my cock is so big...

[EJFan]

... if only i'd been there to piss on the hindenburg...

 

[bobsgirl]

Cracking up at memories of the Woody Allen movie, "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex....But Were Afraid to Ask."

OMG, I had forgotten about that! Hilarious!

 

[silverwhisper]

râleclins quoth
i ejaculate sperm whales.

i really like that one. :>

my cock is so big, the japanese weather service keeps tabs on it to issue tsunami warnings.

ed

 

[TBKahuna123]

My cock is so big...

...it only refers to itself in the 3rd person. (ie: Sorry kid, My Cock doesn't sign autographs. )
...Trojan custom made a tinted condom, because it retuses to go anywhere without wearing shades.
...it WAS the red carpet at Sundance.
...it made the Washington Monument jealous.
...it made the Staue of liberty smile, if you know what My Cock means.

 

[rozweb]

...that the QEII used it for the design of their rudder
...It takes so much blood to prime it that I black out
...I could use it to win the Aussie open(Tennis) from the third row left side

 

[silverwhisper]

...i've had to re-do the bathroom b/c when i perform my morning ritual, the kick knocks me through the wall!

ed

 

[midwestyankee]

...i've had to re-do the bathroom b/c when i perform my morning ritual, the kick knocks me through the wall!

ed

Can you do mine while you're at it? I have to drape a shower curtain strategically during my "morning ritual" or the acidity in the output will eat away an entire wall of tile grout each time. I have two walls that need to be repaired for the third time this year already.

 

[silverwhisper]

[chuckles]

nice!

[gets grout]

ed

 

[silverwhisper]

...that i've gotten repetitive motion stress injuries from signing all his fanmail.

ed

 

[jadefirefly]

...that i've gotten repetitive motion stress injuries from signing all his fanmail.

ed

*laugh*

I -love- that one!!!

 

[silverwhisper]

[bows]

all part of the service. :>

my cock is so big...

...it has a list of contractual demands for public appearances.
...i've hired bodyguards to keep it safe when out in public.
...i get his sloppy seconds.

ed

 

[jadefirefly]

...it has a list of contractual demands for public appearances.

Does it make outrageous demands when it stays in swanky hotels, like spoiled celebs?

 

[silverwhisper]

i can neither confirm nor deny any reports as to any alleged "massive" room damage at the bellagio.

[/deadpan]

ed

 

[jadefirefly]

[conspiratorial_gossip]

I heard the first cleaning crew they sent in there got lost for three weeks. They had to send in a team in wetsuits and scuba gear!

 

[silverwhisper]

doesn't that belong in the "my pussy is so deep" thread? ;>

ed

 

[jadefirefly]

Maybe...

Maybe not...

That all depends on how you read it.

(Besides, I think something similar's already been done over there. And they're not really keeping up on it, either. This thread's funnier. )

 

[silverwhisper]

you know, i just don't feel right contributing to that thread. call it liberal guilt...

[sighs]

my cock is so big, it keeps down the man!

ed

 

[jadefirefly]

*laughs*

Don't feel bad, I don't really contribute to either one. I just ask silly questions.

 

[silverwhisper]

aw, c'mon, i'm sure you've got one or two good "my cock is so big" comments.

[nudges jadedfirefly]

ed

 

[silverwhisper]

...all your base are belong to him!

ed

 

[jadefirefly]

aw, c'mon, i'm sure you've got one or two good "my cock is so big" comments.

[nudges jadedfirefly]

ed

But I haven't -got- one!

(And it's Jade. One 'd'. Although I've considered, numerous times just changing it to jaded, since I think you are about the 10th person on here to make that mistake. It'd be easier! )

 

[silverwhisper]

oops, sorry! i'll try to keep it straight.

[trout-smacks self]

and i'm sure that given a little more time, you'll come up w/ one soon. :>

ed

 

[TBKahuna123]

...all your base are belong to him!

ed

Very well done!

 

[Quoll]

My cock is so big...

it has a contract with Durkee-Mower for cleanups.

 

[TBKahuna123]

My cock is so big...

...It's going to be gold plated and standing opposite the big Oscar statue on the red carpet oustide next month's Academy Awards.