My first thread here

[Tawny_Temptress]

Ok, thank you for that

YW!

 

[shy slave]

Hi Tawny,

We haven't spoken before, but I used to be around a fair bit and now, hopefully, I am back.

Anyway I have read the thread and thought about it.

Thought I would add my thoughts into the mix. If it comes across as a lecture it is not intended that way, but sometimes it is the way I write without meaning too.
Damned if I know how to change it though!

You seem like a bright woman, and it can hurt like crazy when we are fooled. Immediately afterwards when it still hurts and we are still stunned, it seems as though it is not just an emotional thing; but we sit back and think 'How did he do that to me?'

The pie comment summed it up for me, your bright, clever and articulate, and he ignored all of that through one small action.
How did he do it? because he knew how to appeal to your better nature.

Sometimes it seems that the brightest of subs get swept up in a situation, because somehow we either never think it will happen, or never happen to us.

One thing I liked about your vent, not once did it come across as 'poor me.' You came across as a woman stunned by his actions, and each post made seemed to be a dawning of her own understanding of why she allowed him to do that.

Next time, yes I really did say next time, you will be aware of how someone can do such things, because they know how you tick, thanks to him, you now know you tick too.

ES gives a really positive view of the ever unpopular 'how to be with someone who is married.'
She shows that things are possible, which is great if that is what you want; but next time you get involved with anyone, you will be more aware of who you are. That means next your choices of how and what happens, are more informed.

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

Hi Tawny,

We haven't spoken before, but I used to be around a fair bit and now, hopefully, I am back.

Anyway I have read the thread and thought about it.

Thought I would add my thoughts into the mix. If it comes across as a lecture it is not intended that way, but sometimes it is the way I write without meaning too.
Damned if I know how to change it though!

You seem like a bright woman, and it can hurt like crazy when we are fooled. Immediately afterwards when it still hurts and we are still stunned, it seems as though it is not just an emotional thing; but we sit back and think 'How did he do that to me?'

The pie comment summed it up for me, your bright, clever and articulate, and he ignored all of that through one small action.
How did he do it? because he knew how to appeal to your better nature.

Sometimes it seems that the brightest of subs get swept up in a situation, because somehow we either never think it will happen, or never happen to us.

One thing I liked about your vent, not once did it come across as 'poor me.' You came across as a woman stunned by his actions, and each post made seemed to be a dawning of her own understanding of why she allowed him to do that.

Next time, yes I really did say next time, you will be aware of how someone can do such things, because they know how you tick, thanks to him, you now know you tick too.

ES gives a really positive view of the ever unpopular 'how to be with someone who is married.'
She shows that things are possible, which is great if that is what you want; but next time you get involved with anyone, you will be more aware of who you are. That means next your choices of how and what happens, are more informed.

It doesnt seem like a lecture. I realized many things about myself during this 'drama'. He did many inconsiderate things over time but I am the one who allowed it to continue. It is my fault that all of this continued for so long. The pie thing may sound small but it was the last straw for me. Especially when the first thing he asked me thereafter was what I was wearing.


The hurt I felt over the way the relationship was going/ending just stopped almost instantly when he still tried to justify everything he did and/or blame everything on me and inevitably it was my fault for being stupid enough to fall for it for over a year and a half. Even during real life relationships. So, it may just seem like it was a silly cyber relationship but there was a lot of time and energy invested over a long time and if a few things had gone differently, I would have spent a few days with him on a business trip last month. Thank God it did pan out!

 

[Tease_U]

Yes he went to get pie, without saying he was leaving the computer when we were having a convo. It is just the lack of consideration. Yes it was dramatic and I wasted almost 2 years on this 'man'. There is lots more he did but it doesnt matter any more. He doesnt matter any more. It stopped being fun long ago.

I dont want any more cyber buddies. I will stick to real life.

I wonder if he feels the same way that he wasted time as well??

Sounds like you both were not not on the same page......how much energy can one spend on a on line realationship?

If it stoped being fun long time ago why would you consider going on a buisness trip a month ago with him as you posted in one of your posts. I think maybe some times we mix real life with on line life.


Hope you are more successful in real life.......are you?

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

I wonder if he feels the same way that he wasted time as well??

Sounds like you both were not not on the same page......how much energy can one spend on a on line realationship?

If it stoped being fun long time ago why would you consider going on a buisness trip a month ago with him as you posted in one of your posts. I think maybe some times we mix real life with on line life.


Hope you are more successful in real life.......are you?

How much time can you spend on an online relationship? Months, talking on the phone, daily, sometimes more than that. That, IMHO, is a lot of time.

I really havent tried a lot in real life. I was ending one when I met him and then had a pal/fuck buddy for a bit but it wasnt anything but friendship. I was in a relationship for years I didnt want to be in before I met him and havent been interested in getting involved in anything but passing fun for a while.

I stopped considering the business trip before the time came to go on the trip.

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

I tend to just keep telling guys what I dont like about the relatioship but stay in it, if I care, and keep giving them 'chances'. Then after a while it gets old and I leave. It isnt hard to end the couple part of the relationship for me. It is the friendship I find hard to end and most times one goes when the other does.

 

[satindesire]

I wonder if he feels the same way that he wasted time as well??

Sounds like you both were not not on the same page......how much energy can one spend on a on line realationship?

If it stoped being fun long time ago why would you consider going on a buisness trip a month ago with him as you posted in one of your posts. I think maybe some times we mix real life with on line life.


Hope you are more successful in real life.......are you?

Ever considered not being so cold and sarcastic to someone who actually might need a little bit of human compassion?

 

[Tease_U]

Ever considered not being so cold and sarcastic to someone who actually might need a little bit of human compassion?

Was not being inconsiderate or cold just was posting some coments to her thread.

There is always two sides to a story.....but this is tawny's thread so she can post what she wants.

Are you giving her that compassion?????

Burt thanks for your concern

 

[Tease_U]

How much time can you spend on an online relationship? Months, talking on the phone, daily, sometimes more than that. That, IMHO, is a lot of time.

I really havent tried a lot in real life. I was ending one when I met him and then had a pal/fuck buddy for a bit but it wasnt anything but friendship. I was in a relationship for years I didnt want to be in before I met him and havent been interested in getting involved in anything but passing fun for a while.

I stopped considering the business trip before the time came to go on the trip.

Not trying to be rude was just reading and posting there is always two sides.....but after all this is your thread.

ps If you ever want to talk pm me I know we never have.

Good Luck

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

Not trying to be rude was just reading and posting there is always two sides.....but after all this is your thread.

ps If you ever want to talk pm me I know we never have.

Good Luck

No, you were being judgmental. The eye roll smilieys and the sarcasm showed that real well.

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

Ever considered not being so cold and sarcastic to someone who actually might need a little bit of human compassion?

TY! I made this thread, initially, to vent, without running into so much judgment. I had been hanging around this portion of lit some and though that this was the best place for that, considering how a lot of people judge the DOM/sub lifestyles.

 

[satindesire]

Was not being inconsiderate or cold just was posting some coments to her thread.

There is always two sides to a story.....but this is tawny's thread so she can post what she wants.

Are you giving her that compassion?????

Burt thanks for your concern

Uhm....yeah. Yeah, you were. The rolling eyes constantly in all your nasty little posts denotes sarcasm. You should know better than to act like you've never had your heart broken. How would you feel if.....you know what? You wouldn't get it, so never mind. Just forget I even tried to offer you a way off your high horse and forget I ever posted to you.

In short....You're being a jerk, so cut it out.

TY! I made this thread, initially, to vent, without running into so much judgment. I had been hanging around this portion of lit some and though that this was the best place for that, considering how a lot of people judge the DOM/sub lifestyles.

I completely understand exactly how you feel. Everyone on this board has been taken advantage of and hurt before in their lives, it happens to the best of us. You need support, we're here to listen.

......well, at least most of us are.

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

Uhm....yeah. Yeah, you were. The rolling eyes constantly in all your nasty little posts denotes sarcasm. You should know better than to act like you've never had your heart broken. How would you feel if.....you know what? You wouldn't get it, so never mind. Just forget I even tried to offer you a way off your high horse and forget I ever posted to you.

In short....You're being a jerk, so cut it out.



I completely understand exactly how you feel. Everyone on this board has been taken advantage of and hurt before in their lives, it happens to the best of us. You need support, we're here to listen.

......well, at least most of us are.

Thanks! I appreciate it.

 

[shy slave]

When I first came to BDSM (only a few yrs ago) I was in an online relationship with someone here.

He has long since left, and I doubt anyone was aware he and I had a relationship, but I invested time, emotion and constant thought into it.

I believe that he also did that, it fell apart when I wanted to meet.

He was married and I knew that, but I had thought at some point we may meet, not to play, but to say hello.

Until I asked, I never knew he had a different view of it.

As I recall it sort of drifted away, but I felt emotionally exhausted by that point. Once over, I missed thinking of him if that makes sense; having spent hours at a time with him in the corner of my mind, it was a loss; like grieving, but not.

Yes, I can understand so much is invested, but now know that time invested in rl, is more complex but better for my sanity.

 

[JMohegan]

April 29th:

I made this thread to see how it "sounded" to someone besides us.

Today:

I made this thread, initially, to vent, without running into so much judgment.

Regardless of which of the above statements is correct, you should know that the point of Talk threads is usually considered to be discussion, as in: an exchange of ideas involving occasionally disparate views.

If you are interested in venting without reading negative opinions in response to whatever you've written, this is a poor choice for an outlet.

I used to be around a fair bit and now, hopefully, I am back.

*grins*

Nice to see you back, Shy. Hope you're doing well.

 

[kiss_of_sin]

i completely agree with shy, it was very well put.

and venting is good, and hearing other opinions on the subject is a great way to look at the situation objectively, and unemotionally. which sounds like it is needed. that, and some reinforcement He was wrong.

but really, TT, f*ck everyone else. its YOU you need to take care of, YOU you need to think of first, YOUR emotions, thoughts, judgement. becuase its YOUR heart that was broken. do you first, and then the rest will fall into place.

we have all experienced this pain, some more times than others, and the best thing to do, is forgive and forget. dont hold grudges becuase then the next man will have to pay for His mistakes. let it go.

ellie.

 

[Tease_U]

Uhm....yeah. Yeah, you were. The rolling eyes constantly in all your nasty little posts denotes sarcasm. You should know better than to act like you've never had your heart broken. How would you feel if.....you know what? You wouldn't get it, so never mind. Just forget I even tried to offer you a way off your high horse and forget I ever posted to you.

In short....You're being a jerk, so cut it out.





I completely understand exactly how you feel. Everyone on this board has been taken advantage of and hurt before in their lives, it happens to the best of us. You need support, we're here to listen.

......well, at least most of us are.

It is funny how some one can read so much into a "smiley" and you know nothing of me so how do you know if my heart has been broken or not? But I guess at age of 24 you have experinced so much so I won't take offense to your imature comments. Besides the posts were not to you but you seem to think you had to add your comments....wondering who realy is on a "high horse"

 

[Tease_U]

No, you were being judgmental. The eye roll smilieys and the sarcasm showed that real well.

Seems everyone here is being judmental ....but then this is LIT!

 

[satindesire]

It is funny how some one can read so much into a "smiley" and you know nothing of me so how do you know if my heart has been broken or not? But I guess at age of 24 you have experinced so much so I won't take offense to your imature comments. Besides the posts were not to you but you seem to think you had to add your comments....wondering who realy is on a "high horse"

None of TT's beginning posts were to you either, but you added YOUR comments. She only posted to you after you got nasty.

And she seemed to think you were just as judgmental as I did.

I think what's really going on here is the fact that you got called out on being a prick and you don't want to apologize.

That's okay, my ignore list will make sure you don't ever have to.

 

[xander1083]

In that case I would immediately dump that person who never give importance to me.

 

[MisterSir]

It is funny how some one can read so much into a "smiley" and you know nothing of me so how do you know if my heart has been broken or not? But I guess at age of 24 you have experinced so much so I won't take offense to your imature comments. Besides the posts were not to you but you seem to think you had to add your comments....wondering who realy is on a "high horse"

Probably a dwarf. Seriously, can you imagine? It'd be like one of us riding a horse with eight-foot-long legs, that'd be fucking scary.

Also, piss off and annoy somebody else. I hear the General Board is looking for a new troll to join the "Obama Got Elected Cause He's Black" campaign.

 

[minx1]

Yes he went to get pie, without saying he was leaving the computer when we were having a convo. It is just the lack of consideration. Yes it was dramatic and I wasted almost 2 years on this 'man'. There is lots more he did but it doesnt matter any more. He doesnt matter any more. It stopped being fun long ago.

I dont want any more cyber buddies. I will stick to real life.

I think thats one of the worst feelings isn't it. That you have invested valuable time and emotion in someone who basically doesn't return the favour or doesn't deserve it.

I hope you are feeling better about the situation. I really empathise.

I am having the same feelings myself.

Yours doesn't live in Australia does he?! lol

 

[Richief121]

well tawny im stuck with the same problem she wont answer any calls from me makes me feel so rejected and worthless