I really like humiliation from my Domme, although I also tend to look at it as being humbled; humility, even good-natured, but naughty teasing that is embarrassing, or pushes me emotionally and physically into deeper submission. And I agree that some days I crave more and others I do not. Though, even the times I am feeling more vulnerable emotionally and less inclined to want humiliation, I usually find that it reinforces our bond - that I am Hers, that She loves and wants me, even those parts that I hide from most, and that submitting, being vulnerable and exposed to Her, is a priority. And, also importantly, that She uses it for our mutual pleasure and growth, depth, of our relationship. I love that I can trust Her to take me to those very surrendered states.
There have been a couple of times where I was feeling more insecure because of humiliation play, but usually it makes me feel more secure. If it doesn't I simply ask if we can take a break or She reads that the humiliation is not having the desired effect and She backs off and moves on to something else - but it is actually very rare, even when I think I am not up for it. Sometimes I have simply put a defensive wall up that has no need to be there and it feels wonderful (though scary) to have it crumble.
It is also never personally negative or attacking. Ours tends to include lots of naughty "derogatory" names that actually feel more like terms of endearment to me, crawling, lots of begging, "humiliating" or embarrassing positions, actions or statements, ones that push me for one reason or another, reminded how owned I am by Her, how much I am enjoying the humiliation, how naughty and surrendered I am, how much I want and need Her, that I would do anything for Her in that humbled state, etc.
They all reinforce my submission to Her (which is good), make me feel wanted (which is good), make me feel challenged (which is good), make me feel sexy (which is good), make me swoon and ache for Her personally (which is good), make me feel shaped by Her (which is good)... at the end I feel incredibly vunerable but incredibly safe, as well as more deeply bonded to Her. No walls and absolutely breathlessly in love with Her and the places She can take me safely, and upon coming back to earth I feel stronger, more myself and more deeply commited to Her and my submission to Her.
She also occasionally uses humiliation as punishment, but again it it never personally attacks me negatively. It usually involves doing things that I do not like, but are not hard limits. A couple of examples: I have mentioned getting soap in the mouth before - very unpleasant and definitely humiliating in that it is a very childish punishment and I actually submitted to it. Doing something publically that embarrasses me, which probably wouldn't embarrass me at all privately - the public aspect is the punishment and what pushes my "shame" buttons to a degree. But She never consciously uses something that is going to injure me emotionally long or short-term, though momentarily it is very uncomfortable, again I usually come out the other side with a positive lesson and corrected behavior - aligned with and more deeply bonded to Her - appreciative of Her control and influence.
Neither of us are perfect or all knowing, so when playing with more personally edgey humiliation occasionally it may sting - that may be good or bad, knowing your partner well and experimenting slowly or gently, understanding intention and being honest in reaction, and possibly even forgiving of small "mistakes" or sensitive spots triggered, and willingness to explore in unexpected directions can all be important.
I think everyone has trigger words - many you may want to avoid all together, you may eventually feel comfortable exploring others with your Dom in changing your perception of them.
Thanks for clarifying. There is obviously something going on in your mind though you don't like unfavorable comments about your body. Let's say those are not made, in any of the following.
Also, as some other posters like LS have emphasized, the _manner_ in which something is done is an equally important consideration. Polite but firm directions are often of erotic quality, imo and experience.
Things you usually do behind closed doors:
To be done in front of dom/me and possibly others.
Taking a shower
Washing your pussy
Maturbating with anal penetration
Urinating
Things connoting childhood:
Having to "ask" (no words) to speak
Having to ask to go to the bathroom
Things connoting sluttiness:
Providing some sexual service to another--say a bj (with condom).
Being masturbated by a stranger, to orgasm, in front of ...
Having a woman make love to you in front of...
Licking the master's cum from a plate:
Having it transferred to your mouth by another woman who first receives it--e.g, by kissing.
Embarrassments:
Wearing no panties under skirt;
Doing that while dining or seated in a raised area or by stairs, your legs to be left apart and to provide a view;
Appearing in public or in front of others with obvious signs of just having sex (even though clothed).
Having to masturbate in a public place, say at a restaurant with tablecloths, without letting on.
Appearing in public while dressed in the manner of a hooker.
Objectification:
Serving as a chair or seat
A coat rack
Appearing as a servant in a French maid's outfit to guests.
Demeaning: taking your meals at a smaller low kiddie table.
Being a 'pony girl'; wearing a butt plug with a pony tail.
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Getting any ideas? Figure which things and types of things have appeal. Literotica stories of 'training' 'discipline' have number of such things; look at the writings of zenwstick, for example.
