new poems

[Lauren Hynde]

Hmm... I like that. Maybe we should have a 'new poetry ravenous review and vivisection' thread. We could all concentrate on one new poem a day and squeeze it for all it's worth.

Eve? Thanks.

 

[WickedEve]

Hmm... I like that. Maybe we should have a 'new poetry ravenous review and vivisection' thread. We could all concentrate on one new poem a day and squeeze it for all it's worth.

Eve? Thanks.

Oh, ha ha! I don't want to destroy anyone -- just a little pain. lol
Honestly, movies and plays are reviewed, books, etc. Not all are praised. I don't want to mention a really poorly written poem but some poems are average and I think it's worth discussing why they are only average and how they can reach their full potential. UP started the original thread and he used to tear into us but we learned. Of course, that didn't last long because many poets really don't want to hear the truth. I've been here long enough to know that.
Anyway, let's just keep our sanitized version. I'm going to go play with my dildo now.

 

[Guest]

nice avatar!

Oh, ha ha! I don't want to destroy anyone -- just a little pain. lol
Honestly, movies and plays are reviewed, books, etc. Not all are praised. I don't want to mention a really poorly written poem but some poems are average and I think it's worth discussing why they are only average and how they can reach their full potential. UP started the original thread and he used to tear into us but we learned. Of course, that didn't last long because many poets really don't want to hear the truth. I've been here long enough to know that.
Anyway, let's just keep our sanitized version. I'm going to go play with my dildo now.

Nice avatar, W.E. I hope you keep it for a while. I don't know... between yours and Lauren's it's becoming hard to think about poetry around here What's a girl to do?
--Xtaabay

 

[WickedEve]

Re: nice avatar!

Nice avatar, W.E. I hope you keep it for a while. I don't know... between yours and Lauren's it's becoming hard to think about poetry around here What's a girl to do?
--Xtaabay

It'll probably be gone really soon. If my Big M sees it that ass in the AV will be in big trouble. But it's really not my fault that I'm an exhibitionist, is it? I can't help showing my ass from time to time.

 

[Angeline]

I leave for an hour...

But if the majority enjoy only recommending the better poems then that's fine. But I would like to once again discuss a variety of work -- the cream of the crop and those in need of work. A poem doesn't have to be picked apart until a poet cries but I think we can learn by discussing what is not working in a poem and how it could possibly be improved.

and we have a motion for a 'crap of the crop thread'? lol


Eve, remember what happened when we posted examples of our bad poems? Senna came in here and yelled at us for showing examples of what's bad.

You're all doing this because you want a new Senna tirade, right? You all miss them, don't you. Well this time somebody else can be the Spinoza dwarf! Not this chick! Uh-uh!

And if Senna were here, I just know he would say there are already enough examples of bad poetry here every day. Isn't that right Senna? I know you're out there lurking.

(Oh my god--I'm channeling Senna Jawa; his voice is in my head. I need a drink.)


PS Why does my AV feel like it needs to duck?

 

[WickedEve]

Oh, forget I said anything. I'm getting ready to take my ass to bed. Well, the ass av has been put away and the spanked ass in its place. oh, never mind... Tomorrow is Tuesday and I'll be here recommending... you know... whatever.... maybe a senna poem. Go read senna's poem because it ain't crap. Actually, I like that review.

 

[Cordelia]

New poems the last couple of days

I can't ever ignore good poems, and many have been posted the last couple of days.

So here's a quick review, for those who may care...

~~~~~~~
RisiaSkye has two posted. Homecoming is good, but definitely go and read Christina. It is poignant and lovely, with a multitude of images and incredible word-play. I read it several times, and each time I caught a nuance.

[...]
I was pretty smarter and they laughed anyway and called me names because
he sat out front decaying in the bathtub drinking
bad booze and singing worse songs and the money seemed to drop right out of
his pockets into the nearest bar nearest whore nearest hole and there was
never enough left for us left at home
[...]

Sad, but a fine read.
~~~~~~~
Four by silken_dreammaid, all lovely.
debris - softly bittersweet
lust bites - one of the best opening stanzas she's written!
Forged - something haunting about this...even the rhyme scheme.
and for temptation - another interesting rhyme scheme.
~~~~~~~
Five by 03sp. All worth a read.
7 and 8
it's the back
eleven photos
bubble of superstition
and pneumaticism, which caused me to grin hugely.
~~~~~~~
But the poem that I found absolutely delightful was by new-ish poet, Scriptitius, whose poems I have mentioned before.

For a good chuckle, definitely go read The Good Play. You won't regret it.
~~~~~~~

Happy reading to all.


Cordelia

 

[KillerMuffin]

Ooooooh, I'm so mad at myself. I completely forgot. I feel like such a jerk. I'm sorry.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: I leave for an hour...

and we have a motion for a 'crap of the crop thread'? lol

That's not what I was thinking about. A lot of times we find new poems that are not quite good enough to be good, but you can feel that they're close. That happens to me a lot, but I don't really spend enough time on them to figure out what is wrong and how would be possible to improve. I sometimes mention a poem and voice a wish that the poet would drop by and ask for help with it, because it could be a lot better.

Why is it that now we mustn't step on any sensitive toes? I think that if an author feels confident enough in his/her work to post it, he/she can't take constructive criticism the wrong way. Well, he/she can, but as readers we're going to shread it to bits in our heads, why not do it as a team?


PS: Let me just add that I like the format of this new poems thread, it serves an important purpose. I don't really have time to read all the new poems every day and it's good to have someone to pick the best of for me.

PPS: Don't worry about it, Muffie. Maybe you can redeem it another day...

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Re: I leave for an hour...

PS: Let me just add that I like the format of this new poems thread, it serves an important purpose. I don't really have time to read all the new poems every day and it's good to have someone to pick the best of for me.

Well, my dear girl, I'll be back later to recommend some good reading.

 

[WickedEve]

4-29 Excerpts, comments, and whatever

Summer Sustenance
by Rybka ©

Something fishy about this poem -- perhaps, the flatulence in the first stanza.

Jigger of gin
half a lime
squeezed over
splash of bitters
aromatic Angostura
straight from Trinidad
not just sundown’s colors
good for stomachic
and flatulence
(mix with coke)

Another fine poem by Rybka.

----------

mass transit
by 03sp ©

sweeping past
not sleekly
to next deposit
withdrawal
people on/off
scowling bus
late and smelly

Smelly? Was Rybka on the bus?
Anyway, this is the only 03sp poem today, so read it or wait for a new one to pop up tomorrow. Personally, I don't like the man's poetry but I realize he has a following here, so that's the only reason I mention his poetry.
(no today, sp.)

----------

New poet! He's calling himself the new kid on the block.

Transfusion
by Wolvesheart ©

More though, I want taste
to be our prime directive,
and in draining I want to be filled,
as we absorb each other fluidly.

----------

Abercrombie Model
by Baia ©

An expanse of fabric
Or lack there-of
To cover and impress
But could all blow away
With the slightest disapointment

Here's a poet I just read for the first time today and I found myself interested in what she has to say, especially in her poem Abuse. I look forward to seeing her poetry grow.

Abuse

let me enjoy the simple things
cool sheets
not stained with tears
macaroni and cheese
without screaming obscenities at me

----------

the moon
by Palau ©

there are exactly one million moons
in this poem
not the heaven
singular angel haven
moored with hemp
and glitter all cute and slit skirts
caught in forest doors

What can I say, it's good -- especially the above stanza.

----------

Bring out your hot water bottles
by silken_dreammaid ©

Not all of us have man-sized ones,
some of us have a bare six inch square
of flubbering rubber that smells.
"Bring out the hot water bottles."

I want a man-sized one.
----------

June May
by svelte walker ©

He whispers all over me,
”What are you dreaming?”
Of lithe officers,
Roses, corn, cucumbers,
Biceptual, purple shirted lieutenants,

Hmm... yeah, I like this.

----------

I want to recommend half as strong by Maria2394 © for the story it tells.

----------

 

[Rybka]

Thank you for the mention Eve, I think...

As I was saying yesterday, before I was attacked and rudely interrupted by the poetry police, Gin and tonic with bitters is my summer drink. It has been so warm recently (but still no leaf openings) that I switched from my winter libation until it gets cold again. This led to thoughts of island evenings in another life. (See: Sundowner)

FYI: Gin and soda water was initially added to quinine, which was the malaria preventative of choice, to make the taste less bitter and give you a reason to not forget to take your daily medicine. This practice originated among the British in South Africa, as did the “Sundowner” which is a shot of gin with a splash of bitters. The spreading color of the bitters reminds one of a tropical sunset. I just combined the two practices, although the combination is not original with me.
The words at the end of the first stanza are from the Angostura label.


Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[Guest]

Thank you W.E.

 

[Cordelia]

Re: Re: I leave for an hour...

PPS: Don't worry about it, Muffie. Maybe you can redeem it another day...

Oh, sure, Lauren. Easy for you to forgive...




Cordelia

(I hope I didn't step on any toes by doing a 2-day review. I'll shut up. Just give the word.)

 

[OT]

Wednesday's New Poems

A few that bubbled to the top, today. Don't forget to send feedback or vote, or even jump in here with an opinion or three.

--------------------
society's new herd by silken_dreammaid
silken never ceases to amaze me with her range of subjects. I couldn't bring myself to quote a part out of context. This one is for reading whole.

--------------------
The Word of the Day is UGLY by auntiehistamine
This one could be shorter and tighter, but I liked a couple of the strongly stated truths.

--------------------
I Remember You by HarleyGirl
Surrender of Innocence by HarleyGirl
HarleyGirl has two in the same style. I liked how she set up the "scenes", but she left me wishing the scenes themselves were written more "poetically" (whatever the heck that means )

--------------------
Good Old Time by Blackeyed Skye
This one is fun and short. I'll tease you with the opening line ... "Leggy Lola"

and another by the same author (Great title, interesting word choices inside, and short -- all qualities I like in poem):
Euphemistic Eugene by Blackeyed Skye

 

[Generally Bubba]

just read the circus poem....had to read it a few times to let it soak in, but I do like it!

 

[silken_dreammaid]

Thank you for the comments and notices over the last few days, sorry for the delay in responding to them all..time has been limited to barely enough to submit in..
~smiles~

and thanks to Laurel for the little 'e' thingy.


thanks again

silken

 

[Blackeyed Skye]

Thank you very much OT for the mention on this thread and for the feedback. It's much appreciated.

 

[HarleyGirl]

Thank you OT, for the mention, and praise~ but I am curious as to what 'more poetic' means?? Please elaborate so I can improve- or dissagree Thanx again!! ~HG~

 

[Cordelia]

New poems 5/1/03

Today's crop of new poetry shows us why the same poets keep getting mentioned here. It is because they write poetry laden with images and replete with word-art.

So, here are (in my opinion) the finest of today's poems, by some familiar poets.

Front parlour by guilty pleasure - haunting and wistful

pair by 03sp - once again, he shows us what erotic poetry is supposed to be

mermaid by silken_dreammaid - talk about imagery! I re-read this quite a few times

Nice poetry. Makes me want to go write.

Go read, and give feedback.


Cordelia

 

[Guest]

Thanks Cordy.



edited to add that the 2 other poems you mentioned are stellar.

 

[Guest]

Thank you
Cordelia
I mean
It much

 

[Angeline]

May 2

Tra la, it's May and here's a smattering of poetry for you. Ok, lol, more than, but there was lots of good stuff today.

First, two poems from Blackened Skye, a newer poet here whose work I'm really enjoying.

Insignificant Calamities

doors and drawers
catastrophes abound
head, knees
fingers and toes
no part of you is safe

This could have been writ about me on a klutzy day. A truism and well said.

Return to Lake See

No longer awash
between rippled glimpses,
I am now a watcher.

Our voyeur eyes drift
over fluid to flesh
till reclining forms press
the earth beneath.

Great imagery in this poem.

And your grace by Rybka

Time And your grace
is most healing
from dreams by the dell
where there I can see
just how dear she was
or watch the hawk climbing
and think nothing

Rybka, our resident fish, writes a lot of short punny puns, but every now and then he graces us with a lightly delicate piece like this one. Do read the whole poem: it's lovely.


Little drops by RazzRagen

Open. Taken. Given. Riven.
Slivered slowly
on slightly sharp sheets: silvered, sheened,
slithered slides, seemingly snug, slovenly, slatternly and sluttily, she showed she's
His.

Only His.

Cool and quirkily erotic from a poet whose work never disappoints--and I dig the alliteration!

Positive Passion by neonurotic

You say, "I'll teach you."
Vertex love, moon-eyed
in warm self-regard.
Feel whole in tenderness
Yes, I believe — "It's true."

Sated in positive passion
frees me to abandon loneliness
on tempestuous winds to
another wanton wasteland where
misery lives, without your compassion.

Another strong showing from neonurotic, a Lit poet whose work I look forward to reading. This poem is well-balanced and sweet--I love its sentiment (and look how he used "vertex"; very cool).

estelle by Maria 2394

soft leather lace-up boots
remnants of her youth, supple soft yet strong
worn thin where no one else can see
sole survivors

This is a terrific piece from a new poet--an odd lovely portrait of a woman who belongs to another time. Very visual--the above stanza alone is worth reading it.


Yours by silken_dreammaid

Yours are the hands
that hold my trust,
the eyes in my star,
the soul of my gift.

Just lovely, and the twist of words in the last few lines keeps the poem from feeling overweening.


And last, but by no means least, there were three entries today from 03sp, and I liked them all too much to pick just one.

by one smile at night all innocence

in a sharp corner
back to a world
curious to see her
straight runged
no cushion
only oak seat

This vignette is one of two examples from the poet of how one or two well-realized images can pack a wallop in a short poem.

green

there is no color
apart from green
which I smell
as clearly

green of today
follows same rut
and pebble path
old but rained

It's my favorite color, and its essence is captured here..


drinking own syrup

there are dogs and dogs
rabbit and tease
poet and perverse
pretense predicting
long haul desire

More abstract quirk and beauty from my poet pal. His poems are a pleasure to read.

 

[Blackeyed Skye]

Thank you so much, Angeline. I'm glad you are enjoying my writings. It means even more coming from a poet with your caliber of work.

 

[Rybka]

Thank you Angeline, but are you saying the my Haiku humor is only two thirds finny?

There is a new poet today that I think deserves a read and encouragement. “Valiant” gives us three today and this is from my favorite, Study of A Bird.

...
I started to live that summer.


I have seen Versailles and never seen a crack.

I have seen the Grand Canyon and not a speck of dirt

Sunsets and never a fly bite

and I have seen the beauty of life in the chaos, confusion and uncertainty of a delivery room.


And I have known deep deep love.

Regards,                                 Rybka