ok you male subs

[Shadowsdream]

Hey, you already know some of us

And yeah ... SD is a fabulous person to get to know and use as a resource for info (even for those of us who aren't serving her ) ... it's nice to know people who have been in the lifestyle long-term are willing to help those of us who are still starting out.

Hello SweetDommes...thank You for the kind words...I have enjoyed watching Your journey which appears to be unflagging...I appreciate that determination to enjoy every single moment of Domination!

 

[roosterado9]

This is not something I know anything about so what I am about to type is pure speculation. But I think its possible to have an interest in doing something without having the skillsets to pull it off.

And perhaps we should draw a distinction between dominating someone and topping someone. I think it is possible for someone to be a good top (the dominant partner in a session) and yet be a lousy Dom/me (which is more long-term and relationship based).

this is good stuff I have a real interest in topping a woman in love making[session] [and being topped]but the personailty for day in day out Dom or Sub I think not

 

[SweetDommes]

I have a question for the guys ...

How would you feel about being sub to someone who is a sub to someone else? LCG has mentioned the situation that she has, and we are in a similar one (I am submissive to Holly, but the boys are submissive to both of us). Would you think any less of the Switch ... would you be less submissive to the Switch than to the one who was Dominant to both you and the Switch?

Honestly, this is one of my main concerns in this. I'm afraid that ghosst, despite all of his statements otherwise, will eventually cease to be submissive to me and only submit to Holly. I also sometimes have trouble switching gears going from interacting with Holly to interacting with him, which complicates matters. *sigh* I'm also beginning to wonder if the dynamics are why we are having so much trouble finding another boy ... if maybe they don't respect me enough as a Domme because I submit to Holly ...

 

[onceburned]

Would you think any less of the Switch ... would you be less submissive to the Switch than to the one who was Dominant to both you and the Switch?

Honestly, this is one of my main concerns in this. I'm afraid that ghosst, despite all of his statements otherwise, will eventually cease to be submissive to me and only submit to Holly.

Is ghosst showing signs of losing respect for you, or lessening in his submission to you? Or is simply a nagging worry?

I have not been in the situation of submitting to a switch. I was in communication once with a domme, who later revealed that she submitted to another domme. This forced me to think about it. I will share my thoughts but I first want to let the guys with experience speak up.

 

[SweetDommes]

Is ghosst showing signs of losing respect for you, or lessening in his submission to you? Or is simply a nagging worry?

I have not been in the situation of submitting to a switch. I was in communication once with a domme, who later revealed that she submitted to another domme. This forced me to think about it. I will share my thoughts but I first want to let the guys with experience speak up.

90% nagging worry, 10% misinterpretation of things based on the nagging worry (at least, I keep telling myself I'm just misinterpreting things ... I do have a history of paranoia and I have to keep that in mind).

 

[Xelebes]

I would imagine that I would be leaning to the one who doms me as opposed to the one who is domming my dom - though submissiveness would be expressed to both. Just varying quantities.

 

[Aeroil]

I have a question for the guys ...

How would you feel about being sub to someone who is a sub to someone else? LCG has mentioned the situation that she has, and we are in a similar one (I am submissive to Holly, but the boys are submissive to both of us). Would you think any less of the Switch ... would you be less submissive to the Switch than to the one who was Dominant to both you and the Switch?

Honestly, this is one of my main concerns in this. I'm afraid that ghosst, despite all of his statements otherwise, will eventually cease to be submissive to me and only submit to Holly. I also sometimes have trouble switching gears going from interacting with Holly to interacting with him, which complicates matters. *sigh* I'm also beginning to wonder if the dynamics are why we are having so much trouble finding another boy ... if maybe they don't respect me enough as a Domme because I submit to Holly ...

I think the only issue I'd have would be the Poly thing, if I could get past that then the chain of command wouldn't bother me I'm sure.

 

[SweetDommes]

I would imagine that I would be leaning to the one who doms me as opposed to the one who is domming my dom - though submissiveness would be expressed to both. Just varying quantities.

The thing is, with this situation, it isn't that the boy is mine and I am hers - I am hers, and the boy is ours. That is how most seem to work though ... I guess I have to figure out how to translate it to our situation.

 

[Xelebes]

The thing is, with this situation, it isn't that the boy is mine and I am hers - I am hers, and the boy is ours. That is how most seem to work though ... I guess I have to figure out how to translate it to our situation.

True, in your scenario is different. Though I usually view it as dom letting his fsub dom me. I usually don't submit well to men - atleast in the sexual manner.

 

[Xelebes]

Also, if it were to sub to both of you and you were the bottom to the other girl, then I can see myselfsubmitting to both but I guess I would actually have difficulty seeing there a deficit in dominance or not.

 

[Shadowsdream]

If your Mistress leaves you at home with a long list of chores and goes out for the day to enjoy the sun would you complete the list happily for Her pleasure or sullenly because you think you should be with Her? Why?

 

[onceburned]

I was in communication once with a domme, who later revealed that she submitted to another domme. This forced me to think about it.

Well, I have given it about a day so I will go ahead and offer my thoughts, inexperienced though they may be.

I think I would have no problem serving a domme who submitted to another domme - so long as I did not see some form of gross abasmement such as crawling on the floor to lick her feet. My domme showing respect to another domme... perfectly acceptable to me. But I think I have a need to view my domme as strong and independent. I want to be able to look up to her, to be able to rely on her strength ... and seeing this compromised would confuse and hurt me. And perhaps weaken my ability to submit to her.

In submitting I am opening myself up, I am becoming vulnerable. And I want to know that my trust is well-placed, in secure hands.

 

[onceburned]

If your Mistress leaves you at home with a long list of chores and goes out for the day to enjoy the sun would you complete the list happily for Her pleasure or sullenly because you think you should be with Her?

Is this a question for everyone?

 

[SweetDommes]

I think I would have no problem serving a domme who submitted to another domme - so long as I did not see some form of gross abasmement such as crawling on the floor to lick her feet.

This would never happen ... I have feet issues and bad knees and anyway, neither one of us are that kind of Domme.

But I think I have a need to view my domme as strong and independent. I want to be able to look up to her, to be able to rely on her strength ... and seeing this compromised would confuse and hurt me. And perhaps weaken my ability to submit to her.

In submitting I am opening myself up, I am becoming vulnerable. And I want to know that my trust is well-placed, in secure hands.

I guess this is really the problem that I am facing ... would it make any of you feel like you were submitting to the wrong person? In our case, he submits to both of us, I submit to her ... I worry that he will begin to feel that I'm not domnant enough and that I'm not worthy of him submitting to me (forgive me if I'm not making sense ... my feelings on this are rather confused).

[/highjack] and now, back to your regularly scheduled thread.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Is this a question for everyone?

It certainly is...and I am waiting! Tap Tap Tap!

 

[Shadowsdream]

This would never happen ... I have feet issues and bad knees and anyway, neither one of us are that kind of Domme.




I guess this is really the problem that I am facing ... would it make any of you feel like you were submitting to the wrong person? In our case, he submits to both of us, I submit to her ... I worry that he will begin to feel that I'm not domnant enough and that I'm not worthy of him submitting to me (forgive me if I'm not making sense ... my feelings on this are rather confused).

[/highjack] and now, back to your regularly scheduled thread.

This question that is being discussed here is immensely important and I certainly hope that it will be given the honesty it requires. It takes courage to even ask and the courage needed to be open and understanding of the replies is vital. This is real life and is faced by many that both Dominate and submit.

Thank You for this new discussion!

 

[AAkasha]

Well, I have given it about a day so I will go ahead and offer my thoughts, inexperienced though they may be.

I think I would have no problem serving a domme who submitted to another domme - so long as I did not see some form of gross abasmement such as crawling on the floor to lick her feet. My domme showing respect to another domme... perfectly acceptable to me. But I think I have a need to view my domme as strong and independent. I want to be able to look up to her, to be able to rely on her strength ... and seeing this compromised would confuse and hurt me. And perhaps weaken my ability to submit to her.

In submitting I am opening myself up, I am becoming vulnerable. And I want to know that my trust is well-placed, in secure hands.

What if you saw your femdom in a place of total vulnerability? Crying, feeling depressed, needing support and strength from a man?


Akasha

 

[snowy ciara]

I'm not one of the boys, but here's my thing.... It depends on the situation. If I had originally been included in the plans and was left behind, I would get the list done, but with a sore heart and sullen attitude. I'm just contrary enough to do them (the stuff on the list) as perfectly as possible, and look for ways to go above and beyond the list to hopefully make You remember me. That I'm there. I'm probably putting this badly. If I had never been invited, or if it was a special just for You sort of thing, then not a problem. This of course, doesn't include being left behind because I've screwed up somehow and lost the priviledge of accompanying You. When it falls into something that's a direct consequence of my action, I'll still try to be perfect as possible, but without the attitude.

 

[SweetDommes]

What if you saw your femdom in a place of total vulnerability? Crying, feeling depressed, needing support and strength from a man?


Akasha

This is something that, unfortunately, I do sometimes ... I think I need to be medicated for depression ... or maybe bipolar.

 

[onceburned]

What if you saw your femdom in a place of total vulnerability? Crying, feeling depressed, needing support and strength from a man?

I would give it to her. We are all human - and that comes first.

 

[SweetDommes]

See, this is why I wish that you were within our criteria

 

[Shadowsdream]

I'm not one of the boys, but here's my thing.... It depends on the situation. If I had originally been included in the plans and was left behind, I would get the list done, but with a sore heart and sullen attitude. I'm just contrary enough to do them (the stuff on the list) as perfectly as possible, and look for ways to go above and beyond the list to hopefully make You remember me. That I'm there. I'm probably putting this badly. If I had never been invited, or if it was a special just for You sort of thing, then not a problem. This of course, doesn't include being left behind because I've screwed up somehow and lost the priviledge of accompanying You. When it falls into something that's a direct consequence of my action, I'll still try to be perfect as possible, but without the attitude.

~~smile~~ thank you ciara it is going to be interesting to see the different responses before I add My two cents...but one thing I will say now...this is a common ocurrence in My home...

 

[onceburned]

See, this is why I wish that you were within our criteria

Why thank you! Yes, the age difference between us is too great, which is unfortunate (not the first time I have thought that).

But I am not going to wish 20 years on you - and if I were 15 years younger I would still be married!

 

[SweetDommes]

Why thank you! Yes, the age difference between us is too great, which is unfortunate (not the first time I have thought that).

But I am not going to wish 20 years on you - and if I were 15 years younger I would still be married!

hehe, glad to know I'm not the only one who thought it and yeah, that marriage thing kinda doesn't work with what we want - don't know of many wives who would be ok with their husband moving in with someone else LOL

(ok, ok, I promise I'll quit highjacking ... )

 

[onceburned]

If your Mistress leaves you at home with a long list of chores and goes out for the day to enjoy the sun would you complete the list happily for Her pleasure or sullenly because you think you should be with Her? Why?

Goodness, I wouldn't be in service to her if I did not want her to be happy. If she considered her happiness to require my company, she would ask for it. If her happiness required that I do chores alone, I would do them.

Its a question of taking pleasure from being pleasing. I would want to please the woman I serve. This is a foundation of my happiness and, hopefully, would increase her happiness as well.