How to compliment a woman

[TarnishedPenny]

I'll say this: Every single woman I know complains about getting hit on in public by sleazy guys. Which guys are the sleazy guys? I don't know; I'm not there.

But NO woman I know EVER complains about going out in public and never getting hit on. Never once have I heard any woman say, "I wish more strange men would comment on my appearance." Not saying there's no woman out there with that attitude. Just saying that I couldn't introduce you to any of them. Whereas I know at least a hundred women who wish more guys would keep it to themselves. Food for thought.

More food for thought.

Picture a normal, heterosexual woman who has gone to considerable care to make herself look attractive. She's spent a fair bit of time and no doubt a fair bit of money on hair, makeup, clothing, shoes and such.

Now put this woman out on the street and have nobody - absolutely nobody - notice. (Let's take other women out of the equation, for that's a different dynamic.) But not one man of any age so much as glances at her. Ever.

I don't know any normal woman (and 'normal' is still a valid word in my world) who wouldn't eventually become, oh, call it 'discouraged'.

Balance - balance is everything.

 

[AndrewMorse1987]

I worked at a local grocery store chain from the time I was 15 til I graduated college, the store I worked at was in a very affluent part of town so everyday I would see a plethora of very attractive women, now me being the typical southern "Beauregard" alpha male In would naturally have to comment, but I did find out through much trial and error that most women would prefer you to walk up and quietly say " Ma'am I couldn't help but notice how absolutely ravishing you look and I wanted to let you know that your husband must be the luckiest man on earth just to wake up with a picture of you on his bedside table. " Now you may not be into laying on the "Southern" charm like I did but I can honestly say it has gotten me more phone numbers from married and unmarried women then you could possibly imagine, but mostly i'm trying to say is just approach them openly and you won't come off as pervy it'll seem more like a genuine compliment.

 

[KimGordon67]

More food for thought.

Picture a normal, heterosexual woman who has gone to considerable care to make herself look attractive. She's spent a fair bit of time and no doubt a fair bit of money on hair, makeup, clothing, shoes and such.

Now put this woman out on the street and have nobody - absolutely nobody - notice. (Let's take other women out of the equation, for that's a different dynamic.) But not one man of any age so much as glances at her. Ever.

I don't know any normal woman (and 'normal' is still a valid word in my world) who wouldn't eventually become, oh, call it 'discouraged'.

Balance - balance is everything.

Nope, if by 'not one man' we're referring to complete strangers, and if by 'notice', we mean 'feels the need to comment on my appearance or in some other way signal what they think of my appearance', I'm OK with that not happening.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

KG, nothing personal, I assure you. I am however dismayed at our society apparently reaching such a state that a mere passing glance or compliment can be taken as something threatening. Note that I'm not talking about drooling, staring or crude&lewd remarks - just noticing or a 'lovely coat!' remark in passing. So very, very sad.

 

[Scareltt]

The older I get..

The older I get, the more able I am to hear a complement, and accept it for what it is..

Last week I was rushing through the mall to get to a movie. From behind me I hear, “Excuse me Miss.” (first no one ever calls me Miss, I liked it right off the bat) I stop and turn around.

“Miss you dropped something.”

It was this handsome young man working at a sunglasse kiosk. I smiled and give him a puzzled look. All I had was my purse. I take a few steps toward him.

With a smile he says, “Miss you dropped my heat right over here.”

I smiled and waived, and hurried off to my movie.

As I sat down I told my friend Allison about it. She was like, “my gosh want an asshole.”

I was like, “No that’s the best compliment I have gotten all week.”

She was so offended for me..

While I was watching the movie I thought about walking out there and giving him my email address...

He was gone when the movie was over.. maybe while my husband is watching football, I’ll go back to the mall..

 

[Scareltt]

Cute enough..

"You dropped my heat..."?? What does that even mean? Not only is he rude but he's stupid. You don't want someone like that having your email address.

Well I though it was cute of Jack. So cute in fact I Now Now have a two new pair of sunglasses, they were buy one get one free. I might give the other pair to my husband.

Jack who is 25 has already used my email address. He is very sweet.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Well I though it was cute of Jack. So cute in fact I Now Now have a two new pair of sunglasses, they were buy one get one free. I might give the other pair to my husband.

Jack who is 25 has already used my email address. He is very sweet.

Nothing wrong with an imaginative line. It obviously worked. Good for Jack, good for you, and good for the guy who makes sunglasses. Sounds like a win all round .

 

[NightL]

hmmm

 

[NightL]

I stand by all I wrote and the supporting of values satindesire promoted, along with her delivery.

This thread did signify the end an era. Over two years of How To... fun and games came to a screeching halt after that - felt like the life had been sucked out - my interpretation of it all.

 

[Trigger_Warning]

Fun read. Once again feeling the need to apologize on behalf of men.

 

[JaneRamsey]

*begin rant*

Bitter and angry women need to stop speaking for ALL WOMEN.

For starters most guys are just trying to work up enough courage to say hi to a girl. They have no concept what it's like to be solicited for sex and attention every time they leave the house. Women are spoiled with attention to the point that it's obnoxious and and an irritant, guys quite frankly have no idea what that's like, so let's not jump down everyone's throat everytime they're legitimately wondering how to compliment one of us.

Secondly I for one enjoy the fact that as a woman all I basically have to do is shower and show up and guys will want to pay attention to my gender. I feel bad that guys have to work so hard and barely get a tenth the attention and recognition women get for simply existing.

Now to the original question....keep in mind that 99% guys approach women to solicit their attention, physical or emotion, so if you're not trying to do that, you need to make that abundantly clear, or the woman will automatically assume it's what you're doing.

1. Compliment only age appropriate people (5-10 year difference at MOST). If you compliment younger than that....you'll be creepy.

2. Say your compliment and gtfo. Anyone will feel obligated to talk to you if you stick around because as previously stated 99% of guys will be approaching a woman to come on to her.

3. Don't compliment anyone's looks in public areas like street corners and parks. I don't know why it's so different than the grocery store or something, but even I find that creepy. I dunno.

Back to my rant...i don't even get 'objectification'. Seriously, we coexist with each other as physical entities that exist in a 3D physical space. Everything about our interactions with each other is colored by our looks and appearance. Why is being focused on that, especial when you don't know the person, and know nothing else about them..? (That goes for men and women)

*end rant*