Holding Your Tongue

[silverwhisper]

[dupe nuked by me]



ed

 

[silverwhisper]

the upper limit to the # of smileys you can put in a post is 10, if anybody's curious. :>

ed

 

[h_i_s]

Very interesting topic Applebiter ....

How many times do you find yourself doing this on Lit?

Far more often than i feel comfortable with.

Anyhow, to the advice-givers, do you ever hold your tongue?

Most times, i have... yes.

Do you read through a thread and back away before you say what you know needs to be said, or do you tell it like it is?

Normally i back off and stear clear of commenting as most often than not most can't handle hearing the truth.

However ...
Long story short here .... "Girl shows pics. Girl asks for people to tell her what they think of her pics.". Welllll ... although i am bi & do like what is portrayed in the pics ... i didn't like hers that is pictured in the photos she posted. It just wasn't *my type* ... just not the type that does it for me. And so .....i decided, "Hell. i'm so sick and tired of not commenting at all simply because i am constantly concerned that i will be misunderstood, or condemned for saying exactly what is on my mind. How can i be me if i am always having to second guess myself in having to constantly make sure that i am playing by everyone else's expectations and friggin rules. ". And i'm thinking that i'll just post what is on my mind ...... so i did.

So ......
i let loose ... and let the honest truth flow. i said exactly what i felt and what i was thinking ... while KNOWING that my reply would stick out like a sore thumb simply because it would not match the opinions of others. And others didn't like it too much. Said i was mean, cold hearted etc ect and that i should have not posted at all if i didn't have something nice to say about the photos.
Welllll ... biggest issue i have with that: i feel like others would be controling my opinions if i didn't stick to my guns in expressing what i think/feel/believe. That would just NOT be me expressing myself if that were the case. i'm thinking like ... this is the friggin internet and all we have on a forum which can identify who the hell we are sitting behind these keyboards are our rights to self expression ... our thoughts, our ideas, our beliefs, and our feelings & opinions.

Shoot ... best part is, i worded the post very carefully so as not to sound mean. If i'd wanted to be mean ... the reply i posted wouldn't have even come close to what i could have expressed. The shit still hit the fan and flew back in my direction ... i received post after post from one person after another ... complaining that my 'honest opinion' was just mean. And as i sat reading those replies... i was thinking, "Why should i not include my reply just because it doesn't agree with all of the others?? Why should should i sit back and reply with a post that states that i like the pics when i DON'T?? Just to 'fit in'?. Pfffffttttt ....

i don't know .... sometimes it seems others are just too damn sensative .... too politically correct and god damned fake ... too worried about what others might think, always concerned with fitting in. i can't hang with being a fake. Sometimes you can't win for trying. One thing i learned from the whole experience is that since i'm damned if i do & damned if i don't ..... i'm not about to change for anyone else. i'll keep posting exactly what *i* feel is appropriate and the rest can choose for *themselves* what is best for them to post ... and keep their judgements out of my reply box.

One of the reasons i like Lit forums is because many do tell it like it is. If i wanted to read a bunch of politically fake/censored fluff i'd go back to any of the many other forums where i quit posting due to feeling so stifled in my comfort to be *me* before i found Lit.

 

[SweetErika]

So ......
i let loose ... and let the honest truth flow. i said exactly what i felt and what i was thinking ... while KNOWING that my reply would stick out like a sore thumb simply because it would not match the opinions of others. And others didn't like it too much. Said i was mean, cold hearted etc ect and that i should have not posted at all if i didn't have something nice to say about the photos.
Welllll ... biggest issue i have with that: i feel like others would be controling my opinions if i didn't stick to my guns in expressing what i think/feel/believe. That would just NOT be me expressing myself if that were the case. i'm thinking like ... this is the friggin internet and all we have on a forum which can identify who the hell we are sitting behind these keyboards are our rights to self expression ... our thoughts, our ideas, our beliefs, and our feelings & opinions.

Shoot ... best part is, i worded the post very carefully so as not to sound mean. If i'd wanted to be mean ... the reply i posted wouldn't have even come close to what i could have expressed. The shit still hit the fan and flew back in my direction ... i received post after post from one person after another ... complaining that my 'honest opinion' was just mean. And as i sat reading those replies... i was thinking, "Why should i not include my reply just because it doesn't agree with all of the others?? Why should should i sit back and reply with a post that states that i like the pics when i DON'T?? Just to 'fit in'?. Pfffffttttt ....

i don't know .... sometimes it seems others are just too damn sensative .... too politically correct and god damned fake ... too worried about what others might think, always concerned with fitting in. i can't hang with being a fake. Sometimes you can't win for trying. One thing i learned from the whole experience is that since i'm damned if i do & damned if i don't ..... i'm not about to change for anyone else. i'll keep posting exactly what *i* feel is appropriate and the rest can choose for *themselves* what is best for them to post ... and keep their judgements out of my reply box.

One of the reasons i like Lit forums is because many do tell it like it is. If i wanted to read a bunch of politically fake/censored fluff i'd go back to any of the many other forums where i quit posting due to feeling so stifled in my comfort to be *me* before i found Lit.

I've felt the same thing in that particular forum. The worst was when I actually posted and ASKED for honesty and constructive criticism. I figured who better to ask than a group that goes through pics on a regular basis, right? From the response, every single person liked the material and wouldn't do a thing to change it. Anyway, to me, the glut of compliments and lack of criticism (or well said opinions like yours), only served to make me believe that it was all pretty fake or I wasn't getting the whole story, which makes me not want to post at all.

I find it ironic that at a place that touts free speech so much, there is a board that discourages differing opinions. I know they have the rule about "If you can't say anything nice..." there, and I can see the benefit--trolls and meanies would be all over if there wasn't, but I don't see kind honesty or constructive criticism as mean, and certainly not when it's asked for.

 

[Quoll]

Sheesh I hold my tongue on so many things, a habit of a lifetime I guess.
There are plenty of things that have been said here that I have an opinion on like pyro paul and the cheating thread and so many others, and often I start to reply but end up backing out. I guess a lot of it depends on the mood I'm in but also there are a lot of people here who have similar thoughts and ideas to me and if what I want to say has already been said then I tend to just back out. It's not a situation I am completetly happy with and something I need to work on I guess.

 

[Quoll]

Ok a little self analysis, apparently if I see something I perceive to be an injustice towards someone, I do speak out. I can live with that.

 

[Eilan]

Sorry, just couldn't hold my tongue. Eilan, haven't we been all through this deplorable penchant of yours to keep yourself covered when you're here in Lit?

Apparently I can talk the talk, but I can't walk the walk.

 

[Guest]

 

[yoshimitsu]

Maybe I'm stirring up trouble, but I'll be impressed if anyone can hold their tongue on this one.

I caved
It wasn't even a great reply but oh well.

 

[Eilan]

I don't know if any of you are familiar with it or not, but the Advice Lines section of AdultFriendFinder's Magazine really makes me appreciate the quality of people who post in our community.

Because I deactivated my (couples) profile, I don't go there nearly as often as I used to, but when I do go there, I'm unable to hold my tongue.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I have a really hard time holding my tongue when some guy tells his girl there must be something wrong with her because she can't come from whatever he's doing. There's a G-spot question thread in How To where her boyfriend said he can feel the G-spot inflating and then it deflates - he told her she must have a leak! WTF?? Now she thinks she's 'broken' and there's something wrong with her.



Just because a woman's orgasms take more effort than a guy's, doesn't mean there's anything WRONG with her!

 

[yoshimitsu]

I have a really hard time holding my tongue when some guy tells his girl there must be something wrong with her because she can't come from whatever he's doing. There's a G-spot question thread in How To where her boyfriend said he can feel the G-spot inflating and then it deflates - he told her she must have a leak! WTF?? Now she thinks she's 'broken' and there's something wrong with her.



Just because a woman's orgasms take more effort than a guy's, doesn't mean there's anything WRONG with her!

Did you tell him to try a bottle of fix a flat? That stuff works wonders.

 

[Eilan]

I have a really hard time holding my tongue when some guy tells his girl there must be something wrong with her because she can't come from whatever he's doing. There's a G-spot question thread in How To where her boyfriend said he can feel the G-spot inflating and then it deflates - he told her she must have a leak! WTF?? Now she thinks she's 'broken' and there's something wrong with her.

WHAT!?!?

 

[Quoll]

I have a really hard time holding my tongue when some guy tells his girl there must be something wrong with her because she can't come from whatever he's doing. There's a G-spot question thread in How To where her boyfriend said he can feel the G-spot inflating and then it deflates - he told her she must have a leak! WTF?? Now she thinks she's 'broken' and there's something wrong with her.



Just because a woman's orgasms take more effort than a guy's, doesn't mean there's anything WRONG with her!

I am now officially embarrassed to be male.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I am now officially embarrassed to be male.

Apparently, you don't have to be embarrassed just yet...she replied to my rant and said her boyfriend had really been joking about her having a leak.


But stick around - you're likely to have reason to be embarrassed soon enough.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I was a bit taken aback by the whole inflating thing because I've never noticed that, myself. Although I thought I did VERY well in holding my tongue, because there was this nearly unstoppable urge to ask if this deflation was accompanied by a fluttering whistle, like the air being let out of a balloon.

I thought that might be inappropriate, however.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Sigh...Here's another brilliant one!

I bit my tongue so hard on this one it's bleeding! MEDIC!!!!!

Why doesn't it work out? Well, if he phone fucks like he types...

 

[Eilan]

Sigh...Here's another brilliant one!

I bit my tongue so hard on this one it's bleeding! MEDIC!!!!!

Why doesn't it work out? Well, if he phone fucks like he types...

Yeah, how does phone-fisting work, anyway? Oh. Wait. That was a typo.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Yeah, how does phone-fisting work, anyway? Oh. Wait. That was a typo.

That's taking "reach out and touch someone" to a WHOLE new level.

 

[Eilan]

Ok, I wasn't mean (at least I don't think I was), but because I'd seen a previous thread by this woman on the GB, I had to respond. You may want to follow the link in my post on that thread to see exactly what I'm talking about.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=374074

 

[LadyJeanne]

Am I the only one wondering how long this guy holds out before posting those pictures of his wife somewhere?

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=373861

 

[SonOfAGhost]

On a given forum site I try to limit my responses to threads that are either close to the main thrust of the site (or at least the part of it that interests me, there's some interesting combination sites out there) or fall under what I think of as 'community building'. Threads that allow site members to know each other in a broader context than the site subject. Polls are great for that.

I further limit what I respond to because I know I have a tendency to get a bit verbose. Somehow whenever I make a short response I tend to get flamed by someone that actually shares my position on a given topic but misunderstood what I wrote.

Normally I make myself fairly clear the first time and don't respond further unless there's a misunderstanding. Once in a while though you see someone say something that is just so far out of whack that you just can't let it go. Case in point today I saw a reply to a poll thread that started off "Democracy isn't the same as Majority Rule" and just couldn't refrain from breaking out the dictionary and setting them straight before such misinformation spread to far.

Which brings me back to the subject this thread. Holding your tongue isn't too hard if what you might reply to is only slightly off the mark or if others of a like mind have already replied. However, if someone's post can only be described as 'completely whacked', yet seems sincere and not an obvious troll trying to ignite a flame war, it's probably best to toss a couple pennies in the hat. If they're so far out to lunch they'll probably ignore whatever you say, but at least you'll have a clean concience knowing you at least tried to be helpful.

Then there's the matter of when to be blunt and when to be more diplomatic or even discuss things in a purely academic manner...but that's another thread entirely I think

 

[Guest]

 

[Eilan]

When I read his thread starting post, I first suspected he was looking for people to respond saying "post the pics anyway". I would be surprised if he posted them here, but somewhere else? I don't know.

Well, this is a porn board, right? That means anything goes when it comes to all things sex. It also means that if we don't condone or agree with someone's behavior, then we're obviously prudes who don't belong here.

 

[Guest]