jason28053
Yes, That Jason 👻
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2006
- Posts
- 15,790
I’m a visual person, so I’m gonna need some proofSingle and ready to mingle! I have the sexiest emu legs you've ever seen.
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I’m a visual person, so I’m gonna need some proofSingle and ready to mingle! I have the sexiest emu legs you've ever seen.
I'm on Google Image Search.I’m a visual person, so I’m gonna need some proof
Are you the one in the commercials too? Do we have a celebrity on our hands?I'm on Google Image Search.
I'm not one to toot my own horn. Obvs.Are you the one in the commercials too? Do we have a celebrity on our hands?
I found myself in a very questionable corner of the Internet and cannot keep it to myselfI'm on Google Image Search.
That's my ex. She's a bitch and a whore.I found myself in a very questionable corner of the Internet and cannot keep it to myself
So she put out, yeah?That's my ex. She's a bitch and a whore.
Shoot your shot!So she put out, yeah?
This is the palate cleanser I didn't even know I needed.This is Garnate's cousin's pet emu and I didn't want to be the one to have to do this, but Garnate has died.
She was beautiful and kind and an amazing dancer. Probably the best dancer to ever dance. Her vagina smelled only of red currant essential oil and was naturally hairless.
We met in high-school 128 years ago and she has been the greatest person any of you have ever known. And when she slapped you, you just knew she did it with love. She loved slapping people out of love. She loved love. And was easily the best person at love that ever loved.
She had such deep, personal connections with all of you, except for you. She didn't really care for you, and you know who you are because she posted something funny once and you only liked it, not ha ha'd it.
She was cremated inside of her Challenger Shaker and will be dumped wistfully over Mar A Lago.
Fly with the angels, Garnate. We will all perish unceremoniously in your absence. We are nothing now that you are gone. We'll have to slap ourselves now.
We'll have to slap ourselves.
Like cranberry juice?This is the palate cleanser I didn't even know I needed.
an exceedingly fine postThis is Garnate's cousin's pet emu and I didn't want to be the one to have to do this, but Garnate has died.
She was beautiful and kind and an amazing dancer. Probably the best dancer to ever dance. Her vagina smelled only of red currant essential oil and was naturally hairless.
We met in high-school 128 years ago and she has been the greatest person any of you have ever known. And when she slapped you, you just knew she did it with love. She loved slapping people out of love. She loved love. And was easily the best person at love that ever loved.
She had such deep, personal connections with all of you, except for you. She didn't really care for you, and you know who you are because she posted something funny once and you only liked it, not ha ha'd it.
She was cremated inside of her Challenger Shaker and will be dumped wistfully over Mar A Lago.
Fly with the angels, Garnate. We will all perish unceremoniously in your absence. We are nothing now that you are gone. We'll have to slap ourselves now.
We'll have to slap ourselves.
*holesStop looking for plot holes, we're grieving here.
You don't wanna know. And I don't want to have to try to come up with something clever about it.how does an emu know such intimate facts about the newly-deceased vagina?
i know you're just an emo, sorry, emu, but i did miss an 's' in thereYou don't wanna know. And I don't want to have to try to come up with something clever about it.
It's all the red-hot vaginas.Wow... there's sure been a lot of cremations going on here in Lit lately.
Your slight blunder is forgiven. The cunt would've wanted it that way.i know you're just an emo, sorry, emu, but i did miss an 's' in there
'the newly-deceased's vagina'... wasn't trying to speak ill of the dead. i'd call her a cunt to her face and how we'd laugh....
Well heyyyyyy, stranger!*smiles smugly* I have proof that she wasnt ever real and I will never share it with anyone. I will however make snide and cryptic comments until everyone gets sick of me.
I do not know you Mr. Emu.Well heyyyyyy, stranger!
Oh shit. I knew I'd fuck up this ruse eventually...I do not know you Mr. Emu.
i think i need a whiskey... processing forgiveness by an emu is a novel experience.Your slight blunder is forgiven. The cunt would've wanted it that way.
*gasps* Y-you mean that you LIED about all of this??!!! For shame and I am devastated. Titty pics in my inbox might console me.Oh shit. I knew I'd fuck up this ruse eventually...