new poems

[Maria2394]

Maria!

Thankyou sooo much for your comments, both on Flippy and on As a windchime... which isn't such a smash hit I see. But thats ok...

I wish I had your gracious and loving attitude... and the time to express it. You, my dear, are Poetess Extraordinaire Of The Year!





(my fan club doesn't bananadance for just anyone!)

Dear Sweet Lady Boo
thank you much for the nana dance!! I think they're really cute..and as for Flippy, well, you know how I feel :hugs: and windchime, hey, its a hit with me, I have a passion for the stones and colors you mentioned, I think I was a rock in a past life, all malachite and traces of copper inlaid..you should see the jewelry my hubby brought me from arizona when he worked in the copper mine in globe Az..just beautiful,

but the best gift was a bag of assorted raw semi-precious stones he bought at a reservation..his friends teased him unmercifully about it, and the gift itself made me cry, just that he knew me that well, I had no idea he was so romantic!! all over a bag o' rocks, gawsh!!!!

your poem reminded me of that

thank you for the awesome praise you have given my stuff, some of which I was so uncertain about posting I almost didnt..youre a great friend and a gifted poet!!

 

[Icingsugar]

Freaky Friday? (Mars 5)

Another friday, and it seems like the powers that be really do enjoy giving me odd days. If it isn't a bunch of illustrated poems, it's a bunch of really good ones, or a bunch of total crap. Never a "normal" batch to review.

Today there are a staggering number of six poems all in all published. Six poems that all rise well above the noise of cliché fuck/Ds/sap/heartache poetry and hold their own very well. Two stood out as being yet another notch of quality today. One old and trustworthy poet, and one total debutant.


..........................


Let's start with the by now very familiar name of 2rivers, a poet with a goodinsight into the mechanics of both humans and the world in general. In cacophony, et al there is a very recognisable streak of chanelling out the wish for a happier day on annoyance over present mundane details. In this case that detail is...geese? Huh. I guess you really need ro read it to understand. So do.

[color=222299]damn geese
shitting all over the thawed pond
squawking, snotty gendering
shiftless gather

away down south it was different
...[/color]

..........................


Californian dude erstud is making his first Lit territiorial markings today with two interresting poems.
She knows not what she does is a sexy, colorful, drunken blues of heartbreak and headache. It is also by far the best of the two:

[color=222299]...
The temptress red candy,
Fixated on two liquids mixing into one,
Trying to drown the memories of her
Burning as they slide past my teeth.
...[/color]


..........................


Oh yeah, one more that deserves some attention...


Urico posted his first stories as recently as in Februari, and Full Circle is his first poem here. He use no fancy words, but it is in the simplicity of his language that the power of them IMnsHO lies:

[color=222299]have I been wandering aimlessly?
miles covered, calendar pages fly.
in circles or straight lines?
jagged path not smoothed by time
...[/color]

He still needs to work out a bit of the bluntness of his lines, and since he is obviously aiming for symmentry and some rhyming, also straighten up the meter. But hey, he does show some solid promise, and a new face is aways worth to cut a little slack.

Let's hope we can lure them both in to the forum and have our way with them, eh?


/Ice

 

[Guest]

multiple groups posted at different times

I hate to sound like an ass... however

Did all of you that review poems notice that there are approximately 3 times a day that new poems are posted. From what I have noticed most of you only 'review' the poems that were posted in the first batch which usually is around 5am my time here in Arizona... the second is sometime around noon my time... the third sometime around 7 or 8pm my time.

I post and I read... but I would think that if you were going to review all of the poems maybe wait until the next day to review the poems from the previous day so that you don't miss anyones poems that might miss your radar because they are posted after whoever the daily reviewer reads.

My $.02

 

[Icingsugar]

Re: multiple groups posted at different times

I hate to sound like an ass... however

Did all of you that review poems notice that there are approximately 3 times a day that new poems are posted. From what I have noticed most of you only 'review' the poems that were posted in the first batch which usually is around 5am my time here in Arizona... the second is sometime around noon my time... the third sometime around 7 or 8pm my time.

I post and I read... but I would think that if you were going to review all of the poems maybe wait until the next day to review the poems from the previous day so that you don't miss anyones poems that might miss your radar because they are posted after whoever the daily reviewer reads.

My $.02

Haven't really noticed that before, and so far in my covering of Fridays, this has not been a problem. I'm some six or seven hours after you on CET (Central Europen Time, Greenwich -1), and by 6 PM here all poems for that date are usually in (your lunchtime, I guess), so that's when I review. Today it seems like a batch got added just before my midnight, (And that a whole lot that are stamped with Saturday's date, so I leave those alone.) And I'm not going to try to give comprehensive review when I should be in bed snoozing happily.

If people promise not to get impatient and start wondering "Where's the Friday reviews?" when their yankee Fridays starts coming to an end, I'll gladly do my reviews when I can be arsed to get out of bed late on a sleepy Saturday morning instead.

I'm off to take a looksie at the rest of the 03/05 poems. But I can't promise my critic's eye is functional at this time of night...

/Ice

 

[Urico]

Thanks, Ice

I would like to thank you for the kind words about Full Circle...it is my first poem posted but I have been writing them for 20 years. Some I think are good, some are musings. As far as my style, most of my poems are lyrical and would be geared to song. So, if you may please keep that in mind. I have more where this came from and look forward to posting more.

 

[Icingsugar]

I'm ba-ack.

Ok, the new poems for the day was a pretty easy bunch to sift through. Two more poems stood out from the lot.

self whacking by Palau
Bouncing little balls of ego that takes some brain strain to read, but is well worth it.

A Year
by champagne1982
A series of poems on each month split up into groups of three.
1st quarter
2nd quarter
3rd quarter
4th quarter
An impressive achivement in itself, the poems vary in style and meter quite a bit, so it never gets any boring, even though the quality also varies (from pretty good to very good, so it never dissapoints). As it turned out, the best three are all located in the 3rd Q. But do read them in order.

 

[2rivers]

to IcingSugar

Thank you, Icingsugar

it’s like you understand what I was trying to do.

later, pats on the back take away the regret
dust collects around an empty mind but seldom visits
dust on haunches lazily making love
to the hose from hookah
admiring the new refrigerator
chatting about yesterdays news
predicting the present,
all unlikely
dust is more active

 

[Angeline]

Re: Re: multiple groups posted at different times

Haven't really noticed that before, and so far in my covering of Fridays, this has not been a problem. I'm some six or seven hours after you on CET (Central Europen Time, Greenwich -1), and by 6 PM here all poems for that date are usually in (your lunchtime, I guess), so that's when I review. Today it seems like a batch got added just before my midnight, (And that a whole lot that are stamped with Saturday's date, so I leave those alone.) And I'm not going to try to give comprehensive review when I should be in bed snoozing happily.

If people promise not to get impatient and start wondering "Where's the Friday reviews?" when their yankee Fridays starts coming to an end, I'll gladly do my reviews when I can be arsed to get out of bed late on a sleepy Saturday morning instead.

I'm off to take a looksie at the rest of the 03/05 poems. But I can't promise my critic's eye is functional at this time of night...

/Ice

The poem posting schedule here at Lit appears to be in transition. At the time Ice took on Friday reviews, one could pretty well count on all new poems for that day being posted by around 6 or 7 am EST. This has changed radically over the past few months. I suspect it has because of the sheer amount of new poems submitted now each day, and the proportion of those that are multimedia submissions. Illustrated poetry, for example, is a pretty new phenomenon here. I think it just takes Laurel longer to sort through everything.

And Ice, no one should have to review poems after being awake for 18 hours. (Well, except maybe Lauren, but she actually likes doing stuff like that.) Go to sleep, lol. We can read public comments--and anyone can recommend a new poem. Much as I like reading you, I don't want any tired grumpy reviewers around here--especially if I submitted poems that day.



Ange

 

[annaswirls]

Re: multiple groups posted at different times

I hate to sound like an ass... however

Did all of you that review poems notice that there are approximately 3 times a day that new poems are posted. From what I have noticed most of you only 'review' the poems that were posted in the first batch which usually is around 5am my time here in Arizona...

That is very nice of you to be concerned for the poems that may be missed,

but I have only noticed this happening one or two times since December-- and it has been like today when the new ones for tomorrow came up early....

here on the east coast, the next day's usually are not up when I check last, midnight, 1am. Sometimes the next days come on early when it is a special day (illustrated or audio)

usually all show up in the morning, I get my fix early and then often come back for more.

Maybe you can be on watch and either send the reviewer a note if you see new ones coming in or do a quick review of the ones that came in?

Some days, no poems are reviewed, it is a volunteer position and eh hem, sometimes it just does not happen. People have been great about picking up the task, which is very helpful.

A great community!

Thanks Ice for your work
sleepy guy

I will remember to not write any lullabys on your day to review.

AS

 

[Syndra Lynn]

Apology!

I am very sorry if I stepped on any toes! I am new here, been hanging out for a week, and sort of jumped in with both feet.

I posted "reviews" if you want to call them that, on Tuesday and Thursday poems, because I found ones I loved, and because it appeared, to a newbie, that this was in the spirit of this thread. Now I have gone back several weeks in the thread (in search of great poems) and I see a pattern emerging. It looks like certain poets review on certain days.

I apologize deeply if anyone has dented toes!

Is there a day of the week that needs a regular review? I will be happy to volunteer for either Tuesday or Saturday. Then again, maybe you need someone with more experience? Let me know. Either way I will keep reading each day for new gems and true feelings.

Two of mine posted today!

Here's one that is for word lovers only! Fetish for K/W

And here is a hot little number for a hot little number! First Time Lucky

And I am tickled pink that my first story posted! My Dear Sweet Fuck Toy

I'm not too bashful to ask for feedback.

Thanks for letting me hang out!

Syndra Lynn

 

[champagne1982]

I must admit, I was surprised that my poems seemed to appear at an odd time of day! Thank you Ice for reviewing them regardless of how long you had to stay up. Thankfully, you were still good humoured enough to treat my stuff favourably. Sooo, lemme get ya a cup of warm milk and tuck you in there beside your 3 ladies and whisper in your ear, "You missed my best one sleepy head. Check out Noise from the cancer ward if you feel the need for catharsis."

P.s. Your babies are beautiful, you 2 and I think it's so sweet that they seem to be sitting up and looking at each other, as if discussing who's gonna be first.

 

[BooMerengue]

I Know I'm Meddling
03/05/04 by WindChyme
I hope this is not a thing verboten, but I just couldn't keep my hands off this. It felt like clay, and I just kept rearranging it. I stripped away all the capital letters, punctuation marks, and spacing, because I loved all the words and the images evoked, but I wasn't getting it. Once everything was gone but the words, a poem jumped off the page for me. Maybe I still didn't get what you were trying to say, Boo (may I call you by your first syllable. Forgive me if I did a bad.

malachite and agate
turquoise and jade
twisted in the tendrils
of deadly nightshade
narrow and jagged
smooth and inlaid
golden with copper
hidden in shade
mystically woven
into a crones braid
she chimes down the lightning
a thundering tirade
when I am a windchime
my debt will be paid

Since I asked people about what they'd be as a windchime, I'm really glad to find someone taking the lead. Sad to say, I'm still not on board with my own poetic rendering on this! You've given me a nudge!

WyndChyme! I'm sooo glad you said this! The way you have it is exactly how I wrote it except I had a space before the last 2 lines. But I was told I need to punctuate more, so I did. I don't like punctuation unless it comes to me as I write. When I have to go back and do it it feels false. Maybe it's time I stopped doin it!

I'm glad you liked it and I'm not thin skinned. Always tell me what you like or don't!

Thank you!

 

[Tathagata]

my first attempt

at doing the review thing so be forgiving
lol

First annaswirls, who never fails to make me smile, or think, or wonder has 2 great submissions
Sometimes Miss Annaswallows the title alone drew me in and there I found such a powerful poem I've gone back 3 times to read it again.

and also cones and pollen which gave me a whole new perspective on my friend the mockingbird.

snapshot '82 by Maria2394 is just that.
a glimpse into a summer morning along a beach..when life was simple and maybe a bit lonely
poised on the verge of adulthood perhaps it has nostalgia and sentiment and you can small the salt air and hear the waves.
Once again Maria you write the way I wish i could

One Night In Tunisia By Angeline
recalls an almost " Rick's Cafe" scene for me
Smokey sweaty late night jazz and warm scented desert air
In th style of the beat poets
well done


oxalis gives us disastrous results
which if I didn't know better sounds like a trip to a trip joint.
but still a wonderful piece of kaleidoscope images from a lost night

and Seattlerain's two hands free
is like looking through a windshield while be taken on an early morning ride
some great images here also

fetish for k/w by Syndra Lynn is a wonder mix of wordplay and eroticism
made me smile

thank you all for your wonderful work

and a private note to ssilversong
Thank you for your kind words
it means more to me than you could know
and yes..there is an eastern influence in all my work
: )
Very astute of you to pick that out

 

[Tathagata]

ran it through spell check and still fucked up
lol
that should be strip joint on oxalis's review

 

[Syndra Lynn]

Thanks Tathagata!

Both for the mention in your review, and the kind public comment on Thank you, Love

When I was a kid I used to have "Q" words run through my head in large streams unbidden. It felt good to finally put them on paper!

It 'aint classic, but it's a fun ride.

Great job on your first review, thanks for including me

Syn

 

[Angeline]

Re: my first attempt

at doing the review thing so be forgiving
lol......

One Night In Tunisia By Angeline
recalls an almost " Rick's Cafe" scene for me
Smokey sweaty late night jazz and warm scented desert air
In th style of the beat poets
well done.....

Thank you for the mention, T. I was listening to a recording of A Night in Tunisia by Clifford Brown, a wonderful trumpet jazzer from the height of the bebop period. He died tragically in a car accident at only 25, but I think had he lived he could have been an icon like Miles. The poem just came out--totally a reaction to what I heard.

The recording btw is of a live performance--you can hear the audience going nuts, yelling "Yeah," which I tried to convey in the poem.

And you did great! Thanks for this and all the poems, too.


Ange

 

[oxalis]

Tathagata

Thank you for your mention.


as you say, strip joint actually not tucked for many years
yearning remains
the ladies of step and tempt
respect and insult
college and single mothers
warm and cold
like factory workers
different garb
different safety equipment
all knowing love
all fear OSHA

 

[SeattleRain]

Hey Tag-- thanks for the pat on the back and the mention of my two hands free poem from yesterday was it really yesterday. And I am lovin your passion thread entries!

Thanks for letting me know about the strip joint, I am sometimes so thick when it comes to figuring out the meaning of poems, so wrapped up in the feel. I think I had them on a hippy bus to see the dead or something.

and Ox, your thank you poem was awesome up there
glad to be sitting next to it here,

SeattleRain

 

[annaswirls]

Re: my first attempt

First annaswirls, who never fails to make me smile, or think, or wonder has 2 great submissions
Sometimes Miss Annaswallows the title alone drew me in and there I found such a powerful poem I've gone back 3 times to read it again.

and also cones and pollen which gave me a whole new perspective on my friend the mockingbird.

You have been very kind Tathagata and I appreciate your comments! I am glad that you enjoy my writing as in person I am quite dull and not entertaining.

By the way, shhhh you don't have to tell us when you fuck up, just click the little edit at the bottom.....and the world is open to you again....unless you are on suddenly passion....then smacked fingers will follow.


Okay, is it me, I just looked and found two poems at least that I missed. Are you all playin' tricks on Anna, hide and seek or something? Slippery little poems.

have a wonderful weekend.... and thanks big T for your efforts in your reviews here!

Anna

 

[Tathagata]

Re: Re: my first attempt

You have been very kind Tathagata and I appreciate your comments! I am glad that you enjoy my writing as in person I am quite dull and not entertaining.

By the way, shhhh you don't have to tell us when you fuck up, just click the little edit at the bottom.....and the world is open to you again....unless you are on suddenly passion....then smacked fingers will follow.


Okay, is it me, I just looked and found two poems at least that I missed. Are you all playin' tricks on Anna, hide and seek or something? Slippery little poems.

have a wonderful weekend.... and thanks big T for your efforts in your reviews here!

Anna

no one who writes like you can be dull.
and I'm not being kind...just honest.
: )

And I just read " Initiation"
yeah...dull and not entertaining


Big T??
rofl
Thank you for that as well
have a wonderful weekend yourself

Tathagata

 

[annaswirls]

Coming, I promise!

I need more than 10 minutes at a time
to be able to begin to approach the review
these wonderful poems deserve.....

I have fallen dizzy in love
with three or four of them already....





when the boys fall asleep,
I will devote myself....
behind locked doors and pulled shades,
to your poems
as if they were the only poems
in the entire universe...
because in many ways
they are




Anna

 

[annaswirls]

I feel so small next to the poems here.
Why I thought I could do these reviews is beyond me.
Feel like a tourist on a bus saying "wow, look at that, isn't it cool?" having no idea of the history, the stories, the language, the life of the culture they are driving through.

And yet, here I am your accidental tour guide:


Pretty much right in the middle of the *20 New Poems* were three that rose right to the top...all lined up in a row. See, I just cut and paste right from the list and I am half way done my review...

goes without saying -
Submitted by oxalis (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/07/04
how it seems and may be -
Submitted by Palau (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/07/04
Stabs -
Submitted by smithpeter (Non-Erotic Poetry) 03/07/04

***************

First, maybe it is the sound of the name, "ox."
I always feel like I am in good strong hands
when I read this poets words.
This was no exception.

goes without saying

chop with a sharp chisel
against the grain before gouging
same for God and demons
cut

I wonder if this writer has to work to make these words play together so nicely, and yet have such a good time, he must have them well trained. Although, I could have lived today without the "paddy whacked" it might just be a repressed desire for a good spank.


***************
Next: I guess Palau used to be around more often,
I am glad that this poet has come back.
I think this was my favorite today oh and non-erotic? puh-lease. I must be a pervert, then. Hot hot hot.

how it seems and may be

okay I cannot cut this poem. Here it is:

to be loved is liquid encouragement
it has a feel
it’s wet and syrupy
sticky like fresh maple sap
now running, boiled down
just short of sultry hashish
insulted at being referred to
better left free in the kettle

***************
SmithPeter
Stabs

someone used the phrase "just words" in a public comment as if this were a bad thing-- glad a poet more seasoned than I and less likely to be drown in the words themselves came along to give an intelligent review... I am not sure if she got the meaning right, I was just turned into a gape mouth trout.

How many people on this earth can come up with something so fundamentally loving as this:

I love your feet
they hold you

Okay I am posting this but will be back with more....
if I smoked I would go have a cigarette....
I will figure something out....

Anna

 

[annaswirls]

jthserra
The one thing I have learned about Jim is that he continues to stretch himself. By writing in different forms, now in response to quotes from popular poets... he must be a disciplined, motivated, stop at nothing poet. Enthralled. From title to period at the end of this poem, I slid right through. I think we have a lot to learn from this man

I Best Remember Just the Mud

Or dare I hope for more
a moist clay precisely thrown
from soil spun on metaphor?
No, I best remember just the mud

***************
Okay I am a sucker for science speak...
well when it is put into such a sexy, profound, just crazy enough to work context as
Liar's Hemisphere to Holders

Simple physics,
applying a strive for connection
spread over the maximum amount
of you.

And still maintain the pressure,
the interlocked attention span,
now shrunken to moment fragments
and that shimmering second skin.

hot hot hot we know where Liar's brain was floating while he sat in Physics class...

***************

Tathagata brought us four poems today, each of which is well worth a mention.

rain haiku Behind the Mirror

ennui

birds sitting silent
like a row of mute judges
on the telephone wire

Tar Pools

My favorite of his today. Imagining being able to feel other's pain, loneliness from the inside... some amazing imagery-- not just visual-- in this poem filled with emotion.

perhaps it was the clouds
moving like dark hunched monks
across mornings early sky
hooded and menacing
that brought back the feelings
the feeling that like smoke
that I could slide inside everyone's face
and feel their pain
their loneliness

***************

Here is one to watch: Urico
Doggie Boy

Of course, in my dirty mind, I imagined it being more about well you know... but no.

Someone being treated like a bad dog.
No choke chain, but rolled paper...
Heart. This poem has enough heart to spare.
Written in 1999, I wonder what happened to Doggie Boy.

The rolled up newspaper,
comes down upon my ass.
Rubbing my nose,
Iin the dirt of my past.

***************
Okay, here it is, I love this poem. I could live inside this poem for a while but I am not sure that there is room....

cane with shell handle by talented svelt walker

prisms cast their glints
hard against the ceiling
like hand ball players smack
slimmest sound, economy of violent
whack and caress in time,

Damn! Talking smart indeed!
I am no artist but I was impressed with the ease *svelt walker*tosses these connections....
Did I already say "damn?"
Go read this and the comments,
as there are people out there who can actually review a poem like this while my mouth catches flies.

***************
I know there are others out there. Some romantic lovie ones that might be someone's cup of tea, please check them all out, hate to let someone slip through the cracks.

These are just the poems I wanted to stand on the mountaintop (or at least my second floor window) and shout. "It is a good day to be alive and reading these poems on Literotica.com! YES there really ARE poems at literotica.com!"

damn good ones too.

Anna

 

[svelte walker]

damn is good I thunk

this thing is very nice of you to say.
I will have to work harder to make it worth your compliment.
ahh, that is all
if you are sleeping, sleep well and wholesome,

once a snail came up to my door
my lower door
the short one
graced by shallow and diminutive character
tiny hinges, a little knob, cool beans lay like a welcome mat but all scattered
"it's what you get " says the intercom when there is no speaker within.

 

[Tathagata]

***************

Tathagata brought us four poems today, each of which is well worth a mention.

rain haiku Behind the Mirror

ennui



Tar Pools

My favorite of his today. Imagining being able to feel other's pain, loneliness from the inside... some amazing imagery-- not just visual-- in this poem filled with emotion.

[/color]

***************


Anna [/B]

Thank you once again for your kind words

It's an great honor to know I impressed some one with your talent
I look forward to sharing this space and words with you
and all the other wonderful talented people here
Thank you again

Tathagata