Leave BDSM?

[FungiUg]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Oddly enough...

Was that an erection, or a psychotic break?

That was me agreeing with James, so I guess "psychotic break" covers it.

 

[InnerDarkness]

You might think I am a dork, but several posts in this thread...particularly from Catalina....brought tears to my eyes...

I have been on the verge of walking away from BDSM or fully embracing it for a few months now...mostly as I work towards the final decision of divorce from my vanilla husband...and as I work toward a relationship with my Sir...

I can not walk away...it is who I am....and although I could try and find happiness in other ways, I just cant live without this lifestyle...it is the basis of who I am....no amount of love and devotion and "fun times" with a guy who cant dominate me is going to change that....

Thank you all for sharing...i wish i had seen this thread earlier, but it was during my hiatus from Lit...thanks...truly...

 

[redelicious]

You might think I am a dork, but several posts in this thread...particularly from Catalina....brought tears to my eyes...

I have been on the verge of walking away from BDSM or fully embracing it for a few months now...mostly as I work towards the final decision of divorce from my vanilla husband...and as I work toward a relationship with my Sir...

I can not walk away...it is who I am....and although I could try and find happiness in other ways, I just cant live without this lifestyle...it is the basis of who I am....no amount of love and devotion and "fun times" with a guy who cant dominate me is going to change that....

Thank you all for sharing...i wish i had seen this thread earlier, but it was during my hiatus from Lit...thanks...truly...

And I must be the flip side of this.

I also know that being submissive is who I am, but the lifestyle is not an option for me. I have a child, who is my world, and a husband. I already have a responsibility to both.

I had the opportunity and I chose to let it go. It was hard. It's still hard. It will always be hard.

Doesn't change who I am at my core, and maybe one day when the time is right I will have another chance. If it is meant to be, it will be.


(((((ID)))))

 

[catalina_francisco]

And I must be the flip side of this.

I also know that being submissive is who I am, but the lifestyle is not an option for me. I have a child, who is my world, and a husband. I already have a responsibility to both.

I had the opportunity and I chose to let it go. It was hard. It's still hard. It will always be hard.

Doesn't change who I am at my core, and maybe one day when the time is right I will have another chance. If it is meant to be, it will be.


(((((ID)))))

Everyone has to do what is right for them in this space in time...after all only you can live your reality. To do other than you feel comfortable with will only sabotage your happiness by consuming you with a variety of guilts and 'what ifs'. It may well be you reach a point where you feel more comfortable and free to follow your desires at some point in the future, just as it may be you choose to fulfil your responsibilities as you see them now. The perfect solution would be if you could do both in some way which does not hurt anyone. I will keep this thought for you in the hope positive vibrations can help......remember though, you are just as entitled to your happiness as are your SO and children.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

You might think I am a dork, but several posts in this thread...particularly from Catalina....brought tears to my eyes...

I have been on the verge of walking away from BDSM or fully embracing it for a few months now...mostly as I work towards the final decision of divorce from my vanilla husband...and as I work toward a relationship with my Sir...

I can not walk away...it is who I am....and although I could try and find happiness in other ways, I just cant live without this lifestyle...it is the basis of who I am....no amount of love and devotion and "fun times" with a guy who cant dominate me is going to change that....

Thank you all for sharing...i wish i had seen this thread earlier, but it was during my hiatus from Lit...thanks...truly...

I have faith in your finding the strength you need to make the decisions which are right for all involved, including yourself....you have already begun the hard work of facing it openly and honestly, which is usually the most difficult and gut wrenching.

Catalina

 

[redelicious]

Everyone has to do what is right for them in this space in time...after all only you can live your reality. To do other than you feel comfortable with will only sabotage your happiness by consuming you with a variety of guilts and 'what ifs'. It may well be you reach a point where you feel more comfortable and free to follow your desires at some point in the future, just as it may be you choose to fulfil your responsibilities as you see them now. The perfect solution would be if you could do both in some way which does not hurt anyone. I will keep this thought for you in the hope positive vibrations can help......remember though, you are just as entitled to your happiness as are your SO and children.

Catalina

Thank you Catalina.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: ?????????

I feel for you in this situation you find yourself and there is nothing I or anyone else can say to make it work out perfect for you again. I think many relationships, vanilla and lifestyle go through these changes over time..some survive, others cannot without compromising the needs of one or both parties. It is difficult initially to face the prospect of letting go of the 'dream', that is the vague or defined path you saw that relationship taking and existing on, to accept it may no longer be the reality you find yourself in.

It is in large part a letting go process of that dream as no matter how much you want the desired outcome to be reality, it often isn't. It is a process of discovery, grieving, and growth, painful, but eventually freeing, giving you and your partner the opportunity to find the one/s who fulfils your individual needs. It takes time, hard work, and a lot of self care to navigate your way through, but is not impossible. I wish you luck in your journey and feel you will have the courage to face whatever the future holds for you both, together or separately. Take care.
Catalina

Hmmm .. I don't know if dream is the right word for it... perhaps one of those dreams you have while in a high fever.

I did just realize that I haven't written a single decent (or indecent but good, for that matter) bit of verse since my current descent in vanilladom.

Don't that suck

 

[Guest]

An annoying thought

Here's an annoying thought-

Is the critical question not really "would I ever leave BDsM?". But rather "would BDsM ever leave me????".

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Re: ?????????

Hmmm .. I don't know if dream is the right word for it... perhaps one of those dreams you have while in a high fever.

I did just realize that I haven't written a single decent (or indecent but good, for that matter) bit of verse since my current descent in vanilladom.

Don't that suck

You oughta see someone about that problem!!!!

C