Litmerick

[UnderYourSpell]

Now the poor girl has had it up her
All marriage plans he did scupper
So she slipped on board ship
Told the captain his lip
For a dollar or two could tup her

 

[FifthFlower]

Before they were married, the end
Of virginity came when his friend
Tried her on, just because
She's a virgin, or was,
But she loves her man, so she'll pretend.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

She'll cry out when he puts it in
And no one will know of the sin
Of taken unwilling
And not for a shilling
Then both of the lovers will win.

 

[FifthFlower]

Then his friend slipped and said he had done
Her one time in his car. He's the one
Who was first to get in.
"Likely now many men
Have been lucky and had her for fun."

 

[UnderYourSpell]

You're not doing it right said she
Now if you really want to please me
Lips part me a bit
And tickle my clit
Spreadeagled and tied to a tree!

 

[FifthFlower]

So he ties his sweet love to a tree,
Spreads her legs so he clearly can see
Why he loves her so much.
His soft tongue loves to touch
Where his cock soon will pump steadily.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

ooooooooooo rooood girllllllllllll

 

[FifthFlower]

ooooooooooo rooood girllllllllllll

Birthday Wish

On your birthday, may love be so bold
You are young, though another year old.
When your lover will see
To your heart tenderly,
His 'I love you' won't have to be told.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Ooooooh only just found this thankyouuuuuu xxxxx

 

[PandoraGlitters]

There once was a lassie named Annie
whose ebullience was simply uncanny.
All her friends gathered round
to dust her off, sound
after giving her spanks on her fanny.

oh wait. Fanny means something different to you Brits, doesn't it?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Roflllllllll totally creased up here!! I remember sitting on an Italian cruise ship trying to explain to an Italian chap why 'we brits' were in stitches about a prize on some game of a 'fanny bag' and why NOT to use the word 'fanny' in England! Have you ever tried saying 'pussy' in English to an Ialian?!!!

 

[Tarakin]

Happy belated birthday,
bask in a beautiful sun-ray,
underyourspell,
my british belle,
best wishes from me all the way!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

There is this young (!) lady (?!) called Annie
With which ever end is her fanny
Her hair is so fair
And tied over a chair
Invites you to give her a whamee

 

[oggbashan]

Why are we creative people of Lit
So obsessed with writing about it?
Let's go out and and do:
I won't ask "With who?"
And then the readers might give a shit.

Og

 

[UnderYourSpell]

When a poet has lost his muse
By doing whatever abuse
He steps in for a natter
Just hoping the chatter
Will provide more rhythmical clues

 

[FifthFlower]

Though his girlfriend back home is so sweet,
In the dorm Tom is tempted to cheat,
And at parties he'll find
One or two who won't mind
A quick ride when they tease up his meat.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Ive just been taken to lunch
Wine and food I've had quite a bunch
But if you will dine me
You'll find that my hiney
Is asleep when it comes to the crunch

 

[FifthFlower]

Why are we creative people of Lit
So obsessed with writing about it?
Let's go out and and do:
I won't ask "With who?"
And then the readers might give a shit.

It is fun making up all this stuff,
And, as fantasy, it can get rough,
But the readers don't care.
Should you read it, don't dare
Acting out. Let the dream be enough.

 

[FifthFlower]

Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. It's true.
Your old friend...Oh!...Now what can I do?
But Bill lied when he said
I had many in bed.
Only him. Only once. I love you.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

If you think I believe that he said
That you didnt have many in bed
Then why have I found
Scattered around
A Dozen condoms coloured red

 

[FifthFlower]

Oh, those condoms. Well, what can I say?
There are many, I see. By the way,
Are you hungry tonight?
Would a steak be alright?
Let's forget that you saw these, OK?

 

[PandoraGlitters]

From the closet a man said "Ahem"
"Nice to meet you, Sir; they call me Clem.
Did I hear you say steak?
Will there also be cake?
I got hungry while polishing your gem!"

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Pearl dropped the pan with a clatter
Now his steak didnt seem to matter
From his breast to his willy
She'd covered poor Billy
With something much hotter and fatter

 

[FifthFlower]

When her man saw her other man's prick,
Boldly bare, proudly upright and thick,
He was shocked, and she said,
"He is better in bed."
Being better because of his dick.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I had always thought he said
That size didnt matter in bed
If you believe that youre silly
I like a big willy
Up me or just to give head.