years ago, a guy my mom really liked, my parents asked why, and jokingly I said I decided I was a lesbian, and my mom went all wide-eyed and her jaw dropped. Priceless. I wish I had a camera at the time.

There was an incident a few years ago. My parents and my little sister (11, so no, of course she doesn't know) went away for a week, and I had the house to myself. My bf came over and we had a play. Even though we thought we cleaned everything up, when my parents came home, my dad found a pair of handcuffs next to the couch. He came to my room with a smirk and said "Oh, what's this?" and I said "Nothing! We were just playing around with them, you know, nothing dodgy!" and he said "Sure..."

So really, I have no idea what he would think if he knew about the more "extreme" things.

 

[kara_CM]

i have to hide everything from my mother, she would just die. My bisexuality is bad enough to put her in the grave but add the fact that i have a Master on top of it and...............i just can't find the words to describe............She might stop talking to me period.

 

[caela]

Both my parents know though their respective spouses don't. I doubt my stepdad would care and actually my mom may have told him but I didn't. My stepmom would have a heart attack and there are times I'm tempted to let it slip in front of her just to watch her face turn purple.

She's the sort that thinks my dad shouldn't discuss sex in any way, shape, for or metaphore even though I'm 26 years old.

 

[DVS]

When I was a teenager, my dad would sometimes pull pretty girls over his lap and playfully spank them. They would all just giggle and take it. Of course, those were the days when that wasn't sexual molestation (although I do think it was sexual). God, I wish I could have gotten away with that. But, because he was older, I think the girls had no idea it could be a sexual thing. I do remember the expressions on some of their faces. I think they enjoyed it.

I found a few of his magazines, too. There was nothing really BDSM about them, but this was the early 60s. Anything in print about that was difficult to find. The most I ever saw back then were the Penthouse Forum stories, and I thnk some of them were fake to seel the magazine.

I never noticed anything at all, from my mother. She was the perfect mother, nothing sexual in anything she did or said.

I never told either of them about my sexial side. And, like I said, that was the early 60s. Back then, sex was must the missionary position for five minutes before bed.

But, the later 60s...that was a fun time. Free love!

 

[FurryFury]

<snip> I never noticed anything at all, from my mother. She was the perfect mother, nothing sexual in anything she did or said.
<snip>

I must be the most imperfect mother in the world then.

*sighs*

Fury

 

[DVS]

I must be the most imperfect mother in the world then.

*sighs*

Fury

Well that was the 50s and 60s. This is now the 21st century, you know. Times have changed. Give yourself a break.

 

[Grethe]

Mother in law knows!

Hello!
I am new member here, so not so used to post and still dont really know how it all works; but just wanted to comment; I am a 37 yr old, very submissive female living in Denmark; my mother does not know, but my Mother in law knows since she is the one who spanks me often; i know this might sound strange to some people, but I can assure you that I truly enjoy this and so does my husband, and my Mother in Law loves it.
Grethe

 

[Chicklet]

I'm pretty sure that my parents know, although they never actually come out and discuss it with me.

When I was younger (early teen years) I got my hands on some BDSM erotica, including Anne Rice's novels since you could easily pick those up in a used bookstore. I accidentally left one in the bathroom after my bath, and my dad picked it up, and read the whole thing himself. He liked it so much he asked me for the rest, and much to my embarassment I shared my (to me very intimate, I was still young and quite curious and embarassed about the whole BDSM thing) erotica with him.

These days we dance around it like some sort of horrifically humiliating game. Who can make the other turn redder. My parents and I aren't very close, so it's weird to talk about anything sexual with them. The latest thing that I can think of was that I charged some underwear to one of my mom's department store accounts (with her permission, of course) and it came up on the bill to her as "lingerie" - so she teasingly suggests to me (and I don't know where she came to this link between lingerie and bdsm) "want some handcuffs to go along with those?" to which I reply "I already have two pair."

This last week I was very amused by my latest partner's mother (yes, he lives at home, no it's not a turn-off) - I accidentally (YES I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!) smacked myself on the face with a hanger that I was fidgiting with, swelling my lip up some. I jokingly said that I'd just tell people her son was beating me. The snort that came out of that woman's mouth was the loudest I've ever heard, and she says laughing "Yeah, RIGHT. at CARDS maybe." my ass finds cards to be quite painful.

DVS, I have a memory from childhood...not of one of my parents spanking someone, but I was laying on the couch spending the night at my friend's house, and I heard her mother receiving a very very loud, hard spanking from her boyfriend in the next room. I didn't know quite what to think of that. I hadn't thought of that memory in years.

 

[dexwebster]

As far as telling my parents, that would be a no, no, and hell no. They don't know I'm bi or kinky, and that's the way I want it. I try to avoid discussing my relationships with them at all costs. I'd be zipped on even the most whitebread, vanilla het relationship with them. Same with my younger sister.

My older sister on the other hand, is a bit bent herself, though I don't know to exactly what extent (we haven't ever talked about, but she's apparently not as careful about her privacy, and lets things slip sometimes: I've seen a crop in her bedroom, ropes tied to a boyfriend's bed, some comments she makes). She may suspect something about me, since I obviously knew enough to give her The Story of O and the Beauty trilogy as birthday gifts.

 

[h_i_s]

Hello!
I am new member here, so not so used to post and still dont really know how it all works; but just wanted to comment; I am a 37 yr old, very submissive female living in Denmark; my mother does not know, but my Mother in law knows since she is the one who spanks me often; i know this might sound strange to some people, but I can assure you that I truly enjoy this and so does my husband, and my Mother in Law loves it.
Grethe

i must admit, that is a very unique situation you have there, Grethe.
Don't worry about your being new ... you'll figure it all out as you go along just as everyone else does/has. Welcome to the BDSM section of the Lit Forums.

 

[insatiable_pet]

I haven't told my parents, but my mother knows. When I lived at home, my mother rifled through my belongings quite often and even had AOL give her my password so she could read my email. Well, apparently she didn't like what she read and called my master to confront him. She thought he was abusing me, and had seen the bruises, rope burn, welts, and teeth marks to prove it. I was rather oblivious to her noticing my marks. After all, who doesn't love to show off how much their lover loves them?

I don't live there anymore, thank god. Lets just say that the thought of my mother reading letters about how much I liked being spanked and whipped is a bit disturbing, and yet impossibly hilarious.

 

[Microwave0ven]

also kinda new here.. nope, haven't told my parents. My parents are straitjacket 'rents and they'd probably severely disapprove. I know on one occaision I asked one of the parentals to find me a file on my computer, and they went through a few more files and found some images that they weren't supposed to find. boy, I got majorly lectured...

another time I was trying something with clothespins and my dad walked in on me, that wasn't entirely pleasant either. (thank goodness I was testing them on my hand, not any other parts..and yes, i had my clothes on!)

so while they might suspect, they don't know. I think.... lol

 

[Etoile]

Yikes, insatiable_pet - AOL gave your mom your password?! Were you under 18 at the time? I would be horrified if my parents saw my eemail. I'm very protective of my computer and my online stuff, and I'd ... *shudder* ... No thank you!

 

[WindWarrior]

My mom knows. She thinks it's odd, but doesn't care all that much. Though she often tells me that I really did not need to share that with her. No one else in my family knows ... my dad and I are not close, and the rest of my family is waaaay too conservative to ever understand.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

My father passed away back in 1986, long before I discovered this lifestyle, and so was never told. My mother on the other hand, and I discussed the D/s aspects of it after I got involved in the lifestyle. It was one of the reasons for me divorce and I wasn't going to lie to her about it.

She didn't need to know the SM aspects of my sex life and that was not part of our conversations. But we had a very open and honest relationship before she passed away.

My sister also knows, and while not much in the way of details, she is aware of the SM aspects.... *grins* Though if she ever visits I think the St. Andrews cross in the living room might be a more info than she'll be expecting...

My children are both adults, and they know Dad is a perv. *GRIN* My 19 year old got his first tatoo about 6 - 8 weeks ago! He's turning out to be more like his old man every day! *lol* It's a cross, not sure what style to call it, standard "tee" type but the ends are kind of gnarly and curly. Greek Orthodox style maybe?

Anyway, I'm "out" in my life, to friends and family. I don't shout from the rooftops or take out billboards, but I don't hide either.

 

[DVS]

My father passed away back in 1986, long before I discovered this lifestyle, and so was never told. My mother on the other hand, and I discussed the D/s aspects of it after I got involved in the lifestyle. It was one of the reasons for me divorce and I wasn't going to lie to her about it.

She didn't need to know the SM aspects of my sex life and that was not part of our conversations. But we had a very open and honest relationship before she passed away.

My sister also knows, and while not much in the way of details, she is aware of the SM aspects.... *grins* Though if she ever visits I think the St. Andrews cross in the living room might be a more info than she'll be expecting...

My children are both adults, and they know Dad is a perv. *GRIN* My 19 year old got his first tatoo about 6 - 8 weeks ago! He's turning out to be more like his old man every day! *lol* It's a cross, not sure what style to call it, standard "tee" type but the ends are kind of gnarly and curly. Greek Orthodox style maybe?

Anyway, I'm "out" in my life, to friends and family. I don't shout from the rooftops or take out billboards, but I don't hide either.

That all sounds quite healthy, actually. I envy your relationships with family. My family would FREAK OUT and big time!

 

[insatiable_pet]

Yikes, insatiable_pet - AOL gave your mom your password?! Were you under 18 at the time? I would be horrified if my parents saw my eemail. I'm very protective of my computer and my online stuff, and I'd ... *shudder* ... No thank you!

Yes, I was under 18 at the time. But.. AOL will give out passwords even if the account is not of a minor. That is, AOL prides itself on good customer service, rather than privacy of individuals. If someone calls with sufficient information to prove they pay for the service, AOL will give them the password. So, everyone should be well aware not to use an AOL account.. sign up for yahoo or gmail.

 

[david_42]

Both of my parents are dead, but I never discussed anything about sex or bdsm with either of them when they were alive. Nor have I discussed it with any other member of my family. It just isn't any of their business. Some of my friends know.

 

[brioche]

Yes, I was under 18 at the time. But.. AOL will give out passwords even if the account is not of a minor. That is, AOL prides itself on good customer service, rather than privacy of individuals. If someone calls with sufficient information to prove they pay for the service, AOL will give them the password. So, everyone should be well aware not to use an AOL account.. sign up for yahoo or gmail.

Or use a laptop with password protection - i find myself quite confident that it won't be breached. But then, my parents just aren't that sort, to go in and try to find out stuff - they'd ask me flat out, i think.

 

[DVS]

Yes, I was under 18 at the time. But.. AOL will give out passwords even if the account is not of a minor. That is, AOL prides itself on good customer service, rather than privacy of individuals. If someone calls with sufficient information to prove they pay for the service, AOL will give them the password. So, everyone should be well aware not to use an AOL account.. sign up for yahoo or gmail.

I agree that was rather bold of your parents. I don't think mine would have ever suspected, when I was living at home.

And, I can see AOL doing that. They have always tried to put on a front as the wholesome ISP, but I still think that was uncalled for. It was wrong for them to give your mother the password and it was wrong for your mother to ask for it.

Two wrongs don't make a right. That phrase actually works, in this case.

 

[Red Sonja]

Good heavens, No!

Actually my father is dead. He passed away about 9 years ago. My mother, although still living, suffered a brain aneurism when I was 14. There's really no point.

I think a tremendous number of marital problems in this country could be avoided by everyone getting over the need to tell Mom or Dad everything.

Somethings are just better left unsaid, you know?

 

[SubChristy]

i could never tell my mother...first off i'd be just a little leary about what she would think. we have such a good relationship i dont want to ruin it....my family has a tendency of being closed minded. Second my dad died in august so i cant tell him...

 

[bad kitty]

Oh goodness no. I'm sure my parents have an idea, but I'll just leave that unconfirmed for now. The collar is pretty much a dead give away and they know of my lust for "dark" stuff.