Just a typical AH thread - nothing to see here

[alohadave]

Everyone knows I have daily sex dyslexia

Sexlexia

 

[SimonDoom]

Because it made me cackle.

Designing a condom for that must be a bitch.

 

[MrPixel]

Designing a condom for that must be a bitch.

It's called a capo.

 

[MillieDynamite]

What a glorious day in the neighborhood.

It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood
A beautiful day for a neighbor
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood
A neighborly day for a beauty
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
I have always wanted to have a neighbor
Just like you
I've always wanted to live in a neighbor-
Hood with you, so
Let's make the most of this beautiful day
Since we're together, we might as well say
Would you be mine, could you be mine
Won't you be my neighbor?
Won't you, please?
Won't you, please?
Please won’t you be my neighbor?

 

[Sparky74]

What a glorious day in the neighborhood.

It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood
A beautiful day for a neighbor
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood
A neighborly day for a beauty
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
I have always wanted to have a neighbor
Just like you
I've always wanted to live in a neighbor-
Hood with you, so
Let's make the most of this beautiful day
Since we're together, we might as well say
Would you be mine, could you be mine
Won't you be my neighbor?
Won't you, please?
Won't you, please?
Please won’t you be my neighbor?

How lovely and yes would love to be your neighbour.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Okay, but it is a bit of a dangerous neighborhood. But it's weeks since we had a drive-by shooting or gang rape.

How lovely and yes would love to be your neighbour.

 

[Sparky74]

Okay, but it is a bit of a dangerous neighborhood. But it's weeks since we had a drive-by shooting or gang rape.

Definitely not a boring neighborhood then.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Actually, we upgraded and moved into Jo's father's house after his death a few years ago. Very boring now.

Definitely not a boring neighborhood then.

 

[MrPixel]

We would like to invite everybody to our neighborhood today up at the cabin. Sunny with a few puffy clouds, mid-70s, low humidity, and a slight breeze. Just lovely, and the few neighbors we notice in the campground are quiet and not bothering anybody.

Especially the bunny rabbits. The only one who gets upset about the bunnies is the dog. One bounce against the glass door and he is reminded, "Not today, fella."

 

[MillieDynamite]

There are two stray cats that come around the front of our house at night to flirt with Cat. Sometimes the two get into fights over her. She likes that, she likes it a lot, but she's been fixed, so no monkey business happens when she has her afternoon hunting season in the backyard. I don't know if they have every shown up while she's outside. She goes over the fence at the back, sometimes, to rid the alley of any potential mice.

We would like to invite everybody to our neighborhood today up at the cabin. Sunny with a few puffy clouds, mid-70s, low humidity, and a slight breeze. Just lovely, and the few neighbors we notice in the campground are quiet and not bothering anybody.

Especially the bunny rabbits. The only one who gets upset about the bunnies is the dog. One bounce against the glass door and he is reminded, "Not today, fella."

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

I've lost five pounds in the last two months. Not stellar, but not bad for me. My son and his girlfriend have tied the knot, but only after the baby was born. No, I ain't happy about being a grandmother. But I love the little half a Jew, 3/4 a black bugger. He's (the son, not the baby) started at DU Law, she they are underfoot all the time. Free food, don't you know. I just wish his wife would convert to at least a Messianic Jew. Oh, and I'm officially a Messianic Jew now. Heaven has never been a very solid thing for me as a Jew. We don't think about an afterlife. We don't believe in Hell, and we are doubtful about a heaven. Now, all my lifelong views are turned on their ear. Judaism is about being a good person, not the afterlife. I'm still gonna live that way. What a strange new world my hubby and I find ourselves in. He's made another 180 turn in faith. Oy vey!

 

[MillieDynamite]

I was prepared to be really impressed that a month-old baby boy had entered the University of Denver's Law School! But you ruined the fun by the bracted statement.

I've lost five pounds in the last two months. Not stellar, but not bad for me. My son and his girlfriend have tied the knot, but only after the baby was born. No, I ain't happy about being a grandmother. But I love the little half a Jew, 3/4 a black bugger. He's (the son, not the baby) started at DU Law, she they are underfoot all the time. Free food, don't you know. I just wish his wife would convert to at least a Messianic Jew. Oh, and I'm officially a Messianic Jew now. Heaven has never been a very solid thing for me as a Jew. We don't think about an afterlife. We don't believe in Hell, and we are doubtful about a heaven. Now, all my lifelong views are turned on their ear. Judaism is about being a good person, not the afterlife. I'm still gonna live that way. What a strange new world my hubby and I find ourselves in. He's made another 180 turn in faith. Oy vey!

 

[Candy_Kane54]

"What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty has an opportunity." — J. Sidlow Baxter

"Don't Worry Be Happy" — Bobby McFerrin

 

[SimonDoom]

Lesson: Be like a dog.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Lesson: Be like a dog.

But observe, Simon: the cat gets things done. I can see how it applies to your endless story starts, though .

 

[MetaBob]

Seconded. Just as Altissimus and HappySpouse are good dudes. VixGiovanni and Emmeran did me a solid. And Emmeline, oh where and wherefore have you gone?

Another pair of very fine people: Alitaptap and seraph_nocturne, who said a thing I asked her to look over was fine just as it was. Altissimus, on the other hand, ripped it full of holes, not that I minded -- I'd gotten content thinking it was good as it was, and he helped make it better. But so did seraph_nocturne . I couldn't ask for more.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Lesson: Be like a dog.

Me - "I'm pretty sure I know where this is headed...yep, only 14 seconds left on the video for the cats, I know exactly where this is headed..."

 

[AchtungNight]

Okay, but it is a bit of a dangerous neighborhood. But it's weeks since we had a drive-by shooting or gang rape.

It’s cool. I got a background in law enforcement, mean martial arts skills, and contacts with experts in just about any field you could name.

 

[EmilyMiller]

 

[SimonDoom]

 

[MelissaBaby]

View attachment 2269427

Later, when Pooh was sleeping, Piglet superglued Pooh's penis to his thigh, and tossed his shoes in the dumpster.

"That will teach you to hog all the snow white," Piglet said.

He took Pooh's wallet and watch, and skipped away.

 

[MelissaBaby]

What? Not happy enough?

 

[SimonDoom]

What? Not happy enough?

It's a different kind of "happy."

 

[AchtungNight]

In the shadows, a disgraced donkey was clapping.

 

[MrPixel]

The donkey couldn't be bothered.