Is this board elitist?

[Guest]

Ok, time for me to wade in now.

Yes, Darklight, aka Light, aka Adam is my husband. We have both stated this many times on the boards, and not exclusively in the NaNo threads. Here's another example:

(From this thread:All in the family )


quote:
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Originally posted by Tatelou
As far as I know I'm the only writer in my parental family, but not in my own immediate family (hubby and kids). However, for all I know one of my brothers might secretly write and post at Lit.
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I'm just trying to imagine your brothers posting on Lit

Seriously though, apart from Tatelou and our talented girls I know no-one in my family who writes. However, my mother always encouraged me just like Tatelou's.

Thinking about it, I know very few people who even read a book (fact or fiction) on a regular basis. Often I have tried to discuss books and writing with my friends and work mates but their responses tend to be limited to,"I did read a book once."

I like to think there is creative talent within all of us but many people (family and friends) do not even give themselves the chance to try.


__________________

And my response to him:


quote:
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Originally posted by DarkLight
Seriously though, apart from Tatelou and our talented girls I know no-one in my family who writes. However, my mother always encouraged me just like Tatelou's.

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Just incase anyone is wondering (highly unlikely, but one never knows) that there personage, ie DarkLight, aka Light, aka Adam, aka Poor Downtrodden Bastard, is my lesser half.

I'd thought I'd point it out, because there seemed to be some confusion about his origins when he introduced himself in the NaNo thread. I'm still trying to work out where he came from, but that's a story for another day.

Oh yeah, hi Ad!

Your Mrs.


__________________


Adam was never expecting a warm, open-armed welcome, but he did expect the courtesy of being acknowledged.

While I'm on the subject of my friends and family, Adam isn't the only person dear to me that has been continually ignored here.

It wasn't until Adam made a big noise and said something 'oooh controversial' that everyone sat up and took notice of him. It wasn't him who had the "poor start".

Tatelou

 

[MathGirl]

Prove me wrong but if you post a reply don't flame me unless you want to show your true self

Dear DLi,
I'd call that confrontational, especially for a first post.
MG
Ps. I've nothing against those of the porcine persuasion. Sus scrofa are perfectly decent animals, when downwind. I was merely quoting something from one of my favorite books. I do that sometimes.
Pps. Here's a little secret we don't often mention: We always put an extra "e" in the word "argumentative." Isn't that cute?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Maybe I'm a sad lonely person but I seem to get ignored. My question (which isn't a dig at anyone)... Is this board elitist?

PS. Prove me wrong but if you post a reply don't flame me unless you want to show your true self B]

DL,

"Maybe I'm a sad lonely person..." (OKAY)

"...I seem to get ignored." (MAYBE THIS RELATES TO THE PREVIOUS THOUGHT OR VICE VERSA.)

"Is this board elitist?" (NOPE, BUT FOR ME AT LEAST, YOUR ATTITUDE COMES ACROSS AS A DEFENSIVE, WHINY, SELF-CENTERED, ATTENTION-GETTING-DEVICE AND, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, IT'S COMING CLOSE TO MAKING YOU THE FIRST PERSON I EVER PUT ON AN IGNORE LIST.)

"Prove me wrong?" (WHY? PROVE YOU'RE RIGHT.)

"No! We are one big happy family who value everyone's input *hugs*[/ (THAT'S ONE OF THOSE, "DO YOU STILL BEAT YOUR WIFE?" QUESTIONS. YOU'VE SET THE ANSWER UP SO THAT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES ABOUT THE BOARD BEING ELITIST IS FORCED TO ALSO AGREE WITH AN ABSURD COROLLARY.)

RF

 

[DarkLight]

Re: Re: Is this board elitist?

DL,

"Maybe I'm a sad lonely person..." (OKAY)

"...I seem to get ignored." (MAYBE THIS RELATES TO THE PREVIOUS THOUGHT OR VICE VERSA.)

"Is this board elitist?" (NOPE, BUT FOR ME AT LEAST, YOUR ATTITUDE COMES ACROSS AS A DEFENSIVE, WHINY, SELF-CENTERED, ATTENTION-GETTING-DEVICE AND, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, IT'S COMING CLOSE TO MAKING YOU THE FIRST PERSON I EVER PUT ON AN IGNORE LIST.)

"Prove me wrong?" (WHY? PROVE YOU'RE RIGHT.)

"No! We are one big happy family who value everyone's input *hugs*[/ (THAT'S ONE OF THOSE, "DO YOU STILL BEAT YOUR WIFE?" QUESTIONS. YOU'VE SET THE ANSWER UP SO THAT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES ABOUT THE BOARD BEING ELITIST IS FORCED TO ALSO AGREE WITH AN ABSURD COROLLARY.)

RF

I rest my case.

BTW I did prove myself. I quoted my first post in this thread unedited.

My, my we have a temper

 

[Guest]

Lou, Adam, I hope you believe this. When this thread started I hadn't a clue who DL was, not even when he mentioned being married to someone on the AH, I even wondered who it could possibly be. I didn't get it even when he mentioned Lou's name. I really didn't get it until Gauche's post.

As I read your post Lou, I recall your comments, but as Adam hadn't posted much at all I had not kept them in mind. Occasionally I wondered what happened to him is all.

Don't know what else to say. When the thread started Adam had only 5 posts and I took his newbie intro as most others did. I don't know if you can see that now, but I hope it won't matter in the big scheme of things.

I'm sorry but I agree with Gauche and Maths, and my initial thinking; this was a confrontational, seemingly first post. Perhaps we're at loggerheads here, but don't matter to me. I see nothing to argue about.

regards to both of you always,

Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Re: Is this board elitist?

I rest my case.

Dear Da,
You might possibly be better served by resting your fingers.
MG
Ps. Rumple, You DON'T have Pure on Ignore?
Pps. I think I'll see if DurtGurl is available. This seems like a job for her.

 

[DarkLight]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Is this board elitist?

Dear Da,
You might possibly be better served by resting your fingers.
MG
Ps. Rumple, You DON'T have Pure on Ignore?
Pps. I think I'll see if DurtGurl is available. This seems like a job for her.

Now that's a flame

Tut, Tut

 

[raphy]

DL ...

There's a different between being elitist, and choosing not to answer a post.

There's usually one of a few reasons why I'll choose to reply to a post:

1) The subject matter interests me, and I'll have a reply or comment that refers to something in the post
2) I know the person, or I've seen them post a lot, read a lot of their posts and like the way they think
3) I'm bored, and thus will reply to pretty much anything.

Taking those in reverse order..

Right now - During NaNo, category 3 very rarely comes up. I'm not spending huge amounts of time on lit like I used to, I'm too busy writing.

I know Tatelou, but I don't know you. I also haven't read enough of your posts to know whether I like and/or value your opinion. You're married to someone who's opinion i *do* respect and admire though, which gives you big plus points in my book (I figure Lou would not have married an asshole *grins*)

I don't remember any of your previous posts, so they can't have been about a subject that I had a comment on - That doesn't mean they weren't worthwhile posts -not at all- but it does mean that you haven't hit on any common ground between us yet. I'm sure that there is plenty of common ground between us, it just takes time.

And that's the rub, I think.

It takes time to break into a community. Think of lit like the bar in the TV show cheers. There's the regulars and the irregulars. Right now, you're like the guy who sits in the corner and says something every once in a while. Maybe some of the regulars will turn their heads and acknowledge what you said. Maybe they won't. Them's the breaks. You wanna be noticed, do something that gets you noticed.

Online communities are no different at all to real life communities. They have their personalities, and their non-personalities. People in the foreground, and people in the background. People who influence those in the community, and people who are influenced by the others. It's the way of human nature.

And just like any other community, you need to take time to build relationships, even online ones, with those you wish to hang out with.

Yeah, quality is more important than quantity (I should know, I'm one of the biggest blabbermouths on lit, and most of it is probably drivel) - But at the same time, if you don't say anything, then no one's going to even know you're here.

Let's say you post an introduction thread, and then you get maybe a dozen responses. On a good day, a busy day at the AH, you might even get two dozen responses. But if you then don't say anything for two weeks, you'll be forgotten. It's the way of the world.

The keyword here, my friend, is participation. That's why people who read boards and don't post on them are called lurkers. Because they lurk, and don't contribute but rarely.

No one here is ignoring you out of elitism, trust me - What we're doing is being reticent towards someone we don't know. That's natural and it's understandable. When trying to 'break into' (Bad choice of words, but my brain is fried from NaNo-ing, so bear with me) a new community the onus is usually always on the new person to make themselves known, jump in and start participating. The more participating that person does, the more the community will open up to them and get to know them ...

People aren't going to warm to you, unless you give them a chance to do that - And they aren't going to talk to you, until they warm to you.

The initiative rests with you, my friend.

 

[raphy]

You wanna be noticed, do something that gets you noticed.

Preferably a positive something

 

[DarkLight]

Lou, Adam, I hope you believe this. When this thread started I hadn't a clue who DL was, not even when he mentioned being married to someone on the AH, I even wondered who it could possibly be. I didn't get it even when he mentioned Lou's name. I really didn't get it until Gauche's post.

As I read your post Lou, I recall your comments, but as Adam hadn't posted much at all I had not kept them in mind. Occasionally I wondered what happened to him is all.

Don't know what else to say. When the thread started Adam had only 5 posts and I took his newbie intro as most others did. I don't know if you can see that now, but I hope it won't matter in the big scheme of things.

I'm sorry but I agree with Gauche and Maths, and my initial thinking; this was a confrontational, seemingly first post. Perhaps we're at loggerheads here, but don't matter to me. I see nothing to argue about.

regards to both of you always,

Perdita

I appreciate the reply Perdita. I'm not at loggerheads just asking a question


One thing I do want to make clear was the reason for the poll. It wasn't necessarily about my personal experience but of others too. If I was so worried about what others thought about me I would never, ever have started this thread.

I've read many good posts by almost everyone on the board. So my question was why can't new posters be acknowledged as willingly as the more established members. It wasn't a dig at anyone in particular.

Light

PS I read your post Tatelou

 

[raphy]

p.s. (See, I talk a lot) ..

If you think the AH is tough, try the GB .. Every board on Lit has it's 'core population' and there aren't an awful lot of crossovers. I post a lot on the AH, and people here know me now.

If I went over to the BDSM board, they'd all be like "who the fuck are? go away, noob."

Until you post a lot, and the people who frequent that board get to 'know' who you are, then you're going to be a bit ignored. It's just the way of the world. Happens in social clubs both online and in real life, all over the world.

p.p.s. Not just talking about you, but also about the other low-volume posters that you were referring to that get ignored in here. You can't tell me that any social communities that you're involved in afford new members as much respect as old ones.

Respect, like friendship, is built up over time.

But unless you give us a chance to get to know you, we don't even have the opportunity of respecting you or your opinions.

 

[raphy]

why can't new posters be acknowledged as willingly as the more established members.

See my post above, dude =)

Raph, psychologist and student of human nature. No, really.

 

[raphy]

Oh yeah - One more thing, whlist I think about it.

Are we a clique?

You bet your ass we are. Just like every single other online community, or bunch of RL friends are a clique. Just like I'm sure you have your own - Your drinking buddies: they're a clique. Other friends you hang out with. Another clique.

Remember, cliques are only ever called bad by the people who aren't in them.

 

[DarkLight]

Preferably a positive something

Hi raphy,

Your post was great and made a lot of sense and I really do appreciate the effort you took into do that. Stating things the way you did throws a more positive light on it all and answers my question I think

On that note.. I have to go to bed! It's 3 AM

 

[raphy]

Hi raphy,

Your post was great and made a lot of sense and I really do appreciate the effort you took into do that. Stating things the way you did throws a more positive light on it all and answers my question I think

On that note.. I have to go to bed! It's 3 AM

Yeah, it is. I think I hear another 2000 NaNo words calling me

No worries about the post, mate - I'm glad that it has seemed to help. My tongue was firmly in my cheek when I posted that thing about psychologist and student of human nature, BUT .. I am a psychologist, having majored in it in university, and I am a student of human nature, and what I wrote above applies to ALL communities, not just to online ones, and not just to lit.

 

[Guest]

for Professor Raff:

You done good, doc, now show me your arse.

(im)patient 'dita

 

[raphy]

Re: for Professor Raff:

You done good, doc, now show me your arse.

(im)patient 'dita

I think you know which link to click on to see my arse, cara...

 

[wornoutkeyboard]

I suppose I'll just say "hello" for the hell of it since everything seems to have gotten all settled.

~WOK

 

[5extant]

i THINK CAPTAIN KIRK IS ELITIST


*
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* *

 

[destinie21]

Dear DL,
Since we do not all participate in the Nano thing, the above was the first many of us had ever heard of you. The post was defensive and confrontational. Poor way to start.
MG
Ps. We don't rent pigs.

What MG meant is that we don't rent pigs we sell them outright. but sheep are yours on a rent to own basis as we understand they are in higher demand. We don't sell or rent gardenrobes just cuz we don't want to have to pay taxes on the land but we have a great refferal program .

I couldn't resisit

 

[5extant]

the trouble with the enterprise is well the computers
they are so sort of digital. they only ever deal with countable infinities.

 

[Parklife]

I've only been posting in the AH for about two months or so but I haven't gotten the 'elistist' vibe... I haven't been bulled over with buddy-buddy chatter either... and I'd never expect to.

As with any online community, they may welcome people into their corner of the world but that welcome takes time. The more one contributes, the more one gets in return. That's true for any newbie poster here. You have to get involved and sometimes getting involved means continually posting and not giving up because one doesn't get the 'response' or 'welcome' one wants.

Perhaps the question shouldn't be 'are the people here elistist' but rather are the newbies that don't break into the AH forum 'defeatist'?? Why do they shrink away if they don't have validation replies??

Park~

(Who still may not be known much in these parts but will post away anyway)

 

[wildsweetone]

Smooth new thread entrance!

Wish I had the nerve to do that (the word 'elitist' has baggage it seems, along with 'clique'). Actually that reminds me, I owe KM a post...


How's your NaNo coming along Light?

 

[Wills]

Hi Light

And a big warm huggy welcome from another relative newbie.

I've been out of circulation for most of last week and have just caught up with the NaNo thread and this one.

I would have welcomed you sooner and confess to being in ewe (awe) of how you and the Mrs are coping - both doing NaNo. Who's doing the hoovering? Scraping up the autumn leaves?

The board is here for entertainment, debate, idea swapping, support, encouragement and occassional outright rudeness. Take your pick. Join in where you are most comfortable.

There are threads here that I don't respond to because the topic is of no interest. There are others like the Incest thread that caused me to think deeply about a subject area and eventually forced me to write a story, which by the way I've just posted and may possibly get through - it's a disgusting little alien incest story, but quite attractively told (I hope).

I haven't found the thread arrogant or elitist to newbies, I think they just missed you first tiime up, the NaNo thread runs at an incredible pace, it's easy to skip entries.

Post some extracts from your NaNo entry, get some feedback, If you have and I've missed them then apologies, post some more.

Just join in so people can see who you are, that's what I did, it seems to work. I've only got chided once - but that was only MG so you don't take offence

Happy posting.

Will's

 

[Linbido]

Here comes a late reply, I've been away a few days.

DarkLight,

As a recent 'noob' with just about the same history as you, (I'm Icing's fiancee, and started posting because he nagged me into it.) I must say...

Ok, wait. First I must say hello! And welcome. There, not that is out of the way.

...then I must say that I really don't know where you got the impression from that this place was ignoring the newbies. It took me quite a while to get people to know me in here. I had lurked and read posts for a while, so I knew much more about people here then they knew about me. I think it's not that much about acceptance as it is about --- safety actually. People are different, and I can talk to different people in here differently, jokes for some are serious business for others, and noone want to insult anyone (well, some do, but A-Hs don't matter). There are some people I know that I can greet with a "Hi there, motherfucker!" and get a merry "Ahoy, asswipe!" back, and we're still the best of friends.

I usually don't adress new posters personally when I'm on online boards like this one until I know how to handle them, how they function, and I don't expect anything more from others. And with 15 of your 22 posts on this board done in this thread, and a handful other in other threads in he last two days or so, that leaves very little before to get to know you by before that, right?

-Lin

ps I'm glad see that allt his seems to have been settled already. So jump and take a bite.

pps And Lou, Tate, honestly, despite a big fat introduction post in huge honking letters in a separate thread, and constant reminders, I still get the 'is it just me, or is there something going on between you and the Cake' - notes. It took me quite a while to get the D21-RJ connection too, since I missed their initial wedding announcement. We miss stuff like that all the time. It's no biggie, please don't make it one.