Humiliation. is truly dependent on the people involved, as several have said it is important only to those involved in the sex. Note: I call it sex, not BDSM, or control or whatever. It is a sensual, sexual experance and humiliation may indead be part of it. Some words may be touchy between the Master and sub, and need to be avoided. While others are used to highten the control. At no time should the limits be exceded, and if some things are out of bounds, then respect that. Becasue she is bound to a table and sucking me off does not mean I don't respect her. Laughing, I respect her very much, and want more.
Humiliation.
- Thread starter Freya
- Start date
MissTaken
Biker Chick
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2001
- Posts
- 20,570
Humiliation should never be rendered in spite or with negative feelings. Humiliation should only be used between two people who are confident in themselves and their relationship and only , ONLY, because it turns them both on.
Just my two cents
Just my two cents
Bondagebunni
Petable
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2002
- Posts
- 2,933
Ol_Ozark said:
you have officially mad it into my sig line!!!!
Ebonyfire
Ball Stretcher
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2002
- Posts
- 11,729
Ol_Ozark said:
I think it is used more often in a BDSM sexual context when in Male Dom/female sub relationships.
I find that humiliation for its own sake is more prevalent in Femdom/malesub relationships.
I do not find my relationships with my males subs particularly sexual or sexy, erotic perhaps, but quite frankly I find my vanilla lover much more sexy.
<edited for redundancy>
Eb
Last edited:
Bondagebunni
Petable
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2002
- Posts
- 2,933
Ebonyfire said:
does that mean there are two of you now?
Bondagebunni
Petable
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2002
- Posts
- 2,933
Ebonyfire said:
it'd be funnier if you'd cloned yourself.
asyouwish2
Virgin
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2002
- Posts
- 22
asyouwish2
Last edited:
Pure
Fiel a Verdad
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2001
- Posts
- 15,135
Some comments:
Asyouwish2:
EB,
Nice post. From the stories i've read, i'd have to agree that humilatin is more common in F/m than M/f or even F/f. i know that male subs may accept that better than F subs, and some male subs want that. However, i sometimes wonder if Female Dom like humiating male subs. Is there something about a woman taking charge over a man that makes her want to humiliate a man.
I think that's generally wishful thinking on the male sub's part. Dommes irl and in interviews often say more or less what Eb does; it not sexy for them. Some say it's just a job.
Again, i do not ahve r/t experience; i'm just basing this on Lit stories which is hardly scientific.
Not just that, but a story is not really even an attempt to 'inform'
(regardless of the literary convention "Here's what happened to me"). Esp. in porn, it's to titillate, usually the male reader.
F/f domination and M/f domination seems more erotic. It's more sexual; the Dom/Domme is almost always satisfied and the f sub usually is pleasured as well. This is not the case with a F/m scenario. Infact, quite a bit of it is emascualting to the male, (Strap ons, cross dressing cuckolding to name a few)
It doesn't sound like you've got much male 'sub' in you. The male enjoys, and if an erotic cuckold, is _aroused_ by the events. Afterward, he's satisfied: we know that since he comes back!
As more than one bdsm person has observed, a sub's duties aren't that different from a traditional wife's. Hence the M/f scenario more can be routine. The F/m situation, because against norms, arguably has more erotic 'charge' and potential.
The figurative 'emasculation' is eagerly sought; for instance, the wearing of panties might well be found incredibly erotic.
Indeed, perusing the web, you'll find total service oriented far-out male subs who've chosen some degree of emasculation or 'alteration' in physical terms.
Asyouwish2:
EB,
Nice post. From the stories i've read, i'd have to agree that humilatin is more common in F/m than M/f or even F/f. i know that male subs may accept that better than F subs, and some male subs want that. However, i sometimes wonder if Female Dom like humiating male subs. Is there something about a woman taking charge over a man that makes her want to humiliate a man.
I think that's generally wishful thinking on the male sub's part. Dommes irl and in interviews often say more or less what Eb does; it not sexy for them. Some say it's just a job.
Again, i do not ahve r/t experience; i'm just basing this on Lit stories which is hardly scientific.
Not just that, but a story is not really even an attempt to 'inform'
(regardless of the literary convention "Here's what happened to me"). Esp. in porn, it's to titillate, usually the male reader.
F/f domination and M/f domination seems more erotic. It's more sexual; the Dom/Domme is almost always satisfied and the f sub usually is pleasured as well. This is not the case with a F/m scenario. Infact, quite a bit of it is emascualting to the male, (Strap ons, cross dressing cuckolding to name a few)
It doesn't sound like you've got much male 'sub' in you. The male enjoys, and if an erotic cuckold, is _aroused_ by the events. Afterward, he's satisfied: we know that since he comes back!
As more than one bdsm person has observed, a sub's duties aren't that different from a traditional wife's. Hence the M/f scenario more can be routine. The F/m situation, because against norms, arguably has more erotic 'charge' and potential.
The figurative 'emasculation' is eagerly sought; for instance, the wearing of panties might well be found incredibly erotic.
Indeed, perusing the web, you'll find total service oriented far-out male subs who've chosen some degree of emasculation or 'alteration' in physical terms.
Last edited:
Bondagebunni
Petable
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2002
- Posts
- 2,933
Re: sexaul differences in humiliation
1. *blushes* what's cuckolding? >.<
2.i've been wondering that myself.
asyouwish2 said:
1. *blushes* what's cuckolding? >.<
2.i've been wondering that myself.
Ebonyfire
Ball Stretcher
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2002
- Posts
- 11,729
Re: sexaul differences in humiliation
Originally posted by asyouwish2
Is there something about a woman taking charge over a man that makes her want to humiliate a man.
I have no idea. I am a female dominant. I am not a woman with my subs. They cannot behave with me as they would with a woman they are "dating." I am not their girlfriend. That is not the nature of our relationship.
I am there to dominate. If I did not do so, my subs would not stay with me long.
Humiliation is a tool, as is a paddle, rope, strap on, flogger, feather, etc. I use every tool at my command within the confines of the boundasries we have established.
Limits and safewords are in place to ensure safety. It is not rocket science.
Again, i do not ahve r/t experience; i'm just basing this on Lit stories which is hardly scientific. F/f domination and M/f domination seems more erotic. It's more sexual; the Dom/Domme is almost always satisfied and the f sub usually is pleasured as well.
My subs are not there for sexual favors. I get my sex from whomever I please. If I wanted it they would gladly provide it. But I prefer my "very close friend" who is not involved in BDSM.
This is not the case with a F/m scenario. Infact, quite a bit of it is emascualting to the male, (Strap ons, cross dressing cuckolding to name a few)
This is not true. My subs are not emasculated. And I am not married so there are not cuckolds involved.
is there something about Female Dommes that makes them more likely to use humiliation on male subs?
Nothing "makes me more willing" to do anything. I have requirements that subs have to meet. They complete checklists and the discussions go on for a long time so that I know what they need.
It is my responsiblity to give them what they need so that they may serve me fully and to my satisfaction. If humiliation works, I use it.
EB, i'd also like to ask why You find Your vanilla lover more erotic if i may.
He is a sexy man, enuf said.
Originally posted by asyouwish2
Is there something about a woman taking charge over a man that makes her want to humiliate a man.
I have no idea. I am a female dominant. I am not a woman with my subs. They cannot behave with me as they would with a woman they are "dating." I am not their girlfriend. That is not the nature of our relationship.
I am there to dominate. If I did not do so, my subs would not stay with me long.
Humiliation is a tool, as is a paddle, rope, strap on, flogger, feather, etc. I use every tool at my command within the confines of the boundasries we have established.
Limits and safewords are in place to ensure safety. It is not rocket science.
Again, i do not ahve r/t experience; i'm just basing this on Lit stories which is hardly scientific. F/f domination and M/f domination seems more erotic. It's more sexual; the Dom/Domme is almost always satisfied and the f sub usually is pleasured as well.
My subs are not there for sexual favors. I get my sex from whomever I please. If I wanted it they would gladly provide it. But I prefer my "very close friend" who is not involved in BDSM.
This is not the case with a F/m scenario. Infact, quite a bit of it is emascualting to the male, (Strap ons, cross dressing cuckolding to name a few)
This is not true. My subs are not emasculated. And I am not married so there are not cuckolds involved.
is there something about Female Dommes that makes them more likely to use humiliation on male subs?
Nothing "makes me more willing" to do anything. I have requirements that subs have to meet. They complete checklists and the discussions go on for a long time so that I know what they need.
It is my responsiblity to give them what they need so that they may serve me fully and to my satisfaction. If humiliation works, I use it.
EB, i'd also like to ask why You find Your vanilla lover more erotic if i may.
He is a sexy man, enuf said.
Bondagebunni
Petable
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2002
- Posts
- 2,933
Re: Re: sexaul differences in humiliation
i swear is someone doesn't explain to me the word "cuckold" soon, i'm going to implode.
Ebonyfire said:
i swear is someone doesn't explain to me the word "cuckold" soon, i'm going to implode.
asyouwish2
Virgin
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2002
- Posts
- 22
differences
asyouwish2
asyouwish2
Last edited:
asyouwish2
Virgin
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2002
- Posts
- 22
Re: Re: sexaul differences in humiliation
asyouwish2
asyouwish2
Last edited:
Bondagebunni
Petable
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2002
- Posts
- 2,933
Re: Re: Re: Re: sexaul differences in humiliation
thank you...FINALLY! now it makes sense!
Ebonyfire said:
thank you...FINALLY! now it makes sense!
Bondagebunni
Petable
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2002
- Posts
- 2,933
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: sexaul differences in humiliation
silly question but...seriously? is that even in the dictionary...?
Ebonyfire said:
silly question but...seriously? is that even in the dictionary...?
Bondagebunni
Petable
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2002
- Posts
- 2,933
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: sexaul differences in humiliation
i have to see this for myself
Ebonyfire said:
i have to see this for myself
Pure
Fiel a Verdad
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2001
- Posts
- 15,135
I was thinking about something Freya responded to.
pure:
Embarrassments:
Wearing no panties under skirt;
Doing that while dining or seated in a raised area or by stairs, your legs to be left apart and to provide a view;
Appearing in public or in front of others with obvious signs of just having sex (even though clothed).
Having to masturbate in a public place, say at a restaurant with tablecloths, without letting on.
Appearing in public while dressed in the manner of a hooker.
Freya2:
All of these, except for possibly the last, would tend to arouse me more than anything.
These seem related to Eb's and other points about the special characteristics of female subs. Notice it's what I call 'embarrassments', sort of a grey area, perhaps milder than any of the truer humiliations I listed. Of course individual differences matter.
Notice in some of these cases, the third party, the observer will not even know, e.g., about the presence of panties. It would be a secret between the master and the sub. One might say the embarrassment is more due to a fantasy. In the one case--hooker attire--where the observer is aware, she found it LESS erotic.
So it appears Freya2 likes what one might call 'secretive' potential embarrassments; these are erotic for her. Along this line:
She is to walk down the street and around with this set up. A vibrating egg is in her vagina, and the wire leads out, down her sleeved arm. She's holding hands, so the wire can lead to the master's hand (with which he holds heres) up his arm and down the other arm to his free hand, which has the control for the egg.
Especially in the more public places, they stop where there are lots of people passing, like at an attractive store window with a display. Here the master can have her stand still while he increases the vibrations within her. Were she to be wearing a mid thigh (at least) coat, she could probably slip her free hand into a pocket and through its open bottom to touch her vulva, esp. if she could reach through the front of pants or the side of a skirt. She is to bring herself almost to the point of orgasm. Perhaps as an ironic counterpoint, the master could be discussing, in a voice easily heard, her last orgasmic response (though of course her present responses are not to be visible).
"My dear, I was worried, did you come last night when we made love? Do you remember moaning? What was it like for you? When you were thrusting your hips like a little monkey, was that just for me or was that your climax?"
Erotic embarrassments are indeed a fascinating area and I like to hear from those whove undergone them.
Here's one question: Describe a public conversation --those nearby can hear it--that would be both embarrassing and erotic, if apparently initiated by the 'dom/me'. (Iow, I'm assuming prior agreement at least in general terms.)
J.
pure:
Embarrassments:
Wearing no panties under skirt;
Doing that while dining or seated in a raised area or by stairs, your legs to be left apart and to provide a view;
Appearing in public or in front of others with obvious signs of just having sex (even though clothed).
Having to masturbate in a public place, say at a restaurant with tablecloths, without letting on.
Appearing in public while dressed in the manner of a hooker.
Freya2:
All of these, except for possibly the last, would tend to arouse me more than anything.
These seem related to Eb's and other points about the special characteristics of female subs. Notice it's what I call 'embarrassments', sort of a grey area, perhaps milder than any of the truer humiliations I listed. Of course individual differences matter.
Notice in some of these cases, the third party, the observer will not even know, e.g., about the presence of panties. It would be a secret between the master and the sub. One might say the embarrassment is more due to a fantasy. In the one case--hooker attire--where the observer is aware, she found it LESS erotic.
So it appears Freya2 likes what one might call 'secretive' potential embarrassments; these are erotic for her. Along this line:
She is to walk down the street and around with this set up. A vibrating egg is in her vagina, and the wire leads out, down her sleeved arm. She's holding hands, so the wire can lead to the master's hand (with which he holds heres) up his arm and down the other arm to his free hand, which has the control for the egg.
Especially in the more public places, they stop where there are lots of people passing, like at an attractive store window with a display. Here the master can have her stand still while he increases the vibrations within her. Were she to be wearing a mid thigh (at least) coat, she could probably slip her free hand into a pocket and through its open bottom to touch her vulva, esp. if she could reach through the front of pants or the side of a skirt. She is to bring herself almost to the point of orgasm. Perhaps as an ironic counterpoint, the master could be discussing, in a voice easily heard, her last orgasmic response (though of course her present responses are not to be visible).
"My dear, I was worried, did you come last night when we made love? Do you remember moaning? What was it like for you? When you were thrusting your hips like a little monkey, was that just for me or was that your climax?"
Erotic embarrassments are indeed a fascinating area and I like to hear from those whove undergone them.
Here's one question: Describe a public conversation --those nearby can hear it--that would be both embarrassing and erotic, if apparently initiated by the 'dom/me'. (Iow, I'm assuming prior agreement at least in general terms.)
J.
Last edited:
Ebonyfire
Ball Stretcher
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2002
- Posts
- 11,729
No overt public play
I do not engage in any overt public play with any of my subs. I am not one for public display anyway, and my subs have sensitive jobs where it is possible to see people who could adversely affect their jobs.
But it will be interesting to read what others post.
I do not engage in any overt public play with any of my subs. I am not one for public display anyway, and my subs have sensitive jobs where it is possible to see people who could adversely affect their jobs.
But it will be interesting to read what others post.
Pixie
______________
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2002
- Posts
- 11,048
This has been an interesting thread to read and has helped me sort out some of my thoughts on the subject. I'd just like to thank everyone who's posted and Freya for starting it, as these are some of the things I have thought of, being someone who has difficulty with self-esteem issues etc
Bondagebunni
Petable
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2002
- Posts
- 2,933
Pure said:
ooh! drool worthy
