new poems

[Angeline]

Summer Night

Ditto Maria's praise of Senna's summer night. I thought it was beautifully written, descriptive, and visual and moving. If you haven't read it yet, you should--it's really good. And i hear is lovely as well. It's a great example of something Senna often does--writes with great precision so that even a very short poem presents a complex of images and ideas.

 

[Icingsugar]

Since no one else did, I can't let this tread go on without mentioning Destinie's Singing The Blues In A Glass House

This I liked a lot. A vivid imagery of a moment of magic in the harsh everyday. All painted with a few simple sentences. Gave me a fuzzy feeling.

 

[destinie21]

Since no one else did, I can't let this tread go on without mentioning Destinie's Singing The Blues In A Glass House

This I liked a lot. A vivid imagery of a moment of magic in the harsh everyday. All painted with a few simple sentences. Gave me a fuzzy feeling.

Thanks Ice,
You're just a doll, Warm fuzzies all around.

 

[Cordelia]

New poems 9/25/03

Good thing they made my job easier today, as I have just arrived home.

Only one poem posted today. Go read it on the new poems, if you are so inclined.

Exhausted,



Cordelia

 

[Icingsugar]

Ok, here goes, my first real New Shit post. I'll keep it brief.

A few picks of 9/26:

Pain by DragonsDarkElf
Cold, sharp, dark. Not uplifting at all. But not intended to be.

Sell Out by destinie21
Insightful attitude in a streetwise pacakge.

Mind Fire by diosdemoche
An erotic telegram. Sure, why not?

Kodiak Moment by denis hale
Cold place. Warm poem.

 

[champagne1982]

Ah, men!

like gunmetal-grey
coroner toreadors
draped on the dry ice
morgue locker

of Winter impending.

He's been to where I live. It's been cold here for a month.

Thankyou, denis hale for another Kodiak Moment

you sang into my empty heart
you danced into my empty rooms
opening windows
letting in air
cleaning out dust

A pre-winter cleaning brought to us by Icingsugar.

Let him ruin the silence in you.

They cry on such a joyous day?
The long awaited marriage to my lover.
I hear the goodbyes as we float away

Don't mourn this new poet diosdemoche.

It seems he's already written The Eulogy.

One day we rode to the mountain crest, I shot East, and he shot West.
I took to the streets, and the alley bars, while he spread babies, near and far.
With cum, and blood, he gained such fame,
throughout the West, they feared the name,
of Bunghole.

Buckitofooh makes me wanna lock up my daughters even before I have any babies.

Read the tongue-in-cheek offering The Ballad of Bunghole for a sick feeling and a naughty giggle!

 

[RazzRajen]

Hey guys and girls none of the new poetry today inspired that "get me in my gut" type emotion although His Feed by RazzRajen was noteable. This is just my two cents go to the new poems and check em out for yourself

Thanks destinie for noting *S*. Its always nice to be read.


Razz

 

[Angeline]

Friday, September 26

First off, kudos to everyone who is putting in time to critique poems. It's great to see the various reviews and good all around for this board! Our reviews are just opinions, after all, and seeing lots of them is, imo, the right perspective.

Ok. There are a lot of new poetry postings today. I liked a few and, of those, two made me say oooooh or whatever you say when poetry just carries you off.

Politics Between Friends by destinie21

"Yeah fuck me. Your purple mountains majesty sound more like strange fruit. There's blood on our hands and blood on the roof . I shoot my mouth off in every direction freedom of speech is my protection."


I'm not particularly into the slam-poetry sound. I think a lot of it moves in a very cool funky rhythm, but doesn't say much (just my taste in poetry, I guess). The poetry of destinie21 is a wonderful exception imo. Seems to me that she hasn't gotten the mention here she deserves (and des I apologize for my own oversight in not saying this sooner). des is a thinking person's poet; much of her work here is both musical and substantive and, to my ear, she speaks with a strong, authentically American voice. This poem is a wonderful example of that--raw, brash, and honest. But you really should take the time to read through all her poems here: read them out loud to feel their rhythm and think about what this woman has to say. She's saying things that need to be heard.


Kodiak Moment by denis hale.


The Cannery Boys they are
mostly waiting

for their flights
out of there-- pockets full
of four-month paycheck and pining
for the pale green-eyed girls of Autumn

back home in open air taverns
who catch first-falling leaf swirls
like brown-sugar snowflakes on fingertip
and tongue in the sun laughing.

Earlier this week denis posted One-Four-Five, which exploded on this site like a Roman candle. He can do that, we now know. His poems have a relentless, driving quality that seem, to me, rhythmically similar to the hard electric blues he loves. Kodiak Moment is--for denis, lol--a quieter piece, which I think really hits its stride beginning with the section shown above. I like this poem's relative calm though because it allows one to focus on his more subtle poetic strengths--for example, he uses alliteration and assonance so beautifully. Some writers just feel the natural music of language; you hear it in their phrasings. That quality, combined with his storyteller gift and ability to sustain a theme makes him a formidable poet, imo.

I also loved diosdemoche's The Eulogy, which is odd and creepy beautiful, RazzRajen's bittersweet Walkers (its last line "wind rocked" is dreamy), and Icingsugar's lovely The Silence.

Read, vote, and send feedback. Happy Weekend.
Ange

 

[Guest]

Re RazzRajen's "Walkers" ..

I just couldn't resist the impulse to rave about it, ever so quietly..smiles..

It is one of those pieces in which the imagery and words encourage both thought and emotion; at least they did in my case, lol.

Just my own very humble opinion.

ssilversong

 

[destinie21]

Thanks ang and ice I am really glad that my eork is being read and appreciated. I really only want to provoke thoughts

 

[Lauren Hynde]

27th September 2003

No poetry posted today. Go write some instead.

 

[Rybka]

Re: 27th September 2003

No poetry posted today. Go write some instead.

I agree, but there is one submission.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: Re: 27th September 2003

I agree, but there is one submission.

I never said there wasn't.

 

[Senna Jawa]

5 out of 6

Have a look:

  Konigsberg - View at Pregola River 1911


Recently I have posted 6 poems on Literotica, and 5 of them were well received by reviewers: Destinie21, Maria2394 and Angeline(no number attached) -- thank you to all three of you for your kind words. The sixth poem was liked by certain cruel judges outside Literotica so that I am not unhappy. It had two English errors which are already corrected. I'll save you a trip to the new poems page or mine own, and will post it below. I'd also like to thank m. for her two nice feedback letters from the past. I discovered them only yesterday (I rarely, almost never, check my Literotica email box, especially that I don't expect any mail there--well, I was wrong).

If there are any qs about my poems I'll try to answer (Marie wrote that some of my poems are not clear to her). Let me just mention that "poetry" is based on a tension between the statement made in the poem by the lyrical subject and the poem's effect. The subject makes a distinction between his everyday life and the poetry, but the poem shows that the whales and washers and dryers are members of the same poetic orchestra. "bridges of Konigsberg" are written like all my poems for any general audience but it is nice to know the story of these bridges and about Euler. Konigsberg is situated on the two banks of Pregola river and on two islands. The parts of the city are connected by seven bridges. Digression: "Seven" is an attractive number and often it is great to have it in a poem. In my poem it would be a superflous information which would only distract a reader. While poems should be concrete and sensual one should have no unnecessary information in a poem. Every piece of information should carry poetry, just like any other element of the poem. End of digression. The citizens of Konigsberg enjoyed their strolls across the bridges but nobody ever managed to walk over all of them without going through one of them twice. Leonard Euler proved that such a challenge is impossible. That's how he started the important branch of mathematics, called graph theory, which today has applications also to the computer science for which it is crucial. As you see, there is a harmonious symbiosis between poetry and mathematics (and science in general). "Einstein's Window" is a grand poem, there are not many like this one. Once again, it is written for a general audience but it's impact is greater if one associates the poem with the great man made catastrophies, with the death of the European Jewry. The Einstein's Jewishness adds an additional artistic moment--Einstein was nearly killed by the Nazis. This is the first time I've written about this poem and about its background. Let's remember that every specific instance is also a metaphor for all instances, and WWII Jewish fate is a metaphor for all tragedies on that scale. The poem was commented very nicely in the past on r.a.p., and the editor of the electronic magazine "Hawk" asked me to enter it into the Hawk's first issue--I was happy to oblige. (I think that "Hawk" is gone by now).

"Summer Night" & "[I see...]" were not only positively mentioned but also skillfully commented by Maria & Angeline, so that I will stop now.

Best regards,

Senna Jawa

******************************************



the winning ticket



    i've won a bundle on the lottery
    and now my colleagues explain to me
    what this money can buy

    they come to my office and sit
    on my table
    some joke that
    I should give them a chunk
    the amount depends
    on their sense of humor

    some are sensitive
    about my table
    it has no support under the edges
    they sit on the table anyway
    comfortable
    like at home  (like at home?)
    and they introduce me
    casually at first
    to their problems mishaps hardships
    and they tell me how fortunate
    i am in general and now
    they say
    you got lucky
    other deserving hard working people
    our friends
    never get a break

    i easily but seriously agree
    with all the occupants of my(?) table
    i smile and almost
    laugh at their funny jokes
    i carry on my shoulders
    the burden of humanity
    and my life is filled with meaning



Wlodzimierz Holsztynski
    1992-05-26 ©

 

[Rybka]

new poems on 9/28/03

Today we have 18 new submissions and one “spinner”. Here is the "golden oldie" that I found for this Sunday. (It took 7 spins to find this poem.)
Today's "Blast from the Past" is morning razor sunshine by Senna Jawa. When he is on; he is on!

end of March
spring
the exit road
from 280 to Gaudelupe
turns left up in the air
and green San Jose hills greet you--
what a view!
their northern slopes in snow

the car rolls right into Santa Clara street
and a peek-a-boo narrow "window"
onto the same green San Jose hills again

early spring
snow on the slopes

before i close
myself in my office
i tell the world
these hills
are mountains



wlodzimierz holsztynski ©
1995/03/24-04/02

To start us off, slowhand60 offers a simple and gentle love poem, rather unusual and well written for this site, The Fallen Ramparts.

Next air2o presents two short poems worth looking at: a finger puzzle and hand me down.

Then rustlerjo 1 shows us his Haiku 1. Not true to all the principles of pure Haiku, but faithful to the common 5-7-5 metre he completes some very nice imagery and concepts.

champagne1982 falls into the mood of the season with Autumn's Kiss.

Since I am a cyber fish I am a sucker for steve porter when he announces, "i want to swim in a sea of words".

Finally maria2394 proclaims her Tender feet make no music, but I'd be a horse's ass if I agreed with her.


Go read all of the above and vote and send feedback.
Then as usual, you are advised to go read all the rest of today's New Poetry, and make up and voice your own mind. I might have missed some poems that you may really enjoy.


Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[champagne1982]

Thankyou for the mention Rybka. Have a great day.

 

[darkmaas]

New Poems: Monday 29, 2003

I sighed
but Viola and Violetta
were pissed
that only five
saw fit to share
those precious pearls
of love and lust and lost love and lush lust lost
even though it's Monday
and even violets get the blues
especially when overindulgence
rears
an ugly alliterative head
(my tongue is swollen)

So read them all
and someone explain
what Razz means
I chased a dozen blue armed allusions
down as many rabbit holes
searching for enlightenment
but all I found was Alice
who also had the blues

I liked fabmax
cause I'm chilled and starlings
are so complicated

And Callibombe
who's apt to use a little Latin tongue
is busy hugging
trees
today instead

Read them all but
for your money
check out the recent threads
for a satisfying
blast
a romp
a bit of titillating rhyme

see denis and the angeline
share a mike
and riff so sweet
you gotta be tone deaf
if Tina doesn't get a rise

Viola blushed
woowoo's
freshly posted
might cure those blues

My cup
it runneth over
and yes
it is a double

Hey Fool
Methinks
it's time
you bought a round

darkmaas

 

[BooMerengue]

I know I'm the new kid and all, but I'm supposed to be studying... and that means questions... so...

Why is Callibombe's entry poetry and not prose? What defines each? I have a few pretty nice stories ... can I post them as poetry?

Calli- this is not personal- I liked what you wrote. But now I'm more losted than ever.

Whoever the editor du jour was the day I posted Incoherent allowed me to ruin a very nice piece by telling me it had to have punctuation and paragraphs. Had I known I would have posted it here instead... I need help...

 

[Maria2394]

Re: new poems on 9/28/03

Finally maria2394 proclaims her Tender feet make no music, but I'd be a horse's ass if I agreed with her.


Go read all of the above and vote and send feedback.
Then as usual, you are advised to go read all the rest of today's New Poetry, and make up and voice your own mind. I might have missed some poems that you may really enjoy.


Regards,                                 Rybka

Thank you very much for the mention, Rybka means a lot maria

 

[Angeline]

Boo I think the short answer is that people choose the category when they post, but in reality there is a subgenre of poetry, prose poetry, that is very much in vogue these days. My definition of poetry is this--if I think it is, it is. Once you venture outside traditional forms (e.g., sonnets and such), it all gets pretty hazy. For me writing that conveys what it has to say with images that I can feel, with poetic devices like metaphor, and with rhythmic or musical language is poetic, if not poetry. Lots of famous "prose" writers meet that criteria. Look at the passage from Virginia Woolf's Orlando that I excerpted in darkmaas's Michaelangelo thread. That, to me, is very beautiful poetry, but it's a paragraph from a novel. It's all art, eh?

 

[WickedEve]

New Poems 9-30

Maelstrom
by RazzRajen ©

and Yet her eyes rain down on Mine,
That look , that supplicant
Stopped in the Way

I enjoyed this poem, though at first, I didn't think I would. It seemed a bit too dark. After reading it again, I picked up on a D/s theme, but I could be wrong. So, go read it and see what it communicates to you.

-----

There are three new poems by perks. I remember the challenge that gave birth to Personal Circus Specific words needed to be used in the poem, which makes for an interesting read. Also, there's Kissing Classics and Stripping Revealed. Stripping is an interesting piece.
Firm swift man hands
ripping apart
my crisply starched boundaries
revealing
elusive facade
effervescent sighs
and muddled colors
to his soul windows.

-----

I'd like to mention a new poet, Toward A Word, who has five new poems, today. I found Poems And Porn to be quite original.
so do not hang your head, forlorn
mend your spirit, though it be deeply torn
mash your troubles up like corn
find your solace in poems and porn

And Your Exotic Candies is a simple little poem about some candies, but at the same time, it's more than just sweets.
I decided not to share them
I put them in my desk drawer

-----

I read one or two more that were pretty good, so please go explore the new poems thread.

 

[Guest]

Re: RazzRajen's Maelstrom:

It communicates, oh aye, it does...

 

[destinie21]

Here I am in my wedsdays best to critique the new poems.

Razzrajen does it again with Once and Far Away with rich words and dazzling imamgry. Please check it out and vote send feedback too.

An erotic poem by Southernswitch calledBalance of Power made me a little warmer on this frigid new york day and brought a smile to my jaded lips. It's nice to know people are in love. Course I'm in love too so my opinion may be a bit rose colored.

Another erotic poem struck me Make Me Dirty THe title was plesently misleading. Not at all what i expected kudos neonurotic for changing my hasty opinion.

And of course eff (FFreak) has presented us with another gemMaiden of the Press good work eff keep it coming doll.

As always read em all or read a bit, just read and send feedback if you're so inclined.

Regards The Mrs.

 

[ffreak]

Thank you, Mrs. D. I did not know if my latest would quite fit here at Lit or not. This makes me feel good.

I can't pick yet among all the wonderful poets I've read at this site, but I can say that I am inspired by what I find and am especially fond of the venting and profuse images from two of my favorite people, both Mrs. D and Mrs. Jones.

I've just discovered this thread, and I'll be using it to expand my reading. Thanks again.

-FF
ps; a favorite stanza from ms browning:
Men could not part us with their worldly jars,
Nor the seas change us, nor the tempests bend;
Our hands would touch for all the mountain-bars:
And, heaven being rolled between us at the end
from the Portuguese

pps. I can't believe I found a typo now in the next to last line it should say: "Our lovely young daughters have made our life sweet"

 

[Rybka]

As well as those mentioned by destinie21, I also enjoyed When You're With Me by Linbido, a new poet at Literotica.

Have you ever heard the trees
when they sing to you like thunder
Have you ever been like me
in a world that makes you think
about the texture of the waves
or the color of the wind
when the sun is dancing madly in the sea

You will when you're with me
...

Regards,                                 Rybka