new poems

[Icingsugar]

Icingsugar takes us on "an indesion" trip in his ninth Spree Spree 9

but really stopped me in my tracks with his second poem Band Aid

This powerful, painful, vivid, teeth clenching poem...
reminded me of an 8th grade girl I knew who tried to erase herself with one of those big pink erasers,
leaving red burns and raw skin....
There is a story behind this poem that will touch everyone who reads it. Well Done, Icingsugar.

Thank you, anna. I was a little hesitant to post that piece of soot that I wrote out of my system the other day. Glad it made sense to someone else than me too.

And well done on your first round! A splendid review set, and you're only just warming up. Right?

/Ice

 

[HomerPindar]

Two poems caught my eye:

controlled burn by SeattleRain

duldrum by Liar

First, because they're both really good poems IMnsHO, and second because they both illicited some questions in the reader about a common thread between them. And, seeing as we have a thread for just such inquiries, I posted the question about these common themes there:

Some questions here.

Read. Enjoy. Write. Repeat.
HomerPindar

 

[annaswirls]

Comments on comments

Darn it!

I feel like I have to read all the poems TWICE. Once for the poem, and back again to read all the thoughtful, poetic and downright hilarious comments you all leave. I feel the need to comment on the comments. I need a hobby.

So, that is my recommendation.

Go read the poems. There are a lot of darn good ones.

Then scroll and read the comments. Ditto.

AS

 

[Cordelia]

Poem review for Thursday is forthcoming.


Cordelia

 

[Cordelia]

new poems 2/26/04

Okay. Twenty three new poems today. Again, apologies for the late review.

I found only a few worth recommending. (Usual disclaimer: This is only my opinion. Feel free to disagree or add your own on poems I didn't mention.)
~~~~~~~

dinner summer dusk by oxalis

I love food. And poems like this really hit me where I salivate. How could you not love a line like this:
"till dreams slide down as oysters"

Yummy.
~~~~~~~

My pick of the day, however, is controlled burn by SeattleRain.

A taste of this delicious poem:

I like lovers light brown crisp
caramelized on the end of a stick
inside liquid melts

Wow. Go read the whole thing.
~~~~~~~

eiderdown whisper by Sibilaire.

A poem as soft as the title suggests.
~~~~~~~

And finally, one I liked better upon the second reading.
radiolight by mojo_cat.

I couldn't shake the image of "your bed bathed in radiolight."

Lovely.
~~~~~~~

Now go read and comment.


Cordelia

 

[Cordelia]

And, for Rybka...

A spinner poem from Sept of 2002:

Raking Blues by KatPurrs

Juxtaposed against granite,
sweet fern, and dirt roads:

Locals, Canadians, Mexicans,
Mic Mac, and Passamaquoddy,
zig zag along the gulf of blue; tack
within stringed-off lanes, ten feet wide
and a quarter mile long - shade denied
by glacial migrations.

The wind never leaves their sails
as they move along with smiles and song:

Bentwood backs ache and blacken,
as berries are swept
into short-handled, long-tined rakes
powered by stamina - sweat -
need - to line ragged pockets
by turning the sea left behind
from powder blue back to green.

I went back and read a few more of her poems. I highly recommend it.

Enjoy.

Cordelia

 

[oxalis]

Cordelia

thank you for mention and more.
old friends and favorite poets
compose delightful memories
spin in place
we all of us never tip over

 

[Guest]

Re: Cordelia

thank you for mention and more.
old friends and favorite poets
compose delightful memories
spin in place
we all of us never tip over

We be Weebles.

 

[mojo_cat]

Re: new poems 2/26/04

And finally, one I liked better upon the second reading.
radiolight by mojo_cat.

I couldn't shake the image of "your bed bathed in radiolight."

Lovely.
~~~~~~~
[/B]

Thanks, ma'am. I couldn't get that word out of my head for days. It's not a polished poem by any means, but it's my first love poem, ever.

Much obliged.

(and yes, I'm back. Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride...)

 

[mojo_cat]

Re: Re: Cordelia

We be Weebles.

Can I be Bob?
I looove pie!

 

[Liar]

Re: Re: new poems 2/26/04

(and yes, I'm back. Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride...)

Yay! That's the spirit.

 

[jthserra]

Welcome back

Mojo-cat...

jim : )

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: Re: Re: Cordelia

Can I be Bob?
I looove pie!

PIE!

 

[Icingsugar]

Poems Friday, Feb 27

Huh?

Is someone pulling a prank on the Cakeman?

What an utterly strange day. This day I will not urge you to "go and read all rest of the the poems" on the new poems list. Why? Because all of them were well worthy of mention here in the thread.

Ok, there were only 13 poems in total, and some were better than others. But all of them were interresting enough to mention. I know that I have a lower treshold than some other reviewers when it comes to what I recommend, but I did find all of those to be enjoyable reads, and I truly think that there are aspects and perspectives to learn from in all of those poems.

So, the list from top to bottom:

So that you'll know which ones were "better than others", I have marked my favorurites of today with a C. That's my opinion, and you're all free to disagree. But hey, I claim no impeccable wisdom in those matters.

doldrum by Liar
Stillness and contemplation, and a wish for something more, in a compact, careful poem, well accentuated by an aestethic composition on a beautiful picture.

Urban Sprawl ( part 2) by Maria2394 C
I've seen this happen too often. And it pisses me off everytime. The city buys the land, scorches the land and paints the image of land upon the ruins. Powerfully put and well pictured in this sad, but very good poem.

turtle tongues by poetboy824
A poem humming from being supercharged with imagination and fantastic metaphors and imagery. I can't quite connect the dots to find the core message, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying this very much.

unzipped soul by poetboy824 C
A bit more clear and straight-on. But still the same vivid imagery.

so i am not a real man by steve porter
A simplistic and straight in the face contemplation of the effect others can have on you.

Like a lie by Lonpoet
Sometimes we meet people that change us profoundly. They stumble dramatically in, stumble dramatically out, and it's not until afterwards that you realise the impact and footprints they left. I may be mistaken, but I think this is the story of such an encounter.

we'll always have Paris by annaswirls
...and she keeps on writing poetry like the rest of us walk the pavement. Effortless (at least it appears so), casual, but with a certainty that is overwhelming. A sexy blend of cinematic maybe-reality and maybe-movies.

captive audience by Sibilaire C
A quite new name in the Literotica ranks. Reads like the countdown of a time trigger camera, about a frozen time trigger moment. Brilliant in it's own simplistic ways.

Depth by jthserra
A step into old time strycture and meter, and it is a quite well managed step IMO. Jim handles the form (as usual I don't know the labels for poetry structures, but I do recognise this) and expresses himself wellin rhymed lines. A homage to the Bard with a ghostly theme. Well done.

Atonement by Angeline C
A wonderfully warm face value poem about celebrating life and enjoying it's twists and turns. We need more positive poetry in the world. And few does it better then Angeline when she's in the right mood.

what fun by 2rivers
"some cats don’t like their tummies scratched / others do". A cozy poem to snuggle up with. A slightly tipsy murmured musing that made me smile.

Black Sheep With a Tude by auntiehistamine
A bunch of very interresting lines in an otherwise run-of-the-mill written poem on an interresting theme. This has potentional to be something better, and the writer has proved in earlier poems that consistency in language and imagery is not an issue. Although flawed, it's still definitely good enough to spend a minute or two on. So do. Duh.

Behind the Looking Glass by butterfly_lies
Prose poetry? Poetic prose? It's a concept that I've always had a little beef with, never understood the need so create a sub-label for prosaic text that bends the rules a little. But nevertheless, this is a compelling little fraction of a fairy-tale. I sure would like to see this continued. I feel a story of repeated encounters, dreams and reality seeping into each other, and adventure brewing.


*phew*
/Ice

 

[BooMerengue]

...chuckling here... and on my way to read... good job, Ice!

 

[jthserra]

Thank you

Icing, for the mention on Depth. It's a kind of sonnet, however rather than working all lines in a pentameter, I alternated between octameter and hexameter until the final two lines which were octameter.

I have always been fascinated by Ariel's Song from "The Tempest". Something so haunting in those words.

thanks again,

jim : )

 

[Angeline]

Re: Poems Friday, Feb 27

Huh?

Is someone pulling a prank on the Cakeman?

What an utterly strange day. This day I will not urge you to "go and read all rest of the the poems" on the new poems list. Why? Because all of them were well worthy of mention here in the thread.

..............................

Atonement by Angeline C
A wonderfully warm face value poem about celebrating life and enjoying it's twists and turns. We need more positive poetry in the world. And few does it better then Angeline when she's in the right mood.


/Ice

Thanks for mentioning my poem, Ice--and thank you feedbackers and pc'ers (even the lurking fish feedbacker, who somehow got me to admit I'm as flaky as the snow in that poem, lol)

The poem was a knee-jerk reaction to a number of writings I've seen lately that use suicide as a metaphor for the ultimate seduction. This wasn't so much true of the poem in the thread where I first posted it btw--they just seemed to be popping up everywhere I looked.

Anyway, in spite of seeming like the (ugh) Pollyanna of poetry sometimes, I am in fact a pretty cynical girl--but I do love life; hence the poem.

PS-- Welcome back, Mojo_Cat.

 

[annaswirls]

originally posted by Icingsugar

we'll always have Paris by annaswirls
...and she keeps on writing poetry like the rest of us walk the pavement. Effortless (at least it appears so), casual, but with a certainty that is overwhelming. A sexy blend of cinematic maybe-reality and maybe-movies.

Thanks for the mention, Icingsugar and the kind compliments

Ice, your comment has me smiling,
I guess life has a funny way--
you should see me try to walk on the pavement...
far from effortless
especially if I am writing a poem

talk about breaking your mamas back....



-AnnaSwirls and trips..


Ms. Hilton says, "mmm, yeah, oh yeah baby"
Translation "God look at me on that screen, I am so f'ing hot"

okay I will give her a break, she is pretty damn hot

 

[SeattleRain]

Re: new poems 2/26/04

Okay. Twenty three new poems today. Again, apologies for the late review.

I found only a few worth recommending. (Usual disclaimer: This is only my opinion. Feel free to disagree or add your own on poems I didn't mention.)
~~~~~~~

dinner summer dusk by oxalis

I love food. And poems like this really hit me where I salivate. How could you not love a line like this:
"till dreams slide down as oysters"

Yummy.
~~~~~~~

My pick of the day, however, is controlled burn by SeattleRain.

A taste of this delicious poem:
Wow. Go read the whole thing.
~~~~~~~

eiderdown whisper by Sibilaire.

A poem as soft as the title suggests.
~~~~~~~

And finally, one I liked better upon the second reading.
radiolight by mojo_cat.

I couldn't shake the image of "your bed bathed in radiolight."

Lovely.
~~~~~~~

Now go read and comment.


Cordelia

Thank you for the mention, Cordelia! I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
SeattleRain

 

[Maria2394]

Re: Poems Friday, Feb 27

Huh?
So that you'll know which ones were "better than others", I have marked my favorurites of today with a C. That's my opinion, and you're all free to disagree. But hey, I claim no impeccable wisdom in those matters.

doldrum by Liar
Stillness and contemplation, and a wish for something more, in a compact, careful poem, well accentuated by an aestethic composition on a beautiful picture.

Urban Sprawl ( part 2) by Maria2394 C
I've seen this happen too often. And it pisses me off everytime. The city buys the land, scorches the land and paints the image of land upon the ruins. Powerfully put and well pictured in this sad, but very good poem.

********8

thank you very much for the mention and the cutie pink C

I was truly worried that after my crappy attempt at poop humor no one would even read another poem I wrote...ever!!

also thanks for the feedback, all of which has been very kind and to curious anon, I pulled the first Urban Sprawl a few months ago, send me your email and I will send it to you...was that you anna?

anyway, thanks again Ice

 

[Liar]

Re: Re: Poems Friday, Feb 27

also thanks for the feedback, all of which has been very kind and to curious anon, I pulled the first Urban Sprawl a few months ago, send me your email and I will send it to you...was that you anna?

Aha. I was just wondering about that. I've seen some of you belated poets do that now and then, though I really can't figure out why.

#L

 

[annaswirls]

Re: Re: Re: Poems Friday, Feb 27

Aha. I was just wondering about that. I've seen some of you belated poets do that now and then, though I really can't figure out why.

#L

Maria, nope, that was not me, but send it along anyway, you know my email, I would love to read it.


Liar,

What is a belated poet?

You can't figure out why what?


Confused

sleepy

happy

Anna

 

[Maria2394]

Re: Re: Re: Poems Friday, Feb 27

Aha. I was just wondering about that. I've seen some of you belated poets do that now and then, though I really can't figure out why.

#L

hey Liar

I can't speak for anyone else, of course, but I go back and reread my stuff at times and pull pieces that I know need work. Or I pull pieces I am submitting elsewhere ( I got my first rejection slip about 3 weeks ago, so I am not a virgin anymore!! )

mostly I pull my poems when I think they are so bad I cant bear the thought of anyone reading them again until they have been edited..thats the reaosn I pulled Urban Sprawl..it was okay, got good votes ( had a 4.87) when I pulled it, but it seemed forced, cramped, or just stuck together, you know? its better now, I think, I will check its temp and give it something if needed...

have a great day

maria

 

[SeattleRain]

Hello it is 12:11 and in my zone it is tomorrow. Here are some I liked.

-------------
Ocean Love
by Syndra Lynn ©
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=131734

Rivulet waterfalls nibble at rocks
unmoved sentinels
pounded
and bathed
refreshed by the surf

she lets us see what she sees without telling us what to think. Gotta love that in a woman, or man for that matter.

-------------

my best poems
by steve porter ©

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=131738

my best poems
have nothing to do with you

I love that line. The rest is cool too.

-------------

I was Called Poet
by jthserra ©
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=131730

I was called poet,
italicized,
not for the grace of words
or poetic precept,
but to receive
yet another slice
from the razor’s edge.

jthserra, you are so cool, you damn poet.
my friend told a waitress I was a poet and I went blind for 2 minutes

-------------

In Dreams.
by Tristesse ©
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=130218

I sleep 10.000 years each night I close my eyes,
cover continents before dawn.
In dreams I fly -
fanciful flights -
on filigree wings
as fine as spider's web.

I wish I dreamed and wrote like Tristesse
I am always concerned when I stroll naked in my dreams
usually looking for my shoes.

-------------

Silent Footfalls
by RazzRajen ©
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=131697


Okay is it me, or was anyone else really scared by this poem. I am afraid to go to sleep and may have to read Tristesse's again before going to bed.

Silent footfalls , dry crunch of walnut shells
Smells that rise up
from dung heaps,
My charnel house of flesh:
limbs askew, the sheen glows;
as fire in His eyes
burns pools of light
onto her form,

-------------


Plunging into that abyss of night
by SouthSkyEyes ©
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=131645


I just had to post this whole thing I cuoldn't figure out what to cut. I live this poem and am enough of a narcisist who cannot spell but can see herself here and wants to show it.

I confess, I do plunge, on occasion...
Thrilled at the start, after getting beyond tired.
And with cache of caffeine at hand,
Withdrawing from the world, greeting my addiction,
Indulging that lust to write.
Taking that dark ride all through into morning,
'till I nod at the keyboard a few times.
And then crash into bed with my mind still whirling,
Waiting for the mercy of shutdown.

This IS my opiate.

pass the opiate on the left hand side
pass the caffien to the right

-------------


These last two really do not need any recommendation, least of all mine, I am sure everyone here reads everything they put out there.

But I still have an ounce or two of energy left, so I will do it anyway, humbley rumbley in my tumbley.....

-------------

Meeting Of The Minds
by denis hale ©

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=131625

mind twisting phrases, intriguing characters and an emotinally cathartic piece of work

Narcoleptic farmer
mummy breathing
through a salamander tongue slit
in his Saran Wrap face mask

eyeballs the cock-blocked poet
in the moonlit back forty
who is jacking off
the rusty squealing
pump handle on a well

gone long since
dry.

damn the descriptions of these guys-- I just wanted to put the part about the handle and the dry well, but had to back up so far I got to the start. Jam packed like a chocolate chip cookie with triple the chips


-------------

little house guy poem
by smithpeter ©

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=131621

Took me longer to figure out who "SP" was than it did for me to figure out why people seem to love his work here and there

he is all electric
water and air
crawl and above space
sopping all the while bleeding
at-his-nose

and my pick of the day

grand display
by smithpeter ©

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=131753

seems like one of those poems
when the fireworks just finished
or have not started

and if they have any trouble getting the fireworks started, they can use this hot poem for some ignition.

-------------

well I do go on and on. Mostly quotes I guess, no smilies like I heard recommended...and not sure what the spinner thing is.

but these are mine and I am sure I missed.


SeattleRain

-------------how could I not use a color called "burlywood" tonight?--------

 

[smithpeter]

SeattleRain? who?

first, to say welcome.

Next, thanks for mentioning my poems.
two of em.
thanks

if only i was an older archivist
with antique drawers
pulling out funny things,
here I have none
no rhyme
no raisons no sun no bran so
soak me in my native mild medium milk