Humble questions...

[A Desert Rose]

Well, you may believe he's serious & looking for a mentor, I think he's just looking for an audience.

Will the girlfriend be allowed to come here - I think not. His right hand's too busy & his left hand can't type.

I guess you just have to have some experience on these boards to sniff out ones like this. And when you call them out, you are the one who gets blasted.

Well, dolly, I'm with you.

 

[lne_iii]

Well everyone...

I came to this place asking for advice and opinions. I've gotten both...for that I'm thankful.

However, I'm very very green at all of this. Obviously. I may have approached things incorrectly or too fast, or any such thing. Are you perfect? Should I be? What's done is done...and what needs to be done, according to most of you all...is to find her a place either here, or someplace like here. I think it could be healthier either way. Considering her shyness though, she may not want me to see everything that she is discussing with others, the same as I don't want her to see everything we are discussing here. I've told her that I've been seeking advice, but I've kept our private life private, which for the most part I have. I don't think I'll be posting play-by-play's for a while, and definitely not without her consent.

Which I am in the process of talking to her about. She's very introverted and shy, and more so green about all of this. She hasn't even read/seen what I've read/seen...so all of this is a whole new world to her. She tells me that she loves it though...and that's what matters to me.

The whole thing about SSC (I think I'm using the right term there) ...is that everyone involved agrees and is happy with the situation. The only ones ever going to be involved really, are my girl and myself. I come to you all in hopes of gaining wisdom...as there's lots to be had here. However, really it boils down to she and I.

Again, I thank you all for your help. Those of you who still wish to give me advice, pointers, ideas and the like...I am more so in your debt.

Those of you that choose to scorn me, I fully accept that I asked for opinions...negative or positive. Once you've given them and explained yourself though...who's getting anything good by your repetitive statement of that? Are you? Should I? Like I said, no one's perfect...and I can't take back what's been done.

I really hate that some of you consider me to be a bully. I wish there was some way I could show you that I'm not. I don't think I'll be able to satisfy that to your liking though.

Anywho, those are my thoughts on the matter this morning. I hope I don't lose what help I've been offered due to the statements in this post.

LNE

 

[Marquis]

I for one think its totally reasonable to want your own space where you can discuss these kinds of issues without having to worry about the mate you're probably going to be talking about reading every line.

 

[h_i_s]

........Considering her shyness though, she may not want me to see everything that she is discussing with others, the same as I don't want her to see everything we are discussing here.........

i'd bet she wouldn't, and i can understand why you wouldn't ... too.

Sometimes when a couple share the same forum, they'll feel the need to stifle themselves in how they may choose to express themselves, their feelings, concerns, and/or opinions .... yep.

There are plenty of other BDSM forums where she can learn through conversing with others.

collarme.com has live chats. While i wouldn't recommend hanging out in the Lobby Chat (too many wankers and wannabes and trolls) ... they do have a great room called 'D/s Discussions'. The room is very strictly moderated (no flaming, no arguing ... respect for all and their views and kinks is a must). A topic of discussion is chosen and discussed by all. It's a great source for learning some of the basics.

 

[Joe Schmoe]

Would new people to the scene even know about mentoring? Shouldn't it be the more experienced people offering to mentor new people, or at least suggesting it?

There are many websites, which I 'think', is where many head to after finding out about the lifestyle, that does have articles about mentoring.

So they should, or they have not put much effort in understanding what they are getting into.

I had to ask, after I made my choice of who I wanted to assist me.

I have never heard of someone offering to mentor, only accepting or refusing, but that does not mean it probably hasn't happened.

 

[Joe Schmoe]

I have come across men on the internet who refuse to meet face to face at a munch (even one outside of their area) because they are afraid that someone from the non-BDSM side of their life will see them and judge them in a negative light.

Women too.

There are numbers of those that feel their privacy will be respected by those in the groups so they have come out and joined the community, regardless of their place in society.

6 to one half a dozen to another.

 

[alice_underneath]

I like Alices' replies.

Honest and open and they make sense.

Thanks, shy slave. I appreciate that very much.

Alice

 

[alice_underneath]

Oh, btw...everything went great for those that are wondering

LNE

I am very glad to hear it!

Take care,
Alice