How did you discover your kink?

[HumpDayHoratio]

Two uncles from different sides of the families porn collection.

One of mom’s brothers and father of my favorite cousin, had a HUGE collection of Playboys in the back bathroom. We’d go grab one and look at the girls. There was a collage of pics on a page. In a small photo there was a girl on all fours, collar and leash to a guy standing in all leather. That’s it. Sparked my first kink. Oddly, I’m not much into that now but I can chalk this up to my first.

Second uncle from my dads side lived in an old maids quarters house on our family farm. We’d go up and he’d give me the keys to go hang out and get away from my grandparents for a while. He also had a satellite dish so I could watch some TV, sample some beer/wine/whiskey. He had a HUGE collection of Penthouse Mags. I’d squirrel one away and take it back to wank late at night.

Mostly it was the typical Penthouse Forum article; “I was attending a small Midwest college and met this girl” type of stories but on this particular night, I’ll never forget it, Rick James “Superfreak” was on the radio and I was reading this story about a woman who let her lover come in her ass, went to work and got off as she leaked spooge all day during her shift. Sold! I wanked at least three times to that story! Second kink in the books!

 

[varv]

I've already confessed my fetish here. How did I know? I liked the thrill when I was naked in places where it is usually not accepted. Then, because of my curiosity and passion for the unusual, I wanted to open my horizons. And I decided to do desperate things. I didn't know then what exhibitionism was, but I clearly fell under its spell. Once there was a scandal. I lost my parents at a very young age, and I was raised by my mom's parents. It so happened that they found out about my "pranks" from the outside. And of course the punishment followed. Grandfather decided to simulate a situation when, according to his plan, I had to experience, if not humiliation, then definitely embarrassment. He did everything so that I was forced to appear naked in front of his friends. But, the effect was the opposite. I realized that even I like to worry about it. That's how I understood. Yes, this is the kink.

 

[Blondieshare]

My kink is sharing my beautiful wife.

When I first met my wife. Her libido was huge and I made a comment about how she could easily cope with more than one man at the same time. She agreed.
I later posed to question, “How many men do you think you could manage.” She replied, “Seven.”
I asked he if she was serious and she said she was. But would never do that to me even if she could.
I would get an instant erection each time I thought about it or we talked about it during our sex.
All of our married lives she has been faithful. But after a tragic event something changed within us. We may now achieve her sexual ambitions, albeit significantly with reduced numbers. Threesome perhaps?

 

[Howardstark1910]

I have always had a submissive streak, but I got married and lived a good vanilla life for 5 years. Sex was good, but she never came just from penetration.

Wife went on a work trip to Europe for a month. It was a lot, but she checked in regularly. She come home and is acting weird for a day until I confronted her. She had an affair, and the sex was so good she was leaving me. It sounds like a cop-out for a bad home life, but we were doing good together. She said she cheated more than she could count with a hung guy she met. She didn’t elaborate, but I found her messages accidentally. She was being a submissive slut for him. She also said that she knew she would leave me the moment he entered her.

We got divorced, but I dove into being a cuck/beta/wimp as kink and it has been ssoooooooo good.

 

[PaxNurgle]

I am sorry to hear about your divorce, but this brings up a point; do you think it could have been possible to stay with her if you had re-worked out some of the details of the marriage? For example, she would be allowed to have sex with whomever (and whenever) she wanted, while you would remain her loving companion and partner and share emotional intimacy and romance, if not sex. So in other words, you would be HER cuck/beta/wimp, and there would still be platonic, even romantic, love between the two of you, while of course she would use other lovers for pure sexual satisfaction. I ask this, because I suspect many men in your situation still do love their wives and want to be with them even if they can no longer sexually satisfy them. And hopefully the same is true of the woman; they may love their cuck husbands even if they no longer choose to sleep with them.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I have no experience nor interest in the cuck thing, but I can tell you from a poly viewpoint that this is where you might run into trouble:

there would still be platonic, even romantic, love between the two of you, while of course she would use other lovers for pure sexual satisfaction.

pure sexual satisfaction

Because this ^, isn’t necessarily what the other person wants and even if they think it is, noone can guarantee that it will stay that way.

I’m not saying that it can’t work. Just that you need to be aware that humans and their relationships are hard to keep confined to their neat boxes.

 

[Goldenfinger]

With my wife and still discovering.

 

[Dapperguy]

I didn't discover my fetish, I am my fetish.

 

[AspiringAuthor]

I've romanticized consensual non-consent play for a long time, long before I even knew what to call it. Now, to be honest, I was a late bloomer in every possible way, sexuality included. Unfortunately, I've not been in a position to fulfill this particular kink, or any of the other kinks that perambulate inside my head on a daily basis. My husband is so vanilla, even vanilla beans are jealous, and my first lover was nothing to write home about. Someday, though, I hope I get to experience them all with that one special guy. He promises we will.

 

[Mtnmike]

I've romanticized consensual non-consent play for a long time, long before I even knew what to call it. Now, to be honest, I was a late bloomer in every possible way, sexuality included. Unfortunately, I've not been in a position to fulfill this particular kink, or any of the other kinks that perambulate inside my head on a daily basis. My husband is so vanilla, even vanilla beans are jealous, and my first lover was nothing to write home about. Someday, though, I hope I get to experience them all with that one special guy. He promises we will.

Hope you get to, I like yourself as a late bloomer & the wife was vanilla to before going sexless, so guess all mine will remain fantasies unfortunately.

 

[AspiringAuthor]

Hope you get to, I like yourself as a late bloomer & the wife was vanilla to before going sexless, so guess all mine will remain fantasies unfortunately.

Before I met my guy, I was in that very same situation, back before I realized that there was still life left to live, and I wanted to experience it all. Before I realized there's more to life than staying with a physically and verbally abusive man.

I wish you were able to experience your fantasies some day. Everyone deserves that, I think.

 

[Bbl87]

My husband is so vanilla, even vanilla beans are jealous, and my first lover was nothing to write home about. Someday, though, I hope I get to experience them all with that one special guy. He promises we will.

While my wife is not quite THAT vanilla (she likes some light bondage and does try to feed my breeding kink now and then), I can definitely empathize. I'd like to explore a little more, be it positions, kinks, etc., but she isn't all that open to it, especially things she's tried with past partners ("I've tried that, it's not that good, you're not missing anything").

 

[Mochamommy84]

I think I didn’t really discover my kink until I joined Lit and started talking to other members. This one member in particular became someone I could easily talk to and he encouraged me to let loose and really explore those desires.

 

[hulmule]

Cant say i have one kink. I'm just a very sexual person who enjoys the art of deep kissing, touching, caressing of a woman body and would to have the same done to me.Do love my cock sucked, but has to be deep. But in a sexless marriage so it hasn't happened in years. Wife was always very vanilla and to this day will not discuss sex or like or dislikes. Sad cause i see so many women on lit her that are in touch with their sexual desires. Wish i could get my wife to open up

 

[Mochamommy84]

Cant say i have one kink. I'm just a very sexual person who enjoys the art of deep kissing, touching, caressing of a woman body and would to have the same done to me.Do love my cock sucked, but has to be deep. But in a sexless marriage so it hasn't happened in years. Wife was always very vanilla and to this day will not discuss sex or like or dislikes. Sad cause i see so many women on lit her that are in touch with their sexual desires. Wish i could get my wife to open up

I know exactly how you feel! My ex was so vanilla when it came to sex! He wouldn’t even let me give him a blowjob!!!! I tried role playing, sex toys, porn- whatever I thought might get him to explore with me. And I’ve always had kinks and fantasies but he’d make me feel so ashamed of having them that I didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell him about them.

 

[hulmule]

I know exactly how you feel! My ex was so vanilla when it came to sex! He wouldn’t even let me give him a blowjob!!!! I tried role playing, sex toys, porn- whatever I thought might get him to explore with me. And I’ve always had kinks and fantasies but he’d make me feel so ashamed of having them that I didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell him about them.

Sad that our spouse's dont have the same energy we have or arent open to try and support , enjoy more things in life

 

[Mochamommy84]

Sad that our spouse's dont have the same energy we have or arent open to try and support , enjoy more things in life

Hopefully your situation with your wife will improve and perhaps you’ll one day get her to open up and explore some things with you. My relationship has been over, and he’s settled down with someone who I guess shares his sexual drive and ideas….. I’m just waiting for that guy who shares my passion and desires to explore to come along and help me live out my fantasies!

 

[hulmule]

Hopefully your situation with your wife will improve and perhaps you’ll one day get her to open up and explore some things with you. My relationship has been over, and he’s settled down with someone who I guess shares his sexual drive and ideas….. I’m just waiting for that guy who shares my passion and desires to explore to come along and help me live out my fantasies!

Love to hear more about that !!

 

[AspiringAuthor]

And I’ve always had kinks and fantasies but he’d make me feel so ashamed of having them that I didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell him about them.

This!! The one time last year, it might have been my last attempt at saving anything, I asked him if he would help me realize a fantasy I've had forever. He heard the word "fantasy," assumed from the start it was something super perverted, and he shut down the conversation right away. And that's when he killed the last bit of love I might have had for him.

Now, if I asked the same thing of my sweetheart, he'd have had me tied down to the bed before I finished getting the question out of my mouth. I like that in a guy. Doesn't argue, he just does it because it would make his partner happy.

I wish partners were always this adventurous. How is it we end up so horribly mismatched? Well, I know how I did. That's a story for a different thread.

 

[IrisAlthea]

How is it we end up so horribly mismatched?

People marry without knowing themselves or their partners.
They also tend to think that their partners are some kind of DIY project and/or that marriage magically transforms people and relationships.
And people do change with time and life - just not always the way we or they had thought/wanted.

 

[Mochamommy84]

This!! The one time last year, it might have been my last attempt at saving anything, I asked him if he would help me realize a fantasy I've had forever. He heard the word "fantasy," assumed from the start it was something super perverted, and he shut down the conversation right away. And that's when he killed the last bit of love I might have had for him.

Now, if I asked the same thing of my sweetheart, he'd have had me tied down to the bed before I finished getting the question out of my mouth. I like that in a guy. Doesn't argue, he just does it because it would make his partner happy.

I wish partners were always this adventurous. How is it we end up so horribly mismatched? Well, I know how I did. That's a story for a different thread.

I know exactly what you mean!!! At least you were able to ask your partner. I could just bring up the smallest thing and I’d end up feeling like some dirty slut for even thinking of such fantasies and desires.

I think our age at the time we got together and everything that happened immediately after that lead to us being together as long as we were. Looking back on it now all the telltale signs were there that we were mismatched.

 

[AspiringAuthor]

I could just bring up the smallest thing and I’d end up feeling like some dirty slut for even thinking of such fantasies and desires.

That is exactly how I was made to feel. He made me feel broken, and dirty, and perverted, even though what I wanted was so tame, it was borderline vanilla. Here on Lit, it wouldn't even be met with a look of derision.

I don't wish to hijack the thread and talk about my issues here. There's too many, and it would take a long time to unpack it.

 

[AspiringAuthor]

People marry without knowing themselves or their partners.

True. We got married on our fourth "date." We were a long-distance couple. Again, a long list of circumstances got me to the point where I'd marry someone I'd only seen physically three times before our wedding. It makes me shudder now.

And people do change with time and life - just not always the way we or they had thought/wanted.

As the years passed, and his mask lifted, I discovered (beyond his medical issues... that's another thread entirely) that he was a grade A narcissist. So many things I wish I'd known ahead of time. They'd have been game changers.

 

[PaxNurgle]

I tried dating a narcissist once, and it didn't work work out. While I was initially attracted both to her physically and to her dominance- (The latter of which is a HUGE turn-on for us guys, trust me!) her narcissism ended up being a huge turn-OFF, and that quickly became a deal breaker.

 

[Mtnmike]

Before I met my guy, I was in that very same situation, back before I realized that there was still life left to live, and I wanted to experience it all. Before I realized there's more to life than staying with a physically and verbally abusive man.

I wish you were able to experience your fantasies some day. Everyone deserves that, I think.

So sorry you went through an abusive relationship, I have never understood men that do that, it's wrong & uncalled for!!!
Thank You, hope you get experience yours to.