Hitting on men

[TheOriginalAnonymous]

Seems like a lot of people are overthinking this.
First, no stories, sorry.
But, to answer your question: yes, most men will appreciate being hit on. It's flattering to be appreciated. Be as direct as you are comfortable with - while still respecting common decency, of course. If he's uncomfortable with you being assertive then obviously you aren't a good match.
Seems like a lot of guys on here seem to be saying that they can be oblivious; I assume part of this is because we aren't used to be hit on. Which really should just serve to reinforce that you are right to be obvious.

TL;DR Be yourself; if being direct feels right, is what you want to do, then do it. His response will tell you if the two of you are compatible.

 

[Hypoxia]

TL/DR -- Depends on context. How familiar are the hitter and her target? Have they mildly flirted before but now she wants to up the ante? Are they acquaintances, now pushed together by circumstance, or merely incidentally in contact? Are they cow-orkers, or co-congregationalists, or rough neighbors, or PTA members, or old schoolmates, or what? Are either married or otherwise in a committed relationship? Does ethnicity matter? Just asking how to hit on men is rather open-ended.

 

[catimann]

If a woman is interested in a man she drags him home. Its what the smart girls do.

I met my wife in a Laundromat 43 years ago. I was minding my business, and we were there alone. She simply walked up, sat atop my washer, and told me to put my book away.

I'll answer and tell a story. First off the woman above could do this because guys will let this happen. If it were reversed the guy would be a creep and be told to get lost or worse. Unless of course he was just what she dreamed of.

When I was in college I worked for an Italian lady (Maria) who loved company and plied me with wine any time I came over. One day her Avon lady was there and we started into the bottles. She had been there a while already so was feeling good. The conversation turned dirty and she kept hinting but being the typical dumb guy I didn't think the 45 year old Avon lady wanted anything to do with me. She then said "Well I don't think you can get it up long enough to fuck me." At that point I was smart enough to call her bluff, got up asked Maria if I could use a bedroom and took the Avon Lady to bed.

I think a woman would have more luck with younger guys as they are open to it. I'm almost 57 and if that were to happen then I would think it was a joke or she wanted my money. LOL Perhaps if a lady around my age were to start a conversation in a direct way it may work. Would be nice.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I was a very shy guy when younger but fortunately encountered women who actually took the initiative. In my mind that is the essence of hitting on someone - directly taking the initiative to approach someone and make your intentions known. Being the first to put yourself out there.

What that means varies be person, circumstance and perhaps even gender. But presenting yourself as a willing responder to someone that you hope will take the initiative is not the same as hitting on someone. Identify the target of your affection, make your way through the crowd fending off all distractions and communicate your desire to him specifically.

Yes it is true that guys can be thick. But women expect no less.....personalized, exclusive and unmistakeable romantic interest. Not "here I am come and get me" but "I want you and I don't care who knows it."

 

[thruster315]

I don't have a problem being hit upon but let's at least have a conversation about something mutual at least. I need more than a lustful glance thrown my way. Spark a conversation with me. I'm not that imposing. Stimulate my mind first and maybe the rest of me would follow.

And sometimes just a smile is a nice icebreaker- but I'm not one for feeling like a piece of meat. I've heard women don't like being treated that way and I think it's true of me too.

 

[RP_adept]

on hitting on men

This is where many of us men get all confused with the "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It gets us into trouble more often than not. Most of my friends would have been VERY flattered to be hit upon...myself included. Happened once to me. As far as some of the discussion has gone, hitting up and conversation, well, the hitting on someone IS dependent on the conversation as well as the non-verbals. You women have the added body language, curves, hair toss, number of undone buttons etc that are all PART of hitting on, AS WELL as the more passive letting-him-know-its-OK-to-flirt approach. It's a matter of degree and self confidence.
Good luck, and congrats to the lucky guy!

 

[urguyscott]

Everyone talks of equal rights, but there will always be a difference between how men and women do things. A guy knows that if he tries something with a woman he might get shot down or he might get in a hell of a lot of trouble. But a woman can come on to a man and not be arrested by the police. But still a guy might think something is wrong if a woman is cool and brave enough to let the man know she wants him. I like an aggressive woman who isn't afraid to let you know she is horny and wants some man meat. If for some crazy reason I don't want to enjoy her I won't say or do anything to make her feel bad the way women do with guys they turn down. I have had married women come on to me at a time when I thought getting shot for some hot piece of ass might not be a good idea.

The world would be a better place if people could be honest with each other and say what they want. Now a days, we have lost our freedom of speech and must be "politically correct" or face trouble. Just remember, life is short and when you are one hundred and fifty and look back and say "damn she was hot, I wish I had gone for it." or "he looked like he could rock my world, why didn't I come on to him?" it will be too late. You can't go back and have a do over. So take a deep breath and grab some cock ladies.

Ladies, you can charm a man easy. Believe it or not we are all slaves to you. We may be in charge and be macho, but pussy rules.

 

[Bigspurt]

I love it when a woman takes the initiative if there is a spark. The shame of that is that I am married and therefore practically never in a position to be able to take advantage of the situation should it occur.

Recall the "old saying". A guy hopes he will get lucky, a woman knows when she will get lucky.

I did have an encounter once with a very pretty but down to earth, working lady. I stopped at a convenience store to purchase a three pack of Magnums because I had a plan to call on lady. The connection phone call didn't go well. As I was walking into the store this other woman was walking out with a quart of milk and some other stuff in a bag and as we passed we traded smiles which were more than "just a smile". When my plan didn't go so well, I sat down in the car and went to Backpage and found an ad that looked like the lady with the milk. I called her and introduced my self as the guy she just smiled at. We had a great time!

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I'll answer and tell a story. First off the woman above could do this because guys will let this happen. If it were reversed the guy would be a creep and be told to get lost or worse. Unless of course he was just what she dreamed of.

When I was in college I worked for an Italian lady (Maria) who loved company and plied me with wine any time I came over. One day her Avon lady was there and we started into the bottles. She had been there a while already so was feeling good. The conversation turned dirty and she kept hinting but being the typical dumb guy I didn't think the 45 year old Avon lady wanted anything to do with me. She then said "Well I don't think you can get it up long enough to fuck me." At that point I was smart enough to call her bluff, got up asked Maria if I could use a bedroom and took the Avon Lady to bed.

I think a woman would have more luck with younger guys as they are open to it. I'm almost 57 and if that were to happen then I would think it was a joke or she wanted my money. LOL Perhaps if a lady around my age were to start a conversation in a direct way it may work. Would be nice.

I like to test hunches. I was also a good looking young man. But I discovered plenty of women will fuck you if you ask them politely. I never propositioned anyone in public, but a few times the ladies propositioned me with the husband there. I suggest many men like their women straying.

 

[malefica]

I've never spontaneously just randomly initiated conversation with a man with the intention of hitting on him, but in all of my relationships/sexual/romantic partnerships so far, I've been the one to initiate that line of discussion if a friendship has already been established. And I was the first to message my Master, who I now live with.

So sure, I've got no problem with doing it.

 

[roxs12ems]

I cant be much help, apparently I am completely oblivious anytime a women has hit on me......I am a friendly person and talk to people everywhere I go and usually just assume they are the same.

 

[Sailchick]

Eye contact

It's amazing the reaction you can get with guys with direct, lingering eye contact. With some guys the feeling and tension is almost electric. I'm married and I don't take it to the next stage, but I so enjoy the flirt and the excitement.

 

[holliday1960]

Would it be strange to walk up to a man and start hitting on him? Would he take it seriously or think the woman is coming on to strong?

Have any women been successful or have funny stories to share where they weren't successful. I guess men could share funny stories too.

I never really saw myself as anything other than shy, but I guess I am a chronic "hitter".

First hubby: I was having a glass of wine with a girlfriend after work one evening. We walked into an open air place on the beach, and I immediately spotted this guy. I walked up to the bar to order and told my girlfriend, "See that table over there? Go sit there." When she asked why that particular table, I told her, "See the guy at the next table? I'm gonna marry him!"

My friend didn't believe me, so I made her a bet. A few minutes later, I called him over to our table and told him, "I have a bet with my friend and we need you to settle the bet." He kinda grinned and agreed, asking what the bet was about. My friend blurted out, "She's crazy! She bet me that she is gonna marry you!"

His mouth dropped for a second. I said, "Well, am I right?" Six months later, we were married.

It's a little weird to realize in hindsight that I hit on nearly every man I have ever had a serious relationship with.

 

[michael1966b]

It's amazing the reaction you can get with guys with direct, lingering eye contact. With some guys the feeling and tension is almost electric. I'm married and I don't take it to the next stage, but I so enjoy the flirt and the excitement.

mmmmm... the thrill of knowing you can't (or shouldn't) let it progress to the next stage!

 

[hashtag45]

Never did it IRL.
But then it's frustrating to not know where one stands either.
So I guess for me, clear messages and knowing where I stand (even if the message was far from positive) are better than having all my freaky yet pointless fantasies.

 

[Sweet1533]

That's right

Hmm...so walk up to a man and tell him to stop what he's doing and pay attention to you? I wouldn't call this hitting on someone. It seems like it would just be irritating but I guess men disagree.

This is exactly the right thing to do. Yes, he'll be irritated if he's not open to a new person, but honestly it's the confidence that is exuded that will make any man take notice. And that's really what it's all about, getting the initial attention, the rest seems to work itself out.

 

[hashtag45]

I'm just as feminist as one can be, but when it comes to such things, isn't that a guy's job?
And yes, he might be flattered that someone finds him attractive. But in the end, I don't think that overall one would score many points with that sort of approach.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

To read the bull shit posted here makes me think I grew up in a parallel universe. IF SHE WANTS YOU SHE'LL COME AFTER YOU. Females have zero dignity when it comes to what they want. Females talk shit and do another.

 

[hashtag45]

To read the bull shit posted here makes me think I grew up in a parallel universe. IF SHE WANTS YOU SHE'LL COME AFTER YOU. Females have zero dignity when it comes to what they want. Females talk shit and do another.

Huh?
What sort of island do you live on? I don't know how things are on Lit., but IRL - most women that I came across aren't like that.

 

[MaybeTwins]

It depends what you mean by "hitting on". I think both sexes hit on each other just as much, but adopt completely opposite tactics. The male tactic is to see something he likes and go and talk to her. The female tactic is to make eye contact with the object of her desire and smile a little. Both of these could be described as "hitting on" each other.

That's how it has always worked for me, anyway. A girl I see when I'm out and about makes eye contact. Smiles. There's a spark. She's hitting on me. That's my cue if the spark is mutual.

 

[KayceeCharles]

A lot of this depends on personality.

Some psychologists or researchers will blah blah about the female should be satisfying the male hunting instinct by playing just a LITTLE BIT hard to get, let him make the first move, etc. and so forth.

But that's more about alpha males than the meeker (but freaky behind closed doors) IT nerds.

 

[rgbyman]

Getting hit on by women (or men for that matter)

We men, at the end of the day, all have fragile egos. Every last one of us, love having it (amongst other things) stroked.

From the geekiest, shy, fragile boy, to the hottest, ripped, most cocksure man; we all love being told and made to feel that he is "WANTED".

Some might be bashful and run, but having that ego stroke is probably better than an actual orgasm. Without question at least more memorable.

If that advance leads to an actual act of sex, that man will remember it for the rest of his life.

 

[hashtag45]

We men, at the end of the day, all have fragile egos. Every last one of us, love having it (amongst other things) stroked.

From the geekiest, shy, fragile boy, to the hottest, ripped, most cocksure man; we all love being told and made to feel that he is "WANTED".

Some might be bashful and run, but having that ego stroke is probably better than an actual orgasm. Without question at least more memorable.

If that advance leads to an actual act of sex, that man will remember it for the rest of his life.

True.
But no woman likes to be seen as the ridiculous wallflower who made a pass at a guy, even if by doing that they stroked the guy's ego.

 

[rgbyman]

True.
But no woman likes to be seen as the ridiculous wallflower who made a pass at a guy, even if by doing that they stroked the guy's ego.

The judgement of being seen as "the ridiculous wallflower" is for the person who didn't take a chance to step outside of their own comfort zone to deal with.


Stepping out of one's own self and taking risks to "seize" their own fate is in and of itself a tremendous accomplishment.

In this example, very well could lead to some AWESOME erotic adventures.

 

[DivingJoy]

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