Isolated Poetry Blurt

[butters]

*sigh*

story of my life - i make a better reader than writer. ah well.
if i had a quid for every time another poet's told me 'you really understand my poetry!' and 'i'd love to hear what you think of this one' and . . . yeah, you've all been there, right? well i'd not only be there, i'd be a very rich readererererer.

now if i could only write in a way that got such a reaction. we're all pee-ers, right?

 

[darkmaas]

A rhyming dodecaplet to be recited after the cigarette but before the blindfold.


Just before the fall
Baby, up against the wall
Sister took your doll
She’s up against the wall
Verizon dropped your call
Up against the wall
Been hangin’ at the mall
Kid you’re up against the wall
Feelin’ kinda small?
Then up against the wall
Think you dropped the ball
It’s up against the wall.

::

 

[Lilhi]

This is so precious it makes me sigh.

The Color Chocolate

She must get this from her mother
that cute nose wrinkle, turning down
beef and vegetables.
This born again carnivore,
farmer's market hound,
has them always on his plate
and ate before the milk is gone.

But fool her and her mother too,
she has chocolate cake and mousse
for breakfast, cups full of
sneaky beets and zucchini.
The pudding topping is
protein powder in disguise.

Ick, right? I know, but I have to.

It's all brown, she doesn't care
because it's all colored chocolate.
That's what I tell her and she cleans
her dish better than soap and water.

 

[Neonurotic]

This is so precious it makes me sigh.

Hey Lil, thank you.
ps, your inbox is full.

 

[annaswirls]

Stephen King hates adverbs and I think I agree with him.

I emphatically agree.

 

[annaswirls]

I often over-cut and then upon review attempt to stuff words back in. It ain't pretty.

I don't see how anyone can write a poem without them. You'd have poems that are active (verbs) but empty (no subjects). Weird for sure. Sometimes I think I go overboard taking words out but usually more stuff like "and," "but," words that don't add meaning to me. But I prolly do it too much.

I overuse adberbs, I have noticed um...frequently.

I am on a mission to keep them out of my poems if I can although if it's the right word, who cares what it is, eh?

Nice to see you. You're looking six-pack-tastic.

 

[annaswirls]

sneaky beets

Love this Neo!

The Color Chocolate

She must get this from her mother
that cute nose wrinkle, turning down
beef and vegetables.
This born again carnivore,
farmer's market hound,
has them always on his plate
and ate before the milk is gone.

But fool her and her mother too,
she has chocolate cake and mousse
for breakfast, cups full of
sneaky beets and zucchini.
The pudding topping is
protein powder in disguise.

Ick, right? I know, but I have to.

It's all brown, she doesn't care
because it's all colored chocolate.
That's what I tell her and she cleans
her dish better than soap and water.

 

[annaswirls]

best title ever

A rhyming dodecaplet to be recited after the cigarette but before the blindfold.


Just before the fall
Baby, up against the wall
Sister took your doll
She’s up against the wall
Verizon dropped your call
Up against the wall
Been hangin’ at the mall
Kid you’re up against the wall
Feelin’ kinda small?
Then up against the wall
Think you dropped the ball
It’s up against the wall.

::

 

[darkmaas]

best title ever

Thank you. I'm being shamelessly nagged to write a Pantoum and castigated for a misconceived notion that I don't like Form, and yet I have brought the Forum both the Truncated Hexaquintalet and now the Rhyming Dodecaplet.

Sigh.

::

 

[Neonurotic]

I hate spiders. I want to punch someone in the mouth when they say they're beneficial, most are harmless and shy, don't kill them. Just pick them up and put them outside. No thank you. They get the size 11 shoe.

 

[butters]

maybe i'm too suggestible, but what wonderful reading - it all makes so much sense!

 

[Neonurotic]

Happy 21st Frances Bean! Miss you Kurt.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

 

[Desejo]

Broken Kenmore dryer
Service agreement dated 2002
we can get to you by Sept 4th, ma'am
We have a clothesline, but no clothespins
Where do I buy some?
Amazon.com

 

[HarryHill]

Broken Kenmore dryer
Service agreement dated 2002
we can get to you by Sept 4th, ma'am
We have a clothesline, but no clothespins
Where do I buy some?
Amazon.com

..
magnetic chip clips work wonders
how a simple tool to close my Doritos
holds up all of the clean clothes and the bag,
open on the line for hasty snacks between wringings
inspired engineering

 

[butters]

all the pleasure and excitement of discovering the new stuff
delighted that it was out there and you only need to realise it to be so aware of it everywhere

then feeling an absolute beginner, wondering how much else is out there waiting for me to become aware enough to see it exists.

scary but good - i see this as a landmark point in understanding more of the theoretical side of things. how it'll affect my writes remains to be seen.

 

[Desejo]

..
magnetic chip clips work wonders
how a simple tool to close my Doritos
holds up all of the clean clothes and the bag,
open on the line for hasty snacks between wringings
inspired engineering

Tempted to lay it all out on the lawn
but instead of botfly
which a good swipe with an iron kills
it's lyme tick
guess an iron could kill that too
but yuck

 

[butters]

what's occurring with the viewing figures? one second it says 14 viewing, i click on the forum, the menu opens up, no new posts appearing so click on 'main' forums again - and now no-one's viewing? all in the space of about 15 seconds.

 

[dmetria]

Insomnia 1: Describe

Her thick shoulder length hair was a bland shade of brown with traces of grey here and there. Her full face held a shade of laughter always with a striking yet sly smile hovering at the edge of her otherwise common lips and her crow’s feet forever adding to the amused picture of her shrewd grey-eyed gaze. Strong wide shoulders did not detract but enhance the beauty that was uniquely her. Sagging breasts merely told a tale of long life taking nothing away from her presence. A full belly resting atop petite legs and ending in small feet, dirty from much wear and tear in an everyday existence. Strong hands and strong feet callused from hard work and hard life. She was a survivor; she was resilient, stout, sturdy...she was strong.
No longer.
Short, thin grey hair with the occasional strand of bland brown clings yet to life atop her dying head. Whitish grey burrowed eyes gaze vacantly at nothing while her withered lips strive to hide, caving unto themselves. Thin hollowed cheeks trumpet resignation to defeat. Her frail skeletal frame now sits atop scrawny trembling legs. As she walks, shaking hands clutching the rails in a death grip, toward nothing where no one awaits.



is this crap? or should i submit? i know I'm not supposed to post here but i write a lot and if this is crap i wont submit anything.. I'm sorry

 

[champagne1982]

Seven years in and I'm feeling like I could dance all night, if only the night were 3 hours long.

 

[todski28]

tonight eleven plus seven equals banana

 

[champagne1982]

tonight eleven plus seven equals banana

It's actually in celebration of my aortic valve replacement which was (for the second time around the heart-lung bypass machine) seven years ago yesterday.

So yep!

​

By the way, can you guess which poem I wrote when I learned the news that my surgeon was going to crack my chest open, again?

 

[Angeline]

OMG! Poetweets! Random tweets in iambic pentameter make found sonnets. Yeah, really.

I want the other Spanish teacher back.
Sting ray a double sided Scooby snack.

If only they could enjamb.

 

[butters]

this whole awarding a score depending on who the person is and stuff like that . . . what? surely, surely, it should be about scoring the piece, addressing the piece, looking ONLY at the piece when it comes down to the judgement call a score denotes.

yeah, it's great to encourage or suggest a more rigorous approach - but that's what comments are for; as far as i'm concerned, the author's irrelevant when it comes to scoring. i'd happily do it not knowing the author of any piece - i don't believe it'd affect how i rate a work at all.

 

[butters]

it's not unknown for some of the best poems to arrive fast - virtually complete

yes, time taken to consider edits and that should be par for the course, but there are times very little's required - except the contemplation of 'how could i make this work better?' a word here, a typo there - not all poems require a lot of change, defy interference even . . .

some poems just are

 

[butters]

Bloody hell, Angeline! have you ever read tim burton's poem 'the melancholy death of oyster boy'? it's horrific and sad and would have been a hands-down, head-over-heels winner of the nano-clams and other molloscs challenge *wipes a tear*

http://homepage.tinet.ie/~sebulbac/burton/oysterboy.html