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[Angeline]

Well Now You've Gone and Done It

I've rarely met a woman who knew what she wanted before a man had the opportunity to tell her.


Alto, Alto, Alto. I'm a sweet girl. I really am. I tried to help you. I defended you. I even introduced you to my buddies in the stories room in chat. And no, I did not always answer questions like "What are you wearing tonight?" when you asked them because since, as I told you, I'm not in the market, it seems immaterial.

On the one hand I'm flattered because given your above post and the fact that you want to talk with me, you must think I'm one of the few women who knows what I want before you tell me.

So maybe you've met mostly women who are indecisive and you just need to meet more women who are sure of themselves. Do you really think that, in your quest to do so, you're going to find them by making a statement like the first one in your post. You're not. You're gonna piss them off. And even though you go on to make your point that you recognize you know nothing, I think people will have a hard time getting past that first statement. And why would you want to find a woman by playing devil's advocate? I'd rather talk to a guy who's sweet and has a sense of humor than argue. And, since we're on the devil's advocate thing here: If you think that everyone really knows nothing and most woman need a man to tell them what they want, doesn't that suggest that you think women are really dumb?

You should take Leslie's advice--it's good. I see Les in the stories room on occasion and he comes across as a very sexy man because he never patronizes woman though he makes it clear he really appreciates them. And TakingChances has the right idea, too (and his AV is very cute). Listen to them.

 

[takingchances42]

Alto, Alto, Alto...

I liked your last post. Once again, you were honest and direct, on your view of the world. Communication is a good thing. But you have now changed the thrust of your thread from trying to get a cyber partner, to an analysis of sexuality and gender differences.

Which means that your chances of getting cyber laid here likely just went down to close to zero. Overanalysis can be death when it comes to sexuality.

The truth (as I see it) is that if you look at the names many women choose in the chat area where Angeline and Leslie go, then quite a few of them (though not all) do want to explore their submissive and/or slutty sides. But they really, truly do not want to be psychoanalyzed as to why this is the case. They just want you to be a dominant bad boy and do it well. Which actually involves listening to them and their needs, very closely.

In my opinion, the sexiest thing you can do with a woman is not to tell her what she needs -- or to be her doormat. The sexiest thing you can do is to be a very good and interested, active listener. To be intrigued by her, draw her out, and find out what makes her unique and special. Not because you are trying to get laid and are playing a role -- but because you find her fascinating. And then it really doesn't matter whether you get laid or not. You've met someone special, and that is enough of a reward by itself.

I like your AV too, Angeline. Have I ever mentioned my fascination with sexy librarians?

 

[its Leslie]

You make to much sense 42, but then with that avatar I suppose you at least don't have guys looking at your ass heheh.

But beware, if you sound as smart as the average woman (or just sound smart in the first place) in places where you don't have that avatar, then your behind isn't safe heheh.

I changed to its Mr Leslie in chat because to many guys tried to date me in there heheh.

I really should get back into the chat a bit though, I miss the stories and authors mob (just been to fucking hot this summer, around 10PM my body has run out of energy afer dealing with the heat heheh). Heat has impeded my writing too, think though, I will be writing up a storm this winter though.

 

[Alto River]

Aw, for the love o'...

Well, it seems I've opened a can of worms again. That's ok. It's nice to see that there are still people out there who have a brain in their head and don't just shuffle along with the mob.

takingchances42: I think I appreciate your response to my last post more than anyone else's. You were more generous and forgiving. And made more sense. Still, you made the mistake that all the rest did -- that I actually believe women need men to tell them how to think. But I forgive you. I left the question wide open. And I meant to. Call it a curiosity. I don't really believe that chatting online or posting bulletins will ever make a drab of difference in my earnest pursuit of a perfect mate, (I'm not even sure I believe in such a thing -- I've had my heart broken a time or two); but I do want to know how many women out there get angry enough to actually take issue with such an idea. It appears about two per day. Anyway, I think you recognize that this whole thread has been kind of tongue in cheek for me, from the beginning, and I think because of that, you cut me a little slack. Thanks.

To all: A female friend and I were once having a conversation and I made the comment I made in the above post, that women don't know what they want until a man tells them. I immediately believed it was a stupid comment, but I was surprised when she said there was probably a lot of truth to it. This was no dumb girl -- my friend -- and although I still don't know why she agreed with me that once, it has given me a lot of opportunity for thought.

I believe, given that the statement might be said to contain some truth, it follows that the same can be said of men: that men don't know what they want until a woman tells them. Which, to my mind, raises all sorts of interesting questions about sexuality, gender, and the roles we adopt and play, willingly or unwillingly, knowingly or otherwise. How many times, for example, have you had an idea of what you liked in a friend or mate, and what you didn't like, when suddenly someone came along who forced you to rethink your assumptions? How many times have we all stood hard by our convictions, when, to our relief, someone was able to come along and change our minds completely? Maybe I should broaden the statement, to say: "Love doesn't know what it wants until Love has the opportunity to inform it."

Which brings me back to you, Leslie: I think approaching a relationship with the idea of simply giving the other person what they want, in hopes of getting "whatever" for yourself in return... is morbidly depraved. I look for the person who makes me want to give of myself, with no thought of compensation. That's a friendship. That is genuine. Nothing Less.

Mind you, I'm not saying that you are morbidly depraved. I just think that you are repeating an old and faulty argument. I personally don't know the first thing about you. I hope -- for the same reason -- that the people in this forum don't come to any uninformed conclusions about me...because I'd like to continue spending time here without having to constantly defend myself against personal attacks. But if making flat generalizations -- whether in jest, or not -- is cause for reproach, then I think you've got yours coming. Just look back over the posts you've made in this thread. You jump to conclusions about me, and make no mistake. And, yes, I do begin to resent it. I especially dislike being marginalized by someone who's in it for nothing more than trivial recreation. Why so critical? What have you got to hide?

 

[wildsweetone]

ahhhh the love bug...

it's interesting when discussions arise on the topics of lust and love, we find all manner of comments thrown into the ring.

unconditional love - the act of giving totally of oneself to another, mind, body and soul; the act of standing truely naked in front of another.

 

[its Leslie]

Everyone has a price Alto, I just don't care to haggle when its for sex heheh.

I have no problem with over kill. Give a woman what she wants, give it to her in spades, do it for weeks, let her see that it isn't some wierd joke, let her know you would like something in return, try to keep it reasonable, that is basically all it is.

Some call me shallow, some are just nervous about being honest to themselves though. I don't hide behind fuzzies feelings.

When couples no longer wish to freely do things for each other it's over plain and simple.

If you want to wake to your sexy nighty clad wife mumbling good morning dear (mumbled because she has your stiffening cock in her mouth), you had best be prepared to find out what it is that she would desire enough to do that one thing.

Otherwise your wife wakes and does none of the above (well she might say good morning).

Most women default to a small selection of choices, but every woman is also a person too.

Women can be just as capable of being disinterested in giving a damn, as much as men of course. I have met women that were useless at meeting the reasonable demands of their spouses too.

 

[Angeline]

Ok here's my point again

it was not about the content of your post because after making what i see as an inflamatory statement, you went on to put it in perspective. My point was about the form of your response, and my opinion that people would jump on that first comment and not see past it. However, I don't think that any one other person holds the key to what an individual wants no matter how you break it out: gender, age whatever other than that we learn from each others differences. That's why communication is critical, as well as an understanding that only an individual can determine for him or herself what is really wanted.

And I still say you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.