In defense of 'I', the 1st person POV

[dr_mabeuse]

The Dr. finds third person more of a challenge than first person, and, flattering himself that he likes a challenge, it's the voice he usually writes in, unless the exigencies of the story dictate otherwise, as often they do. He's seldom aware of his reasons for choosing one or the other: one will just feel right.

He chuckles as he readjusts his massive, 28-inch manhood from one side of the keyboard to the other, and scratches his chin as he wonders about those who say that it's easier to express emotion in first person. He slams his fist down in the desk as he realizes that in third person, the author must work harder to show you what the characters are thinking, then he falls to his knees and sobs as he remembers how easy it was to just tell readers the character's emotions when he was writing in first person voice.

He muses too on the temptation to use subjective judgments in first person, rather than objective descriptions, and upon the comfortable closeness of telling a story from the narrator's point of view, how it frees the author from having to make difficult choices about how much to tell the reader.

But third person has its limitations too, he tells himself, lifting his face from his tear-soaked carpet. He throws his world-class jalona over his shoulder and goes to the window. He thinks how silly it would be to present opinions in third person. Thoughts of politicians who refer to themselves in third person bring a wry grin to his lips.

Meanwhile, not so very far away, the girl with the face of Catherine Zeta-Jones and the 44- double D cup and the body that's to die for stretches langorously in her sleep, dreaming of a writer's hands caressing her gorgeous-looking skin; a writer who is master of all voices and knows when to use them. She wonders dimly if she'll ever find such a man...

---dr.M.

 

[sirhugs]

I use a screwdriver to cut things. Come to think of it, I use a screwdriver to nail them together, to gouge them, to shape them, to... you name it, I do it. With just a screwdriver. Thousands of people have stopped by and admired how I do it all with just a screwdriver. Unfortunately, I ain't gotten any feedback from them. Still, the screwdriver rules.

and any tool with the word 'screw' in it's name must be special....

 

[Pookie]

I guess that means that you have no use whatever for a spot welder?

I had to do a little research into what a spot welder does. It didn't take me long to reach the conclusion that I definitely have a use and need for a spot welder.

I found that a man who is an expert at spot welding can deliver exactly what is necessary to join two things together through intense heating.

A true spot welder uses four stages in the welding process, which are squeeze, weld, hold, and release.

During the first stage the materials are brought into contact through physical force. The welder applies what is necessary to bring things to a state where the materials can be easily joined together. He holds them together forcefully in just the right way, delivering the weld pulse needed until the weld nugget reaches the intended state, and then the force can be released.

The more control a welder's instrument provides over each of these stages, the greater the quality of weld that can be produced. Ideally, the operator of the welding instrument uses weld cycles with specified currents and pressures, to make the joining process a wonderful success each and every time.

There are many projects that can only be accomplished by a spot welder. Having one around all the time for just those times when things need to be heated intensely and joined together is priceless.



I am so glad to see you back, Quasi. You have been greatly missed.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

The weld nugget! Of course!

Pookie, that was beautiful. And useful too!


---dr.M.

 

[M.A.Thompson]

Re: Re: hmmmmmm

I haven't run across a second person story yet where the first paragraph hooked me enough to keep me interested.

I very much enjoyed this one.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=16218

I wonder what your take is on it?

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: hmmmmmm

You know, this sounds incredibly hostile to me now for some reason.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way.

KM-

Didn't take it as such.

As my dad says, "Different strokes for different folks." I don't expect any of my stories to appeal to the majority of readers.

As a last comment, all those stories are "vignettes" more than stories. I don't know that I could have tolerated a full blown story.

b

pookie-

Yes, spot welders are delightful and useful, but is is the braze welders that exemplify artistry with their functionality.

"Can I sweat this metal? What are the residual stresses? Will they impinge upon the geometric discontinuities?" These are all questions that the braze welder contemplates.

And don't get me started about arc welders. MMMMMMMMMM. They are just too hot. The way they have to confidently and carefully weild their tool, steady hands, lighting up the room. Va-va-va-voom.

b

dr m-

You know, of course, that the voluptuous siren awoke, ran her tongue over her fuzzy teeth and grimaced. She rubbed her eyes before seeing her lover's Byronic histrionics at the window.

Damn she thought. If not for his incredible dick and his skill with it I wouldn't put up with all of his ridiculous navel contemplation. Perhaps I just need to cancel the ISP so he will fuck me more.

"What has my brilliant author's brow furrowed this morning?"

b

 

[Pookie]

Re: Re: Re: Re: hmmmmmm

pookie-

Yes, spot welders are delightful and useful, but is is the braze welders that exemplify artistry with their functionality.

"Can I sweat this metal? What are the residual stresses? Will they impinge upon the geometric discontinuities?" These are all questions that the braze welder contemplates.

And don't get me started about arc welders. MMMMMMMMMM. They are just too hot. The way they have to confidently and carefully weild their tool, steady hands, lighting up the room. Va-va-va-voom.

b

In first person:
"Damn you! I was gonna have fun this morning. NOW I have to go do more research!!! Oh well."

In third person:
"Pookie looks around her apartment at the many improvements and repairs that are needed."

In second person:
"It's time to do some welding, mister."


Pookie (wearing my welder's mask)

 

[MathGirl]

Mexican blankets

He throws his world-class jalona over his shoulder and goes to the window.

Dear Dr M,
A jalona is like a serape, right?
MG

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Well, jalona is cognate with the ancient Hurrian juhl, which means to quiver, from which we get both our Jello and jalopy, meaning an automobile that quivers (or shakes) as it is driven. The combination via Turkish of juhl with the Northern Italian -ogna, or sausage (hence "bologna", or bull-sausage) gives us jalona, or "quivering sausage", and by Cockney rhyming slang ("Pull yer jalona, have a Corona!") has come to significate Mexican beer.

The Mexican jalona is of course pronounced "huh-LONE-ugh" and translates literally as "flatus deflector" from the Mixtec tounge.

But yes, you could say that, in a manner of speaking, so to speak as it were, Yes.

What was the question?

---dr.M.

 

[MathGirl]

But yes, you could say that, in a manner of speaking, so to speak as it were, Yes.

I thought so.
MGg

 

[KillerMuffin]

Re: Re: Re: hmmmmmm

I very much enjoyed this one.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=16218

I wonder what your take is on it?

I read that one. It sucks.

 

[TheEarl]

Re: Hands up. This is a hijack.

Then there is always Lazlo Woodbine who always uses the first person and only uses the four locations. His office where the damsel who will do him wrong comes to visit, the alleyway where he gets bopped on the head and falls into a whirling pit of darkness, Fangio's bar, where he talks a load of toot with the fatboy barman and the rooftop scene where he has the final showdown with the villain.

Name the author.

The Earl

So no-one knows the Lazlo Woodbine joke then?

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Hands up. This is a hijack.

So no-one knows the Lazlo Woodbine joke then?

Isn't he in upscale cosmetics?

Tell us, your Earlness.

 

[TheEarl]

It's a Robert Rankin thing. And none of you have ever heard of him because he's an English author. Could I be more parochial?

The Earl

 

[Quasimodem]

On Local Celebrities

The local celebrity – we are down to a two-block radius here – is a self-published author. (See: “Vanity Press, the dangers of”)

Three years ago, he oozed into every inconceivable conversation with the gambit that he was published, and did anyone wish to order a copy before they were all ‘snapped up’?

Never was there a neighbourhood hero more heartily – and sincerely – wished toward success. A best seller, we all felt confident, would remove him from the confines of his three bedroom apartment, and the heck out of our neighbourhood.

Said books were published, printed, packaged, and delivered to our budding author. They came by truck, and were unloaded into his apartment.

For the last three years, our B. A. has been short one bedroom, taken up in storage. Nor will anyone accept an offer of hospitality, since these have invariably proven to presage a hard sell exercise to worm $9.95 Canadian out of his guest, only to palm off another unwanted edition of his magnus opus. Even the Public Library has refused to accept a copy of said articles on his terms - cash.

The last time I was accosted in public by one of his invitations to a sales resistance exercise, I became a smidge uncomplimentary. Seeing that I had disgorged the aforementioned $9.95 Canadian, I thought I had earned the right to resist with every erg of energy and iota of intelligence.

“No thanks,” said I, “all my appliances are already level.”

 

[snooper]

... A true spot welder uses four stages in the welding process, which are squeeze, weld, hold, and release. ...

WHat you really need is a motor mechanic; he will know all about the Otto cycle which goes "suck, crush, bang, blow".