How young were you when you went D/s?

[ownedsubgal]

i first discovered D/s, and that there was a name for the weird way that i was (submissive) and a whole community to boot, when i was 18. however i didn't really learn about BDSM until after i was already a slave at 19, so my intro went kind of backwards compared to most.

 

[DiscusDave]

I'm a youngen.

I started looking into BDSM heavily starting soon after my 18th birthday and have really kept my interest until now. I'm currently 20.... with 21 creeping over the horizon. However I really didn't start doing anything about my interests until as of late.

 

[subish2009]

My earliest fantasies were always of being tied up. Not sure how old I was...10, maybe? Young enough that I didn't recognize them as sexual fantasies...just that I wanted to be tied up by multiple men (not boys) and tickled.

As my sexual experience progressed in high school I learned that I REALLY liked being held down, and that I wanted to be used by more than one guy at a time. I was very self-conscious about it and thought I was a freak.

Hubby and I both discovered the lifestyle together in college via the Internet. We jumped in with both feet and decided that was a bit much for us. We gradually got less and less hard-core until we settled at a pretty mild D/s level that is perfect for us. I'd say we were around 22 or 23 when we hit our stride.

31 now and have never been more comfortable with my sexuality and personal brand of kink.

 

[FurryFury]

I think the Internet is helping people find BDSM faster and accept it.

 

[subish2009]

I think the Internet is helping people find BDSM faster and accept it.

Yeah, I agree. I think of places like this as almost a support group. Just people you know that will always "get it." Or at least smile and offer a "to each his own."

 

[CurlyKat]

I honestly don't know how old I was, or really how young I was. I've always just known I was more submissive, or needed to be lead, when it came to anything sexual. Coming from a pretty sheltered childhood, I thought it was more just letting the man "pursue" me than submitting. In college I started to do more research and found out what being a submissive really meant. That lead to discovering that all of the other things I was into, such as being tied up or spanked or other mild forms of masochism weren't so much weird or freakish things, and that they actually had names. I'd say I was about 21 when I really knew what I was.

Still working on learning and expanding my horizons, of course.

 

[shy slave]

Read The Story of O when I was 18-19 and newly married. reading it made me gush without actually tounching myself (he only time that has happened).

Then I discovered by thinking about the book and touching myself I could gush until towels were soaked through.

My husband was disgusted and told me I was abnormal, as I had no idea about sex, I did not know if he was right or wrong about it, and there was no way I was asking my sisters or mother

I threw the book away and got on with other things in life.

Fast forward to 2003/2004 when I was 36.

A vanilla boyfriend figured out I may be submissive, although he since said he has no idea what made him think it, he went online and discovered various articles and websites including Lit.

I read alot, thought about things lurked and then decided he was right.

 

[shy slave]

I think the Internet is helping people find BDSM faster and accept it.

I agree with you FF

I wish I had had access to all this information.

The net is often blamed for leading people astray, yet the wealth of knowledge and information avalable, if you have common sense to reflect on it, is stunning.

I will try not to think about how Goverments around the world are watching and listening to every element of online activity.

 

[bakedbeams]

My earliest sexual fantasies (from age10) have always involved power figures and humiliation, and to this day continue.

I have only been collared in one relationship which lasted 5 years, we met when I was 16, collared by 17, 24/7 M/s by 18. Had D/s relationships but never anything long term after we split.

My marriage, was my attempt at a vanilla lifestyle/sex life ... didnt work, I never felt fulfilled/safe/secure. Happily divorced now .. ha ha

After that had a lot of short term vanilla 'relationships'. Have finally met Sir I am now incredibly happy at 45, again in a D/s relationship. Sad but true its taken 25years to finally meet a man who just understands me, accepts me and appreciates the sub I am.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

First D/s relationship when I was 17. Turned out he was a monster.


Got back into it almost a year ago now. Have always had sub tendancies with guys anyway but now have a Dom again. I'm 44.

 

[tkvh4u2]

My earliest sexual fantasies (from age10) have always involved power figures and humiliation, and to this day continue.

I have only been collared in one relationship which lasted 5 years, we met when I was 16, collared by 17, 24/7 M/s by 18. Had D/s relationships but never anything long term after we split.

My marriage, was my attempt at a vanilla lifestyle/sex life ... didnt work, I never felt fulfilled/safe/secure. Happily divorced now .. ha ha

After that had a lot of short term vanilla 'relationships'. Have finally met Sir I am now incredibly happy at 45, again in a D/s relationship. Sad but true its taken 25years to finally meet a man who just understands me, accepts me and appreciates the sub I am.

Your realization trajectory is similar to mine, I ran to a marriage with someone who if I had bothered to share my fantasies with, would have been shocked, to say the least. I am happily divorced and reunited with the first person with whomI ever had a D/s relationship. At 40 almost 41 have really for the first time in my life become comfortable with my own sexuality (I know that sounds corny as all get out!)

 

[twiggy_the_spider]

I have had fantasies surrounding power, humiliation and pain for as long as I can remember. When I had my first girlfriend at 16 we played with pain a lot. I've only tried to have a vanilla relationship the once, it was a total fail. I've switched about a lot, whether Im D or s depends on who im with and what they bring out in me really. Im currently in a very happy relationship with a guy and enjoying further exploring my kink. To be honest I never felt different or odd. For a long time I assumed everyone liked this stuff.

 

[sahara2253]

It has always been a part of me. I started to recognize it for what it was when I was 25, first real D/s relationship when I was 26. I'm 27 now.

 

[maybenicegirl]

I began fantasizing about D/s at a very early age - 3 or 4, began playing around with D/s in my first real relationship at age 14, began actively seeking out a defined D/s relationship since I was 29, and have been in a defined D/s relationship since I was 32.

 

[Sayyid]

Always been into fantasies involving bondage, shackling and stuff. Discovered the joys of spanking a naughty girl over time. I suppose my goth friend had a lot to do with it. She was into some kinky stuff and we discussed sex a lot when I was younger. It really opened my eyes.

 

[praefect]

The very first time I had sex my girlfriend at the time was a virgin as well. We started trying to have sex at around 2 in the morning. And for the next few hours it went like this. I started penetrating her, slowly, carefully, eventually she would yelp and draw back, pushing me away, telling me how much it hurt. Rinse and repeat until night became day.

I've known her for half a year, I really liked her, but at that point I just fucking had it, wrapped my arm around her, tugged her head into my shoulder, held on tight and just went for it without mercy.

The whole thing lasted about 30 seconds (if you don't count the 5 hours leading up to it) and I still have the scar on my shoulder where she dug her teeth in. It was such a horrible mess, so pathetically unsatisfying, to me at least, that in my mind all it boiled down to was a victory against virginity by a few points, like in a boxing match - BUT - in retrospect that dominating part of me was alive and well even back then, the core of it. It just needed to be coaxed a little bit by a few hours of frustration. I was 15 back then.

Probably before that even it was alive and well.

All my life I've held, pinned, ordered, took control and even when it was soft, slow and sensual, loving and caring, I possessed. I've been told stuff about my style of lovemaking in my teens and later, but I never really paid any attention to it. In my mind I was sure they, girls - then later women, told all the guys exactly the same thing, just what they thought they wanted to hear.

It wasn't really until my early 20s, 5 or 6 years ago, that I discovered BDSM. I've known it existed before, had some vague ideas about it, but up until then no connect to it. Sandwiched into two painplay scenes that I watched more or less out of curiosity in the same way I would watch a natural disaster there was a scene that reminded me of myself. The way he loomed above her, took her, gagged her with his hand, possessed her and let her feel possessed and held - and to me it seemed - safe. That sparked the first connect and my entry into the world of BDSM. The first time that the thought occurred to me that it was about more than just leather bound freaks I'd never be able to relate to.

The more I learned the more I discovered aspects of myself that I didn't know about, or partly even aspects I had to dig back up, having buried them before I ever became sexually active.

I suppose I was lucky to have the right partner at the time who joined me in my voyage of self discovery over the next few years.

 

[slavetonanette]

I was about 19 in college and just discovering the internet when I started becoming interested. I had a kinky pyscho girlfriend at the time who claimed she liked to dominant. She was more of a switch. She was into pain, and had me spank her as hard as I could for a long time one night, while begging the whole time for more. She also liked her nipples pinched really hard. She had told kinky stories of stuff she'd done with other guys, like fingering them while giving them blow jobs then snowballing them afterwards whether they liked it or not. She handcuffed my hands behind me and gave me a blowjob on my birthday. She wanted to finger me at the same time, but I was too inexperienced, unsure, and scared and told her "no". My wife and I are experimenting with all sorts of stuff now.

 

[serendipitous2]

- - -

 

[Sparrow2z]

I was...what, 18?, when i first discovered my leanings towards the subject. I was fortunate enough to have met an older mistress who was willing to take a young guy and help shape the man I became. There is something...unique about finding someone who is willing to teach, to answer questions, to guide and to lead if needs be when inexperiance fails despite desires. Since then, i've been fortunate to meet others who have been open to playing, but never anyone of the same willingness as the first mistress. im 25 now, and doubt i'll ever find anyone quite as able as her.

Though in closing, i came to the realisation that BDSM and all that was nothing without the trust and mental control. without that, its just two people and a bunch of toys.

Matt

 

[gloriann]

I didn't start toying/experimenting with the idea until I was 27 (I'm 41 now.)

 

[jenniferbaby]

I was 23 and my discovery took place only a few months ago. I came to Lit looking for cybersex--which I found, unsurprisingly. A few of the men I wound up talking to had dominant tendencies and I quickly found out that I enjoyed those experiences a lot. One man in particular was very dominant and told me about his offline experiences, and he was instrumental in helping me discover how submissive I am. Before this, I never knew much about D/s and I never knew I would be into it. Now I know it's part of me and I've been seeking to explore it more.

 

[HoHoBomb]

I was playschool age, I recall telling Kenny he was a wimp for not hanging upside down on the monkey bars.

 

[owned_whore]

My initiation was when I was underage and it was not my choice. It stuck with me however and when I started experimenting for myself I found ordinary sex empty and unstimulating. This caused me tremendous guilt until I met my Master 3 years ago and he showed me that violence and violent sex could be a part of a loving, consensual relationship. I've never looked back. Mostly because I can't bear to.

 

[SweetDomme_29]

Hi everyone, I'm fairly new around here. I'm in a very committed D/s relationship, and have been for about a year now.

The only thing is, I'm 18. Master is not much older at 19.

Did anyone else around know this early that this is what they wanted? Or are we just strange.

AWWW Strange? No sweetie, not at all

I can't remember the last time I didn't have the urge to dominate.

What IS strange (and admirable) is the fact that you've been brave enough to act upon your urges at such a young age.

So what I am trying to say is that its never too early or too late to dive into a fulfilling sex life

Enjoy!!!!

 

[Raccoon251]

I've been researching D/s for about four years now? I believe I've read just about every website that pops up when ya google any terms related to D/s. I've been in two relationships thus far that were supposed to be D/s, but they were both first timers.

As far as I'm concerned, I still haven't entered into the lifestyle. It is most certainly high on my list of things to pursue!

I'm in my mid-tweneties.

*keeps reading the forums*