ok you male subs

[snowy ciara]

~~smile~~ thank you ciara it is going to be interesting to see the different responses before I add My two cents...but one thing I will say now...this is a common ocurrence in My home...

May I ask which part? The staying home to work part (something that most likely wouldn't bother me) or the deliberate exclusion for no particular reason after being told they were included (somethign that would), or exclusion as punishment for some sort of misdeed (something that again would not bother me, much. Or rather, something that makes me angry at myself but not at You)?

 

[SweetDommes]

May I ask which part? The staying home to work part (something that most likely wouldn't bother me) or the deliberate exclusion for no particular reason after being told they were included (somethign that would), or exclusion as punishment for some sort of misdeed (something that again would not bother me, much. Or rather, something that makes me angry at myself but not at You)?

For us, the first scenario and the third would happen, the second I can't imagine would ever happen unless there was some outside occurrance (meaning that it wouldn't just happen on our whim).

 

[onceburned]

I guess this is really the problem that I am facing ... would it make any of you feel like you were submitting to the wrong person? In our case, he submits to both of us, I submit to her ... I worry that he will begin to feel that I'm not domnant enough and that I'm not worthy of him submitting to me

I think I would see it in military terms- there is a hierarchy among officers. My Lieutenant is my Lieutenant. I would follow her orders, give her respect and yes admiration. She would have my loyalty.

My Lieutenant is obediant to higher ranking officers. Perhaps they are in my chain of command - getting my loyalty as well as my obediance. But I am not going to think any less of my Lieutenant for her obediance to them.

The danger would come from the relative amount of time I spend with both officers. if I spend more time serving under my Lieutenant rather than say my Major I am going to feel a greater connection to her. Service is a bonding experience.

But if I spend equal amounts of time in service to both the Major and the Lieutenant I could see where I would begin to favor the person with the greater power.

But I am extrapolating and speculating. I hope anyone with real-world experience of serving a domme who submits to another will speak up.

 

[Netzach]

Posting about SweetDomme's concern, I think that people who have an inordinate amount of angst over submitting to a switch, or someone who submits, or someone who has submitted and is honest about it -- well I think they are basically wearing their own insecurities about *their* submission on their sleeve, you know?

If you don't think there's anything shameful, bad, or "upsetting" about your submission to Holly, then you certainly should not tolerate that attitude in your own submissive or potential submissive. I've been more flexible in my orientation in the past, and in the event that I ever am again, I'm very keen on this issue myself, and I gauge the reactions of any potential when I talk about my bottom experiences.

 

[Aeroil]

If your Mistress leaves you at home with a long list of chores and goes out for the day to enjoy the sun would you complete the list happily for Her pleasure or sullenly because you think you should be with Her? Why?

I'm not a very social person in the first place, so I'm perfectly happy just staying home, I really wouldn't mind.

 

[AAkasha]

I'm not a very social person in the first place, so I'm perfectly happy just staying home, I really wouldn't mind.

I guess you'd be ok as long as she wasn't having you clean house to get ready for her having five girlfriends over that evening to show them how she amuses herself with you...

Akasha

 

[Aeroil]

I guess you'd be ok as long as she wasn't having you clean house to get ready for her having five girlfriends over that evening to show them how she amuses herself with you...

Akasha

hahaha! Well then I'd be too busy being scared out of my wits all day to be sullen.

 

[landcruisergal]

Posting about SweetDomme's concern, I think that people who have an inordinate amount of angst over submitting to a switch, or someone who submits, or someone who has submitted and is honest about it -- well I think they are basically wearing their own insecurities about *their* submission on their sleeve, you know?

If you don't think there's anything shameful, bad, or "upsetting" about your submission to Holly, then you certainly should not tolerate that attitude in your own submissive or potential submissive. I've been more flexible in my orientation in the past, and in the event that I ever am again, I'm very keen on this issue myself, and I gauge the reactions of any potential when I talk about my bottom experiences.

This is an issue my sub has, not so much that I am a switch, but that my submission to my PYL will always be my primary concern.He was aware at the conception that this would be the case and accepted it, but as time goes on he is very uncomfortable with any references to "him". Last time he was here, my PYL happened to call, and my pup asked repeatedly to leave the room. Hearing me respond as expected of me, (" yes master") is very hard for him to swallow. The fact that the 3 of us havent shared a scene as yet, and the fact that it will occur soon, is scaring the pants off him. Despite the fact that I have promised to protect him, even under those circumstances.
But I have told him he will have to deal with it, and I am not going to modify my behaviour for his benefit, so its either get over it or go.
I will not forego my responisbilities as his PYL.He has to trust me.
..back to lurking..

 

[Shadowsdream]

May I ask which part? The staying home to work part (something that most likely wouldn't bother me) or the deliberate exclusion for no particular reason after being told they were included (somethign that would), or exclusion as punishment for some sort of misdeed (something that again would not bother me, much. Or rather, something that makes me angry at myself but not at You)?

It is the staying at home and doing the tasks as given that is common in My home. But once again I choose My submissives and slaves with this in mind. It is not about exclusion it is about inclusion as they have fantasies of this very scenerio...so it works well for all of U/us as this is My reality.

Generally I do not punish by leaving My toys behind though I will leave the building long enough to cool off if I am really angry.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Goodness, I wouldn't be in service to her if I did not want her to be happy. If she considered her happiness to require my company, she would ask for it. If her happiness required that I do chores alone, I would do them.

Its a question of taking pleasure from being pleasing. I would want to please the woman I serve. This is a foundation of my happiness and, hopefully, would increase her happiness as well.

I think that you have a very good attitude which as a Domme I would find both pleasing and delightful.

 

[snowy ciara]

It is the staying at home and doing the tasks as given that is common in My home. But once again I choose My submissives and slaves with this in mind. It is not about exclusion it is about inclusion as they have fantasies of this very scenerio...so it works well for all of U/us as this is My reality.

Generally I do not punish by leaving My toys behind though I will leave the building long enough to cool off if I am really angry.

Way cool. So no, a Master or Mistress of me that left me with a to do list while They went off to do whatever wouldn't be upsetting, I don't think. Actually, it's well known that when I'm "spinning", that is, going into a hyperactive phase, I need that sort of structure to stay sane. I'm not proud of the issue, but the issues there.

 

[SweetDommes]

Thanks

to everyone who replied to my question.

I have talked to Holly about it now, and we will be working on it. I don't know what to do about if potentials have issues with it, but I do know that so far, none have mentioned it ... but a lot have vanished (of course, they were doing that before I started subbing to Holly full-time, so if I can keep my paranoia in check, I can logically reason out that the dynamics between Holly and me are not the reason).

I just hope that we can find the right male sub to round out our family soon, the search is just too stressful for me anymore ...

 

[Aeroil]

to everyone who replied to my question.

I have talked to Holly about it now, and we will be working on it. I don't know what to do about if potentials have issues with it, but I do know that so far, none have mentioned it ... but a lot have vanished (of course, they were doing that before I started subbing to Holly full-time, so if I can keep my paranoia in check, I can logically reason out that the dynamics between Holly and me are not the reason).

I just hope that we can find the right male sub to round out our family soon, the search is just too stressful for me anymore ...

*nods* yeah I read your journal thingy on collarme a while back, it sounds stressful indeed, so good luck with that, and I hope you don't lose sight of why you're looking.

 

[onceburned]

I think that you have a very good attitude which as a Domme I would find both pleasing and delightful.

Thank you.

My desire/need to please, which I keep in check in the vanilla world, is why I need to be selective as I search for a domme.

It is important that there be a very good fit between us as individuals. I need a strong sense of connection to her. If I am devoted to the one I serve, then the work and 'sacrifice' I make for her will be satisfying because it is for her.

And of course, if she chooses to reward me... well, I am not going to complain.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Way cool. So no, a Master or Mistress of me that left me with a to do list while They went off to do whatever wouldn't be upsetting, I don't think. Actually, it's well known that when I'm "spinning", that is, going into a hyperactive phase, I need that sort of structure to stay sane. I'm not proud of the issue, but the issues there.

"Here is your list now get to work I am going out for a few hours" is also one way of giving a hyper sub some space and some focus to wear off excess energy.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Thank you.

My desire/need to please, which I keep in check in the vanilla world, is why I need to be selective as I search for a domme.

It is important that there be a very good fit between us as individuals. I need a strong sense of connection to her. If I am devoted to the one I serve, then the work and 'sacrifice' I make for her will be satisfying because it is for her.

And of course, if she chooses to reward me... well, I am not going to complain.

I have a feeling if you choose the right Domme complaining wouldn't do you any good anyways ~~grin~~.
A strong connection is so worth waiting for...too many subs accept any connection and hope it will develope after a relationship begins.

 

[Shadowsdream]

ok boys another question for you...actually the same question the girls are mulling over now.
When your Dominant says "Good Boy!" to you what happens to you emotionally? To you that have not yet been owned how do you think these words would make you feel?

 

[Alt]

My boys all have one fantasy (all have tasted the reality) of being in a room full of My Dominant Women friends and having to serve and obey while being objectified used and humiliated in one way or another...any of you boys have the same fantasy or reality to discuss with Me?

I have a fantasy of being a waiter to a room full of Dominant Women at a toy/lingerie show. Not only waiting on Their wants and wishes, but also to be used in testing out what ever toys and lingerie of Their choice.

 

[Alt]

I have a question for the guys ...

How would you feel about being sub to someone who is a sub to someone else? LCG has mentioned the situation that she has, and we are in a similar one (I am submissive to Holly, but the boys are submissive to both of us). Would you think any less of the Switch ... would you be less submissive to the Switch than to the one who was Dominant to both you and the Switch?

Not just any Domme or Switch gains my submission. I might be more sub to a Swtich than a Domme.

 

[Alt]

If your Mistress leaves you at home with a long list of chores and goes out for the day to enjoy the sun would you complete the list happily for Her pleasure or sullenly because you think you should be with Her? Why?

As evidenced by past history- happily.

 

[Alt]

ok boys another question for you...actually the same question the girls are mulling over now.
When your Dominant says "Good Boy!" to you what happens to you emotionally? To you that have not yet been owned how do you think these words would make you feel?

I feel good all over, as if I am being stroked from deep inside.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I have a fantasy of being a waiter to a room full of Dominant Women at a toy/lingerie show. Not only waiting on Their wants and wishes, but also to be used in testing out what ever toys and lingerie of Their choice.

That is a good fantasy! Instructed not to spill a drop in a champagne glass waiting to be delivered as you are waylaid to bare the brunt of a new cane...hmmm sounds delicious!

 

[Shadowsdream]

I feel good all over, as if I am being stroked from deep inside.

~~smile~~ what a lovely way of putting it. Concise but full of depth.

 

[Alt]

That is a good fantasy! Instructed not to spill a drop in a champagne glass waiting to be delivered as you are waylaid to bare the brunt of a new cane...hmmm sounds delicious!

It is difficult enough to find one Domme, let alone a room full. Oh but how the fantasy remains strong and vivid.

 

[Alt]

~~smile~~ what a lovely way of putting it. Concise but full of depth.

*looks down with shy embarassment* Thank You!