How do you handle rejection??

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: Jewelz honey,

----------------------------
Richard

You sound like a wonderful lover and person. (not in that order)
To feel abandonment is like a level higher on the rejection ladder. I'm glad to know that you are talking to friends, here and in r/l about your feelings and the why's of life.

You also sound intelligent and sensitive. In my eyes you are wonderful and once you're able to lick your wounds a little more and give your injuries time to mend, I think you will find more than one woman dying to kneel and beg for you I know I would!
----

sortacurious

You ahve lefted my spirits.

Even though I do not know what you look like I can picture you kneeling before me <smile>

Richard
Michigan

 

[Jewelz]

sortacurious......i hope you can feel the warm hugs i am sending your way!! I am sorry you had a not so nice day. I have been crying on the inside alot since last night. and i told MissT that today would be a better day...in some ways it was, in the way i needed it to be...nope! the only thing i have left is hope and faith that we will be ok in the end....it scares me to read about all these long marriages ending. i think sometimes "gosh that could be US"...and i really dont want it to be. so im hanging, and just loving what he does give me. *deep sigh* i have high hopes for you too sweetie. you seem so sincere, so full of love....lots to offer.

**isnt it wild how many replies this thread got, of course, most are mine responding to those that replied....but still. this thread has taught me alot and while i was worried to post it at first, now i am very glad i did! ive met some wonderful people thru this thread alone that i am not sure i wouldve otherwise. and have hopes of making lifelong friends as well....thats just me, the mushy type LOL

Lixx n love to all!

 

[sortacurious]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Jewelz honey,

sortacurious

You ahve lefted my spirits.

Even though I do not know what you look like I can picture you kneeling before me <smile>

Richard
Michigan

*giggle* I did some picturing myself and got all flushed and warm and tingly. What do suppose that means?

 

[Richard49]

sortacurious gets tingly <beg>

*giggle* I did some picturing myself and got all flushed and warm and tingly. What do suppose that means?

I did PM you.

Now why did get all flushed and tingly?
You put TieFu oil on you? <grin>

I will refrane from speaking more <bites tongue>

Richard

 

[Cherry Blossom]

Re: Re: Jewelz honey,

Dawn, I appreciate your words and advice more than you know. Today, as we were talking about this thread..I asked him why *I* was missing something ...he said "dunno, figure it out cuz i dont think there is anything missing".....I said, "ok, here is what i know is missing and what i need is"....-FILL IN THE BLANK- at the numerous things i unveiled for him today....he keeps staring at the computer screen ....i said "ok? did you hear any of that?" and he said "yep".....got up and walked back in the living room.. ....i am at the point that i am just sick and tired of trying to convey things to him. I said "so, do you think you will try to appease me with ANY of this shit i just told you".....he just shook his head yes...then i shook my head out of frustration and gave him "the look"....he said "Now what"...i said "this is what i am sick and tired of...being the only one to communicate things in EVERY issue of our marriage".....his response...."Dont start on that shit today"....walks away......lucky me..

Time maybe? This may be all too much for him to take in at once (and could he be feeling ganged up on since the Lit gang joined the argument?). Maybe a little time to let him think and let it all sink in will help?

I know the obvious response -- he's had 14 years to hear it and think about it -- but if he loves you, he'll try again to wrap his brain around what you're saying and maybe this time he'll succeed. I really hope he does!

You hang in there! You're doing the right thing trying so hard, and I just gotta believe it will pay off!

C.

 

[Georgia Girl]

One other option.....

tell him you need some space to settle some issues in your mind and for him to do the same. Get your toys and go to another room to sleep for a while. I know it sounds drastic but maybe some space wouldn't be a bad thing. I by no means advocate divorce, it is harder than anyone can possibly imagine. Just an idea.

Dawn

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Re: Re: Jewelz honey,

Time maybe? This may be all too much for him to take in at once (and could he be feeling ganged up on since the Lit gang joined the argument?). Maybe a little time to let him think and let it all sink in will help?

I know the obvious response -- he's had 14 years to hear it and think about it -- but if he loves you, he'll try again to wrap his brain around what you're saying and maybe this time he'll succeed. I really hope he does!

You hang in there! You're doing the right thing trying so hard, and I just gotta believe it will pay off!

C.

I hope he does too CherryB! I seriously dont think I can stress it enough to him.....but at least I can go to bed at night knowing that *I* did do most everything I can do save us. And if it would ever come down to the marriage ending (i pray to God it never does)....then I will have at least comfort knowing I didnt just sit and do nothing, yanno?? HUGS and thanks!!

 

[Ice Cold]

Ah Jewelz, Jewelz, Jewelz....

I was hoping as I got here tonight, it would be with the knowledge that you would be somewhere being fulfilled. But at least you are trying. Talking is always the first part. He can read the messages here, but until the comprehension of what it all means dawns on him you may still be in the same boat.

After 14 years, it may take time for it to soak it, and not just ackowledge is it as another complaint from the wifey. You have love and it sounds like your communicating at least on some level. So don't get too discouraged by the marriages that didn't work out. It doesn't happen to everyone.

Relationships grow and change as time goes on, the trick is to grow together with your partner. A lot of people posted good advice hear and maybe the answer lies somewhere within.

I hope you find it.

 

[IBLNG2LAW]

Re: One other option.....

tell him you need some space to settle some issues in your mind and for him to do the same. Get your toys and go to another room to sleep for a while. I know it sounds drastic but maybe some space wouldn't be a bad thing. I by no means advocate divorce, it is harder than anyone can possibly imagine. Just an idea.

Dawn

I just wanted to add something to GG's other option... Try laying right there in bed beside him and pleasing yourself... It might make him want to join in... If you find that you can't get into it because of the emotional situation right now then I agree that a little space and time is always good for the soul...

 

[Richard49]

Jewelz

Are you doing better on this Sunday morning?

Richard

 

[MissTaken]

I just read this entire thread!

Wow! Great thread...full of compassion, humor , friendship and honesty.

*hugs* Jewelz......

Regardless of whether or not your talking with him worked for you last night, it will open doors to communication in the long run.

His response may have been flat, but if he was preoccupied with something, having a bad day, or just generally feeling crappy, that may have impacted how he answered you.

Never give up on one time! Next time you do make love, introduce him to new ideas, new things.....one thing at a time.

Pardon me, guys, but with the exception of lit men, I find that men are slow learners and need to be handled with kid gloves.

Guide him, dear.

If that doesn't work, come to New York for a weekend. I am sure something will keep you occupied!



Best wishes, hon,

Miss T

 

[Georgia Girl]

Congratulations Richard on reaching 100 and I also hope Jewelz is doing better.

Dawn

 

[Richard49]

So what does that mean?????

Congratulations Richard on reaching 100 and I also hope Jewelz is doing better.

Dawn

So what does it mean to reach 100?
100 what?

Richard

 

[sexyspank]

Re: So what does that mean?????

So what does it mean to reach 100?
100 what?

Richard

Congrats on the 100. This means that you become really experienced and you choose an avatar.(pic under your name)



Love to Jewelz






Wendy

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: So what does that mean?????

Congrats on the 100. This means that you become really experienced and you choose an avatar.(pic under your name)

Love to Jewelz
Wendy

My love to Jewelz also


Ok
paint this Dom computer stupid

How and where do I go to do this pic thing?
Can I usea pic of me?

Perhaps we should take this off this thread?????
Maybe U could email me?

Richard
Michigan

 

[sexyspank]

Re: Re: Re: So what does that mean?????

My love to Jewelz also


Ok
paint this Dom computer stupid

How and where do I go to do this pic thing?
Can I usea pic of me?

Perhaps we should take this off this thread?????
Maybe U could email me?

Richard
Michigan

Richard I tried to pm you but your mailbox is full.


You can use a pic of yourself (max 150x150pixels)
Click on user cp at top of page
Click on edit options
Scroll down to bottom of page and click on change avatar
A browse box will appear. Enter link to your pic.

Any problems pm me and I'll try to help



Wendy

 

[Jewelz]

Re: One other option.....

tell him you need some space to settle some issues in your mind and for him to do the same. Get your toys and go to another room to sleep for a while. I know it sounds drastic but maybe some space wouldn't be a bad thing. I by no means advocate divorce, it is harder than anyone can possibly imagine. Just an idea.

Dawn

Hon, I have tried to settle the issues in my mind and live and let live with everything and just be happy with what I have. I am very blessed and am not blind to that, I guess that is what makes me feel bad inside when I feel rejected, alone, needy.....yanno? Cuz lord knows I could have it much much worse! And dont laugh.....lol.....but we havent slept in the same bed in years!!!! 6 years ago, we had our first daughter. we had a break in when she was 9 mths old and i was home alone with her. a drunk came in threatening us etc...it was a VERY VERY scary time for me. so since that moment, i needed her close to me. was so afraid that he would come back. this inturn led to co sleeping with the kids....just me and the babies in the bed....hubby slept downstairs. BUT this is not the only reason. I am a very very light sleeper and he snores horribly....So in order for me to get any sleep.....i kicked him out LOLOL

This may be "the" problem? I dont know. SIGH on me!

 

[Jewelz]

Ah Jewelz, Jewelz, Jewelz....

I was hoping as I got here tonight, it would be with the knowledge that you would be somewhere being fulfilled. But at least you are trying. Talking is always the first part. He can read the messages here, but until the comprehension of what it all means dawns on him you may still be in the same boat.

After 14 years, it may take time for it to soak it, and not just ackowledge is it as another complaint from the wifey. You have love and it sounds like your communicating at least on some level. So don't get too discouraged by the marriages that didn't work out. It doesn't happen to everyone.

Relationships grow and change as time goes on, the trick is to grow together with your partner. A lot of people posted good advice hear and maybe the answer lies somewhere within.

I hope you find it.

You are so right darling! I am finding myself getting attached to your heart! Thank you for your wisdom and friendship! now kiss me damn it........*Giggle*

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Re: One other option.....

I just wanted to add something to GG's other option... Try laying right there in bed beside him and pleasing yourself... It might make him want to join in... If you find that you can't get into it because of the emotional situation right now then I agree that a little space and time is always good for the soul...

thanks IB! I think I am wanting time AWAY.....not just in different rooms....but a girls night out or something ....but that could lead to trouble....so maybe i should refrain lol

 

[Guest]

Dumb as a box of rocks.

Jewelz, and the other ladies alone.

Been there/done that... on the M side of the equation. Sex 3 times in a day... then nothing for two weeks... with no reason why, and only hostility for an answer.

"It's all about YOU isn't it."

Now onto the box of rocks.

Dumb = speachless.

or, the popular slang version = stupid.

Men in communication = dumb as a box of rocks.


For whatever reason, we sometimes don't speak the same language.
You're rejected and hurt as he's "not in the mood"...
WHY is he not in the mood?
Hell, most men get stiff in a 5 mph breeze... if they're under 25... it has a mind of it's own altogether!

So Ladies, why tonight? Or this weekend?

Could be something so small as to go un-noticed.
Like what happened to me, in a past relationship.

The weekend was "ours" alone... I figured we'd
go do things, have time to get frisky, make dinner,
get frisky, sleep, get frisky... ah, ah... NO.

The new toilet seat, which was asked for LAST weekend, arrived home Thursday.
Friday night... no install.
Saturday AM... no "I plan on installing the toilet seat, before you get out of bed... or right after my first cup of coffee."

To me? No big deal.

To Her?

(you're all answering with the same thing now aren't you?)

"Asshole, obviously you don't give-a-shit about what SHE wants... two fucking screws, and 10 minutes... and you'd be walking bow-legged... but NOOOOOO... it's on the "one-of-these-days" list.
She's had it at home for 36 hours... 36 hours.
10 minutes. 36 hours.
Serves ya right, fucking male pig-asshole!"

See how pissed you are... and not willing to get past that into something "mutally" enjoyable?
Well, guys do that kind of thing too...
(we learn it from Women!)

So Jewelz, pester the shit outta the ol' man... and find out what's chaffing his gonads.
Best done (IMO) while wearing a robe, perfume, and a "we can get busy right after you tell me" look.
I'd confess. Hell, I'd even make things up!

But most of all... don't let it sit.
Unless he's a pig-headed Taurus... then, all you can do is write your message on a board, and whack
him across the head.
(pick the head that does the thinking... no... lower.)

-TT

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Jewelz

Are you doing better on this Sunday morning?

Richard

Better hon, thanks! Issues still not resolved but we did have a HOT night last night.......I have details.......who wants them? LOL

 

[Cherry Blossom]

Re: Re: Jewelz

Better hon, thanks! Issues still not resolved but we did have a HOT night last night.......I have details.......who wants them? LOL

Me! Me!

 

[The Touch]

Re: Dumb as a box of rocks.

Jewelz... I posted the above.
Musta took too long - winded, and became un-logged.
Sorry.

TT

 

[Jewelz]

Originally posted by MissTaken
I just read this entire thread!

Wow! Great thread...full of compassion, humor , friendship and honesty.

*hugs* Jewelz......
Thanks MissT! I really appreciate you taking time to read the ENTIRE thing! lol I had no idea I would have such great response and love, caring, fun and friendship just from posting at a time when I was hurting so much! It truly means alot to me that people do care and are so sweet! (to lil ole me at that!) HUGS backatcha!!!

Regardless of whether or not your talking with him worked for you last night, it will open doors to communication in the long run.

His response may have been flat, but if he was preoccupied with something, having a bad day, or just generally feeling crappy, that may have impacted how he answered you.
true. i had a lil reflection time and realized that in actuality, i *have* rejected sex LOL, but was not as *cold* towards him when I did so "im not in the mood".....which is a VERY VERY rare occasion. so i know he was tired, exhausted, he is in the process of building 3 houses right now and remodeling at 4 other places! it was the WAY he handled telling me he wasnt wanting it.. left me feeling disgusting, undesirable....and that hurt!

Never give up on one time! Next time you do make love, introduce him to new ideas, new things.....one thing at a time.
OMG! a few nights ago, we did just that, I have never swallowed cuz of a past experience with a previous lover, he was plain nasty, so it turned me off...for the first time in 14 years, I swallowed and gave him some of my big blue vibe it was wicked erotic!!!! shhhhh dont tell anyone i told ya'll *giggle*

Pardon me, guys, but with the exception of lit men, I find that men are slow learners and need to be handled with kid gloves.

Guide him, dear.
agreed.....and i spose i will have to do just that...guide him....damn it! LOL

If that doesn't work, come to New York for a weekend. I am sure something will keep you occupied!
ohh I love the invitation! LOL.....I have always wanted to go to NY! Im not that far away....umm.....like 7 or 8 hours! oh i would be in so much trouble up there!


Best wishes, hon,
thank you very much MissT! *kisses*

 

[Jewelz]

Congratulations Richard on reaching 100 and I also hope Jewelz is doing better.

Dawn

Woohooo Richard! Congrats! And thanks sweetheart....I am...a bit anyway!