Kinky Dating

[twister947]

I think a small Hulk action figure holding up my dick would be just about right for my ad.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I think a small Hulk action figure holding up my dick would be just about right for my ad.

*fucking swoons*

 

[cookiecat]

I think a small Hulk action figure holding up my dick would be just about right for my ad.

Haha! Perfect.

On a different note, I was at a play party where a guy was wearing those Hulk have trying to spank his girl. It was pretty funny.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I think a small Hulk action figure holding up my dick would be just about right for my ad.

I found your perfect match:

 

[JJonah]

I found your perfect match:

That.

Is.

Fucking.

Awesome.

Excellent find.

 

[cookiecat]

I found your perfect match:

Haha!!! Awesome!! Plus she has really nice breasts!!!

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Haha!!! Awesome!! Plus she has really nice breasts!!!

HULK SMOOSH!

 

[cookiecat]

I met my husband on a kinky dating site.

My name there was kinkyjunecleaver.

Prior to that it was this one - cookiecat. My goal was a monogamous kinky relationship and I wasn't finding anyone who had the same goals in mind.

I decided to take a different approach. Changed my profile name, changed my profile to be more about the relationship and less about the sex. Although the number of messages went down a bunch, the kind of guy messaging me was more interested in monogamy.

Fortunately, Mr. cookie replied!

He did want his money back for false advertising on the "june cleaver" part. Fortunately, he was an excellent cook and I enjoyed washing the dishes with no pants on. win-won

Do profile names make a difference? Do they color your judgement?

 

[twister947]

I'm glad you found your Ward.

 

[cookiecat]

I'm glad you found your Ward.

 

[cookiecat]

So I do have an ad on a kinky site.

It's the site where I met the better half. I've had the profile up forever. When mr. C was sick, I used it to dirty talk once in a while just to blow off some steam, so to speak. The profile was all fantasy - all about anal sex and a bunch of other dirty shit.

I was clear it was just a "let's talk dirty" profile - didn't want to meet, no hook ups, yada yada. I got a lot of takers.

Now that I've changed my profile to a benign picture of my knees (one of those at the pool pics) and I talk about wanting to meet, let's have a date, I'm kinky as fuck but won't fuck you on the first date kind of a thing, I get about one message a week.

It's curious how people either want to keep kink inside their heads - no blood, sweat, tears - or only want the fast NSA fuck. I understand there are situations, like I had, where the best alternative to the real thing is yakking about it.

I'm not really hopeful I'll meet anyone local on this site. Which, maybe, is a-ok.

 

[AlwaysFara]

So I do have an ad on a kinky site.

It's the site where I met the better half. I've had the profile up forever. When mr. C was sick, I used it to dirty talk once in a while just to blow off some steam, so to speak. The profile was all fantasy - all about anal sex and a bunch of other dirty shit.

I was clear it was just a "let's talk dirty" profile - didn't want to meet, no hook ups, yada yada. I got a lot of takers.

Now that I've changed my profile to a benign picture of my knees (one of those at the pool pics) and I talk about wanting to meet, let's have a date, I'm kinky as fuck but won't fuck you on the first date kind of a thing, I get about one message a week.

It's curious how people either want to keep kink inside their heads - no blood, sweat, tears - or only want the fast NSA fuck. I'm not really hopeful I'll meet anyone local on this site. Which, maybe, is a-ok.

It *does* happen, ya know.

 

[cookiecat]

It *does* happen, ya know.

haha! Yup. Maybe I need to hang out at the pool more often.

 

[SparkyWalter]

Oh I want to play! How about this?


Need organization in your life but still maintain control? Moderate OCD sub will alphabetize pantry spices, library, and medicine cabinet after color coding your closets, drawers, etc. Can also cook and bake well but procrstinates well so need unyielding direction with cleanup.

Looking for patient and tolerant Top to take firm charge with nipple clamps, spanking, clit and anal toys. Role play, pet, DD/lg ok. Expert at innovative gags and predicament bondage a plus.

My goodness you sound absolutely perfect. I think it would be so much fun to play at the same time organizing. Of course I think there probably wouldn't be too much organizing, Because then it would be too much fun to enjoy all the things you mentioned here.

I think very quickly you would have to find out that I enjoyed being in control and taking care of my sub. I'm sure you wouldn't organize Everything perfectly so you may need a little bit of discipline and you will have to get an erotic spanking.

 

[gracie920101]

My goodness you sound absolutely perfect. I think it would be so much fun to play at the same time organizing. Of course I think there probably wouldn't be too much organizing, Because then it would be too much fun to enjoy all the things you mentioned here.

I think very quickly you would have to find out that I enjoyed being in control and taking care of my sub. I'm sure you wouldn't organize Everything perfectly so you may need a little bit of discipline and you will have to get an erotic spanking.

Uh...Sparky? You do realize this thread is about hypothetical ads and no one is truly ISO in this thread because there's like a bajillion other threads in the forum for that?

 

[AlwaysFara]

Uh...Sparky? You do realize this thread is about hypothetical ads and no one is truly ISO in this thread because there's like a bajillion other threads in the forum for that?

I was gonna say something, but I’m trying to not berate quite so much. I’m sure Bramble was chomping at the bit, too.

 

[JJonah]

I was gonna say something, but I’m trying to not berate quite so much. I’m sure Bramble was chomping at the bit, too.

Awwww.

Can’t blame a guy for trying.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Awwww.

Can’t blame a guy for trying.

Ewww.

 

[JJonah]

Ewww.

Whut?

 

[Bramblethorn]

I was gonna say something, but I’m trying to not berate quite so much. I’m sure Bramble was chomping at the bit, too.

I've been sick and working so I only just saw this, but yeah. That.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I've been sick and working so I only just saw this, but yeah. That.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Awwww.

Can’t blame a guy for trying.

We can, though?

*dons Hat Of Buzzkill*

That whole "can't blame me for trying" line is basically what spammers tell themselves every time they flood your inbox with ads for cheap Ray-Bans, night-vision goggles, sexy babes in your neighbourhood, blah blah blah. The 0.00001% chance you might want to buy this unsolicited thing from a complete stranger, that's all the justification they need. This is just another kind of spam.

Unfortunately a lot of guys who wouldn't dream of emailing a complete stranger to offer her an amazing deal on the X70 Tactical Flashlight have been taught that offering their hot man love is somehow different. Boys get told "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take", etc. etc. without being encouraged to think about the other side of the story, the near-certainty that most women would prefer not to be hit on every time they try to have a conversation, and maybe those preferences should count for more than the tiny, tiny possibility that they might say yes.

I understand that guys get exposed to a lot of bullshit growing up, and it's hard to unlearn that shit, and on an erotica forum like this it may not be immediately obvious to a newbie that this isn't going to be one huge no-holds-barred orgy. Sometimes somebody has to explain it to them.

When that happens... please don't step in to deflect it. Gracie was pretty gentle with what she said, just explaining that this discussion wasn't what he'd taken it for. Trying to deflect that and justify the behaviour just gets in the way of him learning the lesson he needs to learn, and that doesn't do anybody any good. Nobody's throwing rocks at him or kicking him off the forum, just communicating that this isn't the place to be propositioning strangers. Anybody old enough to be posting on Literotica should be able to cope with that kind of information.

*removes Hat of Buzzkill and puts it away in the wardrobe for next time*

 

[AlwaysFara]

We can, though?

*dons Hat Of Buzzkill*

That whole "can't blame me for trying" line is basically what spammers tell themselves every time they flood your inbox with ads for cheap Ray-Bans, night-vision goggles, sexy babes in your neighbourhood, blah blah blah. The 0.00001% chance you might want to buy this unsolicited thing from a complete stranger, that's all the justification they need. This is just another kind of spam.

Unfortunately a lot of guys who wouldn't dream of emailing a complete stranger to offer her an amazing deal on the X70 Tactical Flashlight have been taught that offering their hot man love is somehow different. Boys get told "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take", etc. etc. without being encouraged to think about the other side of the story, the near-certainty that most women would prefer not to be hit on every time they try to have a conversation, and maybe those preferences should count for more than the tiny, tiny possibility that they might say yes.

I understand that guys get exposed to a lot of bullshit growing up, and it's hard to unlearn that shit, and on an erotica forum like this it may not be immediately obvious to a newbie that this isn't going to be one huge no-holds-barred orgy. Sometimes somebody has to explain it to them.

When that happens... please don't step in to deflect it. Gracie was pretty gentle with what she said, just explaining that this discussion wasn't what he'd taken it for. Trying to deflect that and justify the behaviour just gets in the way of him learning the lesson he needs to learn, and that doesn't do anybody any good. Nobody's throwing rocks at him or kicking him off the forum, just communicating that this isn't the place to be propositioning strangers. Anybody old enough to be posting on Literotica should be able to cope with that kind of information.

*removes Hat of Buzzkill and puts it away in the wardrobe for next time*

I have the same hat.

 

[cookiecat]

*adjusts the spotlight over the Buzzkill Hat, shuts the glass cover, and thinks well done, Bramblethorn!*

*dons the Original Poster crown*

So - this is my kinky dating ad. What say you?

(insert my state) nice girl looking for Daddy type Dominant. Although I have been in real time bdsm for about 15 years, I have been out of the dating and relationship loop for a while. I am not looking to get married, but am not looking for a no-strings fling, either.

I am short, chubby, cute, smart, sometimes full of anxiety, most times relatively normal. I like Daddy girl stuff - spanking, cock worship, rules (sometimes), a relationship filled with trust, respect, fun, HoH, domestic discipline, orgasm denial, exploring dirty secrets and - you know - long walks on the beach, pina coladas, hanging out with friends, travel, exploring the city, snuggling - did I mention cock worship??

The last few years made me realize how short life really is. I have worked hard and look forward to a life filled with peace, honesty, joy, eventually a nice retirement, anal, bondage, and hopefully a guy who appreciates those things, too.

You are single, sane, identify as a Daddy type (really, whatever that means!?) and you like chubby, cute women. You are honest, not afraid to admit you have feelings but also not afraid to shut me up by shoving your fingers down my throat and telling me to focus on the important things. You like spanking a big butt. Preferably my big butt.

Maybe you like live music, having a beer at a dive bar, tying up a cute chubby chick and having your way with her (at home, not at the dive bar....) You smell good, have nice teeth and like the idea of ownership tangled up with a vanilla life.

If you have made it this far, I am fairly recently widowed and feeling very tender and skittish about this whole dating, meeting, kissing and kink stuff.

 

[AlwaysFara]

*adjusts the spotlight over the Buzzkill Hat, shuts the glass cover, and thinks well done, Bramblethorn!*

*dons the Original Poster crown*

So - this is my kinky dating ad. What say you?

(insert my state) nice girl looking for Daddy type Dominant. Although I have been in real time bdsm for about 15 years, I have been out of the dating and relationship loop for a while. I am not looking to get married, but am not looking for a no-strings fling, either.

I am short, chubby, cute, smart, sometimes full of anxiety, most times relatively normal. I like Daddy girl stuff - spanking, cock worship, rules (sometimes), a relationship filled with trust, respect, fun, HoH, domestic discipline, orgasm denial, exploring dirty secrets and - you know - long walks on the beach, pina coladas, hanging out with friends, travel, exploring the city, snuggling - did I mention cock worship??

The last few years made me realize how short life really is. I have worked hard and look forward to a life filled with peace, honesty, joy, eventually a nice retirement, anal, bondage, and hopefully a guy who appreciates those things, too.

You are single, sane, identify as a Daddy type (really, whatever that means!?) and you like chubby, cute women. You are honest, not afraid to admit you have feelings but also not afraid to shut me up by shoving your fingers down my throat and telling me to focus on the important things. You like spanking a big butt. Preferably my big butt.

Maybe you like live music, having a beer at a dive bar, tying up a cute chubby chick and having your way with her (at home, not at the dive bar....) You smell good, have nice teeth and like the idea of ownership tangled up with a vanilla life.

If you have made it this far, I am fairly recently widowed and feeling very tender and skittish about this whole dating, meeting, kissing and kink stuff.

This is so hot.