How do you handle rejection??

[the_b4rtender]

Rejection sucks.Cock and ball torture on the other hand I haven't been here long but i'd just like to say reading the threads like this make my visits here well worth the time spent.Seeing the encouragement and positive responses,some I imagine from even complete strangers is a great thing in my book.The world,with the shape it is in could use alot more people as positive and caring as I would imagine most of you to be. Take Care

 

[Jewelz]

Awww you're too sweet. That's what friends are for.

Im lucky to have you for a friend!

 

[Cherry Blossom]

Rejection sucks.Cock and ball torture on the other hand I haven't been here long but i'd just like to say reading the threads like this make my visits here well worth the time spent.Seeing the encouragement and positive responses,some I imagine from even complete strangers is a great thing in my book.The world,with the shape it is in could use alot more people as positive and caring as I would imagine most of you to be. Take Care

Hey Bartender! Jewelz just made 500 posts, so how 'bout some drinks? A round on me!

 

[Jewelz]

Rejection sucks.Cock and ball torture on the other hand I haven't been here long but i'd just like to say reading the threads like this make my visits here well worth the time spent.Seeing the encouragement and positive responses,some I imagine from even complete strangers is a great thing in my book.The world,with the shape it is in could use alot more people as positive and caring as I would imagine most of you to be. Take Care

What a WONDERFUL post to read! Thank you so much for that! Believe it or not.....everyone who responded *are* complete strangers to me. I do however hope to get to know alot more people here on a more intimate level...no, not just the joys of cyber....friendship wise...

Welcome to Lit! Glad to have you with us! I wasnt going to post what I did last night...but now I am glad I did cuz I gained some new friends from it!! And from the PMs Im getting, its helped alot of people too, to know they arent alone with certain things That makes me feel great inside!

HUGS

 

[Jewelz]

Hey Bartender! Jewelz just made 500 posts, so how 'bout some drinks? A round on me!

Oh thanks Cherry! I will start with a tequila rose please!!

 

[the_b4rtender]

Sure thing.What will it be?

 

[Lady_Sam]

I may be spending my nights alone, but I did a lot of thinking last night. I would much rather be alone than with a guy who won't talk to me and who will just up and leave his child just about homeless. Jewelz have you talked to your husband? Told him how you feel?

 

[the_b4rtender]

When he pisses you off........

You can always order an Adios Mother Fucker .5 oz Gin
0.5 oz Light Rum
1.0 Fill Sour mix
0.5 oz Triple sec
0.5 oz Vodka

Directions: Fill glass with ice. Pour in all white liquors. Fill glass with sour mix and top off with Blue Curacao. Squeeze a wedge of lemon, and stir.

 

[StondTmplPilot]

Re: Talk about rejection

I am not sure how to post this without sounding whinny or grandious....but here goes......

I am and always have been just an average looking guy.
You would not look twice at me if you passed me on the street.
I am told I have beautiful eyes.
I know I have voice that melts a heart <smile>
[use to be a DJ]

During high school I had few dates
I was rejected a lot

I have lived carrees that involve a lot of rejestion
[sales,advertsing,preaching etc.]

The last 5 + months I have lived a hell from rejsction
My wife and collored sub deserted me
I am just geting on my feet emotionally and still have deal with things that bring heavy emotional memories and sadness.

I am inteligent,more than a good lover,give great massages,a good provider etc.
[terrible speller and typist]

Yet all this rejection makes me feel like I am a piece of shit.
In the last few weeks I have asked a few women out,looked for someone in the lifestyle,even had a couple of dates <beg>.
However the rejection goes on.

We males,culturaly (sp), are "expected" to be the agressor.
The one to risk in the asking etc.

Well I am about ready to just become and emotional hermit.

Richard
Micihgan

Dude, don't give up...I know, I was there as recently as a few weeks ago...I couldn't get anyone to go out with me for months...It got to the point that I was going to give up too, but then a miracle happened, I met Lexy...and now I feel like a million bucks. I haven't been this happy in so very long, I never want to lose this feeling. It makes all the heartache seem minor in comparison to the joy I feel knowing that one dam fine woman wants me, loves me, yearns for me....So hang in there man, it'll get better!

 

[Jewelz]

I may be spending my nights alone, but I did a lot of thinking last night. I would much rather be alone than with a guy who won't talk to me and who will just up and leave his child just about homeless. Jewelz have you talked to your husband? Told him how you feel?

Yes hon, I have talked so much in our 14 years together that you would think I would have gotten somewhere! He is aging me! LOL.....I feel much older than my 29 years!

 

[Cavediver]

Jewelz baby!!!

Although it hurts don't take the rejection too hard. Sounds like hubby has some kind of inhibition that needs addressing. Find out what it is.

 

[Jewelz]

Jewelz baby!!!

Although it hurts don't take the rejection too hard. Sounds like hubby has some kind of inhibition that needs addressing. Find out what it is.

Hey Cavey baby!!!

as i read your post, i read it aloud to him....he says "yeah right"...*shrugs*.....who knows what is going on....i actually think maybe its all me... maybe i NEED too much?? but you would think he would figure it all out after all these years?

(i will answer your pm's soon love)

 

[NCguy]

Re: ouch!

I'm with you two. In fact, I've handled rejection by giving up. I don't initiate anymore. So now, it doesn't happen often.

It is frustrating, and it hurts. But, what's a woman to do? I try not to show my reactions, but that does cause bottling of feelings which aren't healthy either.

I ask again: what's a woman to do?

Been there, done that... from a man's standpoint.
The only marriage (which ended this week BTW) got so bad I quit trying to have sex with her.

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Re: ouch!

Been there, done that... from a man's standpoint.
The only marriage (which ended this week BTW) got so bad I quit trying to have sex with her.

Ugghh, so sorry that it got to that point!! so you are totally free again eh? Have some fun for me!

 

[Georgia Girl]

Jewelz honey,

like NCguy said....been there, done that. My divorce was final last Sept.

I can understand where you are coming from though, my ex could never match my sex drive, said that it made him "too tired". It hurts to hear the words, it hurts to go unsatisfied but sometimes to get the point across you have to stop the tears and state what you need. Not ask for it, not be polite about it, just state the facts. That is hard to do I know. You feel as if you are on a tightrope already so you sure don't want to rock it but its better than be unhappy and crying yourself to sleep.

I hope some of this helps and if you want to discuss it further, please I would love to try to help in any way possible

Dawn

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Talk about rejection

(((((((Richard)))))))) Whatever you do, dont bury your emotions. I was VERY worried about posting this cuz I thought I would get alot of bashing, people thinking I was some ungrateful bitch or something. Which couldnt be further from the truth. I didnt start this thread to bash my husband either. I love him, I am very much IN LOVE with him....but was hurting badly last night. Rejection from someone that you love that deeply is hard to deal with! I am extremely sensitive...a lover, not a fighter. And believe me when I tell you that I KNOW for a fact that half the people here would pass over me if there was a group of women to choose from. I am sure I would be among the last chosen. I dont feel Im ugly, but I am by no means gorgeous. I am a bigger woman and that is not welcomed either. Soooo I understand your feelings. You will find someone special Richard...but if you close off your emotions it will make it harder to do so. You seem like a great person...

Thank you for the hug and encouragment.

I just spent a couple hours with a friend. We talk a lot about self esteeem.

We also talked about how we choice people that are not available to us.

Could it be that we are not availble to ourselves?

Richard
Michigan

 

[Lady_Sam]

Re: Re: Re: Talk about rejection

Thank you for the hug and encouragment.

I just spent a couple hours with a friend. We talk a lot about self esteeem.

We also talked about how we choice people that are not available to us.

Could it be that we are not availble to ourselves?

Richard
Michigan

I think this is a good point. How can we expect those to be available to us, if we aren't available to ourselves?

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Talk about rejection

Dude, don't give up...I know, I was there as recently as a few weeks ago...I couldn't get anyone to go out with me for months...It got to the point that I was going to give up too, but then a miracle happened, I met Lexy...and now I feel like a million bucks. I haven't been this happy in so very long, I never want to lose this feeling. It makes all the heartache seem minor in comparison to the joy I feel knowing that one dam fine woman wants me, loves me, yearns for me....So hang in there man, it'll get better!

Thank you for the encouragment.

Congatulations to you and lexy.

Richard
Michigan

 

[rogtom_69]

I'm daydreaming as I read through the threads...........Can you imagine (somewhere in the future) computers have advanced to the stage where people can physically interact with each other even when they live a continent away?

Frustrated by rejection, you come to Lit and join with your friends.......You'd be a busy girl, Jewelz.....I know I'd line up!!!






---- Love is the one thing you cannot buy...
There are some interesting substitutes,
but the REAL thing must be freely given----

(Who said that? ...Dunno, I just made it up!)

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Jewelz honey,

like NCguy said....been there, done that. My divorce was final last Sept.

I can understand where you are coming from though, my ex could never match my sex drive, said that it made him "too tired". It hurts to hear the words, it hurts to go unsatisfied but sometimes to get the point across you have to stop the tears and state what you need. Not ask for it, not be polite about it, just state the facts. That is hard to do I know. You feel as if you are on a tightrope already so you sure don't want to rock it but its better than be unhappy and crying yourself to sleep.

I hope some of this helps and if you want to discuss it further, please I would love to try to help in any way possible

Dawn

Dawn, I appreciate your words and advice more than you know. Today, as we were talking about this thread..I asked him why *I* was missing something ...he said "dunno, figure it out cuz i dont think there is anything missing".....I said, "ok, here is what i know is missing and what i need is"....-FILL IN THE BLANK- at the numerous things i unveiled for him today....he keeps staring at the computer screen ....i said "ok? did you hear any of that?" and he said "yep".....got up and walked back in the living room.. ....i am at the point that i am just sick and tired of trying to convey things to him. I said "so, do you think you will try to appease me with ANY of this shit i just told you".....he just shook his head yes...then i shook my head out of frustration and gave him "the look"....he said "Now what"...i said "this is what i am sick and tired of...being the only one to communicate things in EVERY issue of our marriage".....his response...."Dont start on that shit today"....walks away......lucky me..

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Re: Re: Talk about rejection

Thank you for the hug and encouragment.

I just spent a couple hours with a friend. We talk a lot about self esteeem.

We also talked about how we choice people that are not available to us.

Could it be that we are not availble to ourselves?

Richard
Michigan

it is great advice hon....now, how on earth can i be available to myself?

 

[Jewelz]

I'm daydreaming as I read through the threads...........Can you imagine (somewhere in the future) computers have advanced to the stage where people can physically interact with each other even when they live a continent away?

Frustrated by rejection, you come to Lit and join with your friends.......You'd be a busy girl, Jewelz.....I know I'd line up!!!

Ohh that would be wicked cool!!!!! And do you REALLY think Jewelz would be THAT busy sweetheart? Aww, Im glad you would line up for me!! ahhh thats a great feeling!!

 

[Richard49]

Onesided communication

Dawn, I appreciate your words and advice more than you know. Today, as we were talking about this thread..I asked him why *I* was missing something ...he said "dunno, figure it out cuz i dont think there is anything missing".....I said, "ok, here is what i know is missing and what i need is"....-FILL IN THE BLANK- at the numerous things i unveiled for him today....he keeps staring at the computer screen ....i said "ok? did you hear any of that?" and he said "yep".....got up and walked back in the living room.. ....i am at the point that i am just sick and tired of trying to convey things to him. I said "so, do you think you will try to appease me with ANY of this shit i just told you".....he just shook his head yes...then i shook my head out of frustration and gave him "the look"....he said "Now what"...i said "this is what i am sick and tired of...being the only one to communicate things in EVERY issue of our marriage".....his response...."Dont start on that shit today"....walks away......lucky me..

The 13 years Cyndi [my ssn to be ex wife and former subbie] and I spent together sounded much like this. However I was blind and did not see it.

Richard
Michigan

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Talk about rejection

it is great advice hon....now, how on earth can i be available to myself?

Intelligually I know the answers to this....emotionally I am stupid.

Nathianal Brandin would suggest you ask your self "How would I answer this if my best freind asked?"

Richard
Michigan

 

[sortacurious]

Re: Re: Jewelz honey,

Dawn, I appreciate your words and advice more than you know. Today, as we were talking about this thread..I asked him why *I* was missing something ...he said "dunno, figure it out cuz i dont think there is anything missing".....I said, "ok, here is what i know is missing and what i need is"....-FILL IN THE BLANK- at the numerous things i unveiled for him today....he keeps staring at the computer screen ....i said "ok? did you hear any of that?" and he said "yep".....got up and walked back in the living room.. ....i am at the point that i am just sick and tired of trying to convey things to him. I said "so, do you think you will try to appease me with ANY of this shit i just told you".....he just shook his head yes...then i shook my head out of frustration and gave him "the look"....he said "Now what"...i said "this is what i am sick and tired of...being the only one to communicate things in EVERY issue of our marriage".....his response...."Dont start on that shit today"....walks away......lucky me..

I'm so sorry to hear this after you once again tried to initiate communication. I know that this is not to bash your man, but you should not be having to figure this out on your own. Marriage is a partnership. Now, if he was able to say "I realize you are not happy right now, and I know that we need to deal with this, but can it wait a little longer, I need some time for (whatever reasons)" that would be different. Maybe that is what he is saying (in a very vague, strange guy-talk way) . Only he knows and can tell you.

I thought today would be better too, it wasn't. Terrible day crying my eyes out in private. uuuggghhh. But, I haven't given up hope for you two: from some of his other answers tonight may not be a total wash out. My dad always said don't go to bed angry, but angry sex can be very passionate.

----------------------------
Richard

You sound like a wonderful lover and person. (not in that order)
To feel abandonment is like a level higher on the rejection ladder. I'm glad to know that you are talking to friends, here and in r/l about your feelings and the why's of life.

You also sound intelligent and sensitive. In my eyes you are wonderful and once you're able to lick your wounds a little more and give your injuries time to mend, I think you will find more than one woman dying to kneel and beg for you I know I would!


----
I can't believe all the responses since last night!! I wish I could respond to all of them. I anxious to get to know people, but my mind is muddled tonight! So, sorry to the rest of you wonderful people.

Take care of yourselves tonight, and if you do get lucky Please share with us frustrated, rejected ones.