How young were you when you went D/s?

[myinnerslut]

I don't know about that but I have seen a number of comments over the years that most munches have older members and that newbies/youngsters can feel outranked, like the fresh meat on display or that they have nothing in common with other members who are at different stages in their lives. I suppose any kind of exclusivity has its pros and cons.

i am usually the youngest, or at least one of at the group we are associated with. i got a lot of looks from the guys, but sticking close to Master helps a lot.

i also get judged for my age (thinking i am less into the lifestyle or just fucking about with it), and it used to bother me far more, but Master pointed out that most of the judgments only last until they see me bottom. once they see the interaction between Master and i, the things we do, the level we will take things to, the amount i will do for him, etc, there are far fewer questions. sort of like i have "proved myself". sigh. it is what it is.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yeah, when God said, "Let there be Light." He first said "Hey, MWY, get out of the God-damned way!"

Actually, he said, "Hey, would you pass those candles over here." I know, ya hadda be there.

 

[PaperAutumn]

I was 21, my Miss was 31. I don't regret a minute of it, although our relationship changed significantly. Though she was still my Miss, we were engaged for a time. Though that has ended, and we now remain very good friends, I would continue to serve her if she asked.

 

[00Syd]

i am usually the youngest, or at least one of at the group we are associated with. i got a lot of looks from the guys, but sticking close to Master helps a lot.

i also get judged for my age (thinking i am less into the lifestyle or just fucking about with it), and it used to bother me far more, but Master pointed out that most of the judgments only last until they see me bottom. once they see the interaction between Master and i, the things we do, the level we will take things to, the amount i will do for him, etc, there are far fewer questions. sort of like i have "proved myself". sigh. it is what it is.

This is a major beef of mine. The ageism in the BDSM community can be astounding.

Thankfully, in NYC, there is a large community of younger (20s-30s), and younger-minded people in the scene. Also, a lot of people who are older, are sort of fascinated when they see younger people playing. Especially in this one club, where it's mostly an older crowd, young people get a lot of looks. Last Saturday I went there with Seb and just as he was getting ready to suspend me, these two older queens came over and said something like "I'm so curious to see how young people play... do you mind if we watch your scene?" and we were just like.. "uh, sure" and so they sat and watched and y'know, it was cool. Maybe they learned something? That would be neat.

I dunno, there is a lot of ageism, and I have encountered it, but I've encountered far more people who are accepting and welcoming to the younger crowd. It's nice

 

[FurryFury]

My only worry with young people in the scene is that they be of an age that they can legally engage in sex generally speaking. I went to a demo and play party once. There were some really young people there or at least really young looking people. I didn't i.d. them but I was hoping the leaders of the community knew for sure that they were old enough to be there.

 

[00Syd]

My only worry with young people in the scene is that they be of an age that they can legally engage in sex generally speaking. I went to a demo and play party once. There were some really young people there or at least really young looking people. I didn't i.d. them but I was hoping the leaders of the community knew for sure that they were old enough to be there.

I've never attended any parties or gatherings with anyone under 18 in attendance, and never been anywhere that doesn't check. Except for informal munch's, and I doubt anyone would ID there anyway since its just people informally hanging out in a mall or diner or cafe or something.

Although last weekend there were these two really young looking girls who were 18, and talking about high school stuff, and that was maybe the first thing ever that's made me feel old.

 

[Homburg]

Same age, same approach. You're a lot like me, only a lot older and grayer. *points and laughs.*

Grrr, impertinent whelp!

*shakes his cane at ZRT*

Wait, no, context. Er, damn. Takes the wind outta that quip...

 

[Homburg]

i am usually the youngest, or at least one of at the group we are associated with. i got a lot of looks from the guys, but sticking close to Master helps a lot.

Fit, cute, and naked/nearly naked = looks from the guys. Hell, a lot of the women are looking too.

Age is not as much of a factor as fit/cute/nekkid.

i also get judged for my age (thinking i am less into the lifestyle or just fucking about with it), and it used to bother me far more, but Master pointed out that most of the judgments only last until they see me bottom. once they see the interaction between Master and i, the things we do, the level we will take things to, the amount i will do for him, etc, there are far fewer questions. sort of like i have "proved myself". sigh. it is what it is.

A number of people have realised that you should not be judged by your youth from conversation as well.

 

[bethpage]

Interested since early teens, could have become involved when I was 18 but didn't take the offer, now I'm 29.

I've been collecting information since I was about 13. I took the 500 or 1000 question BDSM purity test when I was 23 and was really disappointed that it didn't have any concepts that I hadn't heard or read about already.

Most of the people I know who participate are in their 30s. I've been told there is a fairly active TNG (the next generation) group in Orlando which is the under 35 group. Some of my friends are even active in it.

 

[sexycaz22]

I am not in any D/s relationship at the moment....but just wanted to chime in as well

I always had fantasies since a young age, but only become 'active' in the bdsm lifestyle about a couple of years ago - 26 (soon to be 27) at the time. A good two years of learning and exploring what aspects of bdsm I liked, etc. It is all good

 

[Cattypuss]

Have known the kink was there since I was probably late teens but only started doing anthing about it last year at age 41.

I have no regrets. What matters is NOW, not the past.

 

[Myskaninen]

I was 21-22 when I discovered D/s

 

[FurryFury]

Although I've had kinky thoughts since I was in 5th grade, perhaps earlier, I only discovered D/s at 42.

 

[nh23]

I've known I was a masochist since I was a child. I got into bondage etc..around 15. My first D/s relationship wasn't until my 20's. My first M/s 24/7 TPE relationship not until the last year or so.

 

[curious_little_girl]

*cough* 45 *cough*

When you have a very sheltered upbringing, marry early (19) and get stuck there for another 23 years, you have no opportunity to experiment.... There was no internet back then either. I always had the fantasy of being tied up etc, but again had nothing to compare it to and I thought I was strange, until I met Sir online in 2003 and found out just what a Dom was and how I could at last get my fantasies fulfilled.

Over 5 years later, we are 24/7 D/s and very happy

I hear you! I'm *cough* 44... and just letting the sub in me out....but she's been there all these years, but societal pressure and the "strong woman" age made me feel it was wrong, or that something must be wrong with me.
If you know NOW what you like, go for it!! You are what you are, so the earlier you come to terms with it....

 

[ohwhynot]

I would say I was 25 or so? I guess I always knew I had a Dom nature, but didn't know a community existed for it until I was a little older.

 

[Harmony_1985]

I had an interest from the age of about 19 but I finally got involved last November aged 23.

 

[SimonBrooke]

Ever since i was old enough to get sexually aroused, my fantasies always would revert to having women tied up and and hurting them for my own amusement. Though I was very weird for having these thoughts.

Ditto. The earliest sexual fantasies I can remember are of hunting girls down in the woods, tying them up, stripping them naked, and then knowing there was something very important one did next but not having any idea what it was. I would have been about eight or ten; any older than that and I'd have known at least the mechanics of sex, and in these fantasies I clearly didn't know them.

In adult life I've had some degree of dominance in sexual play in all my sexual relationships and used bondage to a greater or lesser extent in all of them but didn't have a relationship I'd really classify as dominant/submissive until my thirties.

 

[BoundOphelia]

The more I think about it the younger it seems to be, I don't think I ever properly thought about it before! I used to "play" with the whole tying up thing and strangely used to choke myself before I knew what sex was and also had lots of kinky thoughts after, but I think the first time I had the opportunity to try it properly was when me and my ex b/f bought some leather cuffs when I was 19.

 

[gigi333]

I thin kthe idea was there as long as I can remember. But I have only thought of myself as a Sub the last couple of months

 

[SlaveNienna]

Hi everyone, I'm fairly new around here. I'm in a very committed D/s relationship, and have been for about a year now.

The only thing is, I'm 18. Master is not much older at 19.

Did anyone else around know this early that this is what they wanted? Or are we just strange.

Hello. I'm new around here too. I've been reading a lot but haven't had much to say. I'm 22 and I've just recently discovered what people call the BDSM community. My husband is 23 and we both love experimenting with the new ideas. We've been together for over 4 years and have always had some kink in our relationship like bondage and humiliation but I never realised there was a community for it. Before I met my husband I've always been more into girls, never really dated in high school. But my girlfriends and I would play the slave game. I'd always be the slave and I loved being "tortured" if you know what I mean. My earliest memory I was in about 2nd grade and my best friend would tie me up in her room and tickle torture me. I knew it was fun at the time but we were so young I don't think either of us realised it was sexual but now looking back on it it all makes sense to me now. I've had a fairly normal life and loving family with nothing to "cause" this "odd" behavior at a young age. I always thought something was wrong with me until recently but I just couldn't keep myself away from it. I believe that subs are born, not made. The earlier you discover who you are, the better.

 

[Raisin7734]

I remember playing in the woods with the neighborhood kids when I was in kindergarten. I remember asking them to tie me up and whip me with a switch. Me and the girl next door used to close ourselves up in the shed around that same time and do things. The boys used to like to "play" too. But I have always-as long as my memory extends-wanted to be some one's slave. Sadly, at 40, I've only had those childhood experiences.

 

[Corylea]

Ever since I can remember

I remember masturbating to mental images of people hurting one another when I was seven. Since I don't remember much of my life from before then, I can't say how much earlier it might have started, so I guess "ever since I can remember" is my answer. At seven, it never occurred to me to put myself into the fantasy; I "knew" that these other people were doing these things in the same way that one knows what the people in a novel are doing. Perhaps that's why I'm a switch now.

When I was in my teens, I used to try to hurt myself while I masturbated by turning a heating pad on high, taking the cover off, and sitting on it. I was never able to make myself sit on it all that long though -- I need to have a top who enjoys pain in order to add that extra bit of motivation to go through with it. *smile*

When I was in my mid-20's, a friend told me that she thought she might be into spanking, and I said that I thought I might be, too. We traded spankings, but each of us was so worried about actually hurting the other person that they were pats more than spanks. So it wasn't very satisfying in a BDSM sense, but at least I found out that I wasn't the only one.

I didn't get into the organized scene until I was in my early 30's, but then, I was kind of a late bloomer in general.

 

[Raisin7734]

In thinking about this, I can also recall sitting in my grandmother's living room watching some old black and white movie-something that I guess was about Romans? Anyway, there was a guy tied to two poles, spread eagle, and he was being flogged. I must have been about five or six, and I got turned on. There were people standing around watching this guy in the movie getting whipped and I started feeling things that I have never felt before! Watching it, it was impossible to sit still.

My early fantasies were of being used as a doormat-objectified. I also had fantasies of being tied to a wheel-like a water wheel that rotated through stages of torture-a whip, a fire, and water. I have always been a sicko.

As an adult, I conned a bf into going to see Exit to Eden. The scene where the guy misbehaves so his baby sitter/nanny will spank him....I feel so terrible that I never thought of doing that! If only I'd been a bit smarter as a kid!

 

[groove_kid]

I didn't start getting into the D/s lifestyle until I was like thirty.
When I first started having sex with men. I got bored of being a
sub guy with a submissive woman. Needed a change.