my cock is so big...

[silverwhisper]

...it doubles as an emergency landing strip.
...it's been known to form black holes.
...creating a condom for it would require massive increases in latex production.

ed

 

[phoenix1224]

...that when I went to the doctor for a vesectomy, Green Peace was picketing outside with signs saying "Save the Trees".

 

[silverwhisper]

ROFL!

my cock is so big, when i get in the car, i have to guide it out the trunk and have someone else tie a brightly-colored cloth to the end.

ed

 

[HandFan]

...it's the nemesis in the next Godzilla picture.

I can't tell you how much the tears were squirting from my eyes on that one!

His cock is so big.....

...while he was out of the country, it proposed marriage to me.
...he can help me stir the cake batter in the kitchen while he's mowing the yard.
...we can use it to hang the Christmas star on the tree.
...neighborhood firemen use it instead of a ladder to rescue cats out of trees.
...when he's out of town, he can still give me a morning quickie.
...when he plays pool, he never needs a poolstick.
...police show up on our doorstep with complaints from the neighbors two block down, that they can see us having sex in our back yard from their house.

 

[silverwhisper]

...when he appears on letterman, i can watch at home. in jersey.

ed

 

[bobsgirl]

...It needs its own shopping cart at Wal-Mart.

 

[EJFan]

... there's a crane parked in my yard so that when i have to piss i toss my penis through the sun roof in my bathroom and drape the shaft over the crane's hook to keep it from sitting in the toilet.

... same premise but substitute "team of firefighters" for "crane"

 

[Quoll]

...it was on first name terms with Sir Edmund Hillary.

 

[midwestyankee]

Eilan just PMed me that it was messing up her kids' snowman and all I did was twist around a bit in my desk chair.

Then the little rugrats put a scarf and tophat on it and stuck a carrot in the slit!

 

[silverwhisper]

...i can use it to crush my enemies, drive them before me and hear the lamentations of their women!

(with apologies to robert e. howard)

ed

 

[Eilan]

Eilan just PMed me that it was messing up her kids' snowman and all I did was twist around a bit in my desk chair.

Then the little rugrats put a scarf and tophat on it and stuck a carrot in the slit!

 

[midwestyankee]

May I quote you?



Guess I already did - that was my cock typing that.....sorry.

 

[midwestyankee]

With a tip of the cap to Scalywag....



NASA used it instead of a clay model when building the Saturn V rocket for the moon landings program.

 

[Guest]

 

[midwestyankee]

And I'm sure you mean it was a full scale equivalent, not a scaled down version.

That's right....the Saturn V was a scale model.

 

[bobsgirl]

...It was used to tether the astronaut to the mothership during space walks. And I was still sitting in my living room.

 

[Quoll]

I don't have a vas deferens or a urethra, I have a subway system.

 

[Lyrical Fool]

Late to the thread, but just wanted to say, quoll, your Elk-911 call had me laughing so hard I was hurting.

Admirable!

 

[carmag99]

My cock is SOOOO Big

It can be seen from orbit

 

[midwestyankee]

My semen are the size of seamen.

 

[bobsgirl]

My semen are the size of seamen.

Ooh, I bet they're cute when they all line up and salute!

 

[silverwhisper]

gives new meaning to "dress whites"...

ed

 

[Octavian]

mine is so big....

it's like I've got a third little finger.

 

[Râleclins]

... I ejaculate sperm whales.

 

[midwestyankee]

Ooh, I bet they're cute when they all line up and salute!

Cracking up at memories of the Woody Allen movie, "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex....But Were Afraid to Ask."