Litmerick

[evelyn_carroll]

Here's the first part of one I posted on Lit. years ago. It violates the form by telling a story rather than being a self-contained jewel. If you want the rest, it's called Limerick Girl (indicating where she lived).

A well brought up girl named Colleen
Had a passion for Father O’Keene.
She’d kneel to his god
And imagine his rod
In her mouth, while she wanked off the Dean

But O’Keene, sure, was not to be swayed
From his vows by a frisky young maid.
The good man would not sin
With a pretty virgin;
T’was the choirboys he usually laid.

Interested to know what people think about the story issue.

 

[colddiesel]

I am reasonably certain that whilst this is an entertaining and well thought out story it may not receive the unreserved aproval from the Commission against Doctrinal error in the church. (The Commission chaired by the former Cardinal Ratzinger.)

 

[FifthFlower]

Father Joe was invited to stay
By my daddy who said, "He's OK."
Joe was sweet, and he did
Momma first, while I hid,
Then he found me and went all the way.

(There is a documentary Deliver Us from Evil on the subject that I found interesting. The limerick does not condone child abuse, but explains how I think it happens.)

 

[evelyn_carroll]

Jane was known for her catholic taste
(A good rhyme should ne’er go to waste);
With iambus and troch’
She eulogized Cock,
With each syllable carefully placed.

 

[FifthFlower]

Father Pete was incredibly good,
Worked so hard that my mom thought she would
Tease him briefly in play,
And got laid that same day.
Mom was glad, hoped that dad understood.

 

[RoniB]

shadow

 

[FifthFlower]

While our Pete's bowing low on his knees,
Praying hard, hoping God surely sees
He regrets what he's done,
He just wanted some fun,
A archangel responds to him, "Please!"

 

[evelyn_carroll]

And, of course, a perennial favourite...

...that fits well with this theme:

The Right Reverend Bishop of Birmingham
Would bugger young boys while confirming 'em;
He'd kneel on a hassock,
Then lift up the cassock
And pump his episcopal sperm in 'em.

Can't beat the classics, eh?

 

[WomanPariah]

distilled to its essence

 

[evelyn_carroll]

Sorry about the digression...

‘Now, Peter,’ the archangel said,
‘I hope that your pencil’s got lead.’
Pete weighed up his luck
All keen for a fuck,
But sadly his todger was dead!

 

[WomanPariah]

distilled to its essence

 

[evelyn_carroll]

So, to continue the theme

No problem. No offense taken. I'm just an undisciplined maverick.

Next verse.

‘A temporary problem,’ said he.
‘A few minutes over your knee,
‘a couple of spanks
‘and several quick wanks
‘will have me as hard as a tree.’

 

[FifthFlower]

Now that angel is cute and Pete sees,
If he's sweet, he could get her with ease.
So he sweet-talks a bit,
While he fingers her clit.
When she's done, she does him on her knees.

 

[Tarakin]

When she gave him an angelic blow
his dick did immediatly grow
and he did soon moan
being so skillfully blown
that his eyes had started to glow

 

[WomanPariah]

distilled to its essence

 

[evelyn_carroll]

The Count's coffin had never seemed finer
As he recalled her throbbing vagina.
More archangel fun
Must wait for the sun
To sink -- like a doomed ocean liner.

Needs a better last line methinks.

 

[FifthFlower]

"Yes, the sun loves to sink in the sea
Like this angel loves sinking for me
To her knees, down below,
She won't stop till I go...."
Then he came, and he came, merrily.

 

[evelyn_carroll]

The fallen archangel from Heaven
Could only remember eleven
Curses from God
(The bossy old sod).
Now it’s Paradise Tossed, so we’re even!

 

[FifthFlower]

All the curses that God could have made
Are quite small. There's a chance she'll get laid
With Pete pushing his dick,
Long and thick, a hard prick
That is coming to his angel's aid.

 

[evelyn_carroll]

The archangel from Paradise
Realized now why it was nice
To envelope Pete’s dick,
So long and so thick
While she tortured his bollocks with ice.

 

[FifthFlower]

"Ah, that ice feels so good," our Pete said,
Overheated, with her in his bed,
And he loves each surprise
In his angel's bright eyes
With the devil inside of her head.

 

[drown]

there once
was a board on the net
where the dry
were seduced to be wet...

though this took place
alone

or by luck
via phone...

for most,
it was still a good bet​

 

[UnderYourSpell]

All aboard who are cumming aboard
A duo, a threesome or foured
Just depends on your luck
How many you fuck
Whether sucking, on top or floored.

 

[evelyn_carroll]

there once
was a board on the net
where the dry
were seduced to be wet...

though this took place
alone

or by luck
via phone...

for most,
it was still a good bet​

There once was a net on the board
Where none who went to it were bored.
Have a quick read,
Give the clit a good knead,
It won't leave your passions ignored.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

If kinky is what floats yer boat
Then here's where to gather and gloat
Whether leather or chains
Or a whip for your pains
Get in here and give it a vote.