new poems

[Guest]

Thanks...

Here I am in my wedsdays best to critique the new poems.
Another erotic poem struck me Make Me Dirty THe title was plesently misleading. Not at all what i expected kudos neonurotic for changing my hasty opinion.

Regards The Mrs.

Your welcome and thank you for the read and mention here as I appreciate it greatly.


neonurotic

 

[Guest]

re: RazzRajen's "Once and Far Away"

One of his simpler ones, but then again, simplicity is elegance. I liked it tremendously much, if you'll pardon the English.

ssong

 

[RazzRajen]

Re: New Poems 9-30

Maelstrom
by RazzRajen ©

I enjoyed this poem, though at first, I didn't think I would. It seemed a bit too dark. After reading it again, I picked up on a D/s theme, but I could be wrong. So, go read it and see what it communicates to you.

Thanks Eve, your words serve to always enlighten.

Glad you took that x'tra time

Razz

 

[RazzRajen]

Originally posted by destinie21 [/i]

Here I am in my wedsdays best to critique the new poems.

Regards The Mrs.

Thanks destinie, for making the time and taking the effort.. Always appreciated.

Razz

 

[RazzRajen]

re: RazzRajen's "Once and Far Away"

re: RazzRajen's "Once and Far Away"

One of his simpler ones, but then again, simplicity is elegance. I liked it tremendously much, if you'll pardon the English.

ssong

Thanks ssong for the kind mentions and your input.


Razz

 

[Linbido]

Rybka, thanks for the mention!
I'll rtry not to let you down with the next one.

 

[Cordelia]

New poems 10/02/03

Maybe I'm getting less tolerant in my old age (which will be older very soon <sigh>), but I found the typos in some of today's new poems to be very annoying. Almost made me stop reading.

Having put in my complaint, let me state that there were a couple of really good poems posted today.

My pick of the day is:

The Muse is an Avatar by denis hale

[...]
Halfway through
the first stanza
his cock

is hard enough
to split
the titanium ass crack
of the laptop, and

lightheaded,
he uses a 21 dot ellipse
to catch his breath
[...]

This man is an amazing poet. And he brings life to such a banal subject. Just when you thought you couldn't read another poem/story about cyber-relationships, denis brings a cynical twist to it. Thank you!

~~~~~~~
Then there is a beautifully illustrated poem:

In Ribbons by neonurotic

I thought it was a bit wordy, given the illustration could handle some of the work, but a fine poem, nevertheless. And a wonderful picture!

~~~~~~~
And, finally, a list of poems that struck me as potentially good, but lacking editing (TYPOS!!!!), tightening, or just some re-writing.

A Choice To Cover Me by JasperMan

Good, but the typos were hard for me to overlook. Please look up the difference between "waist" and "waste," and between "bare" and "bear" -- and watch those apostrophes (or lack, thereof)!! Also, the note would be better put at the end of the poem, or posted on a thread. I found it distracting. Otherwise, a fine start with some imagery.

Carrington by Tristesse

I found this compelling because I have always been fascinated by Dora Carrington. This poem has something to say, and I think this poet could tighten this up and turn this into a great poem. Not one of her best poems, but definitely worth reading.

Queen Medb (Maeve) by LiamSheckler

Hmmm...the more I read it, the more I like it. But the first reading was a bit confusing.
~~~~~~~

A good day for new poems. But go check for yourself. And give feedback. And vote if the spirit moves you.


Cordelia

 

[ffreak]

I kept sifting through the story threads, wondering how you all survived the exhausting search for new poetry and finally noticed the link (way too far down the list of interesting subjects) today.

If anyone else wants to go there here's the link:
New Poems

So now I have more material to read, but it's much higher on my list of what I'll see. Yay!

-FF (there's a poem in here somewhere - maybe I'll submit it - the epiphany of a lost poet)

 

[denis hale]

Cordelia Review

Thank you Cordelia, for the high praise!

I hope the poem didn't sound too cynical. I honestly wasn't trying to come across as such. A little, maybe.

Anyways,

Thanks again,

dh

 

[Guest]

Re: New poems 10/02/03

~~~~~~~
Then there is a beautifully illustrated poem:

In Ribbons by neonurotic

I thought it was a bit wordy, given the illustration could handle some of the work, but a fine poem, nevertheless. And a wonderful picture!

~~~~~~~

Cordelia

Thank you Cordelia. I appreciate the time and mention here.


neonurotic...

 

[Guest]

Thank you

for mentioning my poem. Cordelia. I agree with you that it needs more work. I also heartily agree with you're opinion of denis hale and neonurotic's poems.

 

[Guest]

Thanks for the new poetry link, ffreak, I needed it tooo..

ssong

 

[Angeline]

October 3

It's a slow day for new poems. There are few enough posts today that you can read ‘em all and see what you like.

Yes a verrrry slow day for new poems. But that's okay because it's a silver lining, an opportunity to consider something that maybe occurs to you as it has of late to me.

Every once in a while a poet wanders into Literotica and sweeps us off our trochaic (so to speak) feet. When I started posting here, smithpeter was in the process of being anointed. When I wrote disposa girl, I got ridiculous accolades and earned the attention of a number of people who were dying to tell me that a) whatever it is I write, it ain't poetry and b) whatever it is I write, it ain't so good.

So be it. And now we have denis hale, who is a very nice man and who is in my educated (I like to think) opinion a gifted writer, who will probably be on our bookshelves eventually. I'm glad. I like him and would be sincerely thrilled to see him (or any of the talent here) recognized by someone who can actually pay for poems

But y'know when the Beatles came out there were also the Stones, the Animals, and the Yardbirds. Not to mention Lester Young and Mozart, who had been around somewhat longer. I love reading denis’ flights of poetic fantasy, and await the twists and turns of a new poem from him like I guess we all do. But I also love

nothing in common from smithpeter, who to me paints words like Picasso in a bright beautiful artistic confusion--

animals on parade
walking single file
elephant, giraffe, baboon
their makeup blurring
dripping to sawdust floor

it was a cool day that wind
blew the map out the top
down caprice,
the sky was stupid when asked
directions this time,
usually it responds at once
with breeze shoved cloud arrows,
it was wide open wander time.

tiger kisses lion along length of captivity
kitty whiskers entwine, stream of follicle

AND

Into the Mountains from Wicked Eve, who can conjure poetry with narrative like backwoods roots conjure magic

She sways,
naked limbs flailing,
hair cobweb tangled
from denting ceiling --
plaster peeling.
He's rocking, red-eyed,
creaking the boards
and spinning a tale --
a spider webbing Pru
with strands of madness.

AND

The Stylization of Self from Lauren Hynde who must have a very old soul in that gorgeous young body to write such a poem at her age (and not even in her native language!!!!!)

Our semi-metallic body parts interact in new junctions.
You slap me, try to force your flaccid penis into my vagina,
middle finger looking for my anus along the parabola of my cleft,
your empty face clicks on and off in masks of anger and distress.
Your semen runs down my left thigh onto the pool
of sweat and synthesized intimacy soaking the silk sheets below.
Your head swings in my direction, as if remembering,
but you are silent:
it doesn't really matter for people like you.

For people like us

Our space is minimalist,
anonymous and functionalist to the core,
a colourless
frozen reminder of texture,
and torn pages of countless novels
line the wall over our bed,
a chill sterility of words,
a chill sterility of us.

AND

Hoofin Beat fo Dah Masses from the of-late absent JUDO who writes the most seamless poems in forms so complicated they'll cross your eyes.

Heel-toe steel bustin' up the floor
To an inner beat that cries for more.
In on the flim-flam, dancin' in a new jam
Flyin' off the screws, jammin' to the blues.

Coltrane runnin' red down the block,
Trippin' over sixteenths countin' down the clock.
Feets a-keep movin', heart strikes a groove in
Everybody's pelvis, cold rockin' like Elvis.

Shock, dismay! Hip, hip, hip, hooray!
Yeah, break a rule! Keep it flowin' real cool!
Should we call in for the policeman's order?
What do we do when we do down in the Quarter?


and those are just a few examples. There's Senna Jawa's sly deconstructed poetry, Rybka's visual word puzzles, Cordelia's glowing, multifaceted poems, and terrific stuff from gifted newer folk like neonurotic, maria2394, and champagne1982--the list goes on and on.

There are so many wonderful poets who have passed through this site. On a slow day like today, discover poetry here anyway. There's so much that's good in so many different ways.

Have a great weekend! Peace,
Ange


P.S. If I didn’t mention you, it’s because I got tired of looking up links. Whoever you are, I love you, too.

 

[The_Fool]

Re: October 3

P.S. If I didn’t mention you, it’s because I got tired of looking up links. Whoever you are, I love you, too.

Ya right. Give me that Disposa Girl anytime....

 

[Icingsugar]

Like Angeline said, not many new poems, but for those still too lazy to skim through the handful of today, here's one that caught my eye:

Into this world I've stumbled by SavgeWolf tells the story of a very very lost soul. Who and what the first person of this piece is you'll have to figure out by yourself, but the imagery still speaks a haunting language.

 

[Angeline]

Ya right. Give me that Disposa Girl anytime....

Her? She staggered home the other morning mumbling something about trucks and blues radio and gin. I've sent her off for a sleep cure.

 

[Rybka]

Good Poets at Lit.

Thanks for the mention Ange.

But I write now to mention a poet that I have somehow missed. He will be my choice for the "Golden Oldie Spinner" on Sunday, but I bring him forward now because of your post.

...
There are so many wonderful poets who have passed through this site. On a slow day like today, discover poetry here anyway. There's so much that's good in so many different ways.
...

I recommend that everyone who has not already done so, go read the works of Smaugfire.

Here are my words for Sunday:
I was so surprised when I first read this poem. How did I miss it before? How did I miss this poet before? One whose submissions are non-erotic and far different from the normal slop so common on Literotica. I have even stolen a potential title from it, "Ice-cream Flavored Bombs".
People have been talking about slams and coffeehouse readings, well, this is a good one for those milieus, as are a lot of his work.

As per Angeline's Friday post, here is another poet who deserves to be more widely read. Go do it!
I am only sad that there are no new poems by Smaugfire since last November.

You will have to wait till Sunday to see which poem first caught my attention!

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[Angeline]

I recommend that everyone who has not already done so, go read the works of Smaugfire.

Rybka, honest to god talk about serendipity! I got a note from smaug yesterday--who I haven't heard from in months. He's lurking around here somewhere (hi smaug, lol), and maybe will post again. I agree. He's great!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: October 3

It's a slow day for new poems. There are few enough posts today that you can read ‘em all and see what you like.

The Stylization of Self from Lauren Hynde who must have a very old soul in that gorgeous young body to write such a poem at her age (and not even in her native language!!!!!)

Thanks for mentioning my little poem, Ange, and also for the truly awesome selection of poetry. You picked a lot of my personal favourites.

Of course you did forget one poet in particular, author of gems like Nightingale, Lester Leaps In, and so many wonderful others.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I'm feeling a bit cheated, by the way, because one of my poems was posted today, but it somehow got yesterday's date (and I only submitted it very late last night, so this is really incomprehensive--fastest approval of an illustrated submission ever...)

Anyway, the rewritten and illustrated version of Prodigal of Blue was thrown into the bottom of yesterday's list and probably went unnoticed to the lot of you. Hasn't received any votes yet, at least...

 

[Angeline]

I'm feeling a bit cheated, by the way, because one of my poems was posted today, but it somehow got yesterday's date (and I only submitted it very late last night, so this is really incomprehensive--fastest approval of an illustrated submission ever...)

Anyway, the rewritten and illustrated version of Prodigal of Blue was thrown into the bottom of yesterday's list and probably went unnoticed to the lot of you. Hasn't received any votes yet, at least...

Well *this* is the official recommendation to read Lauren's gorgeously illustrated Prodigal of Blue. In fact I whole-heartedly recommend you read all of Lauren's poems because even though she ain't above offering you a cheap thrill to get you onto her page, she's a gifted writer. And you know there's nothing wrong with a gratuitous ploy now and then, so go read her poems, all 69 of them.

 

[Angeline]

falsepost

aaah-chooo. damn allergies!

 

[Guest]

I'm feeling a bit cheated, by the way, because one of my poems was posted today, but it somehow got yesterday's date (and I only submitted it very late last night, so this is really incomprehensive--fastest approval of an illustrated submission ever...)

Anyway, the rewritten and illustrated version of Prodigal of Blue was thrown into the bottom of yesterday's list and probably went unnoticed to the lot of you. Hasn't received any votes yet, at least...

I'm glad you self-promoted on that one Lauren as I did miss it. Excellent poetry and I loved the the art that went with it too.



neonurotic

 

[smithpeter]

scroll backlash

all thanks to Angeline for notice.
Her support for many poets in these last years is happily noted.
i smile and aim arrows at my own forgetfulness.
why aim at sky?
there is nothing up there.
just more sky

 

[WickedEve]

Hey, Ange, thanks for digging up Pru's bones in the mountains. W.E. hasn't been on the new poems list in a long, long time. Though, you did fail to mention Elda's ass poetry. tsk tsk