new poems

[echoes_s]

Thanks for the mention Liar.
Thank you for your kind comments Jim. If it wasn't for you and your help, the poem wouldn't be here nor a poem.

 

[annaswirls]

Thanks Liar for your mention of my poem, um I think it was called Held over Water (I can never think of titles and usually type something into the box at the last minute.)

It was originally supposed to be called
they buried pluto today
a seemingly hilarious but actually tragic announcement a friend gave me which inspired the Sky Ride poem!

poor pluto

damn whatta way to go

 

[thenry]

Did they? He follows the example of some other regulars here. Experience suggests that he'll be back. Just the odds, but who knows.

I would like to agree. He appears to have put a great deal of effort into disappearing for too little an overt reason (inadequate ability to express himself in posts: simply html code or something else). Still, he left me a complimentary public comment I felt I did not deserve. I wanted to leave a comment on his most recent and found it no longer present.

 

[Icingsugar]

I would like to agree. He appears to have put a great deal of effort into disappearing for too little an overt reason (inadequate ability to express himself in posts: simply html code or something else). Still, he left me a complimentary public comment I felt I did not deserve. I wanted to leave a comment on his most recent and found it no longer present.

Well, let's hope he finds himself back here. He is too good a chap for this place to be beaten by a machine. Maybe it's just me, who have been hammering mere monospace text on BBS-es and Usenet for years, but I can't find confined technical environemts a reason for annoyance anymore. Compared to that, this is a canvas.

/Ice

ps. Liar, thanks for the mention. Good of you to do the retroactive boogie when the Saturday reviewer had business elsewhere.

 

[WickedEve]

I suppose I'm one regular member on the poetry forum who has been here the longest, so I will say, with confidence, that Rybka is not in the habit of pulling his work and just stomping off. Maybe he has lit burn out. It happens. Rybka, I hope you take a break and reconsider.

Senna never leaves anon feedback, unless it's by mistake. I actually like receiving S.J.'s feedback. It can be brutal but it certainly gives one something to ponder.

Angeline isn't that sweet and she wears granny panties.

Lauren is really a 91 year-old man living in Tennessee.

There are many new poets on the board now, and it seems many of you are joining our regular group and ready to hang out here for awhile. Over time, you'll see a few of us get fed up and leave, and we do occasionally argue, but for the most part we're about friendship and poetry. (Oh, that last part was a bit sappy.)

 

[Angeline]

I suppose I'm one regular member on the poetry forum who has been here the longest, so I will say, with confidence, that Rybka is not in the habit of pulling his work and just stomping off. Maybe he has lit burn out. It happens. Rybka, I hope you take a break and reconsider.

Senna never leaves anon feedback, unless it's by mistake. I actually like receiving S.J.'s feedback. It can be brutal but it certainly gives one something to ponder.

Angeline isn't that sweet and she wears granny panties.

Lauren is really a 91 year-old man living in Tennessee.

There are many new poets on the board now, and it seems many of you are joining our regular group and ready to hang out here for awhile. Over time, you'll see a few of us get fed up and leave, and we do occasionally argue, but for the most part we're about friendship and poetry. (Oh, that last part was a bit sappy.)

I'm here for the oiled up male bodies.


Also I heard there was free coffee.


And they're day-of-the-week granny panties.....

 

[RazzRajen]

I'm here for the oiled up male bodies.


Also I heard there was free coffee.


And they're day-of-the-week granny panties.....

Eve - agree with what you said - well mostly....

and Angeline.....

We are supposed to use oil?!!??? Dang no one told Me....

Darjeeling tea imbiber here.....

And I never wear panties..... in fact I wear pretty damn little....Scratches , going off in search of His lungi....


Razz

 

[annaswirls]

I suppose I'm one regular member on the poetry forum who has been here the longest, so I will say, with confidence, that Rybka is not in the habit of pulling his work and just stomping off. Maybe he has lit burn out. It happens. Rybka, I hope you take a break and reconsider.

Senna never leaves anon feedback, unless it's by mistake. I actually like receiving S.J.'s feedback. It can be brutal but it certainly gives one something to ponder.

Angeline isn't that sweet and she wears granny panties.

Lauren is really a 91 year-old man living in Tennessee.

There are many new poets on the board now, and it seems many of you are joining our regular group and ready to hang out here for awhile. Over time, you'll see a few of us get fed up and leave, and we do occasionally argue, but for the most part we're about friendship and poetry. (Oh, that last part was a bit sappy.)

I like Senna's feedback too, can either be humorous (as in, um, dude whattrya talkin about, don't take this so seriously, I am trying to have a little fun and this is lit)

or helpful-- I have edited many poems and made them better (not outstanding or anything, but better.)

I guess when we click that little button that says we accept public comment we have to remember what it means:

Turn On

Public

Comment

But you are right, Eve, SJ's comments always make me ponder one thing or another, often times the other.


Anna

 

[Angeline]

Eve - agree with what you said - well mostly....

and Angeline.....

We are supposed to use oil?!!??? Dang no one told Me....

Darjeeling tea imbiber here.....

And I never wear panties..... in fact I wear pretty damn little....Scratches , going off in search of His lungi....


Razz

Well you just made me snort my coffee from laughing,

I guess I'll have to stop picturing you in that frilly thong, lol. (And put some clothes on man--good grief it's February!)

Oh and oil? Absolutement! Eve and I will be opening an oil stand in another thread. 10-40W? You need windshield washer with that?

 

[Angeline]

Gosh!

Razz's post made me start laughing and I forgot why I came here in the first place.

I was reading the poems posted yesterday, and have to recommend steve porter's this is the song of light. It's sort of a nod to Walt Whitman, and it has the most stunning sensual imagery, like this~

i sing of eyelids and light sockets
of filaments and firmaments and
of moonbeams and sunshadows
and flickering fireflies that signal
the urgency of finding a mate

I think it's just beautiful. Please have a look if you've not yet done so. Steve is one of Lit's best poets, and this effort is a delightful example of his talents.


Ange

 

[Maria2394]

...

 

[mojo_cat]

Okay, then

I've received a large amount of negative feedback from my review Sunday, and I'd like to reiterate two things:

1. I wasn't calling anyone a coward; those are SJ's words, not mine, and I've apologized to him for my joke. I guess my humour is in bad taste; it was, in the end, a poor decision on my part.

2. As it seems that I have also received a rush of anonymous negative feedback and one's, I've decided I don't have the "right stuff" to do this. I started at Lit because it was the only place I could find online to publish poetry, mostly to keep it off my hard drive and see what others thought, since I feel my poetry is pretty lame and I'd been trying to decide whether or not to give up on it entirely.

Rybka got me in here with a lovely comment; and I see a great, thriving community of ten or twelve people who are generally very welcoming and encouraging of new work. It seems to me that the best thing to do is bow out here and not bother anyone anymore. I have a lot of crap going in IRL, and I couldn't sleep for quite some time last night mulling over the response I received and the emotional impact it had on me. That's not something I need right now, what with going back to school and dealing with my recent diagnosis for a neato-keen personality disorder that I didn't know I had.

I just wanted to say thank you to all the people who supported and encouraged me in my year here at Lit, and fuck you to the people who endeavoured to make me feel unwelcome and intrusive. (This relates mostly to the huge amount of emailed anonymous feedback I received yesterday and today, not to this thread per se.)

I wish you all the best of luck in your careers as poets and thinkers, and thank you again for all the good rapport you have extended me. It has been mostly a pleasure to be here, and I will miss it.

to the anonymous person, in the words of ee cummings:

"there is some shit I will not eat."

Good luck to you all!

 

[jthserra]

Wow... I think I will discuss the new poems

for Monday. There are a number of thank yous I need to mention, but I'll do that after my reviews.

I guess Monday is Audio Poem day. The poems collect over a week or two and on the weekend they get processed and suddenly appear. Fortunately the dink poet jthserra only barraged me with one audio poem.

The best text of the audio poems was presented by Palau with Nothing New . The audio quality was kind of bad, distracting from the poem a bit. Read the text first, then listen.

CrimsonMaiden brought a number of audio poems, several cinquains and a couple of sonnets. She is working a number of forms as she spreads her wings poetically. My favorite of her poems today, and the best sounding of the audio poems (her voice is something) is Passion . Listen to a few of her poems, comment and vote.

Oxalis blew me away with an incredible poem, better than a barrel of monkeys . Please forgive my cliche and look at some of his poem:

"plundered, raped
casino rich and porky
glitter fitzgivings
arms full of lady

raped by self
laying alone in id
having self
swimming away
by way of
conspicuous accoutrements
conspicuous accoutrements"

Conspicuous indeed. Read the entire poem, vote and comment.


Today brought a new poet to lit with six poems. Syana has some nice moments in the poems... my favorite was Illusion

Sibilaire is another new poet here. While I liked some of her other poems a bit better, her hard and soft of you is still very good, deserving mention today. She has a total of 4 poems posted at lit, read them all, you will enjoy each one.


Annaswirls continues to amaze me with her poetry... Gideon Hides is another gem. Fasten your seatbelts and read it. Then vote and comment.


And I will close with my favorite of the day... without a doubt one of the stellar poets of Literotica... Angeline nods to us with Now Yes .

"susan black-eyed arches plain
sunny strength to early blues
reaching cloudless yielding gold
clear lidded gusting unswerving
yes"

Read this beautiful poem now.


After several Mondays with nearly 60 poems to review, today featured a calm 32 or so. The above selections were the ones that grabbed my attention. Go read all the new poems and find a few gems that I may have missed. Read, vote and comment...

Until next Monday, lets be careful out there poets...

jim

 

[oxalis]

thank you, Jim

I am very happy that you enjoyed my poem. It was an interesting experience finding it under my moldy thoughts and wrestling to the ground, cold and damp

 

[jthserra]

Re: Re: Friday Feb 20

I think that Jim's poem isn't getting the review it deserves. At first, I halted and thought, "Eh, well..." but then I got to thinking and reading more into the poem (maybe more than I should have but I couldn't resist). My thought is that this is a poem that has more depth than a lay person can figure out. Thanks, again Jim.

I want to thank you champagne for reading my poem and caring enough to comment accordingly. And thank you Icing for the initial mention in your new poems review.

The poem was my poem from hell... literally.


I had a hard time really grabbing that line and working with it. I kept wanting to break it up, but decided not to, well kind of. Writing it as a roundel let me break up the line and use the first half of it as a refrain. And lazy me had three lines in the poem without doing a thing.

With those lines, I had line one and the refrain. I also had the rhyme for the poem defined, alternating off of years and eyes. The potential rhymes got me thinking the night was bad, the day had to be worse... burning, and about halfway into the poem I decided I was going to write from Hell.

Beyond the fiery images and the possible respite in dreams, I didn't plan for a religious conotation until I got midway through the middle stanza. Looking ahead for rhymes, I found apostatize, and then the religious element appeared. "He" is Jesus or God, or the supreme being to whom I had renounced my faith to... something that is recalled again and again in my 10,000 year long dreams, something I long to have cauterized from my brain during the day... but each night the memory of my apostasy
returns. I guess that would be worse than the fire, the memory of what damned you to begin with.

Anyway, that is what I finally ended up with in the poem. I am not sure if you were looking deeper than that, but that is where I went with it.

Again Champange thank you for looking so deeply into the poem and I am sorry if it caused you any grief when another person here nominated it for the Pulitzer. I felt special for a bit... but then it fizzled.

And thanks to everyone else who spoke up.

jim

 

[Guest]

Thank you Jim for the mention and for comment about my voice. Anon really slammed me today shortly after they were posted saying my voice was horrible, scary, and sounded like cardboard. Anon took the time to slam all of them. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave pcs for all of them.

 

[HomerPindar]

Re: Re: Re: Friday Feb 20

now THAT'S an impact. While I certainly didn't intend to send anyone to hell with my challenge, I am grateful you felt it worth going there for.

I want to thank you champagne for reading my poem and caring enough to comment accordingly. And thank you Icing for the initial mention in your new poems review.

The poem was my poem from hell... literally.


I had a hard time really grabbing that line and working with it. I kept wanting to break it up, but decided not to, well kind of. Writing it as a roundel let me break up the line and use the first half of it as a refrain. And lazy me had three lines in the poem without doing a thing.

With those lines, I had line one and the refrain. I also had the rhyme for the poem defined, alternating off of years and eyes. The potential rhymes got me thinking the night was bad, the day had to be worse... burning, and about halfway into the poem I decided I was going to write from Hell.

Beyond the fiery images and the possible respite in dreams, I didn't plan for a religious conotation until I got midway through the middle stanza. Looking ahead for rhymes, I found apostatize, and then the religious element appeared. "He" is Jesus or God, or the supreme being to whom I had renounced my faith to... something that is recalled again and again in my 10,000 year long dreams, something I long to have cauterized from my brain during the day... but each night the memory of my apostasy
returns. I guess that would be worse than the fire, the memory of what damned you to begin with.

Anyway, that is what I finally ended up with in the poem. I am not sure if you were looking deeper than that, but that is where I went with it.

Again Champange thank you for looking so deeply into the poem and I am sorry if it caused you any grief when another person here nominated it for the Pulitzer. I felt special for a bit... but then it fizzled.

And thanks to everyone else who spoke up.

jim

 

[jthserra]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Friday Feb 20

now THAT'S an impact. While I certainly didn't intend to send anyone to hell with my challenge, I am grateful you felt it worth going there for.

Well, now you can say someone went to hell and back for you. No, once I got the roundel working, it wasn't really hell... All I can say, it was a hell of a challenge...

jim

 

[Angeline]

Re: Wow... I think I will discuss the new poems

for Monday. There are a number of thank yous I need to mention, but I'll do that after my reviews.
...............

And I will close with my favorite of the day... without a doubt one of the stellar poets of Literotica... Angeline nods to us with Now Yes .

"susan black-eyed arches plain
sunny strength to early blues
reaching cloudless yielding gold
clear lidded gusting unswerving
yes"

Read this beautiful poem now.

...................

Until next Monday, lets be careful out there poets...

jim

Thank you Jim for the wonderful things you said about my poem and my poetry.

I was looking through some really gorgeous flower photos and pining for sping, when it occurred to me that flowers--individual ones--can be described in such a way that they pertain to human growth and change. Lol--this would explain why I write poetry...duh. (I just wrote that and thought that sounds so dumb, haha.) Anyway you get the idea...

Thanks also to those who commented and sent feedback (thanks for the flies, fishy).

<------------- (appropriate, huh?)

 

[annaswirls]

oh my gosh

I am thinking maybe I should have done the new poem thing by default yesterday.....


Mojo is gone
Mojo was going to do Eves Tuesday
and I was going to help.

which leaves me

eek



okay running running......
putting in a video for the boy.....

 

[echoes_s]

Anna, I hate to pick on anyone, but whatever you do, save Denis Hale's poem for last as he shows another side of Mastery in his art...

 

[annaswirls]

If I counted correctly there were 21 *New Poems* yesterday of which, unfortunately, I have read very few so far! I am glad I have this incentive.

I am going in order of which they appeared on the list.

denis hale reminds us that yes, you can write a love poem without sounding like a sap.

Love Knows No Boundaries


He combines a gentle voice with his more traditional hyper-realism, hyper-active hard hitting verse. Go read this if you haven't yet, and read the comments people have left as well.

In the morning
I run my thumbnail
on your picture

and all the white noise
of the world is reduced
to a bevy of whisper kisses

softly stirring
your eyelashes
from slumber.

Soon enough
there will be a rumble
in your floorboards--
electric flint-rock
dynamo hum
in a burning
aching cleft

*************

Icingsugar takes us on "an indesion" trip in his ninth Spree Spree 9

but really stopped me in my tracks with his second poem Band Aid

You don't even ache
until you feel
that sticky ooze
erasing friction,

forming a trail
down the wrist,
before dripping
off an unaware digit
on the carving hand's
idle innocent twin...

...and then look down,

This powerful, painful, vivid, teeth clenching poem...
reminded me of an 8th grade girl I knew who tried to erase herself with one of those big pink erasers,
leaving red burns and raw skin....
There is a story behind this poem that will touch everyone who reads it. Well Done, Icingsugar.


*************

I absolutely *loved* aman's Cyber Groom

It cracked me up beginning to end,
the rhymes were completely necessary--
and who can argue with someone who matches up
"exude" and "nude"


Okay, I cracked up beginning to almost end--
she does end it with a bit of a bite--
so distinct from the rest of the poem,
she switches her rhyme to alliteration.....
but you need to go check it out yourself
welcome amans! :smile:

*************


I found myself scowling like a hard ass,
(I don't know, maybe Joan Jett?)
when I read Toward A Word's

Jukebox Roll

His hard hitting beat is relentless.
Damn!


*************

SeattleRain seems mad as hell and burning like it too....
in her two submissions
stand back stay low and done my time, hard


(okay, I am standing back.....)


*************

You might be surprised by misskittyclitty's wow that is really fun to type
Three Little Words


*************

Speaking of words, check out RazzRajen's

Facile Words


*************

Last, but least only in vertical order of the list, our svelte walker
gives us a moving heartbreaker

kept by holding

we saw you
begging for his droplets

he has been with all
your sisters, lonely lovers
salty kissers
holding back for the pulling out

I am holding back posting the whole poem here...go read it if you haven't already...
How he puts such unique twists on universal feelings is beyond me......


And that my friends is my review :smile:

I promise that if Tuesday is now *actually* mine to do,
that I will actually do what I am to do on Tuesday

shoo bie doobie do


Awesome job, Poets
Keep on Writing!

Anna

 

[svelte walker]

thank you

I am very pleased that you enjoyed my poem, annaswirls.
It was not the best of moods in me that time writing.
You have made it a mellower, less dangerous iron gray path.
Less clanking too.

 

[jthserra]

Well anna...

Your first time. May I offer you a well done? An excellent review... I only wish I had written something for you to look at today...

Well done...

jim

 

[RazzRajen]

for the toe stepping anna

Thanks for the mention.
though it was not strictly in the tuesday file...

And thanks for taking the time and making the effort.

Razz