Not a topic I even like thinking about...

[Eilan]

i personally would support intensive brainwashing. of course, if you've seen clockwork orange, that might not be entirely desirable in actuality...

Lovely, lovely Ludwig Van.

I'd support sodomizing rapists with a red-hot tire iron.

If my daughters or I were raped, I can say without a doubt that my husband would be waiting for the rapist to get out of prison. Assuming, of course, that said individual survived long enough to go to trial.

 

[silverwhisper]

given what he did for a living, that's an excellent point.

ed

 

[HotKittySpank]

i personally would support intensive brainwashing. of course, if you've seen clockwork orange, that might not be entirely desirable in actuality...

ed

That totally flashed through my mind while I was writing yesterday!

 

[Guest]

 

[warrior queen]

I hope this helps someone out there. The FBI's website has links to each state's and DC's sex offender registry. You can find it here .

i think these registry's do much more harm than good.

for a start, a quick look at the list shows just how many are out in society, and then there's the whole 'OMG, there's one living in the next street to me!' aspect.

makes survivors of sexual abuse endure the panic thing while eroding their peace of mind yet again, sometimes years later.

not that i mind that there's a list..... coz then revenge is always an option.....

 

[AppleBiter]

i think these registry's do much more harm than good.

for a start, a quick look at the list shows just how many are out in society, and then there's the whole 'OMG, there's one living in the next street to me!' aspect.

makes survivors of sexual abuse endure the panic thing while eroding their peace of mind yet again, sometimes years later.

not that i mind that there's a list..... coz then revenge is always an option.....

Be that as it may, I feel that it's a HUGE help because I'm sure that victims would be very glad to know that others (including themselves) might be spared pain and misery by knowing the names and faces of those who have been previously convicted of sex crimes so that they can better protect themselves and those they love.

Regardless of fear, ignorance is never truly bliss. I, for one, would rather know.

Just my two cents.

 

[warrior queen]

Be that as it may, I feel that it's a HUGE help because I'm sure that victims would be very glad to know that others (including themselves) might be spared pain and misery by knowing the names and faces of those who have been previously convicted of sex crimes so that they can better protect themselves and those they love.

Regardless of fear, ignorance is never truly bliss. I, for one, would rather know.

Just my two cents.

i'd rather they were never released in the first place.
that was the point i was trying to make.

but i guess in our nicely-liberal-give-everyone-a-second-chance-regardless society, we survivors simply do not have a choice.

(note: i use the term survivor, in preference to 'victim'. i am NOT a victim, nor do i have a victim-mentality. i HATE it when everyone refers to us as somehow 'damaged goods" by using such a derogatory term.)

 

[AppleBiter]

i'd rather they were never released in the first place.
that was the point i was trying to make.

but i guess in our nicely-liberal-give-everyone-a-second-chance-regardless society, we survivors simply do not have a choice.

(note: i use the term survivor, in preference to 'victim'. i am NOT a victim, nor do i have a victim-mentality. i HATE it when everyone refers to us as somehow 'damaged goods" by using such a derogatory term.)

I'm a Criminal Justice major, so the word "victim" is not used to imply weakness, but as a description of someone against whom a crime was perpetrated. I'm a survivor, too, and it (the word "victim") doesn't bother me because I don't feel that it implies anything except for the fact that I had a crime perpetrated against me, but to each their own.

I don't think they should be given a second chance either (I've posted on this topic earlier!), but they are and that sucks shit. However, since our government sees fit to release these bastards, I think it's better that I know where the hell they are for my own safety and the safety of others. That's what I'm trying to say.

 

[Z_Omega]

My ex girlfriend of 3 years was forcibly raped ... just outside a club a total stranger forced her into the back of a car driven by his friend ... She was dropped off several blocks away having not inflicted any additional physical abuse. "Gentleman Rapist" is the term the counselors used.

I am ashamed to this day of the damage I no doubt caused in those hours immediately after it happened when I found out. I accused her, and doubted her and used the fact that she didn't want to report it to back me up. Truth is, I knew she was telling the truth...she never lied to me.

Her friend and I pushed her and pushed her untill she called and they came and took her to the hospital. The weeks following were more about my lust for revenge and misplaced rage than anything else...screaming at law enforcement for their casual approach (case officially closed without so much as a suspect being named).

Everyone told me that my reaction and behavior was to be expected and was "perfectly nortmal" ... I couldn't prepare for such a thing but I won't excuse the fact that I only added more hurt to the one person I truly loved.

 

[Guest]

 

[AppleBiter]

I certainly don't mean to cause anyone any more pain than they have already had, but I am trying to possibly help someone from else from suffering. Thanks.

I appreciate the effort, Scalywag. I think that helping someone else from suffering is the whole point of lists like those.

 

[SweetErika]

(note: i use the term survivor, in preference to 'victim'. i am NOT a victim, nor do i have a victim-mentality. i HATE it when everyone refers to us as somehow 'damaged goods" by using such a derogatory term.)

I agree...at least for me, living through the aftermath of a rape truly WAS an act of survival. With PTSD, I sat up many, many nights in pain so unbearable I wanted to die; the capable, happy, hopeful, sexual young woman I was before had died. But with time, a lot of counseling, hard work, and support, I survived and was able to get some of that back. I'm still surviving.

It doesn't bother me as much when someone else refers to rape/crime "victims" but it bothers me to say it about myself or others because I don't feel "victim" speaks to the ongoing horror or strength it takes to make it. People who are murdered are victims, but all of us have fought like hell to not let it kill us in some, or every, way. The idea that, 'Oh, it was horrible, but it's over, and doesn't affect a lot of women that much' has been conveyed to me, and I associate that kind of thought with "victim."

 

[Ms_Lilith]

My university has a group called "Men Against Sexualized Violence". There are a few women on the panel in that group, to provide perspective, experience, and emotional interpretation, but it's basically a group of men that are horrified at what's happening to women, and who want to work with the community, to educate men about violence, abuse, rape, behaviour, and resources.

In my first and second years of university, I was one of the women on the panel... I'm amazed at what a wonderful group of men they were.

 

[hook848]

My heart goes out to everyone in this thread. I wish you all the best.

 

[HotKittySpank]

Hey Hook, what you just said sounds really good to me. Sometimes the further we get down the road the harder it becomes to breach the topic. The sorry, and the I'm there for you and care about you would probably make your friend feel loved. You would feel better too.

 

[HotKittySpank]

Regarding the list... Recently found out there is a guy on the list about a mile down the road. At least i know where he is.

I live in a big city. They are everywhere! We moved from a house with a released rapist two doors down(his 'victim' still lived with her parents right around the corner) to a house with a child molester that recently moved into a rental house across the street. Literally, little kids live next door to him and across the street from him. Is that right?

Unfortunately, there is no place to go in a large city where you are not surrounded by sex offenders of various offenses.